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Nintendope Narrator: The Bangles - Walk Like an Egyptian / Zombie Jeffrey: Yello? / Weedmaster P: JEFF NINTENDO IS TOTALLY ABOUT WEED / Weedmaster P: IN RESIDENT EVIL THE WAY YOU GET POWER IS YOU TAKE A GREEN HERB / Zombie Jeffrey: I died. / Weedmaster P: ALSO IN MARIO GOLF TOADSTOOL TOUR THERE IS A LEVEL WHERE...
Green Trash Fantasies Baby: Jeffrey, you look like shit and you stink like rot! / Zombie Jeffrey: NYAARRGH / Baby: And that damn cat ehn't moved since you brung 'im home except to drink our booze when we ehn't lookin'! / Baby: Jeffrey, ever since you died I feel like we're... WHITE TRASH! / Zombie Jeffrey: I'm green....
The Stars of Ninja Rodeo Jeffrey: I figured it was high time to start up a NINJA RODEO! / Jeffrey [[Voiceover]]: It's like a regular rodeo except instead of cowboys you use ninjas to kill the horses. / Baby: Jeffrey, the objective of a rodeo ehn't to kill horses! It's to tie up pigs quickly and such. / Jeffrey: Kinky! ...
Oui Oui Weedmaster P: SON OF A BITCH SOMEBODY HACKED INTO MY SIDEKICK / Jeffrey: Who is this? Who keeps calling me and moaning and hangin up?! / Paris Hilton: Jeffrey, it's Paris. I hacked Weedmaster P's phone to get your number. / Jeffrey: Hello again, Paris Hilton. / Paris Hilton: Hi! / {{Mouseover...
Alcoholism Is Hilarious Jeffrey: Drinkin' booze makes you drunk and that slows down your metabolism. / Jeffrey: To fight off this effect, your brain tells your body to go totally buck wild and do anything crazy to burn calories. / Jeffrey [[Voiceover]]: I don't have to drink to have a good time. I just have to drink....
 
JED 0001: Jedi Fundamentals Jeffrey: I decided to take this Jedi course down at the community college! / Narrator: LATER / Green Alien Teacher Thing: That's about all you need to know. Next week I'll throw things at you. / [[The board behind him states: The Force - Flows through you. Use it. Something about Midichlorians.]]...
I Ain't BS'n Jeffrey: Baby, remember when I told you I invented a machine that produced unlimited, free energy? / Baby: I remember, Jeffrey. / [[Jeffrey and Baby lying in the grass is inset on a monitor with audio as army guy looks away to report.]] / Jeffrey: I was just bullshittin'. I didn't do that. / Army...
Laser Swords Jeffrey: Hey there, Weedmaster P! / Baby: Holla! / Weedmaster P: THROW DOWN PUNK ASS / Weedmaster P: I HEARD YOU WAS ROLLIN WITH THE DARK SIDE NOW / Weedmaster P: THAT SHIT DO NOT FLY, HOSS / [[Weedmaster P pulls out a laser sword that is not a lightsaber because they are copywritten.]] / [[Jeffrey...
Butteriffic Baby: Jeffrey, I'm back from the Wal Marts! / Jeffrey: Oh, good, baby. Did you get me my deodorant? I'm gettin' all fun-kay. / [[Baby's voiceover takes place over a shot of new Orville Redenbacher's Butter Surprise Anti-Perspirant/Deodorant.]] / Baby [[Voiceover]]: They didn't have your regular brand....
Hack The Planet Jeffrey: If you get really good at the Inter Net you can become a hacker! / Jeffrey: Hackers are like pirates except instead of treasure they steal information and instead of raping they bother people. / Jeffrey: Joanna, do you want to hear my song about hacking? / Jeffrey: Today's Tom Sawyer he...
 
Born on Death Row Jeffrey: It's hard to make up jokes and not come off as a total jackass. / Jeffrey: Okay, Baby, how's this one? A womb and a guillotine are at a bar. They realize they have a lot in common since birth itself is kind of a death sentence. / [[Baby is stalking mercilessly forward with a fork.]] / [[Jeffrey...
We Have Guts Jeffrey [[Thought Bubble]]: Endocrinology... Cholesterol... Heart surgery.... / Jeffrey: Aw dammit I'm thinkin' about my guts again! / Jeffrey: Baby, I can't stop thinkin' about stuff goin' wrong in my guts. / Baby: Weedmaster P called. He sounded drunk and scared. / Jeffrey: What up, Gangsta?...
Mee Squee Jeffrey <>: Oh, Joanna, the cat I found in Hell, Oh you drink all of my alcohol but still you're kinda swell! / Joanna: Mee squee / Jeffrey: Baby, Joanna just said a word! / Baby: Why don't you take that cat back to Hell where you got it, Jeffrey! / [[A close up of Joanna tucked under Jeffrey's...
It Is My Job Jeffrey [[Thought Bubble]]: Do people want to see a comic today or do they want an ad for my new t-shirts? Think, you magnificent bastard! THINK! / [[A long panel shows "The Joanna" and "The Limocopter" t-shirts designs. The top says "NEW T-SHIRTS!" and a ribbon states "Only at Topatoco!"]] / {{Mouseover...
Supply and Demand [[Jeffrey sits behind a sign stating "Watch me eat! $5"]] / [[A redheaded woman passes by covering her mouth as if laughing.]] / [[Jeffrey is writing on the sign.]] / [[Jeffrey is now behind the sign which has the 5 crossed out and a 10 written after the crossed out 5.]] / {{Mouseover text: We'll...
 
Carlos Chaos Jeffrey: At times it seems my only friend is chaos... / Baby: Actually Jeffrey, you messed up. Your best friend ehn't Chaos, it's Carlos. / Jeffrey: Carlos? / Carlos: I don't trust you. / {{Mouseover text: We'll all be portions for foxes.}}
X Master X Jeffrey: Hey, there's Weedmaster P! / Baby: And his friend! / Weedmaster P: THINK GREEN MOTHER BITCHES / Weedmaster P: YO THIS IS MY COUSIN KRACKMASTA K. SHE IS IN TROUBLE. / Krackmasta K: IF I EAT SOLID FOOD I WILL INSTANTLY DIE. / Jeffrey: How is Weedmaster P related to one Olsen girl but not the...
Orgy of Pain Jeffrey [[In a yellow text bubble indicating that his voice comes from nowhere]]: BABY! BABY! BAAYBY! / Baby: Jeffrey, where are you? / Jeffrey [[Same text bubble]]: I'm smack in the middle of an orgy of pain! / Jeffrey [[More yellow]]: I was doing some spells and now I'm like in the Spirit World...
Catcoon Baby: EEEK! Jeffrey, what is that? / Jeffrey: My God. It is CATCOON. / Jeffrey [[Voiceover]]: It is said that when a man who is dressed as a raccoon makes love to a cat, CATCOON is born. / Jeffrey: SICK HIM, JOANNA! / Jeffrey: Stick and move! Or just get up, Joanna! / {{Mouseover text: Unicorns...
A Brand New Pen! Jeffrey: My new $50 brush pen! / Jeffrey: I gotta get to Home Depot so I can build something for my pen! / Jeffrey: Let's see what this little bastard can do. / [[A closeup of the paper, Jeff's shaky hand writing "SATAN IS MY MASTER"]] / Jeffrey: NOO! / {{Mouseover text: IT IS LIKE DRAWING...
 
Revenge of the Catcoon Jeffrey [[Voiceover]]: My cat was no match for Catcoon. I needed to make a serious plan using my satanic pen. / Jeffrey [[Voiceover]]: It is said that the rattle of Catcoon's maracas is a death rattle. I did not intend to die today. / Jeffrey [[Voiceover]]: Today, something else was going to die....
The Fairy of Actual Nickels Jeffrey: Damn, if I had a nickel for every time I saw a crazy old woman yelling at a dog, I'd be a quadrillionaire. / Fairy of Actual Nickels: Ahem. / Fairy of Actual Nickels: I am the Fairy of Actual Nickels, here to grant your wish, adjusted for reality. $41.65 in nickels. Enjoy. / Jeffrey...
Pimp Juice Jeffrey [[Voiceover]]: Weedmaster P insisted I try this new energy drink called "Pimpjuice." / Weedmaster P: IT IS INSANELY OUTRAGEOUS / Jeffrey: It was tasty, yet I couldn't identify the strange aftertaste. / Weedmaster P: ALL I WANT TO DO NOW IS BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF A PROSTITUTE. / Jeffrey: I...
The Culture of Death Jeffrey [[Voiceover]]: I woke up this morning in the usual manner. / Jeffrey [[Thought Bubble]]: I am going to die. / Jeffrey [[Thought Bubble]]: It's time to invent the Culture of Death. / Baby: Jeffrey, you're gonna get in trouble! / Jeffrey: What are they going to do? Kill me? / {{Mouseover...
Twice Removed Cousin of Catcoon [[Catcoon lurks in the window behind Joanna as she lay prone as usual.]] / [[Catcoon is standing behind Joanna and shaking its maracas.]] / Jeffrey: Baby, have you seen Joanna? I found this really cool rock- / Baby: I killed her with my mind. / {{Mouseover Text: Illegitimate Bastard Cousin of Ca...
 
Mitch Died Baby: Jeffrey, I just read that Mitch Hedberg died! / Jeffrey: NO! / [[Jeffrey is standing in a noose on a chair.]] / Baby: Jeffrey, don't do it! / Jeffrey: Baby I have to go back to the Land of the Dead to save Mitch Hedberg and my cat that you killed with your mind! / Baby: Jeffrey, I didn't...
I See Dead People Jeff: Joanna?! Mitch Hedberg?! Helloooo! / Mitch: Hey Jeffrey / Jeff: Mitch Hedberg! What happened man? Have you seen my cat around here? / Mitch: I died all of a sudden. And no. / Mitch: You mist give me time to answer / Mitch: Also nobody cares that I have died. Everybody is making pies for a lady...
Where Is Joanna? Jeff: Mitch Hedberg, can't you come back to America with me? / Mitch: Sorry, Jeffrey. I am dead for real. Peace. / Jeff: I'm starting to think my cat isn't in the land of the Dead at all! Baby lied to me! / [[The Pope is riding an elephant draped with a blanket labelled 'J.C.']] / The Pope: Jesus totally...
The Hose Again Jeffery: Baby, I'm back from the dead! / Baby: Oh good! I'm starving. Let's go to Miami Rick's! / Jeffrey: Miami Rick is a liar. He isn't even from Miami. / Baby: He's been there!... Hey, what is this? / Jeffrey: It's a ransom note for Joanna! / Baby: How... how can you tell? / No time to...
Weedmaster Bloodhound Baby: How do you know the Catcoon kidnapped Joanna? / Jeffrey: A man just knows things. / Baby: Why are we at Weedmaster P's house? / Jeffrey: He has a special power. / Weedmaster P: I CAN SMELL ONE OUNCE OF CHRONIC IN A CITY THE SIZE OF DALLAS. / {{Mouseover text: Weedmaster P is like a shark that...
 

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