Tales From Band Camp - latest additions

Ringtones - April 11, 2008

Ringtones - April 11, 2008
";
<>
Mr. Sharpenflatte: OK, Let's stop here...

<>
Mr. Sharpenflatte: TRUMPETS! How many times have I told you NOT to play after I cut off?

Kevin: But we didn't even have anything there to play!!

Daphne: Heh... Maybe I'll keep this trumpet fanfare as my ringtone for a little while longer....
<>

I'm Not Afraid to Use It! - April 4, 2008

I'm Not Afraid to Use It! - April 4, 2008
";
Title: On the "spring trip" bus ride

Mr. Sharpenflatte [[peering back behind the bus seat]]: Hey..This is the third time I've asked you all to lower your voices.

Mr. Sharpenflatte: The next time I have to say something, I am taking extreme measures.

Mr. Sharpenflatte: I have this tape of my collegiate senior recital and I'm not afraid to use it!
Band: Noooo, anything but that!

Keep on Marchin' - March 28, 2008

Keep on Marchin' - March 28, 2008
";
Title: Keep on Marchin'

[[Buster doing the "Keep on Truckin' pose]]

With apologies to R. Crumb

Sacrifices for Music - March 21, 2008

Sacrifices for Music - March 21, 2008
";
Mr. Sharpenflatte: We need better balance on this piece. First trumpets, we need someone to drop down and play third.

<>

Mr. Sharpenflatte: Sigh...I'll let you post a picture of me wearing a pink tutu on your Myspace page. [[covers his eyes]]

Mr. Sharpenflatte thinks: The sacrifices we make for music...
Trumpet 1: Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me!
Trumpet 2: I'll do it!

New Band Student - March 7, 2008

New Band Student - March 7, 2008
";
Mr. Sharpenflatte: I'd like to introduce our newest band student today...

[[and it's Lisa Simpson holding her sax]]

What Trombones Hear - February 29, 2008

What Trombones Hear - February 29, 2008
";
Title: What directors say to trombones:

Mr. Sharpenflatte: Now trombones, I've asked you to watch me during that rallentando, but you've yet to do that. Trombones, did you hear what I just said?

Title: What they hear:

Mr. Sharpenflatte: Blah blah blah blah TROMBONES blah blah blah blah blah blah. TROMBONES, blah blah blah blah blah?

Title: With apologies to Gary Larson!

The Wall Test - February 22, 2008

The Wall Test - February 22, 2008
";
Katherine [[holding clarinet reed]]: Aww..My favorite reed is chipped. Maybe it'll still play though.

Mr. Sharpenflatte: Here - Let me show you how we can tell with the "wall test".

Mr. Sharpenflatte: If the reed is still good, it will survive the test. Otherwise, it's no good.
Katherine: Oh, ok!

[[Mr. Sharpenflatte presses the reed against the wall]]
<>

Mr. Sharpenflatte: Nope. Didn't Pass.
[[tosses broken reed into trash can]]

The Worst Musician Sin - February 15, 2008

The Worst Musician Sin - February 15, 2008
";
Buster [to Rick]: You know, there are a lot of bad things that you can do as a musician.

Buster: You could drop your horn or spill a drink on your uniform...

Buster: But then there's the worst musician sin of all!
Rick: What's that?

Buster (from off frame): Write on your music in pen.
Mr. Sharpenflatte: How many times have I said...!! [[yelling at Warren]]
Warren: Sorry... [[holding piece of music]]

Conductor Solo - February 8, 2008

Conductor Solo - February 8, 2008
";
[[Mr. Sharpenflatte is conducting the band]]

Mr. Sharpenflatte: (thinking) cue the oboe...

Daphne: (thinking) LA LA LAND...
Mr. Sharpenflatte: Hello?

Mr. Sharpenflatte: Daphne? Your solo starts at measure 40. I just cued you - didn't you hear that open part with nothing else being played?

Daphne: Oh... I thought it was a conductor solo.

Trumpets as Percussion - January 24, 2008

Trumpets as Percussion - January 24, 2008
";
Mr. Sharpenflatte: Gently.. gently!

<>

Mr. Sharpenflatte thinks: No one ever tells you in your music education classes that trumpet mutes falling on the floor should really be percussion instruments.

(from off screen): Heh. Sorry!