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| Conspiracy | Michael: I can't believe you just blindly follow what they force feed you!
/ James: Wait, what? I'm just reading a book... / Michael: You're nothing but a sheep!
/ James: I'm a sheep?
/ Michael: With a labotomy! / Michael: They say jump you say how high! Would you believe the sea was made of brine if... http://michaelsexcitinglife.co.uk/index.php |
| Quest for Tea & Toast | Michael: Ah, time for a nice cup of tea and a round of toast! / Michael: Hang about! Where's all the bread at? / Michael: Not in here. / Michael: Fuck... / Michael: Has James eaten it all? Surely not. There was a whole loaf in here just a bit ago... / Michael: Oh wait, there it is. / Michael: Someone... http://michaelsexcitinglife.co.uk/index.php?date=2006-03-03 |
| Coffee | Ben's making dinner! / Michael: Hey Ben, do you want a cup of coffee? / Ben: No thanks Michael, I don't really like coffee all that much. / Michael: What you talking about? Of course you like coffee. It's ace! / Ben: Michael, the world isn't full of people that are EXACTLY the same as you. There... http://michaelsexcitinglife.co.uk/index.php?date=2006-03-09 |
| Ben's Time Machine | Ben: Hey Michael! Check this out! I bought it from the market. It's an actual, factual time machine! / Ben: Apparently you open up the lid and tell it what time you would like to visit, and as if by MAGIC it sends you there! / Michael: Dude, that is NOT a time machine, it's just a wicker box. / Michael:... http://michaelsexcitinglife.co.uk/index.php?date=2006-03-12 |
| Ben's Time Machine PT.2 | Ben: That Michael, always putting me down. Calling me names. I wish I could have thought of a classy comeback just then. Something that would have put him in his place. Wait, that's it! / Ben: Take me back... 2 MINUTES AGO! / And so, two minutes earlier...
/ Ben: Hey Michael! Check this out! I bought... http://michaelsexcitinglife.co.uk/index.php?date=2006-03-15 |
| James Doesn't Care About Michael's Life: Part One | James is watching the OC...
/ James: Oh God, no... please, no! / James: She loves you Seth- why would you go and cheat on her like that? Why? / Suddenly
/ Michael: Oh my God oh my God oh my God! / Michael: James you'll never guess what happened to me at work today! This girl came in and gave me her... http://michaelsexcitinglife.co.uk/index.php?date=2006-03-17 |
| James Doesn't Care About Michael's Life: Part Two | Michael: You're a cop? Well, that adds up. You are wearing aviator shades. But what you doing in my car? / Prendergast: Well I need your help. I've got a brand new lead on the old Von Peebles case.
/ Michael: Who's Von Peebles?
/ Prendergast: Oh, only the cold blooded killer that fucked up my life. Forever. / PrendergastL... http://michaelsexcitinglife.co.uk/index.php?date=2006-03-18 |
| James Doesn't Care About Michael's Life: Part Three | Michael: You... killed him?! Jesus Prendergast! He's already give you the information. Man, that's totally out of order. / Prendergast: Come on, let's go. We've gotta go find this 'Juan' the crack dealer. / Michael: Aw! But I need to go shopping for cereal! Why do I have to come? / Prendergast:... http://michaelsexcitinglife.co.uk/index.php?date=2006-03-19 |
| Watching a Hot Movie | Michael: Hey James, I'm going to work. / James: Okay Michael. Can you pick up a hot movie for us to watch later on? / Michael: Sure, sure... I'll get you a movie... one you'll love. For sure! heh heh. / And so, at Michael's place of work... / Michael: Ha ha... perfect! YOU'VE GOT MAIL! James will... http://michaelsexcitinglife.co.uk/index.php?date=2006-03-22 |
| Innocent Query | Michael: Ben... do you mind if I ask you a question? / Ben: Well... technically that WAS a question, but yeah, sure, go for it. / Michael: I was just wondering- if you accidently run over a cat in your car at about 3AM, on a housing estate, what would you do? You couldn't knock on all the doors to... http://michaelsexcitinglife.co.uk/index.php?date=2006-03-25 |
| Michael's Parents! | Michael: Hello Mom! Dad! I'm ho-o-ome! / Parents: Hello Michael! / Dad: Oooooh! Come look at this! It's AMAZING! / Dad: Look what we've done to your old bedroom! Since you don't live here anymore we've turned it into an office! Good, eh? / Michael: What the... / Michael: How could they do this?... http://michaelsexcitinglife.co.uk/index.php?date=2006-03-27 |
| Michael's Exciting Dog | Michael: Well, I've had a lovely time visiting my parents, but now I've got to head back to Manchester. It's been nice seeing you, dog. Stay fresh. / Michael: It's a shame the visit was so short, really. Maybe next time we can hang out some more together? Maybe go on some walks? / Maria: Michael -... http://michaelsexcitinglife.co.uk/index.php?date=2006-03-29 |
| April Fools! | Ben's pruning a plant! / Michael: Ben Ben Ben Ben Ben Ben!!! I just got off the phone with the POLICE!
/ Ben: Oh God! What is it Michael? / Michael: It's TERRIBLE! All your family have been killed in a car crash. And your girlfriend! And June Sarpong from Sunday morning television fame! It was a multiple... http://michaelsexcitinglife.co.uk/index.php?date=2006-03-31 |
| Multi-Ethnic Party | Michael: Hey Ben, I've been thinking recently about RACE. You know literally all of my friends are white? Isn't that bad? / Michael: No black people or Asians, they're all 100% white. I don't think I'm a racist. I'm pretty sure I'm not... but why don't I have any friends from other lands? It makes me... http://michaelsexcitinglife.co.uk/index.php?date=2006-04-03 |
| If These Walls Could Talk | Michael: #At the carwash! The carwash, yeah!# / James: Hallo Michael!
/ Michael: Hey James! What you been doing? / James: I've just watched a film called "If these walls could talk." It's a hard-hitting study of women's attitudes towards abortion over three decades, directed by Cher. / Michael: Mmm...... http://michaelsexcitinglife.co.uk/index.php?date=2006-04-06 |
| Suicide! Part One | James is having a lovely cup of coffee. Mmmmm... / Michael: Hey James! Oh man, you look terrible. What's the matter? / James: Nah, I'm okay. I'm just really tired. I need a good night's sleep. / Michael: Are you sure? I mean, seriously, you look terrible. Like, as if you're depressed or something. / James:... http://michaelsexcitinglife.co.uk/index.php?date=2006-04-08 |
| Suicide! Part Two | The next day...
/ James: Mmmm, lovely chops for dinner! / James: Get you bad boys in the oven- gonna make a feast out-a-you! / James: Hmm, what's going on? Bastard won't turn on. / James: Let's have a look in here. Maybe the pilot light's blocked or something. / Michael: James! What the hell are you... http://michaelsexcitinglife.co.uk/index.php?date=2006-04-10 |
| Suicide! Part Three | And then a knock at the door...
/ Michael: Ay up... / Prendergast: The name's Prendergast. L.A.P.D.
/ Michael: Oh, hi Prendy. How you doing? / Prendergast: Never mind that. Get your coat. I got a lead on the Von Peebles case. We gots to get down to the bus dep, pronto. Fuck up a guy or two. / Michael:... http://michaelsexcitinglife.co.uk/index.php?date=2006-04-13 |
| Suicide! Part Four | Prendergast: So you think your life's bad, do you? You think you got it tough, eh? / Prendergast: Well you don't even know the meaning of the word. / Prendergast: I've seen crack whores stabbing their unborn kids for kicks. / Prendergast: I've seen sick fucks selling their own sisters to pimps for... http://michaelsexcitinglife.co.uk/index.php?date=2006-04-15 |
| That's a Kids Film! | Michael: I have invented the most dope ass insult ever! / Michael: What you do is ask someone what their favourite film is and when they tell you reply “Really? isn’t that a kid’s film?" / Michael: The genius is that simply insulting someone’s film taste is not good enough. If someone says they are... http://michaelsexcitinglife.co.uk/index.php?date=2006-04-17 |
| Mr. Handman | Michael: Phewy! This 10 hour shift at the video shop is B to the Oring, yo? There must be something I can do to pass the time. / Michael: I’ve got it! I’ll resurrect my old childhood buddy, MR. HANDMAN! / Michael: Aw, this’ll be good. We used to have such great times together. He really is such a... http://michaelsexcitinglife.co.uk/index.php?date=2006-04-20 |
| Ethics | James: Hm... rice or pasta for dinner? Or maybe something completely different! / Suddenly...
/ Michael: James! I've got some important things to discuss with you right now! / Michael: I’ve been reading this AMAZING book about ethics and how right and wrong are both merely human constructs. That society... http://michaelsexcitinglife.co.uk/index.php?date=2006-04-22 |
| Ghost shop! | Michael: So, James, I quit my job at the video shop today. / James: Really? Why? I thought you loved that job! / Michael: Yeah, I liked it for a while, but then some seriously WEIRD shit started going down. / Michael: It all started when I was washing my hands in the backroom and the tap started... http://michaelsexcitinglife.co.uk/index.php?date=2006-04-23 |
| Prendergast | Prendergast: Once upon a time, I meant something. / Prendergast: I was a good cop, a friend, a husband, a father... So many things. / Prendergast: But all that’s gone now.The mayor told me to leave it alone. That Mario Von Peebles was too strong. That he had too many powerful allies who could make... http://michaelsexcitinglife.co.uk/index.php?date=2006-04-24 |
| Stereotype? What Stereotype? | Michael: hmm... Wonder what the kids are listening
/ to these days? / Michael: Oh, hey Prendergast! What you doing here? Are you undercover? / Prendergast: No I am not. / Prendergast: I’m actually just here to pick up this week’s issue
/ of ‘pony’ magazine. I always buy it. It’s what I do. / Michael:... http://michaelsexcitinglife.co.uk/index.php?date=2006-04-26 |
| Weather on the M6 | Michael: Urg, the M6 is such an ugly motorway! Especially today- the weather is so dull and overcast. I’ve never been so bored! / Michael: At least it’s stopped raining I guess. That’s one thing. / Michael: That’s a point: Isn’t it funny how the weather is always
/ either good or bad or average or... http://michaelsexcitinglife.co.uk/index.php?date=2006-04-27 |
| Testicular Cancer | Digging the garden. 4pm. / Michael: Hey Ben. So- guess what? i think I might have cancer o’ the balls. / Ben: Michael, that’s not a very funny thing to joke about mate. / Michael: Nah, I’m being for realz! The other day I noticed this lump at the base of my left ball. It was the first time I’ve ever... http://michaelsexcitinglife.co.uk/index.php?date=2006-04-28 |
| Ownership | James: ...and then Luke Skywalker said “not star whores, Star WARS!”
/ Ben: Ha ha ha! / Michael:Hey! James! That’s MY joke you bastard! / James: Right you are Michael. I do apolo- hey! Wait a minute! Isn’t that my jumper you’re wearing? / Michael: Er... um... yeah... maybe... but......you can’t get... http://michaelsexcitinglife.co.uk/index.php?date=2006-05-01 |
| Ben's New Club | James: Have you seen Ben at all today?
/ Michael:Nope I haven’t. / Suddenly...
/ Ben: Hi chaps! I’m home! / Michael: What the fuck’s happened to you? Why you wearing a suit, Ben? / Ben: Well, yesterday I met these nice Japanese chaps who are part of a lovely HOBBY AND GAMES club called the YAKUZA and... http://michaelsexcitinglife.co.uk/index.php?date=2006-05-03 |
| The Colin Clydesdale Conundrum Part One | Michael: I love working on my computer. I use it for everything! Writing, making music, listening to music, the internet, making comics... it really is my most treasured possession. By a long shot. / Michael: Man, it's 5am! I better get some sleep I guess. / Michael: Good night my darling. I'll miss... http://michaelsexcitinglife.co.uk/index.php?date=2006-05-04 |