http://monkeylaw.orgThe latest transcribed Monkey Law comics, powered by OhNoRobot.comen-ushttp://www.monkeylaw.org/images/oldLogo-ohnorobot.gifhttp://monkeylaw.orgTue, 20 Feb 2007 14:26:50 EST http://monkeylaw.org/2007/02/28/atrophying/<a href="http://monkeylaw.org/2007/02/28/atrophying/">Atropyhing</a><BR /><BR />GIRL MONKEY: I should be looking for work, but here I am in front of the idiot box. <BR /> <BR />GIRL MONKEY: An endless parade of judge shows, soap operas, and ads for personal-injury attorneys. <BR />GIRL MONKEY: I need to turn it off. <BR />GIRL MONKEY: I can feel my mind atropyhing. <BR /> <BR />GIRL MONKEY: Every second I sit here, I get weaker. http://monkeylaw.org/index.php?date=20070117<a href="http://monkeylaw.org/index.php?date=20070117">Monkey Law - Wednesday, January 17, 2007</a><BR /><BR />SNOW DAY! (Texas style) http://monkeylaw.org/index.php?date=20070105<a href="http://monkeylaw.org/index.php?date=20070105">Monkey Law - Friday, January 5, 2007</a><BR /><BR />MONKEY ANGST: Well, it's official. The 110th Congress is in session, and the Democrats are in power for the first time in twelve years... <BR />MONKEY ANGST: I guess I'm optimistic... well, cautiously so, anyway... <BR /> <BR />MONKEY ANGST: For over a decade, we've seen how low the Republicans can sink in pursuit of their agenda, from redrawing Congressional districts to impeachment... <BR />MONKEY ANGST: I hope the Democrats can learn from their counterexample and manage not to let the heady brew of victory go to their heads... <BR /> <BR />MONKEY LOVE: Dude! Nancy Pelosi's performing an abortion on the house floor! <BR />MONKEY ANGST: And so it begins... http://monkeylaw.org/index.php?date=20070119<a href="http://monkeylaw.org/index.php?date=20070119">Monkey Law - Friday, January 19, 2007</a><BR /><BR />MONKEY ANGST: Whatcha watching? <BR />MONKEY LOVE: "Pan's Labyrinth." <BR />MONKEY ANGST: That's out on DVD already?" <BR />MONKEY LOVE: Nah, it's a screener. I downloaded it. <BR /> <BR />MONKEY ANGST: Isn't that, you know... illegal? <BR />MONKEY LOVE: So is smoking weed, but we do that all the time... <BR /> <BR />MONKEY ANGST: There's a flaw in your logic somewhere, but I'll be damned if I feel like finding it. <BR />MONKEY LOVE (passing bong): Here. Hit this. http://monkeylaw.org/index.php?date=20070122<a href="http://monkeylaw.org/index.php?date=20070122">Monkey Law by Brad Hawkins - Updates Monday, Wednesday, and Friday</a><BR /><BR />BARACK OBAMA: Hello, my name's Barack Obama, and I'm running for... <BR />HILLARY CLINTON: Barack Hussein Obama! <BR /> <BR />OBAMA: Uh, yes, thank you, Hillary. As I was saying, I'm running for President because... <BR />CLINTON: Barack HUSSEIN Obama! <BR /> <BR />OBAMA: Because I feel that a new direction is needed in this... <BR />CLINTON: Barack <BR />CLINTON: Hussein <BR />CLINTON: Obama! <BR /> <BR />OBAMA: Stop that! <BR />CLINTON: BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA! http://monkeylaw.org/index.php?date=20070108<a href="http://monkeylaw.org/index.php?date=20070108">Monkey Law - Monday, January 8, 2007</a><BR /><BR />GIRL MONKEY: Ooh, little chilly tonight! I can see my breath! <BR />MONKEY ANGST: You know what I like best about cold weather? <BR />MONKEY ANGST: Watching all the smokers passing out 'cause they don't know when to stop exhaling! <BR />GIRL MONKEY: Hey! That's a Bill Hicks joke! You stole that joke! <BR />MONKEY ANGST: Stole? what stole? it was a quote! I was quoting Bill Hicks! <BR />GIRL MONKEY: Quoting my ass. you didn't attribute it. there was no attribution. <BR />MONKEY ANGST: Attribution? what is this, a peer-reviewed journal? this is a casual conversation! <BR />MONKEY ANGST: Since when do you have to attribute quotes in casual conversation? <BR />GIRL MONKEY: You were just trying to pass it off as your own! <BR />MONKEY ANGST: I was not! <BR />GIRL MONKEY: Yes you were. You were hoping I wouldn't recognize it! <BR />MONKEY ANGST: Listen, I would never in a million years think you wouldn't know Bill Hicks. <BR />MONKEY ANGST: The fact is, you're cooler than me in every way, and I knew I could rely on that fact. I knew you'd know where the joke came from, so I didn't think it needed any attribution! <BR />GIRL MONKEY: Heh. <BR />GIRL MONKEY: Nice try. <BR />MONKEY ANGST (thinking): Man, I wish I'd thought up that joke... http://monkeylaw.org/index.php?date=20070112<a href="http://monkeylaw.org/index.php?date=20070112">Monkey Law by Brad Hawkins - Updates Monday, Wednesday, and Friday</a><BR /><BR />[[Sign on Army recruiting office reads "Free Next-Gen System Inside"]] <BR />TEENAGER: Aw, sweet! <BR /> <BR />TEENAGER: Hey, are you, like, givin' away 360s or Wiis or what? <BR />MONKEY SARGE: Xbox? Wii? These are your idea of "next generation?" <BR /> <BR />MONKEY SARGE: Let me ask you something... you like Gears of War, right? <BR />TEENAGER: Yeah. <BR />MONKEY SARGE: And Ghost Recon? <BR />TEENAGER: Sure. <BR />MONKEY SARGE: Yeah, those games are okay, I guess... <BR /> <BR />MONKEY SARGE: But what if instead of widescreen HDTV, you could play in a totally immersive environment, with 360-degree views horizontally and vertically! No lag time, and an infinite frame rate! <BR /> <BR />MONKEY SARGE: What is instead of some pussy little force-feedback controller, you had 100% realistic tactile response all over your body... <BR />MONKEY SARGE: from the sweat on your forehead to the kick of an M240B machine gun as you send 7.62mm rounds down range at 600 a minute! <BR />MONKEY SARGE: And you can forget about your faggy little 5.1-channel surround sound... <BR /> <BR />MONKEY SARGE: We're talking omniphonic sound! Explosions and bullet hits, all around you! <BR />MONKEY SARGE: I'm offering the ULTIMATE FIRST-PERSON EXPERIENCE! <BR /> <BR />MONKEY ANGST: Wow, you are frighteningly good at this. <BR />MONKEY SARGE: I believe the word you're looking for is "l33t." http://monkeylaw.org/index.php?date=20061229<a href="http://monkeylaw.org/index.php?date=20061229">Monkey Law - Friday, December 29, 2006</a><BR /><BR />MONKEY ANGST: Sugar Monkey! Thank God you're okay! <BR />SUGAR MONKEY: They let me keep my jumpsuit! <BR /> <BR />MONKEY ANGST: And you! Where do you government thugs get off thinking you can just label anyone you feel like a terrorist? <BR />MONKEY ANGST: Just because they threaten the profits of some corporation?? <BR /> <BR />MONKEY ANGST: Activism isn't terrorism! People have a right to try to change things! <BR />MONKEY ANGST: You can't just go around locking up people who don't agree with you! <BR /> <BR />MONKEY ANGST: Sigh... http://monkeylaw.org/index.php?date=20060220<a href="http://monkeylaw.org/index.php?date=20060220">Monkey Law - Monday, February 20, 2006</a><BR /><BR />GEORGE W. BUSH: So, Dick, I bet you'll be glad to put that hunting thing behind you... <BR />DICK CHENEY: Are you nuts? We got a whole week without any wiretapping or torture stories! I'm thinkin' about stabbing a guy on Wednesday! http://monkeylaw.org/index.php?date=20060116<a href="http://monkeylaw.org/index.php?date=20060116">Monkey Law - Monday, January 16, 2006</a><BR /><BR />MONKEY LOVE: Hey, it looks like someone crashed here last night in clear violation of the 3rd Amendment! It's my roommate's best buddy, Sarge! <BR />SARGE: (reading Chronicle) Yo. <BR /> <BR />MONKEY LOVE: So, Sarge, how's the recruiting game going? <BR />SARGE: Well, I've just read that they've pulled 48 Marines from ceremonial duties at Annapolis and shipped them to Iraq... <BR /> <BR />MONKEY LOVE: Well, surely during wartime, guarding tombs and shit isn't... <BR />SARGE: My point is that it's 48 guys. That's how hard up for troops we are! <BR /> <BR />MONKEY LOVE: Whatever. Is there any cereal left? <BR />SARGE: Nah. The Navy reactivated Cap'n Crunch. He shipped out last night.