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BV » Emo Pope [An Emo stlye Black Pope stands looking out with a blackened eye and shed tear] / Black Pope: ...why...
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Chapter 0: Genesis, Original Flynn [[Flynn and Nerdy Girl in the garden of Eden]] / {{title text: Chapter 0: Genesis, Original Flynn}}
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BV #10 All clear, Sir. Ready for your arrival. / Ok, here comes Raksha - be polite. / k... / scan scan scan bing / Make way for the dark majesty of the Lord High General of the Black Vatican, Lady Raksha - Defender of the Flock, Punisher of Balsphemies, Maker of Martyrs, Hammer of Heresy, Advisor to the Sable Primate and Dread Executrix of His Sinful Will! / Lady Raksha, this is Flynn, the new R&D Guy. / um... hi... (snickering) / Something amuses you, Mr. Flynn? / Um... you are just not what I pictured. You're a bit short for the "Hammer of Heresy." / shrrrrkk / I'm the perfect height to make you a eunuch. / Is she kidding? / Not even a little bit...
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Altar Boi Elsewhere in the Black Vatican, while Flynn is shown to his new laboratory, another employee receives a promotion... / Chief Altar Boy / Chief Alter Boi
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My God... This way, Mr. Flynn. / Um... it's just, "Flynn." / Since you'll be responsible for maintenance, repairs, and upgrades on my soldiers, I'll need to assign you a security clearance. Please place your forehead against the retinal scanner. / Yeah, about that... I think there's been a mistake here. I'm a tech, not a doctor. / We are 93% mechanical, Mr. Flynn. You and your staff will tend to the vast majority of our repairs. We do have a doctor on call who sees to the occasional 'flesh and blood' problem we might have. / Wha... How... Wher.... Ummm.... You're a cyborg!?! ... umm.... which bits are real? / Given what you know of His Sinfulness, Mr. Flynn, which parts do you think are still flesh? / So... the doctor on call is a gynecologist? / Naturally. His Sinfulness calls it "The 7% Solution." / My god, it's all full of... / End Chapter 0 - Genesis: Original Flynn
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Wii Jerk Shake your remote up and down to build up pressure. When Mario blows his...coke... the person whose... coke... shoots the farthest wins...
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Team Building [Nerdygirl and His Sinfulness stand in what looks like a commons room in front of coffee dispensers.] / HSBP: I’ve been thinking... we have so many recent converts and new employees, I think we need to have another team-building retreat! / Nerdygir: Sir, do I need to remind you of the “Paintball Incident?” / [Flashback--HS is standing outside with a paintball gun aimed and shooting at two men in the foreground, who are fleeing in terror.] / HSBP: What? It’s TOTALLY legal! / [Back to the commons room, HSBP and Nerdygir are now sitting down.] / HSBP: No, no... something that fosters fellowship, brotherhood, and camaraderie. Something like... that! / [HS points to a crudely written sign on the wall.] / [Closeup of sign reading: KARAOKE! Black Vatican Staff Drink FREE!!! Saterday Night!] / Nerdygirl: Yeah – because nothing builds esprit de corps like making an ass of yourself to the tune of “Love Shack.”
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Let me get you a copy of that memo... TO: Black Vatican Employees, hangers on, et al. / FROM: Nerdygirl the Unbeliever, Right Hand of HSBP / DATE: Monday, July 30th, 2007 / SUBJECT: Team Building / His Sinfulness has decreed that all Black Vatican personnel are cordially invited to attend an optional* team building exercise at the Unhallowed Grounds Karaoke Night, this Saturday evening. Dress is Cabaret Casual; sequins and spangles not required, but encouraged. The Legal department says pasties or black electrical tape ARE REQUIRED. Apple butter and drinks will be provided free of charge, and the usual 7 jello shot minimum (metaphorical for the Deadly Sins) will be in effect. Staff will be shuttled to and from the event, so don't bother trying the old "but I'm the designated driver!" excuse. / A wide selection of Karaoke songs will be available from all genres, but particular emphasis shall be placed on Standards, Pop, Glam, Punk, and Goth. Feel free to choose from any genre, but staff attempting Country songs do so at their own risk. If you have questions, suggestions, or a note from your doctor or therapist excusing you from participation, see me by Thursday so we can get a headcount. / *attendance is optional - but so is your continued employment...
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Something New Time for test new BCPs. / I can help? / Hair, grr / (condoms) / No, this is for pope only. Stay in your hole, cable monkey. Stay and draw more hentai. / I don't draw henatai. Anymore. / Now you should draw Hentai! Pope like hentai girls with tentacles! / My high principles won't let me draw tenticle girls. / I'm beat you with lube! / Later / ME WANT BOOBIES!
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Language Cramps "Needs washed?" No. My car might "need a washing," or better yet, "need TO BE washed," but it does not, "need washed." What is it you people have against the verb "to be" anyway?! It's not like you moved here from Slovakia and had to learn English as an adult - this is your mother tongue for fuck's sake! Save your disregard for the language for your next witty cat macro - no doubt some comedic masterpiece like, "Im in ur garage, washin ur carz," or, "I can haz carwash!" / Um, yeah. So, have you tried the kind with the wings? I hear they really cut down on the spotting...
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Like a Leper Messiah Ziggy played guitar, jamming good with Weird and Gilly / And the spiders from Mars. / He played it left hand but made it too far / Became the special man, then we were Ziggy's band / Ziggy really sang, screwed up eyes and screwed down hairdo / Like some cat from Japan, he could lick 'em by smiling / He could leave 'em to hang / Came on so loaded man, well hung and snow white tan. / So where were the spiders while the fly tried to break our balls / Just the beer light to guide us, / So we bitched about his fans and should we crush his sweet hands? / Ziggy played for time, jiving us that we were voodoo / The kids were just crass, he was the nazz / With God given ass / He took it all too far but boy could he play guitar / Making love with his ego Ziggy sucked up into his mind / Like a leper messiah / When the kids had killed the man I had to break up the band. / Oh yeah / Ooooooo / Ziggy played guitaarrrrrr
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We're not alone... Thanks for coming out to this special Black Vatican edition of the Unhallowed Grounds Karaoke night! I'll turn things over to our mistress of ceremonies for the evening, fresh from a three week engagement at the Denver YMCA, Miss Martina Gras! / Thank you for having me - oh honey, I wish he'd have me... I'm Martina Gras, but you can call me Marti. I see a lot of the Flock in the audience this evening...is the bath house closed? / You know, I've noticed that the Black Vatican is mostly women, so for my first song this evening, I'd like to do a song about a wish that I'm sure every BCP here can identify with. It's nice to have girlfriends, but sometimes you need a MAN... / It's Raining Men / You know, we are the only guys here. / Yeah, but we aren't the only ones with penises... / Wait, what?
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BV » Concept Art: Mini-Vatican Preview [[A miniture Black Pope, Flynn, and personified bit of hair stand in the panel]] / Black Pope: ... THE HELL IS THAT THING ANYWAY? / Flynn: ... / BLACK VATICAN CONCEPTS: MINI-FLYNN & MINI-POPE
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BV » Dead Vatican Day While making love to the camera and generally goofing off both Flynn and Linus pose for excellent pictures with sex appeal of themselves for use on the Black Vatican website.
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