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Goodbye Hollywood Jeffrey Rowland: I'm tired of bein' a big shot Hollywood jerkoff. Joanna! I wanna go back to bein' a cowboy poet hacker detective stunt-man. / Jeffrey Rowland: Hollywood's all about the movin' and shakin' and screaming at cops about Jews after you've had two beers. I' don't belong in that world. / Jeffrey Rowland: Hollywood people are like you and me they spit when they talk and they poop when they pee but when they break laws they don't have to go to the pokey la la la la karaoke / [[Joanna is laying down and dreaming about Mel Gibson]]
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060802.html
Humping Hot [[everybody is dressed like Firefly]] / Weedmaster P: WE CAN'T WORK IN THIS GORRAM HEAT BOSS EVERYTHING IS ALL SWEATY AND THE T-SHIRTS ARE TOO HOT TO TOUCH / Jeffrey Rowland: Rutting humps! How's that colling unit coming along, Baby? / Baby: It's real bad, cap'n! It's leakin' fluid and floodin' out the fancy photography studio downstairs! / Jeffrey Rowland: We're fresh outta options. Weedmaster P. You got any ideas? / Weedmaster P: I'M GOING TO THE LIQUOR STORE DO YOU NEED ANYTHING
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060803.html
P's Hole Weedmaster P: HOLY TESTES GOD DANGED HOLE AIN'T GOT NO BOTTOM / Jeffrey Rowland: Weedmaster P, where are you going with your Star Wars toys and miles and miles of fishing line? / Weedmaster P: I FOUND A BOTTOMLESS HOLE SO I GOT TO SEND SOME BOYS DOWN THERE TO CHECK IT OUT / Weedmaster P: THERE AIN'T NO SUCH THING AS A MANTLE AND CORE THE EARTH IS HOLLOW YOU SEE THERE'S A SUN DOWN THERE AND CRITTERS LIVE DOWN THERE UPSIDE DOWN / Weedmaster P: DOWN IN ANTARCTICA THEY GOT A GIGANTIC HOLE SO YOU CAN GET INTO THE MIDDLE OF THE EARTH OR OUT OF IT / Weedmaster P: AND THE GOVERNMENT DON'T WANT NOBODY TO KNOW / Narrator: DAYS LATER... / [[A Jar-Jar Binks figure is being dangled by a rope]] / [[A green T-Rex looks up at the dangling Jar-Jar Binks]] / T-Rex: DEATH TO THE SURFACE DWELLERS
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060804.html
Joe Francis is a Piece of Crap Jeffrey Rowland: "Girls Gone Wild" creator Joe Francis! What do you want? / Joe Francis: I heard you was goin' to the premiere of "Snakes on a Plane!" Can you get me in? / Jeffrey Rowland: I would if I could Joe Francis, but... well, you're basically the biggest douchebag in the whole universe. My hands are tied. / Joe Francis: Perhaps this tasty beverage will, ahem...persuade you. Heh heh. / Jeffrey Rowland: Why, thank you, Joe Francis. How'd you know I was thirsty? / Narrator: MOMENTS LATER... / Jeffrey Rowland: Feeling...groggy... Joe Francis must have slipped me a mickey!
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AOL Doesn't Care About White People Jeffrey Rowland: Holy crap you guys, a company accidentally released a list of all our interwub search engine queries to the public. / Baby: No! / Weedmaster P: OH GOD OH MY GOD / [[Jeffrey's List (Rs)]] / RUNNING FROM / BEARS / RUNNING / ROUND AND BROWN / ROSE MCGOWN / ROSCO P COLTRANE / RILO KILEY / RICIN / RIBS / RIBOFLAVIN / RATT / RASPUTIN / RAPPING / RAPE KIT / RAP LYRICS / RANCID / RAMMSTEIN / RAINBOWS / RAINBOW / RABIES / RAIN MAN / [[Baby's List (Fs)]] / FAERIES / FAERIEYS / FAERY / FAERYS / FAIRE / FAIRY / FAMILIA / FAMILY / FAMINE / FANCY / FANCY PANTS / FANTASIA / FAT FAMINE / FAMILIA / FERRET / FERRETS / FERRIS BUELLER / FERRIS WHEEL / FISTING / [[Weedmaster P's List (Ms)]] / MAKING MARILYN / MANSON GO AWAY / MANSION / MANSON / MARILYN MANSON / MASHING / MATH PROBLEMS / MEXICO / MOJITOS / MOON LANDING / MOONIES / MORGAN / MORGELLAN'S / MOTHMAN / MURDER / MULDER / MURDERING / MURDERS / MURDOCH / MUSTACE RIDES / MUSTACHE / Jeffrey Rowland: We're gonna go to jail you guys. They're going to reinstate crucifixion to deal with the likes of us.
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The Ballad of Vermont Pete Jeffrey Rowland: You've made such a joyful noise unto me, Vermont Pete! / Vermont Pete: Man, it's a mashup of Christopher Cross, Kriss Kross, and Kris Kristofferson! / Weedmaster P: WHO THE CRAP IS THIS DOUCHEBAG / Jeffrey Rowland: Vermont Pete is our new resident DJ! I suddenly decided we needed a house DJ. / Vermont Pete: Man, I will kick your ass. / Weedmaster P: I MADE A MASHUP OF LEANN RIMES, BUSTA RHYMES AND BUSTER POINDEXTER. / Jeffrey Rowland: Weedmaster P, you just glued those three CDs together.
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060809.html
Weedmaster P Dreams of Trebek Weedmaster P: I'LL TAKE "BAD ASS GUITAR SOLOS" FOR A GIANT SACK OF DRUGS ALEX / Alex Trebek: This song has not only the baddest ass guitar solo ever, it's also the best song ever recorded. / Weedmaster P: WHAT IS FREEBIRD / Alex Trebek: That... is... CORRECT / Weedmaster P: ALL RIGHT / Weedmaster P: IT'S GO TIME / Jeffrey Rowland: GASP! / Jeffrey Rowland: I just had the craziest dream! I dreamed you won drugs on Jeopardy and went on a killing spree! / Weedmaster P: WAS IT A DREAM JEFFREY / Weedmaster P: WAS IT / [[Weedmaster P winks]] / <>
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060810.html
The Problems Of The Privileged Jeffrey Rowland: Oh my God, "MacGyver" is a terrarist! / Weedmaster P: BULLSHIT MACGYVER IS AN HONEST AMERICAN WHO USES HIS WITS AND SCIENCE TO SOLVE MYSTERIES WITHOUT USING VIOLENCE. / Jeffrey Rowland: The news said terrarists can make bombs out of shampoo and chap-stick! Only Macgyver can do that! / Weedmaster P: IF A TERRORIST HATES FREEDOM ENOUGH HE CAN MAKE A BOMB OUT OF ANYTHING RUBBERS CHOCOLATE MILK DOUCHE / Baby: Why do they hate freedom? I mean, it's freedom. / Jeffrey Rowland: They're just jealous of our obesity epidemic and terrifying public schools.
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060811.html
Appearances Baby: Jeffrey, the big movie premiere is in three days! What're ya gonna wear? / Jeffrey Rowland: It doesn't matter none Baby! I seen pictures of movie stars at these things dressed like they're goin' to Wal-Mart! / Baby: Movie stars can run 'round dressed like scumbags 'cause everybody knows they got a buncha money! You need to dress up nice on account of bein' a nobody that ehn't got no money! / Jeffrey Rowland: That ain't true! People on the interwub believe I'm a high-rollin' big-shot cowboy type dude! / Baby: Jeffrey, people on the internet believe in werewolves and magical angels and that other people want to look at pictures of their cat.
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060814.html
They're All Gonna Laugh At Me Jeffrey Rowland: I feel like a tool! I became a cartoonist because wouldn't ever have to wear a suit! / Baby: You look beautiful Jeffrey! / Jeffrey Rowland: I ain't beautiful, I'm tough! I ain't gonna get all fancified just to impress Hollywood! / Weedmaster P: WELL YOU AIN'T GONNA IMPRESS EM WITH YOUR DASHING LOOKS AND CHARMING WAYS YOU HILLBILLY / Jeffrey Rowland: You son of a bitch / Narrator: MOMENTS LATER... / [[Jeffrey Rowland is standing in a shower and thinking]] / Jeffrey Rowland: Man I am gonna get laughed outta Hollywood.
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060815.html
 
Free Ride, Seaside Poopmonster: What the hell are you doing, Jeffrey? Your plane to Hollywood leaves in an hour! / Jeffrey: [[lying down in his underwear, holding Joanna]] I'm scared, Poopmonster. Everybody in Hollywood is gonna laugh at me! / Jeffrey: I ain't got no business cavortin' with them Hollywood types! I'm just a dumb old country boy from Oklahoma! Ain't got no class. / Poopmonster: [[pointing forcefully]] I know of another dumb old Oklahoma boy with no class that won himself a GRAMMY. His name is GARTH BROOKS. Now your [sic] get your ignorant, classless ass to Hollywood. / Jeffery: Dude, Milli VANILLI won a Grammy. / {{Grammys are the Tonys of Oscars}}
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060816.html
White Ninja Guest Comics Jeffrey Rowland: Why Hullo Scott and Kent of White Ninja Awesomeness. You guys rule. / Jeffrey Rowland: Did you guys drive all the way from Canada? / White Ninja S: We drove under a moose! / [[Jeffrey Rowland displays confusion]] / White Ninja S: It didn't even jump.
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060817.html
Questionable Compensating Jeph Jacques: All right guys, you're gonna be packin' merchandise for me an' Cristi while Jeffrey's in Hollywood. / Weedmaster P: OH HEY LOOK A TALKING BAG OF COCKS WILL WONDERS NEVER CEASE / Baby: But I have to finish my doctoral thesis! / Caption: Soon... / Weedmaster P: HEY DICKASS WHEN DO I GET A SMOKE BREAK / Jeph Jacques: No breaks until I figure out how to cram even more words into my internet comic strips! / The Enforeceress: Dammit Jeph, what have I told you about hiring vagrants to work for us? / Jeph Jacques: There aren't vagrants, they're Jeffrey's friends! / The Enforceress: Oh. Well then hello... you may call me... THE ENFORCERESS / Weedmaster P: HA HA WHAT ARE YOU AN AMERICAN GLADIATOR OR SOMETHING / [[The Enforceress' left eye starts gleaming]] / Weedmaster P: OH JESUS GOD MY EYE / The Enforceress: I WILL MAKE A PENCIL HOLDER OUT OF YOUR SKULL / Jeph Jacques: The Enforceress is a lot like America. She's nice, but if you cross her she will rip out your eyeballs and fill the sockets with office supplies / Baby: That doesn't make any- / Jeph Jacques: Shh. I'm being creative
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Snakes DVD Special Samuel L. Jackson: Finally! We got all these motherfuckin' snakes off this motherfuckin' plane! / Blonde Girl: Hooray! / Samuel L. Jackson: Now let's get this got-damn plan on the muthafuckin' ground! / Blonde Girl: LOOK OUT! / [[Samuel L. Jackson has been partially eaten by a giant snake and his legs are dangling out of the mouth]] / Samuel L. Jackson: That's it! / Samuel L. Jackson: I have had it with this! / Narrator: THE END...?
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060821.html
How I Spent My Summer Vacation Narrator: Wed. August 16. Arrive at airport 30 min. early. / Jeffrey Rowland: Blerg. / Narrator: 3:00pm. Downtown LA. The White Raspberry introduces me to The Skid Row Yacht Club. / The White Raspberry: Let's eat quiche after you shave! / Narrator: Thurs, 9:11am. DVD shoot in W. Hollywood / Reporter: Jeffrey did you ever dream you'd be on the Snakes On A Plane DVD? / Jeffrey Rowland: Yeah it ain't hard. / Narrator: 8:00pm, Grauman Chinese Theater / Security Guard: Get in line. / Jeffrey Rowland: But I'm Jeffrey Rowland, I'm s'posed to be here! / Security Guard: GET IN LINE. / Narrator: 15 minutes later. / Reporter: Did you ever dream you'd be at a big Hollywood Red Carpet World Premiere? / Jeffrey Rowland: Yes. / Narrator: Bathroom break, 30 min. into "Snakes on a Plane" / Jeffrey Rowland: Man I hope a snake doesn't climb out of the urinal and bite me on the ding-ding! / Joel Schumacher: HA HA HA *SNORT* HA HA / Narrator: 11:00pm. Movie ends. / Samuel L. Jackson: I'm sorry Jeffrey! I got enough motherfuckin' best friends! / Jeffrey Rowland: Dang. / Narrator: Hollywood Boulevard / [[Jeffrey Rowland is standing around holding Joanna]] / Narrator: 1:50am, Afterparty. / Reporter: Jeffrey in your wildest fantasies did you ever dream you'd be at the - / Jeffrey Rowland: No. This is literally the ultimate fantasy experience. / Narrator: Saturday, Eaton Canyon with Fred and Copper / [[Jeffrey Rowland is running near a waterfall with a boy dressed in gray and a dog]] / Narrator: Sunday, 4:00am. Possibly somewhere over Oklahoma. / Jeffrey Rowland: I'd give a billion dollars to be able to sleep one minute. / Narrator: Returning to atmosphere with more oxygen than exhaust, I sleep knowing I helped a movie with a dumb name do kind of okay.
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060822.html
 
Dark Matter Is Real Baby: Jeffrey, science has proven th' existence of dark matter and Weedmaster P can't wrap his old brain around it! / Jeffrey Rowland: My God. / Baby: It's okay Weedy! Ehn't nothin' any different now! / Jeffrey Rowland: Yeah, it's not like all of a sudden everything is different! The universe has always been terrifying - it's just now we know why! / Weedmaster P: NAW MAN YOU DON'T GET HOW IT REALLY IS / Weedmaster P: IT'S LIKE WHAT IF ALL A SUDDEN TOM BROKAW CAME ON TV AND SAID THAT SCIENCE PROVED HELL IS A ACTUAL PLACE AND EVERYBODY GOES THERE AFTER THEY DIE NO MATTER WHAT THEY BELIEVE OR DO / Jeffrey Rowland: Heh heh! That would be awkward! / Jeffrey Rowland: Also Tom Brokaw retired I think.
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060823.html
Patriotic Songs Jeffrey Rowland: The metric system's better but America has fractions! / Weedmaster P: THUS MAKING IT MORE DIFFICULT TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR ACTIONS / Baby: Jeffrey, you ehn't s'posd t' make up songs like that! It ehn't patriotic! / Jeffrey Rowland: Nuh-uh, Baby! Makin' fun of how stupid your country is is the most patriotic thing you can do! / Jeffrey Rowland: It's like this and like that and like this and like that / Weedmaster P: THESE COLORS DON'T RUN BECAUSE THEY'RE TOO DAMN FAT
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060824.html
The Problem With Pluto Weedmaster P: GOD-DAMN SPACE DEMONS BLEW UP PLUTO / Jeffrey Rowland: Why is it that every time astronomers change the classification of an orbiting body you start yellin' about space demons? / Weedmaster P: USE YOUR NOGGIN YOU HILLBILLY DO YOU THINK ASTRONOMERS GOT NOTHIN BETTER TO DO THAN THIS / Weedmaster P: THIS IS A COVER UP / Jeffrey Rowland: Calm down! You're just paranoid from weed smoke. / Weedmaster P: BUT I FELT IT IN THE FORCE / Narrator: MEANWHILE / [[An object resembling a space ship is headed towards planet Earth.]]
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060825.html
New Slightly Subversive Designs [[An advertisement for three new t-shirt designs being offered.]]
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T-Shirts on the Interweb T-Shirts on the Interweb / p: hey just what the world needs more t-shirts for sale on the internet / j: stop making fun! these tshirts put food in our bellies / p: dick ass / j:we live in a society where a man driving around with his wife's severed head in the passenger seat is a cliche and you're worried about this?! / poopmonster : ...my other car... has Paris Hilton's ... head in it... / p: did you know there are more internet tshirt stores than there are molecules in a horse / (p wears a green shirt proclaiming that JERRY FALWELL IS FAT)
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060828.html
 
Rainbows Are Pretty Jeffrey Rowland: Let's go to town Joanna! Let's prance about in the town square! / Baby: Jeffrey, yer not gonna wear that shirt out are ya? / Jeffrey Rowland: Of course I am silly! / Baby: Jeffrey, rainbow clothes is associated with bein' homosexual! / Jeffrey Rowland: What?! What the hell do rainbows got to do with bein' a gay? / Baby: I think... I think it's cause they got more diversity? / Jeffrey Rowland: What's diverse about it? you either like boys or you like girls or you like 'em both! There ain't a lot of options. / Narrator: LATER... / [[Jeffrey Rowland is dressed in a black vest]] / Jeffrey Rowland: Manly.
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060829.html
The Website That Shows You What Celebrities You Resemble Jeffrey Rowland: Hey Weedmaster P, have you seen that web-site that tells you what celebrities you most resemble? / Weedmaster P: NO WEBSITES LIKE THAT ARE BULLSHIT / Jeffrey Rowland: Fine, be that way! / Weedmaster P: I WILL / [[Weedmaster P's photo is shown above five celebrities including his percentage resemblance. Snoop Dogg - 89%, Aquaman - 91%, Macaulay Culkin, Link - 92% and Joan Rivers - 69%]] / Weedmaster P: GO TO THAT ONE WEBSITE THAT TELLS YOU WHAT CELEBRITIES YOU RESEMBLE SORT OF / Baby: Okay! / Weedmaster P: NOW DESTROY IT / Baby: Weee!
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060830.html
The Fancy Times Baby: Ay Jeffrey why'd ya start wearin' suits all a sudden? / Jeffrey Rowland: Way I figure it, if I can't act professional I might as well look it. / Weedmaster P: YOU AIN'T FOOLIN' NOBODY HILLBILLY PUTTIN' A SUIT ON YOU IS LIKE PUTTIN' PINSTRIPES ON A PINTO EVERYBODY KNOWS IT'S STILL A PIECE OF CRAP / Jeffrey Rowland: I am a fancy man. / Jeffrey Rowland: That does it! Everybody is gonna start wearing suits from now on! Things are gonna start gettin' a lot fancier around here! Paper plates, not paper towels.
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060831.html
Selling The Image Weedmaster P: MAN WHY DO WE GOT TO WEAR SUITS NOW IT AIN'T LIKE NOBODY EVER LOOKS AT US / Baby: But don'tcha feel fancy Weedmaster P? / Weedmaster P: IF I WANTED TO FEEL FANCY I'D SIT IN A BATH TUB FULL OF JOHNNY WALKER BLUE AND READ BAROQUE POETRY / Jeffrey Rowland: Hey! Doesn't everyone feel fancier and more professional today? / Weedmaster P: YEAH MAN I'VE BEEN FOLDING THESE T-SHIRTS WITH MASSIVE PROFESSIONALISM / Jeffrey Rowland: Oh, come on! When you look fancy the whole world notices!
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060901.html
Labor Day Jeffrey Rowland: Man, having a good time is what it's all about! Having a good time is fun! / Weedmaster P: HELL YEAH BOY HAVING FUN IS AWESOME / Baby: weee! / Jeffrey Rowland: I mean, responsibility is important and all, but it seems to me that bein' responsible sometimes makes it okay to be unresponsible and have fun! / Weedmaster P: THAT'S LIFE MAN YOU GOTTA PAY THE PRICE / Baby: Fun is like freedom- it's wicked expensive. / Narrator: MEANWHILE / Police Radio: Attention all units, we've got a report of some kids having a good time down at the abandoned mansion. / Police: Let's have some fun.
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The Revolution May Not Necessarily Be An Improveme Jeffrey Rowland: Come on guys, let's start The Revolution! There'll never be a better time than right now! / Baby: Can we do it tomorrow Jeffrey? TV is on! / Weedmaster P: SOD OFF / Weedmaster P: WHAT'S THE POINT OF A REVOLUTION ANYWAY IT AIN'T LIKE WE CAN DO ANY BETTER / Jeffrey Rowland: But our leaders are corrupt and maniacal! / Baby: If we have the Revolution TV won't be on no more 'cause folks will be scared of the fear! / Weedmaster P: BUDDY IF WE TAKE OVER YOU'RE GONNA WANT TO RE-EVALUATE YOUR DEFINITIONS OF "CORRUPT" AND "MANIACAL" / Jeffrey Rowland: Oh... I didn't think about that. / Baby: The television will not be revolutionized!
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060905.html
The Time Tinkerer Baby: hey, remember when Weedmaster P went back in time and started changin' history only we couldn't tell the difference 'cause to us it's exactly the same n' normal? / Jeffrey Rowland: Yeah! Whatever happened with that anyways? / Narrator: 2001... / Weedmaster P: JEFFREY TAKE THIS MAN TAKE THIS HORRIBLE THING AWAY FROM ME / Jeffrey Rowland: Is this... is this a time machine? / Jeffrey Rowland: Do you know if this can also make me invisible and when Marilyn Monroe was alive?
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060906.html
Browsed Tabbing Vermont Pete: What are you doing? Like, what are you looking at? / Jeffrey Rowland: I'm trying to solve the mystery of the Oklahoma Girl Scout Murders of 1977. / Vermont Pete: Dark. / Vermont Pete: What do you have open in all those other tabs? / Jeffrey Rowland: I'm also thinkin' about maybe gettin' a personalized license plate. / Jeffrey Rowland: Nothing says "I filled out a form and paid an additional fee" like a personalized license plate. / Vermont Pete: Does that other tab say "recovering sluts?" / Jeffrey Rowland: Yes. / Vermont Pete: Neat.
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060907.html
The Way... Of The Master! Jeffrey: Wow! Kirk Cameron! What have you been up to for the last 20 years? / Kirk Cameron: A Wonderful thing, Jeffrey. It's called The Way Of The Master! / Kirk Cameron: Without any background in science, I've disproven evolution using only the facts in a book written hundreds of years before people realized the world was spherical! / Jeffrey: Wait... Doesn't the word "Master" kind of imply there's some slavery going on? / Kirk Cameron: Hey - if you don't believe me, former teen heart-throb Kirk Cameron, I have an impish British sidekick guy to lend an air of legitimacy! / Impish Sidekick: He's right! / Kirk Cameron: See?!
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060908.html
Five Years [[Jeffrey shirtless]] / Jeffrey (thought bubble): Why does it feel like I'm forgetting something today? / [[weedmaster P & Baby both wearing stylized fireman outfits with american flags on them]] / Weedmaster P: HAPPY SEPTEMBER ELEVENTH DAY DICKBAG / Baby: 1,826 days without a major domestic terrorist attack! / Weedmaster P: NEVER FORGET / {{weedmaster P almost always speaks in all caps}} / Jeffrey: My God! September 11th? It's my sister Mashley's 16th birthday! / [[airport. Jeffrey still shirtless]] / ticket saleswoman: Let me get this straight... you want a last-minute, one-way ticket to Oklahoma City on 9-11 and you're drunk, half-naked and carrying a tube of hair wax? / Jeffrey: This day is very important to my people. I must go. / [[Jeffrey in an orange jumpsuit, being led away by security or police, head downcast.]] / Panel Label: LATER / [[the Rowland homestead in Oklahoma. Mashley speaking to phone.]] / Panel Label: Later, in Oklahoma... / Mashley: Mmm-Yello? / [[prison, phone being held up so Jeffrey can speak into it]] / Jeffrey: Mashley, it's Jeffrey. I'm sorry I couldn't make it to your birthday. I was gonna buy you a car but I made a huge mistake. / [[the Rowland homestead in Oklahoma. Mashley speaking to phone.]] / Mashley: That's okay, Jeffrey! I know you love me and that's all that matters to me.
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