Dinosaur Comics - latest additions

The Middle Ground

The Middle Ground
";
Narrator: LOGICAL FALLACY COMICS PRESENTS: "THE MIDDLE GROUND"

T-Rex: This fallacy is when you assume that since a position is between two extremes, it must be right!

T-Rex: It seems to occur because often, this IS the case. For instance, eating a moderate amount of food is better than eating to excess, or eating not at all. However, just because a case is between two extremes does not make it automatically correct! It must be JUSTIFIED!

Utahraptor: Well, what's an example where the middle ground is not correct?

T-Rex: Easy!

T-Rex: Say you think I should go on a trip around the world, while I assure you that I can't afford it and that I should stay home. From that, we would conclude that I should go on a trip exactly half-way around the world, where I'd probably run out of money and get stuck!

Utahraptor: Sounds good to me!

T-Rex: Luckily, we have arrived to that conclusion via a fallacy and so I will be making no such trip!

The Middle Ground

for more information on these diseases, i, um, i made comics about them

for more information on these diseases, i, um, i made comics about them
";
T-Rex: It turns out there actually is a disease where you cry all the time! Dacryorrhea! I made it up but it already exists.

T-Rex: This is not the first time this has happened!

T-Rex: There's TONS of horrible diseases that sound like they're just made up by somebody, but actually do exist. Fibrodysplasia ossificans progressiva, in which connective tissue becomes bone, freezing a person in place! The Capgras delusion, in which loved ones appear to you to be replaced by imposters! And these are just the two I know about.

T-Rex: And THEN, there's the diseases that are familiar because they're so common, but still messed up!
Utahraptor: Such as?

T-Rex: Man, Alzheimer's? I mean, I know this disease has always been an issue for me, but it's so terrible. And honestly, it sounds like it's something out of bad fiction. It's ridiculous on the same level as "always cries". It shouldn't happen.
Utahraptor: I don't know what to tell you, man!

Narrator: LATER
T-Rex: God, how come we live in a world where all these awful diseases exist?
GOD: T-REX HOW COME YOU WALK AROUND THE DOWNTOWN CORE NAKED
T-Rex: Man! These two questions better not have the same answer!!

t-rex is a motivational speaker!

t-rex is a motivational speaker!
";
T-Rex: People are always like, "Boo hoo hoo! I'm not motivated!" Well, not anymore! Not since I, T-Rex, have decided to become...

T-Rex: ...a motivational speaker!

T-Rex: It'll be fantastic, Dromiceiomimus! I will motivate through a combination of folk wisdom and "uncommon sense" advice couch in stock market analogies!
Dromiceiomimus: Sounds great?
T-Rex: Sounds MOTIVATIONAL!

Utahraptor: I don't think the world needs what you're offering, T-Rex!
T-Rex: Think positive, friend.

Utahraptor: No, really! I don't know anyone who's ever been motivated by an insincere catch phrase. I think you need to get back to basics, if you're serious about this!
T-Rex: Basics, eh? Hmm...

Narrator: LATER:
T-Rex: Excuse me! Unmotivcated people? I'm T-Rex, your motivational speaker!
T-Rex: So! Has anyone here ever tried setting goals, and then achieving those goals?

t-rex is a motivational speaker!

the radio's turned down. it's not because i couldn't get the lyrics to fit otherwise.

the radio's turned down. it's not because i couldn't get the lyrics to fit otherwise.
";
T-Rex: I like it when commercials license pop songs and then make up their own product centric lyrics. It's a window into an alternate corporate-controlled universe!

T-Rex: An alternate corporate controlled universe where all songwriters have brain damage?

The lyrics are always so terrible and the songs entirely arbitrary. It's like - it's like they license "Candle in the Wind" and then have some Elton John sound-alike singing "Goodbye, Norma Jeane / Did you ever / Use Duracell / They make some fine batteries / On this we all should dwell"
Dromiceiomimus: Hah! You know, I'd watch that commercial!
T-Rex: It's so representative!

Utahraptor: Now do "Somewhere Over The Rainbow"!
T-Rex: Sure! Um....how about -

T-Rex: Someone's Sara-Lee branded / cherry pie / makes me glad that I've heard that / they're now in high supply"
Utahraptor: Hilarious! It makes me want to buy a Sara-Lee branded cherry pie.
T-Rex: It's not that hard! You just imagine being good and then don't do that.

Narrator: THAT EVENING (SET TO THE TUNE OF "WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD"):
Off-screen: I see leaves of green / red onions too / I seem them here, for me and you / And I think to myself: / "What A Wonderful Pre-Packaged Asian-Style Salad from Loblaw's Grocery."
T-Rex: Man, *I* did WAY better than that!!

DIFFERENT WAYS TO TELL SOMEONE THEY ARE COMEDIANS WHO ARE INCORRECT??

DIFFERENT WAYS TO TELL SOMEONE THEY ARE COMEDIANS WHO ARE INCORRECT??
";
Narrator: DIFFERENT WAYS TO TELL SOMEONE THEY ARE WRONG COMICS WARNING: use only when somebody is DEFINITELY not correct right now

T-Rex: Yes! This will be handy for me, because people is sometimes wrong!

Narrator: THE "HEY DID YOU SEE THAT MOVIE" APPROACH
Dromiceiomimus: T-Rex, all I'm saying is that I can be just as "manly" as I am now if I don't go "extreme baseball skydiving" with you.
T-Rex: Hey, have you seen the movie "Boy, is Dromiceiomimus ever wrong."? It's- uh, It's pretty convincing.

Narrator: THAT ONE'S PRETTY FUN. YOU GET TO MAKE UP DIFFERENT MOVIE TITLES. FUN TIMES

Narrator: THE DIRECT APPROACH
Utahraptor: I think maybe there are other options!
Narrator: THIS ONE ISN'T SO FUNNY ACTUALLY

Narrator: YOU CAN ALSO TRY USING BODY LANGUAGE
T-Rex: That sounds like a GREAT idea! Now I'll be backing away from you with my arms held up in a "don't shoot" position.
Mugger #1: Guys! I think he's using body language to criticize our idea!!
Mugger #2: Let's mug him anyway!

i got many emails yesterday with the tip of scaling up the periods and commas. kids today! WHEN WE WERE KIDS, WE JUST MESSED WITH MARGINS AND USED BOOKMAN OLD STYLE, ON ACCOUNT OF HOW IT WAS HECKUVA WIDE

i got many emails yesterday with the tip of scaling up the periods and commas. kids today! WHEN WE WERE KIDS, WE JUST MESSED WITH MARGINS AND USED BOOKMAN OLD STYLE, ON ACCOUNT OF HOW IT WAS HECKUVA WIDE
";
T-Rex: Man, I don't need that acting job anyway! I can get on by my good looks and charm ANYWAY, and "essay writing tips" are easy.

T-Rex: Easy!

T-Rex: For Example, here's a tip! Maybe you could try understanding the topic at hand and expressing your views on it in a clear yet persuasive manner?
Dromiceiomimus: When I was in high school, I'd increase the font size on all my periods from 12 to 14, thereby extending my paper in a way that was very difficult to detect!
T-Rex: Dromiceiomimus! I am shocked!!

Utahraptor: Man, I just added "very" infront of my adjectives
T-Rex: What? For reals?

Utahraptor: Of course, it was a great way to extend the length of my essay, AND it made my points more emphatic. "Trees are tall and pretty" became "Trees are very tall and very very pretty. verily!"
T-Rex: What, you were The Mighty Thor?
Utahraptor: Only in essays, my friend! Only in essays

Narrator: LATER:
T-Rex: Hello, radio call in show? Did you know Utahraptor abused the word "very" in all his essays?
Radio: I've told you: this isn't an advice show! It's a show about VRs!
T-Rex: Okay but did you not here the rest of my question though?

victorians had a penchant for naked tableau: nude or topless women weren't allowed on stage, but there was a loophole that allowed them to be seen if they remained perfectly motionless. FACT OR FICTION??

victorians had a penchant for naked tableau: nude or topless women weren't allowed on stage, but there was a loophole that allowed them to be seen if they remained perfectly motionless. FACT OR FICTION??
";
T-Rex: Tableau vivant, or "tableau" is a form of theatre in which the actors strike a pose and then don't move! It's like a living picture. It is, in fact, French for "living picture".

T-Rex: And I am the king of tableau, my friends! Check it out:

T-Rex: ...TABLEAU!

Utahraptor: Um, you're not supposed to speak during tableau, T-Rex!
T-Rex: Beg pardon?

Utahraptor: It's motionless AND silent. Interestingly enough, it was favored by early art photographers, as they already needed their subjects to stay motionless for minutes at a time.
T-Rex: Huh. Interesting. Anyway. I'm still the best at tableau.

Narrator: MEANWHILE, IN THE UNIVERSE WHERE T-REX ACTUALLY IS THE BEST AT TABLEAU:
T-Rex: TABLEAU! (I must keep the other actors from discovering my secret to excellent tableau. It's a very competitive business)

t-rex was going to go with "dearie", but cartoon grandmothers laid their claim on THAT long ago

t-rex was going to go with "dearie", but cartoon grandmothers laid their claim on THAT long ago
";
T-Rex: Everyone knows I look forward to being an old man - that i vocet the cocietal get out of jail free card that being old gives you! People will say, "oh, don't mind T-Rex! He always pees on his neighbour's flowers."

T-Rex: "But it's because he's OLD"

T-Rex: But I think my issue is that while I can see myself now (young, vibrant, effervescent) and imagine myself when I'm old (crotchety, petulant, charmingly belligerent), I don't see any in-between stages. The day i start going around with a walker is the day I finally become and old man, and that sucks! That means I'm old as soon as my body's old, and it's way too late to fully enjoy it then.

Utahraptor: Don't tell me you're planning to become prematurely old
T-Rex: It is now my stated intention!!

T-Rex: And i'm going to start by calling everyone "my boy". How's it going, my boy?
Utahraptor: I'm not your boy.
T-Rex: My boy, when you're my age, you get to call all sorts of things all sorts of things!
Utahraptor: You're creeping me out. IT DOESN'T WORK IF YOU'RE NOT OLD.

T-Rex: My boy, my boy, my boy. Myy boyyyyyyyy