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Wigu - Case of the Missile Crisis - April 27, 2006

Wigu - Case of the Missile Crisis - April 27, 2006

[[A night time scene of the crevasse that housed the missile silo that was Andre's secret hideout. Large fluffy clouds float above the crevasse on an otherwise clear night. Eighteen stars shine in the sky, and the pale glow of the moon appears from behind one of the clouds. The missile silo is still faintly smoldering as two black vans, one with a large antennae, drive toward it with their headlights on.]]

Title: THE CASE OF THE MISSILE CRISIS!
Subtitle: A Wigu BOOK

Blurb One: "I've loved Wigu ever since I first laid eyes on it, back in the olden days of the Internet. Jeffrey's drawing speak to me in secret loving whispers." - Bryan Lee O'Malley (Scott Pilgrim, Lost at Sea)

Blurb Two: "Jeffrey Rowland is comics' Drunken Master, and a mere four pages of WIGU could grind Jackie Chan's old bones into powder." - Warren Ellis (Transmetropolitan, Planetary)

Wigu - Case of the Missile Crisis - April 26, 2006

Wigu - Case of the Missile Crisis - April 26, 2006

Narrator: 8:41 pm
[[Quincy and Romy on an Icelandic hotel bed.]]
Quincy: What are we gonna do, Romy? Should we take Andre's offer?
Romy: Wigu thinks it's safe. And if we don't take it we're gonna spend our lives in prison.
Quincy: Yeah.
Romy: Taking the offer is the only shot we've got at seeing our kids grow up.

[[Andre opens the door to Romy and Quincy's hotel room.]]
Andre: Hey guys, we can talk about the Mars thing later but right now we have to go find Atlantis.
Quincy: What? Why?
Andre: Turn on the TV.

[[The TV shows a woman dressed in a suit jacket and stockings in front of what looks like a series of monitors, and a man in a suit inset in a smaller panel.]]
TV: A horrifying nuclear war that would have killed billions was narrowly avoided today after an American missile was accidentally fired from an abandoned nuclear site. The full story up next, plus we'll tell you how the things you eat can kill you instantly.
Andre: Yeah, we've gotta get out of this hemisphere.
Narrator: NEXT - THE CASE OF ATLANTIS

Wigu - Case of the Missile Crisis - April 25, 2006

Wigu - Case of the Missile Crisis - April 25, 2006

[[In the courtyard of an Icelandic town. Andre stands with his arms crossed, and Quincy approaches with a scroll and something else.]]
Andre: How did you find me, anyways?
Quincy: I guess I used our special twin powers!
Quincy: Here, check this out.

[[Quincy hands the scroll and bar with a pyramid / all-seeing-eye knob on one end to Andre's outstretched and waiting hands.]]

[[Andre, reading the scroll.]]
Andre: Oh
Andre: my
Andre: God

Andre: You have a map to Atlantis... and a key to its Library! This is priceless!
Quincy: Yeah, but I can't read Spanish.

[[Andre walking away with the scroll. Wigu standing free of his mother.]]
Andre: I have to study this.
Wigu: Dad, the Googel Maverick can go to Mars! I know how to make it space-proof!

Quincy: Quiet, you. I'm tryin' to see if we can squeeze some more money out of him.

Wigu - Case of the Missile Crisis - April 24, 2006

Wigu - Case of the Missile Crisis - April 24, 2006

[[Quincy addresses Andre in a charming Icelandic courtyard.]]
Quincy: You're askin' a lot, Andre. We may be in trouble but flyin' to Mars and back is way too dangerous.

Andre: You also hve my personal guarantee that you and your family will never be captured by the authorities.

[[Still seated around the patio table, Romy holding on tightly to Wigu who looks a little uncomfortable.]]
Quincy: How do I know how good your guarantee is?
Andre: Probably better than yours, Mr. Porno - soundtrack - Composer - Because - He - Lost-His - Job - as - a - music - Professor - After - getting - Sued - By - A - female - student.

[[Quincy reaching into a bag, while Andre is turned toward the horizon with his arms crossed.]]
Quincy: Before we say another word, I need to show you something, Mr. I - Graduated - High - School - When - I - was - Ten - years - Old - and - Got - my - Picture - Taken - with - the - President.
Andre: I still haven't recovered from that.
Andre: Emotionally.

Wigu - Case of the Missile Crisis - April 23, 2006

Wigu - Case of the Missile Crisis - April 23, 2006

[[Wigu and Andre in front of a small town Icelandic scene. Wigu looks upset. The round table of yesterday has become the patio table of today!]]
Wigu: You can't take my spaceship! I'm the only person in the world who knows how to fly it!
Andre: That's the tricky part.

[[Quincy, looking upset]]
Quincy: Are you...

[[Quincy standing up at the table, addressing his brother. Paisley looks on in wonderment, or perhaps craving BIER.]]
Quincy: Are you askin' me to let my boy give you a ride to Mars?
Andre: It's perfectly safe! And, well, I can make you a pretty nice offer.

[[Romy wrapping her arms around Wigu protectively.]]
Romy: There's nothing you can offer us to put our son in danger!
Wigu: How much?

Andre: I've got about half a billion dollars in several different international banks.
Quincy: How?!

[[Andre, looking to the horizon, beyond the Icelandic hotel, three Icelandic trees, and an Icelandic white rectangle.]]
Andre: I just happened to know the right buttons to push on the Internet.

Wigu - Case of the Missile Crisis - April 22, 2006

Wigu - Case of the Missile Crisis - April 22, 2006

[[Andre, Quincy, Romy, and Paisley, standing around in Iceland, near a structure of some sort.]]
Andre: I'll check us into the hotel as soon as I figure out which one of these counterfeit passports Interpol doesn't already know about.
Quincy: How long's it been since we stayed in a hotel? Five years?
Romy: Are you counting jail?

[[Andre, looking annoyed, and Quincy, looking insecure.]]
Andre: After that we'll discuss the small matter of the seventy-million-dollar, multi-stage rocket you owe me.
Quincy: Gulp!

Narrator: ONE HOUR AND TEN MINUTES LATER
[[Andre, Quincy, and the rest of the Tinkles are seated around a round table with a fashionable candle in the centre. Andre and Quincy each have an open BIER and Andre has a napkin to his right.]]
Andre: Quincy, I have an offer for you, but I'm afraid you might not like it
Quincy: Is this gonna be like that movie "Indecent Proposal?"
Andre: Kind of.

[[Andre standing outside, BIER in hand, in front of two hills bearing five somewhat healthy trees and a building that I am guessing is the hotel.]]
Andre: Now, I'm going to go to Mars. It's my destiny.
Andre: That rocket was my life's work, and I didn't design it to come back.
Andre: I need your little boy's spaceship.

Wigu - Case of the Missile Crisis - April 21, 2006

Wigu - Case of the Missile Crisis - April 21, 2006

Narrator: SOON
[[Andre, Quincy, and the top of Wigu's head in the Google Maverick]]
Andre: ...and then I got kicked out of the physics department after I made a teeny little wormhole...
Quincy: Woah!

[[The Google Maverick and Hugotti Diablo flying above the ocean appoaching an island.]]
An unseen Andre in the Google Maverick: Yeah, the main problem with wormholes is what comes out of 'em.
An unseen Paisley in the Hugotti Diablo: Mom?

[[Paisley and Romy seated in the Hugotti Diablo.]]
Paisley: Mom, this is stupid. Andre's a psycho. I just wanna go obsessively update my "Myspace" profile.
Romy: We're fugitives now, Paisley. You're gona have to get a new "myspace" account with completely made-up information.

An unseen Romy in the Hugotti Diablo: Maybe you'll like it better in Iceland, Paisley. I think they have a high goth population.
An unseen Paisley in the Hugotti Diablo: I'm not a goth. I am a nihlist.

Narrator: .ICELAND..
[[Quincy and Romy in Iceland, standing outside and looking around]]
Quincy: Funny. I'd always imagined it'd be... y'know... icy.

Wigu - Case of the Missile Crisis - April 20, 2006

Wigu - Case of the Missile Crisis - April 20, 2006

Narrator: SOON
[[Wigu and Andre in front of the Google Maverick and Hugotti Diablo.]]
Andre: So which one of these spaceships is yours, little buddy?
Wigu: The gold one. The other one has the soul of my dead friend stuck in it.

Andre: Well let's cram inside and get the hell out of here before the Army comes back.
Quincy: Who rides in what?

Hugo/Hugotti Diablo: You know tha rules. No dudes. Hoez only.
Wigu: Hugo doesn't allow boys to ride in him.

[[Wigu, Quincy and Andre in the Google Maverick. Wigu piloting.]]
Andre: We've gotta get to someplace safe like... Iceland.
Quincy: Wigu, do you know where that is?
Wigu: Yes.

[[The Google Maverick and Hugotti Diablo zoom away from the site of the missile silo.]]
An unseen Wigu: Computer, set course for Riceland.
An unseen passenger in the Google Maverick: Iceland.
Wigu: Iceland.

Wigu - Case of the Missile Crisis - April 19, 2006

Wigu - Case of the Missile Crisis - April 19, 2006

Narrator: 8 1/2 MINUTES LATER...
[[The smoke is clearing from the launch site. The ground around the opening to the missile silo is scorched, as is the door to the shelter.]]

[[Quincy, Romy and Andre emerge from the shelter. Andre is rubbing his eye.]]
Romy: Remind me to never again spend more than five minutes in an enclosed space with your brother, Quincy.
Quincy: Our Kids!

[[Quincy and Romy peer down into the charred insides of the missile silo]]
Quincy: Wigu!? Paisley!? Are you okay?! Did you get completely incinerated?!

[[Wigu and Paisley in the now darked control room.]]
Wigu: Paisley! Do you hear that?!
Paisley: I can't hear anything! It's like I've been standing in front of a speaker at a metal show for a week!

Wigu - Case of the Missile Crisis - April 18, 2006

Wigu - Case of the Missile Crisis - April 18, 2006

<<PSHOOM>>
[[The rocket erupts from the missile silo with a cloud of smoke, blowing the silo doors off their hinges and into the air. A hand can be seen closing the door of the shelter.]]

[[From a height you can seen the rocket continues its ascent from a canyon, while the bombers wing away. In the distance you can see what looks like the streets of a town or country roads around fields.]]
The talking wing of a plane: Tell the president to sit there dumbfounded until he receives further instructions.

[[In the control room bunker, Wigu and Paisley are covering their ears, shutting their eyes, and baring their teeth; bracing themselves against the roar of the rocket taking off.]]