Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic - latest additions

Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic

Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic
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[[Fault map of California superimposed over a seismograph indicating a powerful earthquake]]

Attention, residents of Southern California!

Recent studies by the United States Geological Survey have revealed that we did, in fact, build several area cities on rock and roll.

Please contact your local Emergency Planning Office for your evacuation schedule.

The USGS would like to thank the band "Starship" for bringing the situation to our attention.

{{This also explains the subsidence problem at Jimmy Buffett's headquarters in Margaritaville, even though he insists it's his own damn fault.}}

Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic

Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic
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[[Cat in a cardboard box swatting at a tiny plastic zombie]]

The general who is skilled in defense hides in the most secret recesses of the Earth; he who is skilled in attack flashes forth from the topmost heights of Heaven.

Thus on the one hand we have the ability to protect ourselves; on the other, a victory that is complete.

{{Sun Tzu's Art of War, Chapter 4, stanza 7. Even though little kitty has only read the Lionel Giles translation, it's still enough to help against the zombie horde.}}

Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic

Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic
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[[Image similar to the eBay "it" ad partially visible in background]]

Glow: Tag! You're it!

Pink: Really? Cool! Thanks!

Glow: What?

Pink: This is great! I get to be "it" and I don't have to do anything!

Glow: But... But you've got to tag someone else now.

Pink: Hey! Back off! I LIKE being "it"!

{{This is based on an actual game of tag that almost broke out at Smith College's Conbust Sci-Fi / Gaming / etc. convention. Fortunately, we were able to keep "it" contained.}}

Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic

Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic
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[[Doctor looking at little girl in bed]]

Doctor: I have excellent news: we may be able to remove that peculiar growth from your feet.

{{We'll start surgery soon. Until then, you'll just have to be a little patient.}}

Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic

Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic
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{{Antique photo showing large council sitting in chamber behind four people in chairs}}

Speaker 1: The High Council of Bad Ideas has voted.

Speaker 2: Congratulations! We'd like you to join the inner circle.

Speaker 3: Yes, we really liked your latest project: "Guide cats for the blind."

Speaker 4: They're still finding people up trees or on high ledges...

{{Anyone can have a bad idea. The inner circle of the Council of Bad Ideas is responsible for putting these ideas into action. They're behind every major bad decision of the last 200 years, including "New Coke", Reaganomics and the Macarena.}}

Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic

Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic
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[[Buffy boxed DVD set]]

Pink: Man! This is a really depressing show sometimes.

Blue: Yeah. I don't mind a little bit of drama and tragedy, but it seems like every time someone has a hint of happiness they get slammed down hard by the angst hammer.

Pink: Angsthammer sounds like an emo Whack-A-Mole game.

Blue: Or a Norse heavy-metal band.

Pink: How about goth techno?

Blue: I can picture their tour t-shirt now. An e-mail smiley with a big red slash through it.

Pink: Throw an umlaut into the name and you're all set.

{{Presenting the Musical Stylings of ANGSTHÄMMER!}}

Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic

Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic
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[[Old man in front of bookshelves]]

Man thinking: This may look like the stacks of an ordinary college library

Man thinking: but according to this ancient tome... it hides a precious secret!

Man thinking: From what I've been able to decipher, this is the best place on campus to "hook up" with hot chicks!

{{In this image it's tough to read the title page of the book he's holding. It's a signed first edition of "How to Pick Up Trashy Women."}}

Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic

Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic
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[[Shopping-style list on ruled paper]]

Things Had
Hills <> or Trees (?) - Climbed them! Should be able to tell difference!
Hearts (skinned)
Knees (ditto)
Birds (singing) <> <>
Joy <> <>
Fun <> <>
Seasons (sunny) <> <>
Seasons (out of time) - Not hills after all. Still have trees?
Sheep (black) <> - Didn't HAVE sheep. WAS sheep. Can sheep climb trees?
Wine (too much) <> - Gone. Drank it? - May explain confusion.
Song (ditto) <> - Also gone. Seasons gone as well? <> No.
Love (gift from Michelle) - SEND "THANK YOU" CARD!
Sun - Found - may need to return to owner.
Flowers
Stars <>
Starfish (on beach) - Not stars after all. GET EYES CHECKED.

{{If you listen to the lyrics, "Seasons in the Sun" is one of the most depressing songs from a decade full of depressing songs.}}

Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic

Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic
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[[Split picture of two plastic bags]]

According to folklore, there were two broad categories of fairy folk.

There were the mischievous fey of the Seelie court.
and the malevolent, Unseelie fey.

Nowadays, that's how we describe the two different kinds of freezer bags.

{{Thus far, we have discovered no folklore equivalents for things like clingwrap or aluminum foil.}}

Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic

Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic
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[[Cat with nose buried in a jacket lining]]

Now, sniff it!

Into shape!

Shape it up!

Get straight!

Nose forward!

Move ahead!

Try to detect it!

It's not too late!

To sniff it!

Sniff it good!

{{Little kitty is _so_ Devo!}}