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#001 - pea wiggle [[Eve is inside, washing Olly's Organic's display glass]] / Man: Excuse me... / Eve: Wait. Wait. We're closing in 5 minutes. Will this take longer than 5 minutes? / Man: Of course not. / [[The man starts pulling a package from his bag]] / Man: ...So long as you won't give me trouble about returning...
The break-up Eve: Grumble grumble. Your FACE is misleading. That's what I'll say next time. / <> / Eve: Hello? / James (phone): Eve, I think we should break up. / Eve: What?! James...? / James (phone): Aaa... Shit. / James: Sorry, didn't mean to blurt that out. I just been rehearsing it all day....
The Craig list Eve's mom: So with James gone, I guess you'll need a roommate after all, huh? / Eve: I guess so. Thanks to YOU for coaxing him on. / Eve's mom: Well good, because I found you someone on the Craig list and she can move in right away. / Eve: MOM!! Are you insane? That site's full of pedos! REAL-LIFE pedos! / Eve's...
Pre-school reunion <> / <> / Eve: What... The FUCK?? / <> / Hanna: Yo yo, Eve! Look at you! It's our freaking pre-school reunion! How much crazy fun are WE gonna have?! / Eve: Whoa, whoa. How did you get in here? / Hanna: Oh, just let myself in. Through the bathroom...
Diplomatic stance Hanna: Totally honest, Eve, I've never lived in such a nice apartment before. You wouldn't believe some of the shitholes I've settled for since college. / Hanna: I think you'll find I take a very diplomatic stance on roommate issues. What's yours is mine, know what I mean, Eve? / Eve: Oh God. In here,...
Manuel [[Eve and her cat look at each other]] / Eve: Manuel, there you are! My only friend. / Eve: Why do I let people do this to me? I need to get away from everyone. / Eve: Or maybe... I need to try being a little easier to get along with. / Eve: Yeah... That'll happen. / Eve: Screw it. Who needs people,...
Blood oranges <> / <> / <> / <> / [[Eve reaches for the phone]] / Olly (phone): I need you down here NOW, Ning! Got an emergency on the floor! Can you hear me, Ning?! / Eve: Olly, it's 6:30. / Olly: No shit! A fresh shipment of blood oranges came in five...
The bed store OR Mr. Pedals Eve: You know you can sleep in a BED, right Hanna? / Hanna: Uhh, yeah. I still need to bring it here. / Eve: Where is it? / Hanna: I don't fuckin' know... The bed store? / Eve: Hah. / [[Eve steps outside]] / [[Eve stares in shock]] / Eve: Mr. Pedals...?
Combos Hanna: Yo roomie, we got any combos? I'm trying to make a salad, and-- / [[Hanna stares]] / [[Hanna looks at Eve, who's lying in fetal position]] / Hanna: Hey... Is y'all alright? / Eve: My bike... Stolen from me like a tenspeed ship in the night. / Hanna: Ooh, that's a pisser. But hey, you can stay...
Bong-o-fury Hanna: Mmph... C'mon, Eve, you can get a new bike. Don't take it so hard. / Hanna: Chill here for a second, okay? I've got just the thing for you. / [[Eve looks like she's about to cry]] / Eve: Something needs to be done. This agression will not STAND. / Hanna: Now, my BEST shit is still on back-order,...
Bicycle rights management Eve: For too long I've been victim to a society of grubby MENACES! No longer will they steal my property and my dignity. / Eve: It's time for a little... / Eve: Bicycle rights management! / Store clerc: Twenty-four fifty. / Eve: Oh, um. Shit. You take credit, right? / Store clerc: I'll need two forms...
Welding freedom [[Hanna is smoking]] / Hanna: So... Doin' that, huh? / Eve: I am welding FREEDOM. / Eve: What you see before you is the onset of a bicycle revolution. A world without limit. / [[Hanna looks at the bike]] / Hanna: Oh, dude. Give it a handlebar. / Eve: Yeah? I don't know, it's already over 80 poun...
Impossible to steal Hanna: Ah, there you are. Give up entirely? / Eve: Hardly! My new bike is finished! And it's impossible to steal. / Eve: This baby is wired from seat to wheel with state-of-the-art security. It starts collecting data on you the minute you so much as GLANCE at it. / Eve (from outside the panel): If the...
octopus pie: not your mom's grumpy internet hipster comic Mark: Look, Olly, I know things are okay. You don't have to convince ME. The guys, well... / Olly: .. have no faith in me. / Mark: They... We just need to hear something good. Anything good. I don't know how else to say it, Olly. / Olly: But see, Mark, I was GETTING to that. / Olly: Aww, man, we're gonna...
#050 - a hero, a legend [[Inside a store-room. Eve sits nursing her thumb]] / Julie: Can I get you anything else, Eve? You want some more ice? / Eve: I'm fine, Julie. / Julie: But if you need any-- / Eve: Please. I'm fine. / [[Julie and Jacob, opening boxes]] / Jacob: Christ, is she still nursing that scratch? / Julie: It's not...
octopus pie: not your mom's grumpy internet hipster comic [[Olly leaning out of office, Ning, Jacob and Julie surrounded by boxes]] / Olly: Ning. My office. Now. / Julie: Uh-oh. / Julie: Olly's not using verbs. / Jacob: Looks like your hero's in need of saving. / [[Ning leaning into Olly's office, with his back to her]] / Ning: Olly? Is everything all right? / Olly:...
Broken up forever James (from outside the frame): And I mean, the fact is that billions of universes exist where Eve and I AREN'T dating. We mainly exist to be broken up forever, y'know? / James: And like, you can totally apply that to life and death. Everything's just a blip on the radar. Sometimes I'll just sit for...

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