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| Nukees - Tuesday, January 21, 1997 | Gav: [[thinking]] Geez, I hate it when some lone drunk tries to strike up a conversation.
/ Drunk: So, you must go to Cal? / Gav: [[thinking]] Fortunately, I know the perfect way to kill any conversation.
/ Drunk: So, like, what's yer major? / Gav: Nuclear Engineering / Gav: [[thinking]] I think I'd... http://nukees.com/d/19970121.html |
| Nukees - Thursday, January 23, 1997 | Shea: I gotta motor, babe. Time for class. See you tonight? / Danny: Say Gav, how'd you ever get a cutie like Shea?
/ Gav: My dashing good looks and charm. / Danny: No no, I mean in the real world?
/ Gav: Oh, that. Well, see we have an uncanny understanding of each other. You have to know what a... http://nukees.com/d/19970123.html |
| Nukees - Tuesday, January 28, 1997 | Gav: So I said "sort of like bugs, huh?"
/ Shea: You're so weird, Gav! / Shea: I know why, too! It's 'cuz you're from Los Angeles. You're all weird down there.
/ Gav: HEM / King Luca: BOW before me, plebians! I am King LUCA, your suzereign!
/ Gav: That's not true- / Shea: Luca's from L.A. too, isn't... http://nukees.com/d/19970128.html |
| Nukees - Thursday, January 30, 1997 | Voice on phone: Please leave your name and number after the tone... / Gav: [[reading]] confirmed the obse ... rate in neutron irradiated ... onally found, is attributed ... persed carbon from the mat ... arbide particle (M2,C6) ... ed precipitation. The ... barrier ...
/ Danny: Hey Gav, what are you... http://nukees.com/d/19970130.html |
| Nukees - Monday, February 3, 1997 | Box: Job prospects of the class of 2005 -- Migrant engineering labor
/ Man on truck: Okay, I need two Ph.D.'s and a Master's of Science for one day of Fortran coding!
/ Student: Stupid worthless Bachelor's degree... http://nukees.com/d/19970203.html |
| Nukees - Tuesday, February 4, 1997 | [[Danny is sitting in front of a computer. Gav is sitting in a chair with his back to Danny.]]
/ Danny: Hey, Gav, how can I make my own webpage?
/ Gav: Well, first you need to learn "HTML" / Gav: Then you can design some graphics and eventually add "cgi programs" and "Java"
/ Danny: Ah, that is too complex.... http://nukees.com/d/19970204.html |
| Nukees - Thursday, February 6, 1997 | Danny: Look, Gav, I bought a compact disc! / Gav: Danny, You don't own a CD player.
/ Danny: Now I can list my CDs on my web page! / Gav: "CD," not "CDs." You own ONE CD!
/ Danny: [[Sitting a computer monitor]] Look at the shiny background on my music page. It looks like my CD!
/ Gav: These are Gregorian... http://nukees.com/d/19970206.html |
| Nukees - Tuesday, February 11, 1997 | Gav: I GOTTA think of something to give Shea for Valentine's Day.
/ King Luca: Send her a photo of King Luca! It drives the women crazy! / Gav: I'm serious, Luca.
/ King Luca: KING Luca!
/ Gav: Shea means more to me than even Pixie Stix[tm]! I gotta get her something that reflects that! / Gav: The problem... http://nukees.com/d/19970211.html |
| Nukees - Friday, February 14, 1997 | [[Gav's Valentine poem]]
/ I want to write your name
/ With a laser on the moon,
/ Litter leaflets of your fame
/ from Qatar to Cancun,
/ Carve your mug on Rushmore
/ In place of Washington,
/ for you, I'd start world war
/ If I had Plutonium.
/ But I don't have the power
/ To honor such a face,
/ Can't make the... http://nukees.com/d/19970214.html |
| Nukees - Tuesday, February 18, 1997 | [[Gav sits working at a computer. Danny walks up behind him pulling a Radio Flyer wagon]]
/ Danny: I got that "STUFF" you wanted, Gav!
/ Gav: What stuff? / Danny: For valentine's day! You were going to destroy the world for your girlfrend!
/ Gav: Valentine's day was last friday, DANNY. I wrote her a poem. / [[Danny... http://nukees.com/d/19970218.html |
| Nukees - Friday, February 21, 1997 | Danny: Well, Gav, I got rid of that Plutonium. / Gav: Danny, you can't just "get rif" of Plutonium! It has to be "properly" disposed of. Where'd you get it, anyway? / Danny: Helen, the Russian exchange student, gave it to me. She said their government gives her 1000 frequent flyer miles for every kilogram... http://nukees.com/d/19970221.html |
| Nukees - Tuesday, February 25, 1997 | Gav: Helen, what's this I hear about you giving Danny ten kilograms of Plutonium? / Helen: Well, see, back in my home country of Russia, we have far too much Plutonium left over from the cold war. They awards perks for sneaking the stuff out of the country. Five more kilos and I get a free t-shirt! / Gav:... http://nukees.com/d/19970225.html |
| Nukees - Thursday, February 27, 1997 | Shea: Gav, are you sure your job is safe? All this talk about radioactivity makes me nervous. / Gav: Of course it's safe! Radiation is a very natural thing. It comes in cosmic rays, granite, sunlight, bananas... Even people are radioactive! / Shea: Really?
/ Gav: Yeah! In fact, you get slightly irradiated... http://nukees.com/d/19970227.html |
| Nukees - Tuesday, March 4, 1997 | Gav: Hello? Consumer complaints? I'm afraid I may have a "skunky" batch of your beverage! / Gav: It has no "born on" date! How can I be assured of its freshness? / Gav: Uh huh? Yes, I understand. I don't get a free replacement, then? What if I found a mouse in a bottle? HELLO? / Shea: I told you it... http://nukees.com/d/19970304.html |
| Nukees - Thursday, March 6, 1997 | [[Closeup of Gav in classroom pose]]
/ Professor: Now if you take the Laplace transform in Euclidean phase space... / Professor: ...should Apophis, the Serpent, disrupt the underworld journey of the solar barque at any time of the amduat, all would revert back to undifferentiation... / Professor: [[Arabic]] / [[Gav... http://nukees.com/d/19970306.html |
| Nukees - Tuesday, March 11, 1997 | Gav: Hi Danny, what're ya doing? / Danny: I'm a physics TA this semester. I am preparing a homework solution set.
/ Gav: You typed up all these equations on a computer? That's so anal! / Gav: Wait a min - you're WHITING OUT all the stray photocopy marks?!? That's the most obsessive-compulsive thing... http://nukees.com/d/19970311.html |
| Nukees - Thursday, March 13, 1997 | Danny: Hey Gav, is this walkman that I borrowed from you modular? / Gav: DANNY!
/ Danny: Do not worry! I will fix it... / Gav: You know, Danny, there are certain phrases in our language - such as that one - that simply cannot imply a good outcome. Do you know what I mean? / Danny: Wow! This really... http://nukees.com/d/19970313.html |
| Nukees - Tuesday, March 18, 1997 | Gav: It says here that web-based businesses and the US government are having a spat over Internet encryption standards. / Gav: Most businesses favour a seventeen thousand bit key, based on factoring large prime numbers, the trillions digits of Pi, and random passages from Piers Anthony novels. / Danny:... http://nukees.com/d/19970318.html |
| Nukees - Thursday, March 20, 1997 | Gav: Hey Shea, come here and lookit all this email I just got. This one is a warning about the "Ex-Files" computer virus, but this other email says that the warning is a hoax. / Gav: Now I've got a third message that says the second email was a hoax written by the hacker that wrote the virus.
/ Shea:... http://nukees.com/d/19970320.html |
| Nukees - Tuesday, April 1, 1997 | Gav: Everyone hates the puke-orange walls in this department, Suzy Gee. I'm goint to repaint them.
/ Suzy Gee: Wait, Gav! You can't just pick any color yourself! / Suzy Gee: You have to get the color approved by the whole department!
/ Suzy Gee: Hallways have to be white!
/ Danny: Yeah! Paint it green!
/ King... http://nukees.com/d/19970401.html |
| Nukees - Thursday, April 3, 1997 | Suzy Gee: All right, Gav. If you're gonna paint the entire department, you've got to get proper approval. Contact the building manager.
/ Gav: The entire department? / Suzy Gee: You should coordinate and organize a concerted effort with the other seven departments in the building.
/ Gav: But I have TIME... http://nukees.com/d/19970403.html |
| Nukees - Tuesday, April 8, 1997 | Gav: Look at the instructions on this box of pop-tarts, Danny. It says "Microwave on high for 3 SECONDS!" / Danny: Three seconds?
/ Gav: Geez! What do you suppose would happen after a few minutes in there? / [[Gav and Danny cowering behind makeshift shielding]]
/ Shea: Hi guys! What are you doing?
/ Gav:... http://nukees.com/d/19970408.html |
| Nukees - Thursday, April 10, 1997 | Gav: How strange! I left this pop-tart in the microwave for five minutes and nothing happened! / Gav: Nothing!
/ Shea: It looks like it's shaking... / Gav: Oh well...
/ Shea: GAV! / Gav: Ah THAID ah cahn't fayl mah tong!
/ Gav: Thtop lathing at meh! http://nukees.com/d/19970410.html |
| Nukees - Tuesday, April 15, 1997 | Gav: So, engineer Tien is out and "German Studies" Berdahl is in. / Gav: Here, in an interview, he says he'll make up for his lack of scientific background by "surrounding myself with people smarter than me..." / Gav: "Fortunately, in my case, this isn't hard." / Danny: Sorta like our last "education... http://nukees.com/d/19970415.html |
| Nukees - Thursday, April 17, 1997 | [[Minesweeper Game Window]] / [[Minesweeper Game Window]] / [[Minesweeper Game Window]] / [[Data Plot Window]] / [[Minesweeper Game Solved]] / Danny: Okay, FIRST of all, how did you know your advisor was walking behind you just then and SECOND, how do you do that so fast?
/ Gav: You don't spend 8... http://nukees.com/d/19970417.html |
| Nukees - Tuesday, April 22, 1997 | Gav: Hey, Luca!
/ King Luca: KING Luca!
/ Gav: I need some money Danny owes me. Do you know where he is?
/ King Luca: Citizen Danny is at Livermore Lab. / King Luca: But you'll never get past security! He's working in the "green zone!"
/ Gav: Sure I will! I just need a stick... http://nukees.com/d/19970422.html |
| Nukees - Thursday, April 24, 1997 | Drunk loser bar geek: Hiya buddy! Do you go to Cal?
/ Gav: [[thinking]] Oh god, no! It's another drunk loser bar geek! / Drunk loser bar geek: [[rambling in background]] I'm an independent business man myself -- doing some recent work in recyclables and reclamation ... How about them st ... suits up... http://nukees.com/d/19970424.html |
| Nukees - Tuesday, April 29, 1997 | Gav: What the hell are you?
/ Figment of Gav's Imagination: You passed out! This is a dream sequence of sorts / Gav: Yes, that would explain the anvil and dancing beer
/ Figment of Gav's Imagination: It also means you can do anything you want! No consequences! No repercussions! / [[The dancing beer slips... http://nukees.com/d/19970429.html |
| Nukees - Thursday, May 1, 1997 | Figment of Gav's Imagination: I still don't think you get it, Gav! You've passed out in a bar. This is just a dream sequence. Anything you can imagine can happen! / Gav: Well, you're freaking me out. What the hell are you and why couldn't you have been Tori Amos?
/ [[Figment of Gav's Imagination goes... http://nukees.com/d/19970501.html |
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