Result page: << 1 2 3 4 >>

• Goats comic strip from February / 26 / 2003: resurrection (and the twix saga, pt. 4) (11)

  "The small town below us used to be filled with cheerful villagers, going about their dreary lives with their Sony Walkmen and their sugarless gum," Mendel continued. "But over the years, they have slowly been drawn into a cult... A cult based on the worship of a zombie who promotes the practice of ritual cannibalism."
  "You mean Catholics?" I asked. "No, not Catholics," Mendel responded. "These cultists are even worse. They make Catholics look like small potatoes. I admit that I am uncertain as to where they procure the potato costumes from, and clueless as to how they coerce the Catholics to wear them, however. But that is unimportant."
  "If I am to help you revive your friend, I will need you to go into the town below, infiltrate the cultists, kidnap their zombie leader, and bring him back to me. We will need the zombie to achieve our goal. It is unlikely that you will survive, but if you do, please bring back some Diet Pepsi. I am very thirsty."
  

  http://www.goats.com/archive/030226.html

• Goats comic strip from February / 28 / 2003: resurrection (and the twix saga, pt. 4) (12)

  Look, it's pretty obvious where this is going. Lori is obviously the zombie cult leader. You infiltrated the cult, fought off their battalion of evil zombie corn dog warriors, and captured her in a magical net made from the golden locks of Ann Landers. So, in the interests of time and sanity, can we just pick up the story there?
  You selfish, cold-hearted bastard, you've made him cry. / I... *sniff* I just wanted to tell a story...
  I can't believe this. / It's okay, Diablo. Take your time. / The corn-dog battle... it was *sniff* glorious... / Were the corn dogs beautiful?
  

  http://www.goats.com/archive/030228.html

• Goats comic strip from March / 05 / 2003: resurrection (and the twix saga, pt. 4) (14)

  "This vial contains all the vital zombie humours you'll need to reanimate your fishy friend," Mendel said as he passed me the test tube. "I've renoodled the proportions I've extracted from your zombie friend to compensate for the brain frenzy and to boost their efficiency, of course."
  "And as for you, my dark temptress," he said to Lori, "are you sure you won't reconsider my generous offer?" "Perhaps some day," she answered. I never did find out what Mendel was referring to, but it probably had absolutely nothing to do with DIRTY, DIRTY SEX.
  "Well, normally at this point, I would double-cross you or something, but I'm feeling pretty good. You're all free to go," Mendel said, and sent us on our way with some Cheese 'n' Cracker Snack Packs (the kind with the little red plastic stick that you can use to smear the cheese on the crackers).
  

  http://www.goats.com/archive/030305.html

• Goats comic strip from October / 30 / 2000: evil in the air (10)

  SHE'S HERE! / SHE'S HERE!
  Okay, everybody... get to your stations. And get ready to kick some ZOMBIE ASS.
  

  http://www.goats.com/archive/001030.html

• Goats comic strip from January / 24 / 2000: neil and bob's big adventure (14)

  ...so she left me a message asking if I wanted to go to dinner. / Wow. You gonna go?
  Nah. I mean... she's a zombie now. / Since when can you afford to have standards?
  Something's humping my arm. / Oh, so zombies are beneath you, but sex dwarves are okay?
  

  http://www.goats.com/archive/000124.html

• Goats comic strip from January / 05 / 2001: megan (2)

  So you don't have a boyfriend, you're not psychotic, and you like Gilliam movies. / Yes on all counts.
  And you're not a zombie, you don't have feet growing out of your face, and you don't have sexual relationships with musical instruments. / Yes.
  I don't get it. So what is wrong with you? / Sounds like I should be asking that question.
  

  http://www.goats.com/archive/010105.html

• Goats comic strip from October / 03 / 2003: loose ends (9)

  So you're saying Fish is immortal. / Musta been that zombie goop we fed him.
  He can't be invulnerable. What if he was eaten by a cat? / Well, yes, then he'd be a snack. At which point the cat itself would most likely become immortal.
  

  http://www.goats.com/archive/031003.html

• Goats comic strip from November / 17 / 1999: help wanted (1)

  Whatcha doin'? / Writing help-wanted ad for new bartender. No more lazy zombie waitress. We hire hard-working insomniac.
  Can I help? / Sure, fine. Chicken can help.
  You left out "Nice Ass." / No, look, right under "Huge Rack."
  

  http://www.goats.com/archive/991117.html

• Goats comic strip from October / 27 / 2000: evil in the air (9)

  Okay, everyone, you know the drill... when the zombie enters, take cover and place your head between your legs. Or your nearest neighbor's legs.
  BOOM
  She won't be getting in through the bathroom. / Excellent work.
  

  http://www.goats.com/archive/001027.html

• Goats comic strip from January / 25 / 2005: return of the chaos pope (14)

  How is he? / Still unconscious. But take a look behind his dorsal fin.
  Those goggles were plugged into this port. It seems to be surgically grafted into Fish's brain.
  You're joking. / Fish is an immortal zombie cyborg USB 1.1 host device.
  

  http://www.goats.com/archive/050125.html

Result page: << 1 2 3 4 >>

[ browse the archives of goats | jump to a random episode | help transcribe | search for [zombie] in other comic series ]
[ want a search engine like this for your own comic? ]

powered by ohnorobot. © 2006 ryan north. Logo by david hellman. hosted by dumbrella hosting.
Comic transcriptions © their respective owners!