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Oh Goddess -- please just don't zap us to the BARNEY universe -- / You said it! / This should be interesting. / No kidding. |
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Doesn't that girl remind you of your sister Cynthia? / A little -- yeah. / Do you hear something? / You mean the dragon? / I guess that would be it. / You do realize that the both of you are trespassing -- so please move along -- no gawking at the damsel or you will be a charcoal briquette. / It's not entirely my fault I got captured by the dragon. He said he had a beemer. / Sigh |
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You do remind me of my half-sister -- Cynthia. / Half-sister? Did a dragon eat part of her? / She's Cynthia. / HELLO??!! Am I still here or did I suddenly turn invisible?! / The girl is bait for my favorite luncheon meat -- knights in shining armor. / Now move along before my meal gets here! / NO! We're going to rescue this girl and you're never going to hurt anyone again! |
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NOW SEE HERE!! I make it a practice not to fight LITTLE GIRLS -- but they do make good appetizers. / Hey! / Chelsea! / I don't think you understand who I am! I'm a witch -- fully capable for taking care of myself and my friends! / Just -- uh -- put me down and we'll get to it! / Put you down? Now what makes you think I should do that? |
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If you're soooo capable then you should be able to beat the stuffings out of me where you are. / Now leave before I make you into a sand-WITCH. / This is as gross as that joke! / Uh-oh. / Oh what the hell! / Gulp! |
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Nummy! That was tasty -- although a little hairier than I would have thought. / I might as well finish this doubel appetizer -- 'ceot this time it'll be -- / ROASTED! / Ka-BOOM! |
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Awww -- I kind of liked that dragon -- even if he was going to eat a knight. / He ate my friend! / Your friend is quite alright -- somewhere. / Hey! You're the guy from the lizard rock people planet. / I -- I think I'm over here. / CHELSEA!! Are you okay?! What happened? Why did the dragon explode? / I -- I remember changing into the panther and then just wanting out -- I guess I got out. / The power that is deep within you destroyed the dragon -- it is a power that forever grows. As you can see the portals no longer drain you. / Oh -- yeah. / Why is he here? Do you think he can help with this dragon dippity doo in my hair? / ? / I've come to send you home as promised. / No, really -- it will work this time. |
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You have to go now? Rats -- I really wanted you to meet my family. You'd especially like my sisters -- well HALF-sisters actually. / HALF-sisters? / Although one of them is a real bitch if you ask me -- anywho -- at least let me show you my gratitude by granting you each a wish. / A wish?? / A wish?? / Yeah, I'm Thalia and I'm the magic princess around these parts. |
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Now wait a minute! If you're some MAGIC princess -- then how come you were captured by that dragon? / Wellll -- red dragons are pretty powerful in the magic department -- besides my magic is kind of lame compared to my sisters anyway. / But I can still do some things. I can do clothes easy -- REAL clothes. / And you don't even turn into pumpkins after midnight! HEE! / Whoa! |
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I suppose it's safe to say that you -- couldn't remove my curse. / Sorry. I would if I could, but removing curses and other spells is beyond me. / I guess world peace is out of the question? / Oh that's easy. All you have to do is get rid of the need for money, land and lawyers. |
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Do you want a puppy or a kitten. I can't make bunnies -- they kind of explode about a hour later. / I can make fish talk, but they really don't have much to say, so that's kind of bleh. / Oh! Oh! -- I can make a flower blooom, the ocean turn orange and I can make people ticklish who aren't. / Oh really? -- Then make her ticklish -- she's always ganging up on me. / I want a suit of armor. |
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I can't believe you make me ticklish. / I didn't. Thalia did. / You wished it. / I was just evening the odds -- How do you like your kitty? / He OR SHE may not be world peace -- but she'll certainly do. / She's -- she's not going to talk or fly around or anything freaky like that is she? / I don't know. Ask her. |
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Okay little blue budda -- let's go -- home. / Oh God -- what freak show are we in now? / It's the Cat's Cradle! / Hey you can't have thet cat in here! / Why not? I think she's kind of CUTE and CUDDLY -- I say we let her stay. This is the CAT'S Cradle after all. / Liz!! / Raven! / Oooooh, this must be Chelsea. Raven's told me all about you. / Not everything -- I hope. / Well girls I'm on next -- get ready for one hell of an experience. / You think we can survive another hell of an experience? / Sure. |
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Thank you guys for the veggie pizza! / The least we could do after such a killer show! / Merci! / You come back here! / Raven tells me that you're a witch. / Uh -- / I -- uh -- dabble a bit. / Mmm hmmm. I dabble too. / YAWN! I hate to break up this girlfest, but we're hitting ATLANTA tomorrow night and a girl's got to get SOME rest. / Don't do anything I would do. / Liz is great. / Yeah she is. / I think she likes you. / Hush. / By the way, how did you get the money for the pizza? Heh -- magic money? / Uh -- actually I portalled home while I was in the bathroom back at the Crade and got some cash -- / YOU WHAT!? You portaled home? Chelsea -- you could have been stuck in the LEAVE IT TO BEAVER universe or -- worse! / Once we got to our true destination the portal storm was over. / Oh. / Still -- how do we really KNOW we're in the right -- universe? / We'll just have to wait and find out. / Won't we. |
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Do you want to come in? / That is quite the question now isn't it? Should I come inside to the air conditioned comfort of this home, snuggle on Miss Chelsea's bed and dream away the hours -- / -- or should I stay in the out of doors and enjoy this beautiful summer day, made especially by the Goddess -- or -- / Never ask a cat what it wants -- it doesn't know. / Slam! |
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Just why is MY name on MY food dish? Can you humans not distinguish your own dishes from mine? / Is this some precautionary measure you have set for yourself? / Not at all -- because I can fill my OWN dish. / If this were Ancient Rome I could have you put to death for a remark like that! |
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Miss Chelsea asked me if I thought she looked fat -- / I said yes. / Go get 'im! |
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I reckon you heard about the little kitten in Missouri. They put it -- on a grill. I just don't understand some people. / I heard. / Part of me wants to hunt down that bastard and just -- let loose -- / But mostly I just want to -- well -- / Hey! What did I do?! / Hee Hee. |
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And another thing -- are we to choose between safety and freedom now? You remember what Ashcroft said -- / "To those who scare peace-loving people with phantoms of lost liberty, my message is this: Your tactics only aid terrorists." / That's bullshit! Hell, why do we even bother having a constitution?!! / She's been watching Donahue. |
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You've been around for a while. / A while. / What should I do about Chelsea? / Leave town. / I'm serious. / As am I. / I didn't mean to hit her. I was -- under a spell. / And Henry the Eighth was framed. / Are you going to insult me ALL day? / Are you going to sit here ALL day? |
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I spoke with Master Jubal today. He claims that he did not intend to strike you -- that he was under a spell. / He was -- it was the spell Rose put on him -- something about blaming me for all his troubles. / But the things he said -- that I hurt him when I left for New York -- that was true. I did hurt him -- I can't blame him for being mad -- even if it was a spell -- but -- / I think I hurt him more than I realized. / We must be cruel, only to be kind -- I once said to the Bard. / YOU helped Shakespeare write his plays? I find that hard to swallow. / It was only the one line. I said it to him after I had chewed on all of his quills. / Sebastian -- you're a butt. |
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Friend of yours? / With all the things you've seen THAT scared you? / I'm entitled. / It's a shame your sister couldn't come with us -- especially since she invited us out here to Hollywood, Californ-ie. / WOULDN'T come is more like it -- honestly could you see CORRINE in a touristy place like this? / Well -- maybe if they remake Dracula's Daughter -- right? / Right Chelsea? CHELSEA? |
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Someone to bother you Madam. / I'm certain of that -- who is -- / Oh it's you -- down the hall you came, turn left, left again -- don't make a mess. / What? No. / Chelsea's been kidnapped!! She's gone!! / And? / AND?! And you're her sister! You've got to help me find her -- you've GOT to help! / GOT TO? I -- I swear if this isn't on the up and up -- if Snow White's locked herself in some turista powder room -- I swear I will send you both packing myself! / I -- I checked everywhere. I -- she's gone. |
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You came HERE? All of Hollywood you came here. Jesus -- Chri -- / I like the old monster movies -- I'm sure Chelsea was humoring me. / Ya think? / She was standing right here and all of a sudden she was gone. / Perhaps she portaled somewhere more exciting -- like a tax audit. / Wait a minute -- I know that symbol. / That -- that wasn't there -- before. / A group of meddling kids by the name of Bastion Investigations -- never ran into them personally -- but I do hear things. / They have a dog and red-head who looks like buffy? / Miracle of miracles geekboy -- you may have actually stumbled on to something. |
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HEY! There's no shifting in here! / BEST! / Grrrrrrrrr / J-J-Jesus -- Mel-l-l-l -- the guy's name is BEST -- Gordan Best. He's at the Roosevelt Hotel doing some ghostbusting or some such -- no big secret to anyone -- ak -- / Uh -- / Hush. / He better be there Blane -- or I'll be back fur and all -- no matter what Kev says. / Come on geekboy. Let's go see Marilyn Monroe. / Huh? / Marilyn's ghost supposedly haunts this place -- perhaps if we ask her nicely she'll tell us who this BEST character is and what he has to do with my sister. / Oh, humor -- ar, ar uh -- ar. |
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Ahhh I see we're not the only ones invited to this little get together. Is this the rest of the Scooby Gang? / Yeah I'm Velma. We'll ask the questions here -- little lady. / You're new to the group. The hair, the tattoos -- so much energy surging through such a little body -- I would have heard of you. / Do you always have to piss people off the first time you meet them? / Yes. / Hey! We can all be friends! I bet all my bionic woman tapes that you guys are looking for someone who's lost too! / In other words -- does THIS look familiar? |
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So the question is -- what does Gordan and your sister have in common that would make somebody interested? / So -- what's this dimwit of yours like? / Best is kind of a jerk, but he's a pro all the way. / Hmmmm -- that describes me -- Chelsea's more like -- well -- / Like you -- the power -- the demeanor -- the Little Girl Lost look -- / BAIT!! Somebody's using our guy as bait! / And they want little lollipop here -- who I gather is immune to sneak attacks. / Well -- then let's get out there and find my girl!! / Please? |
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Not safe for me? This must be a pretty big BOOGIE. / She is -- Lilith Borgia, that was her stage name, came to the hills in Nineteen and Eleven. She was something of an enigma -- part succabus and part psychic vampire. This Lilith devoured the hopes and dreams of the young -- desperate for stardom. / Hollywoodland, as it was called, was the perfect place for her. / It still is. / And why haven't I heard of THIS Lilith? / She did not want you to hear of her. / I don't care what kind of BOOGIE this is. We're going after Best. / The same goes for my sister. / Very well -- you were warned. |
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Our guests have arrived my pet. / GOOD! I think it's about time I furnished some serious PAYBACK to my dear -- sister. / Oh no -- my pet. She will make such a lovely addition to our family -- as will the young girl, Cree. No harm must come to either. / As you wish. I just -- I'll need to kill some -- thing soon. Kitty gets hungry. / The lawman Morgan -- kill him or leave him to me. It does not matter which. / -- But whatever you do -- make certain you KILL the one you call JUBAL -- kill him quick -- / He is a danger to us all. |
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Your girlfriend here -- she seems -- to be -- / The aggressive type. / Sometimes -- / Come inside Cree. I want you to meet someone. She's -- she's absolutely wonderful. / Step aside. / He's under some kind of spell -- we'll need to -- / Welcome to my home my loves. Come inside and -- be with me. / Ahh, my family. |
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