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| 00001: PSA | Now to Tom with this week's public service announcement, brought to you by Nilk. It's Milk! With Metal! / Thank you Cindy. This week's message: do not attempt to live on the sun. / Artist Rendering / You will die. / Also not recommended: Arkansas. http://onehourparkingshow.com/?p=9 |
| 00002: God Uses GPS | God gave the Israelites manna. / And God gave them the commandments. / Moses staring up at God. God looking back.
/ What? / You know, what would be nice?
/ Of course I do, I'm God: real men don't use maps.
/ Asshole. / Jesus never a big fan of directions either. http://onehourparkingshow.com/?p=10 |
| 00003: Y2K8 Bug | Clock Reads 11:59
/ Oh God! Oh God! We're all going to die. / Clock Reads 12:00
/ Two people staring at each other. / One of these years! One of these years! http://onehourparkingshow.com/?p=11 |
| 00004: Intelligent Race | Your mission is to scour the universe for other intelligent species and to establish ourselves in this grand cosmos. You brave its will be remembered as heroes. / You know what would be hilarious?
/ What?
/ If we screwed with their livestock. / Crop circles being the Alien Fraternity initiation ritu... http://onehourparkingshow.com/?p=12 |
| 00005: The Toast is Truth | The APS390x Weighted Companion Toaster. / And you make some good toast. For the people who are still hungry. http://onehourparkingshow.com/?p=13 |
| 00006: Career Counseling | So Timmy what do you want to do? / I don't know. / Well, what are you good at? / Masturbating. / Some people think honesty is a virtue; it's my firm believe that it just leads to an increase in porn stars. http://onehourparkingshow.com/?p=14 |
| 00007: Campaign Slogan | wikimerica
/ America is an open source project. / I swear it isn't filler art. http://onehourparkingshow.com/?p=15 |
| 00008: A Night Out With the Gods | [[God and Mrs. God getting ready for the evening]]
/ Mrs. God: Ok dear, I'm ready to go. Did you take care of the kid?
/ God: I took him to the babysitter already. / [[Jesus hanging on the cross]] / {{Alt text: Does this mean we're off the babysitter list?}} http://onehourparkingshow.com/?p=16 |
| 00009: Philosophy Through the Ages | The unexamined life is not worth living for a human being. - Socrates / I think, therefore I am. - Descartes / God is dead. -Nietzsche / I like big butts and I cannot lie. -Sir Mix-a-Lot / {{Alt Text: I can't define porn, but I know it when I see it. - Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart }} http://onehourparkingshow.com/?p=17 |
| 00010: On Behalf of Myself and Men Everywhere | Fuck you Mr. Darcy / {{Alt Text: We won't stand for your oppression of our low standards of conduct anymore.}} http://onehourparkingshow.com/?p=18 |
| 00011: Mission Anonymous I | Which one doesn't belong?
/ Jesus, Muhammad, Xenu, The Beatles, Thor, The Mystical Pink Unicorn, Richard Dawkins, Jim Jones, Haile Selassie, Zeus / {{Alt Text: Answer: Xenu}} http://onehourparkingshow.com/?p=19 |
| 00012: Mission Anonymous II | This is blasphemy! This is Scientology!
/ Scientology? THIS IS ANONYMOUS! / {{alt text: [This alt text no longer available due to a copyright claim by the Church of Scientology]}} http://onehourparkingshow.com/?p=20 |
| 00013: Real Answers | I once asked my teacher why we needed to read when t.v. Was the future. She gave me some cliché line about a “good book” and I called her stupid. / [[Teacher looking at kid sitting in desk]]
/ Kid: You're stupid! / Coming this summer, Kid Nation 2: Now with stereotypes!
/ Annoying Guy, Dumb Kid, Sue... http://onehourparkingshow.com/?p=21 |
| 00014: Life Goals | Name _______
/ Essay Test #1
/ Essay Prompt: Write about one of your life goals and how you will plan to accomplish it. / Chalk Board: Barn Burning, a how to guide for undergraduates. / My life goal is to have a Wikipedia page written about me. / {{Alt Text: Other goals include being the largest cardboard... http://onehourparkingshow.com/?p=22 |
| 00015: Protip | Protip
/ [[Covered Wagon floating across river]]
/ Caulk Wagon and Float It. / {{alt text: I am a Professional Oregon Trail Player.}} http://onehourparkingshow.com/?p=23 |
| 00016: Education | See Spot / See Spot Run. / See Spot Get Run Over. / {{alt text: I believe in breaking their delusions of reality early.}} http://onehourparkingshow.com/?p=24 |
| 00017: Presidential Nominee Part I | The Global Association for the Advancement of Undead People is proud to announce this years presidential nominee for the Undead Party. / Zombie Lincoln / {{alt text: Sources indicate that Zombie Reagan has accepted for the VP bid.}} http://onehourparkingshow.com/?p=25 |
| 00018: The More You Know | The difference between a computer and your girlfriend. / Girlfriend: Gets mad at finding your porn. / Computer: Finds you porn / {{alt text: Look Dave, I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over. Look, I even... http://onehourparkingshow.com/?p=26 |
| 00019: Global Warming | Sometimes I think they just don't get it. I'm willing to let the penguins suffer. / {{alt text: I have reasonable expectations of Congress to sit around and do nothing on the issue.}} http://onehourparkingshow.com/?p=27 |
| 00020: Presidential Nominee Part II | Colonel O'Neill
/ Mr. MacGyver / Vote Duct Tape in '08 / {{alt text: It's Duct Tape you can believe in.}} http://onehourparkingshow.com/?p=28 |
| 00021: Trolling | Things I Pretend I Do: / Send encrypted e-mails to friends in the middle east about great vacation destinations. / Hey Akmed, our friend in the states recommended we visit some petting zoo in Wisconsin. / {{alt text: It's clearly time to start a flame war with the government. }} http://onehourparkingshow.com/?p=29 |
| 00022: One Hour Parking Show Presents Shakespeare’s Hamlet | Somebody is dead
/ Ghost: Revenge his foul and most unnatural murder.
/ Hamlet: Murder!
/ Ghost: Murder most foul... / Famous Line
/ Hamlet: To be or not to be / Everybody dies / {{alt text: Assignment: write a four to six page essay on how symbolism and the themes of this strip work to create the meaning... http://onehourparkingshow.com/?p=30 |
| 00023: Child's Play | Dad: What are you guys up to?
/ Kid 1: We're Playing Lawyer.
/ Kid 2: I'm Jack Thompson.
/ Kid 1: And we're the Florida Bar Association.
/ Kid 2&3: We're holding a disbarment hearing. / {{alt text: Suck it Jack.}} http://onehourparkingshow.com/?p=31 |
| 00024: This Is Madness | This is a diplomatic mission to Alderaan!
/ [[Princess Leia kicking Darth Vader down]] / {{alt text: I can no longer watch movies the same way again.}} http://onehourparkingshow.com/?p=32 |
| 00025: Evangelizing | Be touched by his noodly appendage / {{alt text: Don't worry, I wore full pirate regalia while drawing this.}} http://onehourparkingshow.com/?p=33 |
| 00026: 2008 A Heaven Odyssey | God: Sorry to bother you Mr. Clarke, but I seem to have a small problem and perhaps you can help.
/ Arthur C. Clarke: Sure, anything to help. / God: Thanks.
/ God: Open the pearly gates Hal.
/ H.A.L. 9000: I'm sorry God, I'm afraid I can't do that. / {{alt text: R.I.P. Mr. Clarke, I hope your elevator... http://onehourparkingshow.com/?p=34 |
| 00027: The Movies | He escaped from New York. He escaped from L.A. This summer Snake Plissken will escape from his greatest challenge yet; to travel back in time and escape from the most inescapable prisoner of war camp in all Germany. This summer Kurt Russell is Snake Plissken in Escape From Stalag 13. / {{alt text:... http://onehourparkingshow.com/?p=35 |
| 00028: Labor Dispute | In the beginning God used non union labor to create the Earth / {{alt text: He even sent his only son as a non-union carpenter.}} http://onehourparkingshow.com/?p=36 |
| 00029: T-Rex | {{alt text: Some dinosaurs are just more civilized.}} http://onehourparkingshow.com/?p=37 |
| 00030: Valkyrie | Soldier: Guten Tag Her Hitler. / Hitler: Was ist das?
/ Soldier: Es ist ein E-Meter. / Hitler: Nein! Werden Sie meinen thetans nicht empfangen! / {{alt text: Heil The Marcab Confederacy!}} http://onehourparkingshow.com/?p=38 |