Mac Hall - latest additions

36 Hours

36 Hours

{{Title: Ohio}}/[[Jes asleep riding in the passenger seat of a car with a stream of drool hanging from her mouth. A road map rests across her chest.]]
Jes's Dad: Jes, which exit do we need to...
Jes's Dad: ...Nevermind.

{{Title: Iowa}}/[[Jes awake wearing the map as a folded paper hat]]
Jes's Dad: It's right after I-80, Then we...

{{Title: Wyoming}}[[Jes and her dad both looking out the passenger side of the car]]
<<WA-THUNK!>>
Jes: Did we just get hit by a tumbleweed?

{{Title: Thank you dad. -Jes}}

Hard Code

Hard Code

[[Blurry shot of Drew angrily flinging papers at the class]]
Drew: All right assholes, listen up!

[[Blurry shot of dumbfounded students]]
Drew: I have here the printouts from your latest assignment. The purpose of this assignment, clearly labled, was to teach you how to use dynamically allocated data structures. Just because you can complete this objective with a huge honking static array doesn't mean you should, since it pretty much negates the professor's increasingly futile attempts to sharpen your infantile thinking skills, doesn't it?

[[Drew looking disgusted]]
Drew: By the way, you miserable monkey men who tried to hardcode the results into your program are beneath my mention.

[[Drew yelling and clicking something that looks like a timer in his hand]]
As the person controlling your grades, I offer you this advice in closing: Work harder or there'll be hell to pay, you ignorant fuckers!
<<Click>>

[[The Professor walks in on an empty class. Drew with his back to him regards him nonchalantly]]
Professor: Done already? There's still five more minutes before class starts.
Drew: I signed on to be a teaching assistant, not your enforcer. Why can't you scream at the freshmen?
Professor: I like being the good cop, plus I need plausible deniability from the dean.

All Work And No Sleep Makes Ian Draw Bad

All Work And No Sleep Makes Ian Draw Bad

[[JM is looking at a medicine package, with a hot water bag on his head; Matt is covered in a blanket]]
Narrator: The Flu of Doom continues to rampage through Mac Hall
JM: Why would they make a child-safety cap with pictographic instructions?
Matt: Dear Lord in heaven, I beg of you, strike me down where I stand.
Narrator: JM: Got coughed on by Ian.
Narrator: Temperature: 100.9
Narrator: Matt: Drank out of JM's glass.
Narrator: Temperature: 103.1

[[Helen is rubbing Micah's back]]
Narrator: Micah: Used a Nintendo controller after Matt sneezed on it.
Narrator: Temperature: 102.1
Micah: Rubbing so good... and yet so painful...
Helen: Hang in there, eh?
Narrator: Helen: Is going to be washing her hands and arms with bactine after she leaves.
Narrator: Temperature: 98.6

You're Hired

You're Hired

[[JM is standing behind Drew glaring at him]]
JM: You bastard.
Drew: Sorry, I must have missed the "Circle-JM" brand on the hind-quarters.

[[Ian is standing behind Matt as he searches for a job on his computer]]
Ian: Job hunt?

Matt: Yeah, nine bucks an hour doesn't stretch like it used to. This site here takes your profile and returns matches you're qualified for. Like a dating site, only more chances you'll wind up getting screwed.
Ian: Done some research on that, huh?

<<Sounds of typing on keyboard>> Matt: Bachelor's Degree... Previous experience... Salary requirements... Search.

[[Matt gets a solemn glare on his face]]

[[Ian has an amused grin as he looks at the search results]] Matt: "Sperm donor"?
Ian: "We currently have high demand for Jewish, Hispanic/Latino, full-blooded Italian, African American, and Filipino men."

Common courtesy

Common courtesy

[[There are 4 computer "error" messages. All read "You have been disconnected from AIM. This screen name is signed in at another location. Reconnect/Quit"]]

[[Matt looks very angry. He is dialling a phone number]]
<<BEEP>>
<<BOOP>>
<<BEEP>>

[[Matt is yelling at the phone]]
Matt: Stop jerking off with my laptop.

Matt: Or at least close iChat.

Totally Aryn's quote

Totally Aryn's quote

[[Scarlet Sentinel is standing]]

[[Scarlet Sentinel is still standing]]

[[Scarlet Sentinel bends down]]

[[Scarlet Sentinel has picked up a piece of paper]]
Message window: Scarlet Sentinel receives loot: [Letter to the Scarlet Crusade].

[[Scarlet Sentinel is reading the letter]]
Letter: Dear Scarlet Doods, Please restock the Thorium Veins in your base. You're out. PS: IM IN UR BASE!! IM KILLING UR MANS!!!
Love, ---Cherabim

[[Cherabim has leapt at Scarlet Sentinel from behind]]

Hail, citizen

Hail, citizen

[[Ian is holding a gamepad in front of a PC]]

[[City of Heroes is loading (86%)]]

[[Ian's avatar, 'The Masked Slacker', has entered the game]]
Message window: The Masked Slacker has joined the server.
Message window: Welcome to guardian, citizen.

[[The Masked Slacker has noticed another player named 'The Greeter']]

The Masked Slacker: Pardon me, fellow champion of justice, but I don't believe I understand your hero title. Does it stand for some sor-

[[The Greeter yelling very loudly]]
The Greeter: WELCOME TO WALMART!!

[[The Masked Slacker is shocked and recoiling backwards while The Greeter returns to his arm-folded pose]]

[[A particularly grumpy Ian is Uninstalling City of Heroes]]
<<-CLICK->>
Message window: Uninstalling City of Heroes (32%)

Process

Process

[Matt is behind his desk at work]]
Matt: Ah, the start of a new day at work!
Matt: Shall I begin by making calls to suburban parents so they can lie about why they don't want poor kids assigned to their middle school?
Matt: ...or would I rather shoot myself in the head?

[[Matt is pondering]]

Matt: This sounds like an excellent question to procrastinate on.

Old Ass

Old Ass

[[Helen, behind her computer, looks around]]
Micah: Hey, this isn't Everquest!

Micah: This is World of Warcraft!
Helen: Yeah, Ian hooked me up.

Helen: You wanted me to play.
Helen: I'm a' playin'.
Micah: The point was to do something together.
Micah: Why'd you change my gift?

Helen: Besides that it looks like old ass?
Micah: Everquest is not old, it's classic ass.

Pants

Pants

[[Malakym has walked into a store]]
Shopkeeper seems startled.

Shopkeeper: ?

[[Malakym has leaned on the counter]]
Shopkeeper: :)
Malakym: (pants)?
Shopkeeper: $

[[The shopkeeper hands a pair of pants to Malakym]]

[[Malakym strikes a 'victory pose' while wearing the pants]]
Malakym: (Pants) (Pants) (Pants) (Happy face w/thumbs up) (crossed out underwear)

[[Another player stares at Malakym, who has a crazed look on her face]]
Malakym: (Pants)

[[Malakym bounces away]]
Malakym: (Pants)

[[The other player has lifted one finger]]
Player: (Pants)

[[The shopkeeper sees that Malakym's pants have transformed into a pair of underwear]]
Shopkeeper: (Horrified face)