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The Ultimate Price Jeffrey: I don't know, baby. I don't think death is really the "Ultimate Price." / Baby: It's pretty ultimate. / Jeffrey: Well, yeah, but it doesn't actually cost anything. And although I won't get to spend the money I have when I'm dead, I'll be way more concerned about trying to swim in fire or whatever. / Baby: Word. / <> / Jeffrey: The "Ultimate Price" is however much a bullet costs. / {{Mouseover Text: silver bullets cost slightly more}}
X-Mas! X-mas, Everybody! X-mas! Jeffrey: It needs more horseshoes. / Weedmaster P: Ho ho, mo-fos. / Baby: Weedmaster P! What's the true meaning of X-mas? / Weedmaster P: Chunky ass Santa C rollin' up with a fat sack of kine bud and rockin' the ganj with Lil baby J. What. / Jeffrey: Weedmaster P believes X-mas is about smoking drugs with the infant son of God. / Baby: What if he's right? / Jeffrey: What if he's not? / {{Mouseover text: every day is Jesus day}}
Super Happy Fun Joy Baby: How are you doing, Jeffrey? / Jeffrey: WOO!! WOOO!!! HELL YEAH!! / Jeffrey: I decided to pretend that I am at a concert all the time. I'm always happy at concerts, and this way I'll never be sad! / Baby: What if the lead singer starts talking about 9-11 and you're supposed to be sad? Or Dimebag Darrell? / Jeffrey: MOSH PIT!! / {{Mouseover text: keep a cigarette lighter handy at all times}}
Signs Baby: What's that thing Jeffrey? / Jeffrey: It's a hole in reality, baby! Check it out, it's so freaky! / Baby: It's a reflection of myself exactly one year older! / Jeffrey: When I look in it, all I see is a skeleton lying down in a swamp. / Baby: That sucks. Hey, let's go skydiving! / Jeffrey: OK, let me just pack my chute for the first time, unsupervised. / {{Mouseover text: no big deal it's just a hole in reality}}
Into A Hole Where No One Can Escape Jeffrey: I'm drawing the final installment of my comic "Wigu" today. / <> / [[Jeffrey is holding a gun threateningly]] / Jeffrey: WHO'S THERE?! / Wigu: It's me, Jeffrey. It's Wigu. Why do you want me to die? Why did you create me if you knew you would one day destroy me? / Jeffrey: Hello, Ghostbusters? I need you to send over a guy right away. I... Oh... I see, you're not real. / {{Mouseover text: ghost ghost I know you live within me}}
 
Kangaroo Maurice Jeffrey: Tomorrow, I am going on a secret mission to Australia. / Jeffrey: I have to get my mafia boss' money back from a rapping kangaroo that wears sunglasses. At the Sydney Opera House. / Jeffrey: My mafia boss gets mad at me 'cause I can't keep secrets. But at least I don't get robbed by a rapping kangaroo. / {{Mouseover Text: He stole the money... and he's not giving it back}}
We Had a Gay and Hearty Jeffrey: Ladies and gentlemen, it is with pleasure that I announce major combat operations with Australia are over. / Jeffrey: I am aware that many of you weren't aware that we even had any sort of problem with Australia. / Jeffrey[[Voiceover]]: There are reasons for this, security reasons, and the fact that this is something I decided to do spontaneously on the flight over. / Jeffrey[[Voiceover]]: It is widely believed that everything in Australia is designed to kill people, so we took a pre-emptive approach in the first stage of combat in the sea. / Jeffrey[[Voiceover]]: My deep cover agents and I then took the battle to the streets. / Woman: Wogs. / Jeffrey[[Voiceover]]: In mere hours, Australia knelt at our feet. Celebration ensued. / {{Mouseover text: we had a ding dong}}
Big Bananas Jeffrey: <> / Jeffrey: Goddamn podunk airport! Now I have to take my own airplane! / [[Jeffrey is clinging to the neck of a giant bird as it flies.]] / Jeffrey: Can you stop down there? I can't decide if I need to crap or throw up.
Things Are Gonna Change Jeffrey: Weedmaster P! / Baby: Now settle down, Jeff! / Weedmaster P: BRING IT ON SON OF A BITCH! / Jeffrey: Weedmaster P, what are you doing selling horsemeat to under-5's? / Weedmaster P: I ran out of pony yo / Jeffrey: That was supposed to last three weeks! / [[Weedmaster P lies on the ground dead, a ghost of marijuana smoke escaping from his sternum]] / Jeffrey: What the hell! What a shoddily built friend. / Bowtie Pony: Oh, Jeff, you know violence is not the answer!
Safety Tips Narrator: If confronted by a bear, use reverse psychology. / Jeffrey: Go on! Maul me! What are you waiting for? I don't want to live! / Narrator: If confronted by a pack of wild pigs, do the moonwalk and whoop like Michael Jackson. / Jeffrey: Hoo! Sh'mon! / Narrator: If confronted by an aroused horse, do not look at its dingaling. / [[A single tear rolls down Jeffrey's cheek as he fails to heed the above advice.]] / / {{Mouseover text: I am increasing the reader's brain capacity by purposely drawing incongruities.}}
 
Purpose [[A donut and a hot dog sit beside each other on a table.]] / [[Jeffrey stands beside the table, frowning as he beholds the donut and hot dog]] / [[Back to the close-up of the first shot, but now the hot dog is sticking through the donut hole.]] / [[A close up of Jeffrey, smiling.]] / {{Mouseover text: A place for everything, and everything in its place.}}
Imagine the Pasta-bilities Baby: Jeffrey, what are you gonna be when you grow up? / Jeffrey: I am growed up. I'm like a cowboy-poet or something. / Baby: But girls don't want to marry cowboy-poets! Girls want astronauts or zookeepers! / Jeffrey: Cowboy-poets don't give a crap about all that. Cowboy-poets spend their lives going for it. / Jeffrey: I am a cowboy-poet, it is too a job. It's cooler than being a bus driver, and safer than the mob. / {{Mouseover text: i am a better cowboy than poet}}
Naboo Boogie Jeffrey: Hey look! Weedmaster P is out of the hospital! / Baby: Weedmaster! How's the physical therapy? / Weedmaster P: IT AIN'T NO THING BUT A CHICKEN WING / Weedmaster P: CHECK OUT MY NEW GIRL, SHE HAS SPIRITUALLY TRANSCENDED BEYOND THE NEED FOR STRUCTURED LANGUAGE. / Weedmaster P's girl: meesa Gungan chickabee / Jeffrey: Weedmaster P is dating a girl he found in the woods. / Baby: Jungle fever! / {{Mouseover text: jar jar is the nell of naboo}}
Humanimals Jeffrey: What separates human bein's from regular animals? / Jeffrey [[Voiceover]]: Sometimes we know an idea is diabolically bad, but we go on and do it anyway. / Jeffrey [[Voiceover]]: "Triple dog dare" means nothing to a cat. / Jeffrey: Human bein's: We like to do things that are fun. / {{Mouseover text: animals is smart people.}}
Corn Dogs [[Jeffrey and Baby are riding on a roller coaster]] / Jeffrey: Baby, do you think corn dogs are good for you? I mean, corn is good and all... / Baby: Why don't you ask your precious little inter-net, Jeffrey? / Jeffrey: Maybe I will! / Jeffrey: O inter-net, is eatin' corn dogs good for folks? / [[A banner takes up the panel stating "Corn Dogs The Ultimate Food. Corn Dogs Have Been Linked to Immortality.]] / [[Jeffrey is upside down, along with his text bubble.]] / Jeffrey: NOOOOOOOO! / {{Mouseover text: corn dogs are neither corn nor dogs.}}
 
Enchanted Delight Narrator: Are you tired of those boring breakfast-time beverages like juice, coffee and milk? / Guy: Oh GOD yes. / Narrator: Then you should try- / [[Shot of a can labeled Enchanted Delight Breakfast Beer]] / Narrator: ENCHANTED DELIGHT / Guy: For that mid-night feelin' at eight in the mornin'! / Narrator: Enchanted Delight is scientifically formulated to not smell like regular beer! / Scientist: It's our little secret! / Narrator: Commute to work? In most states it's legal to drink two Enchanted Delights before you get behind the wheel! / Guy: Whee! / Narrator: Carpool? More like designated driver! / Narrator: There's no stoppin' where you're goin' / Narrator: You're on a bullet train to party town. / Narrator: ENCHANTED DELIGHT. / Narrator: You weren't gonna do anything productive today anyway. / {{Mouseover text: all aboard the bullet train to party town}}
Party Til You Start Freaking Out [[Jeffrey is walking toward the fridge with the symbols above his head indicating a Sim is hungry]] / Andrew WK: Yeah! / Jeffrey: Andrew WK, what are you doing in my refrigerator? / Andrew WK: Partying. / {{Mouseover text: The WK stands for ROCKS OUT - LL}}
Inter Nets Jeffrey: Computer! Take me to the inter-net. / Computer: ALL RIGHT. / [[Jeffrey is flying into the inter-nets]] / Jeffrey: Whoa, I didn't mean that literally. / God of Internet: I AM G0D OF INTERNET. NOW SEE MY GENITALS, WHICH ARE HUMAN. / Jeffrey: SHIT! / Jeffrey: Computer, initiate self-destruct sequence. / Computer: HANG ON / {{Mouseover text: HwTwMwL THE GOD OF THE INTERNET}}
Thinkin Jeffrey [[Thought Bubble]]: I can't pay my rent until my electronic funds transfer deposits into my bank account. / Jeffrey [[Thought Bubble]]: I'm checking my e-mail remotely on Jon's wire-less inter-net in New York City. / [[Jeffrey holds a burrito and looks at the New York Skyline.]] / Jeffrey: I am living in some sort of futuristic space fantasy. / {{Mouseover text: I'd Hit It}}
Jeffrey vs NYC Narrator: Pub Night -- 6:03 PM / Jeffrey [[Thought Bubble]]: New York City is beginning to affect me. / Jon Rosenberg: DUMBRELLA DEATH PACT! / Narrator: 7:56 PM / Jeffrey [[Thought Bubble]]: Maize is called "corn" here. / Jeffrey [[Thought Bubble]]: And tacos come in a paste form. / Narrator: 8:53 PM / Jeffrey [[Voiceover]]: It has been brought to my attention that Ted Nugent is a zoophile who wants to make sure his victims never say a word. / Narrator: Pub Night 2: THE REVENGE 6:04 PM / Jeffrey: Having failed in my most virile attempts to document last night's pub night in a visual format, I begin a much more determined effort. / Jeffrey [[As Narrator]]: I am at war with this city. It will win. / Jeffrey [[As Narrator]]: It has consumed me. / [[Jeffrey stands with an angry look and both middle fingers extended.]] / Jeffrey: <> / {{Mouseover text: i am a part of it}}
 
Go For It, Superman! Narrator: What if Superman was one of us? / Narrator: Just a slob like one of us? / George W. Bush: Strategerficratin' / Narrator: Just a stranger on the bus? / Narrator: Tryin' to make his way home? / {{Mouseover text: superman doesn't take shit from anybody}}
Neighbors Jeffrey [[Thought Bubble]]: My Texas ranch would be great if it wasn't for my neighbors. / George W. Bush: HEY BOY! / George W. Bush: You got a problem with me boy? Let's solvamize it! Let's take it outside! / Jeffrey: We are outside, you dumb asshole. / George W. Bush: Bring it! / Jeffrey: Look, I don't have a problem with you. I think you are an okay president, okay? / George W. Bush: I got a cooler airplane than you. / Jeffrey: I know. / {{Mouseover text: George Bush doesn't take shit from anybody}}
Angels Among Us George W. Bush: Now I got me two daughters, and it'd serve you well to keep away from 'em, if'n you wanna keep them precious testiclurs of yers. / Jeffrey [[Thought Bubble]]: Daughters? / Jeffrey: OK. / Jeffrey [[Voiceover]]: It was a chance I was willin' to take. / Jeffrey [[Voiceover]]: I like to do things that are fun. / Jeffrey [[Voiceover]]: Now I never believed in angels, so imagine my surprise when I saw two of them, before my very eyes, shootin' tequilla. / Jeffrey [[Voiceover]]: Sometimes a man has to ask himself "What makes a man? Is it those doo-dads danglin' 'twixt his thighs, or the decisions he makes when his eyes eye a prize?" / Jeffrey: You girls ever drove a limo into a pond wearin' nothin' but canola oil? / Jeffrey [[Voiceover]]: And that's how I learned my lesson. / {{Mouseover text: the bush twins don't take shit from anybody.}}
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20050211.html Weedmaster P: LOL / Weedmaster P: LOL / Jeffrey: ROFLMAOWMPAMAAABSUMA / Weedmaster P: LMAOWMHSYT, AATFBEYBISOYFCABTBIWAS / * Note: Laughing My Ass Off With My Hands Squeezing Your Throat, And As The Final Breath Exits Your Body I Stand Over Your Filthy Corpse And Begin To Beat It With A Sledgehammer. / [[Inset picture of Jeffrey, looking shocked.]] / {{Mouseover text: Rolling On Floor Laughing My Ass Off With My Pants Around My Ankles And A Banana Shoved Up My Ass}}
The Caped Bear Jeffrey [[Voiceover]]: One day I was getting some money from the ATM... / Jeffrey [[Voiceover]]: Out of nowhere this dude in a bear costume grabbed all my cash and tore out of there like crazy. / Jeffrey [[Voiceover]]: I felt no need to call the cops. The Caped Bear earned that money, and I am a better man now. / Jeffrey [[Voiceover]]: Now you know the legend of the Caped Bear. / {{Mouseover Text: The Masked Bear}}
 
The Legend of the Caped Bear Jeffrey [[Voiceover]]: The Caped Bear is Good Luck. / Jeffrey [[Voiceover]]: If the Caped Bear steals your money at the ATM, don't call the police or else you will ruin the good luck spell! / Jeffrey [[Voiceover]]: No one can know who the Caped Bear is. If you see him, do not try to remember what cologne he is wearing. / Jeffrey [[Voiceover]]: The Caped Bear is kind of like Robin Hood or something. / {{Mouseover Text: The Caped Bear Is A Secret.}}
No Place To Hide Jeffrey: Unngh... interr-neeet / God of Internets: JEFFREY THE G0D OF INTERNETS IS DEEPLY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU / Jeffrey: But I'm not on the inter-net! I am asleep! / God of Internets: WHEN YOU ARE NOT ON THE INTER NET THERE IS AN ACHE WITHIN THE G0D'S GENITALS, WHICH GLISTEN LIKE WET FRUIT. / {{Mouseover Text: The Internet is a Useful Tool}}
Posthumously, JeffR Jeffrey: Baby, write this down for me. "Yo, though I be walkin' through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I shall fear no reaper, for I --" / Jeffrey: Gak / Jeffrey: Ack / [[A shot of Jeffrey lying back in his bed. He is obviously dead since his eyes are rendered as Xs]] / [[Jeffrey is standing and obviously a zombie, as he is green.]] / Jeffrey: Sweet! I mean, unnnnggghhh... BRAINS! / {{Mouseover text: Knees Up Mother Brown}}
Enter Joanna Zombie Jeff: The World of the Dead is horse shit! I'm just staggering around like an asshole! / Zombie Jeff [[Notices a dead green cat]] Hey, that looks like some kind of drunken cat! / Zombie Jeff: Come on, cat, we're gonna find a way out of this shit-hole and get back to America. / {{Title text: Down at the Old Bull and Bush}}
Jeffrey Burrito Zombie Jeffrey: Baby, I'm home! Is it cool if we have a cat? / Baby: But... but... you're... you're DEAD! / Zombie Jeffrey: Uh, that was just like a sort of clerical error. / Zombie Jeffrey: Don't cats breathe? / Baby: But I spent all morning cramming your corpse into the rubbish bin. / Zombie Jeffrey: I always wondered how my feet would look pokin' out of that rug. / {{Mouseover Text: Little Brown Jug.}}
 

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