http://www.confuse-me.com/confusedThe latest transcribed Confused comics, powered by OhNoRobot.comen-usMon, 13 Feb 2006 01:36:42 EST http://www.confuse-me.com/confused/default.asp?id=205<a href="http://www.confuse-me.com/confused/default.asp?id=205">the eter-net</a><BR /><BR />[[Ben at computer]] <BR />[Ben] I wonder if heaven has the internet. <BR /> <BR />[Jesus] Hey dad! Check it out! LESBIANS! <BR />[God] I know! Aren't I so awesome? http://www.confuse-me.com/confused/default.asp?id=204<a href="http://www.confuse-me.com/confused/default.asp?id=204">Not that anything's wrong with that</a><BR /><BR />[[Cupid shoots Ben with heart-arrow]] <BR /> <BR />Ben: Ow! Hey! <BR /> <BR />Caitlin: Man, talk about freudian. You were "penetrated" by the "shaft" of love? <BR /> <BR />Ben: Ew. Ew. <BR /> <BR />Ewwwww. <BR /> <BR />Ew. <BR /> <BR />Ben: Wait. Does that mean I'm gay? http://www.confuse-me.com/confused/default.asp?id=203<a href="http://www.confuse-me.com/confused/default.asp?id=203">The Sorry State of the Union</a><BR /><BR />President Bush: ...and stay on track to cut the deficit in half by 2009. <BR />[[Applause]] <BR />From Offpanel: -everybody hold on a second!! <BR />- I - I'm sorry, Mr. President? <BR />Just help me through this. The def - you - when you came into office, the federal budget had a record surplus. In the five years since, you have repeatedly set your own records, in deficit spending, leading to the highest national debt since recovering from World War 2. Now you're telling us that by 2009 (at which time you will be out of office), you plan to halve the budget deficit? The one you created out of a record surplus? And this is good news? <BR />My Lord, Mr. President. What's the bad news? <BR /> <BR />President Bush: ... heh heh. Well, it's like I always say... <BR /> <BR />President Bush: FREEDOM FREEDOM 9/11 TERROR COURAGE LIBERTY TERROR 9/11 DEMOCRACY FREEDOM JUSTICE FREEDOM 9/11. ...democracy. http://www.confuse-me.com/confused/default.asp?id=202<a href="http://www.confuse-me.com/confused/default.asp?id=202">Rock Out!</a><BR /><BR />[[Caitlin & Stranger Dancing]] <BR /> <BR />[[Ben Interrupts]] <BR />Ben: *Ahem* <BR />Ben: May I have this dance? <BR /> <BR />[[Stranger bows out]] <BR /> <BR />[[Ben stands awkwardly]] <BR /> <BR />[[Ben sways slightly, "dancing"]] <BR /> <BR />[[Caitlin leaves, Ben keeps dancing]] http://www.confuse-me.com/confused/default.asp?id=143<a href="http://www.confuse-me.com/confused/default.asp?id=143">HA. HA. HA!</a><BR /><BR />[Ben] Hello there sir. Can I help you find anything? <BR />[Man] Yes, do you have printer cartridges by any chance? <BR /> <BR />[[Ben stares at "Printer Cartridges" sign in the background, bloodshot eyes bulge]] <BR /> <BR />[Man] ... ...uhm... so do you? <BR /> <BR />[Ben] No. Go someplace else. <BR />[Man] But-- <BR />[Ben] Leave http://www.confuse-me.com/confused/default.asp?id=201<a href="http://www.confuse-me.com/confused/default.asp?id=201">Top-Notch Security</a><BR /><BR />[Security Guard] Student ID card, please. <BR /> <BR />[[Ben shows ID card]] <BR />[Security Guard] You have to get your red spring quarter sticker before I can let you in. <BR /> <BR />[[Ben is sad]] <BR /> <BR />[[Heavily armed man approaches]] <BR />[Security Guard] Sticker? <BR />[Man] Yeah. <BR />[Security Guard] Go ahead. http://www.confuse-me.com/confused/default.asp?id=200<a href="http://www.confuse-me.com/confused/default.asp?id=200">Call it an</a><BR /><BR />CONFUSED COMICS <BR /> <BR />Ben: I have decided that Calvin & Hobbes is the best comic ever. <BR /> <BR />Ben: Better than this one, even! <BR />haha! fourth wall! <BR /> <BR />Caitlin: I don't understand why you like Calvin & Hobbes so much, Ben. <BR />Ben: Wha- you- I- ! <BR /> <BR />Ben: You can't say stuff like that! Next you'll be all "eh, the Beatles? I could take 'em or leave 'em." <BR />Stephen: Oh no! <BR /> <BR />Ben: Yes! And then she'll be saying, "You know, I've been thinking about breast reduction. They just get in the way." <BR />Stephen: But Ben- <BR />Ben: No buts! Then it will be over. <BR /> <BR />Ben: OVER! http://www.confuse-me.com/confused/default.asp?id=146<a href="http://www.confuse-me.com/confused/default.asp?id=146">Not tonight... I've got a Haddock</a><BR /><BR />...well this is embarrassing. <BR /> <BR />[Peter Parker has a web dream.] http://www.confuse-me.com/confused/default.asp?id=4<a href="http://www.confuse-me.com/confused/default.asp?id=4">Obsession: Part 2</a><BR /><BR />[Miguel/Ben]I thought you didn't like Diablo II...? <BR />[Akira/Sean]I didn't, but a gnome came to the door! I thought he was a Girl Scout... and he strapped me to the chair and MADE me play! Seriously! <BR /> <BR />[Ben]Yeah, dude... that wasn't sugar in your cereal, it was crack. http://www.confuse-me.com/confused/default.asp?id=3<a href="http://www.confuse-me.com/confused/default.asp?id=3">Obsession: Part 1</a><BR /><BR />[Akira/Sean]I think Miguel's been playing a little too much Diablo II... <BR />[Miguel/Ben offscreen]I shall cleanse this place of the evil that encompasses it <BR /> <BR />Crash! OW! OOF! <BR /> <BR />[Ben holding dead rat]What?!? Where's my Health Potion?