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| Monday, September 07, 2009 | Man: I'm here to start digitizing your collection!
/ Dewey: With a tanning bed? / Man: It's a scanner. I bought it at a yard sale. My wife told me to get out of the house. / Man: I'm unemployed.
/ Dewey: Do tell. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090907 |
| Tuesday, September 08, 2009 | Dewey: What's your plan, exactly?
/ Man: [[plugging in giant scanner]] I'm going to scan your books and charge for accessing them on my website! / Dewey: That's quite the idea.
/ Man: Well I have a lot of time to think. / Dewey: It's also completely illegal.
/ Man: Information wants to be free. So I can sell it. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090908 |
| Wednesday, September 09, 2009 | Man: I heard that big companies are scanning library books!
/ Dewey: Old, rare, orphaned, or out-of-copyright books. / Man: Lead me to them!
/ Dewey: We don't have any.
/ All we have are piles of past best sellers. / [[Dewey hands the man a box labelled vampires!]]
/ Man: Can I scan those?
/ Dewey: No. But you're welcome to shingle your house with them. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090909 |
| Thursday, September 10, 2009 | Man: So if my scanner worked...
/ Dewey: ...which it doesn't... / Man...I could only scan what no one wants to read...
/ Dewey: ... books in the public domain... / Man: ...which you don't have anyway. So what should I do?
/ Dewey: [[Turning his screen to face the man]] Let me show you our free database of fishing magazines! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090910 |
| Friday, September 11, 2009 | Man: I saw you admiring my scanner.
/ Tamara: It's a fire hazard. / Man: Into old computer parts?
/ Tamara: I try to create a safe environment here in the library. / Man: Would you like to see my collection of obsolete peripherals.
/ Tamara: I'm going to go be polite to someone else for awhile. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090911 |
| Saturday, September 12, 2009 | Library tip #62: seek help early / Dewey: [[looking over computer victim's shoulder]] That's a pretty color of blue.
/ Computer victim: That was my resume. / Computer victim: I pulled out my jump drive, but not until the screen started flashing. Which was after the font turned into Chinese and before, no, DURING, the buzzing. / Dewey: You need to start over.
/ Computer victim: And lose all my work? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090912 |
| Sunday, September 13, 2009 | {{The Unshelved Bookclub presents: The Giggler Treatment by Roddy Doyle with drawings by Brian Ajhar.}} / Dewey: Mister Mack, biscuit tester at the biscuit factory, was walking to the train station.
/ Tamara: THIS is your favorite kid's book?
/ Dewey: His shoe headed for the dog poo on the path.
/ Tamara: Now I know why you like it. / [[Man's shoe hovers above dog poo]]. < http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090913 |
| Monday, September 14, 2009 | Man: It's not fair that you get holidays off.
/ Just when I'm free to use the library, it's closed!
/ You should be open when I'M available. / Man: Who are you calling?
/ Dewey: [[On the phone]] Is this the observatory? Exciting news. I found the center of the universe! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090914 |
| Tuesday, September 15, 2009 | Dewey: Of course we're here to accommodate you.
/ What should we be doing differently? / Man: Well... you close too early.
/ Dewey: Be more specific. / Man: Can you stay open until 8 or 9?
/ Dewey: Don't ASK me. TELL me. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090915 |
| Wednesday, September 16, 2009 | [[Dewey is behind the desk, and a man stands in front of it.]] / Dewey: [[writing]] Mondays 6PM-7PM. Fridays 10PM-11PM. Next Thursday at 4:18 PM for a few minutes.
/ And you'll let me know about the week after that. / Dewey: It will be inconvenient, but I'm going to tell my boss to completely rework my schedule around yours. / Man: That's crazy. What about all of these OTHER people?
/ Dewey: They call that a moment of clarity. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090916 |
| Thursday, September 17, 2009 | Merv: [[Holds up a sheet of paper.]] I found this on the printer.
/ Dewey: What is it? / Merv: For all we know, classified information.
/ Dewey: Then hand it over. / Merv: What's it worth to you?
/ Dewey: Not even the time this conversation has taken. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090917 |
| Friday, September 18, 2009 | Buddy: I didn't print that.
/ Merv: Someone did. It may contain their deepest darkest secrets. / Buddy: Haven't you looked at it?
/ Merv: I'm offering you exclusive rights. / Buddy: I'm not falling for THAT one again.
/ Merv: How about SUPER-exclusive rights?
/ Buddy: Sold! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090918 |
| Saturday, September 19, 2009 | Buddy: [[Hands a piece of paper to Mel.]] Someone found it on the printer.
/ Mel: Leave it at the front desk for them to claim.
/ But don't look at it - it might be private. / Man: I'm looking for a printout I made.
/ Buddy: Can you describe it?
/ Man: It's a printout.
/ Buddy: This is your lucky day! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090919 |
| Sunday, September 20, 2009 | {{Scipio and Reagan are characters from Iron Spike's webcomic Templar Arizona}}
/ [[Scipio looks at a pair of books with consternation, Reagan looks over his shoulder with wry delight, pointing at the books.]]
/ Scipio: Wow.
/ I didn't think Kingdom Come carried any books without centerfolds.
/ {{Kingdom Come is the name of the porn/gun/liquor store where Reagan works}}
/ Reagan: Whadda you, kiddin' me? Jan Bondeson's perfect fer this joint! / [[Close up of Reagan holding up the book Buried Alive, by Jan Bondeson; a shrouded body opening the lid of a coffin.]]
/ Reagan: This one's m' favorite, no contest. / [[Reagan explains avidly, arms spread, palms up, against a background of dirt with a screaming man in a coffin outline shown; loose bones and rocks are scattered about.]]
/ Reagan: Back inna day, there weren't no real good ways t'tell when a guy was DEAD, yanno?
/ So like th' whole world was scared-a wakin' up inna COFFIN.
/ They was makin' special tombs, torturin' corpses t'make sure they was dead...
/ Even built big morgues t'lay stiffs out in 'til they got ROTTEN. / [[Reagan looks slyly pleased.]]
/ Reagan: An' it's ALL REAL. / [[Scipio looks at Reagan, eyes huge and distressed, as she reads.]]
/ Scipio: God.
/ That is actually worse than pornography.
/ Reagan: Turns out I really dig history.
/ Who'da thunk? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090920 |
| Monday, September 21, 2009 | Owen: I'm looking for a book for my friend here.
/ Desmond: I've got plenty of books. / Owen: All by the same six authors.
/ Desmond: I don't have a problem with that. / Owen: Variety is the spice of life.
/ Desmond: Says the man who thinks ketchup is "too zesty".
/ Dewey: I'm just going to take a break, but don't stop on my account. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090921 |
| Tuesday, September 22, 2009 | Dewey: What sort of books do you like?
/ Desmond: The ones I own. / Dewey: And what sort of books do you own?
/ Desmond: The ones I like. / Dewey: I don't think your friend...
/ Owen: SPACE TANKS. He likes books about women who drive space tanks.
/ Desmond: There's more to them than that! / Copyright 2009 Bill Barnes, Gene Ambaum, and Paul Southworth http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090922 |
| Wednesday, September 23, 2009 | Dewey: Books about women who drive space battleships?
/ Desmond: I have them, too. / Dewey: Space Barges?
/ Desmond: Complete collection. / Dewey: I'll be honest. I didn't know this genre was so popular.
/ Desmond: Some people say it should include space trawlers, but they're wrong.
/ DEAD WRONG. / Guest artist Paul Southworth http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090923 |
| Thursday, September 24, 2009 | Dewey: What do you do for a living?
/ Desmond: I write software. / Dewey: Many programmers enjoy the works of Neal Stephenson [[hands over a copy of Snow Crash]]
/ Desmond: Are there any...? / Dewey: There's a girl who rides a skateboard by harpooning minivans.
/ Desmond: Hmm! Promising. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090924 |
| Friday, September 25, 2009 | Owen: Thanks for helping Desmond find a book.
/ Dewey: What about you? / Desmond: [[laughing]] Oh no, no. I'm good. Always filling up the old noggin with premium unleaded. Halfway through Proust's latest. / Dewey: [[looks dismayed. Offers a comic book.]] This one has funny pictures.
/ Desmond: HA! He hates Mondays! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090925 |
| Saturday, September 26, 2009 | Woman: So nice to see the Digerati in a brick building enjoying PAPER BOOKS! / Desmond: Thanks! I just ordered this online for my eBook reader! [[hands back a copy of Snow Crash to Dewey.]] / Woman: Still, people will always need libraries.
/ Old man: Where's the bathroom / {{guest artist: Paul Southworth}} http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090926 |
| Sunday, September 27, 2009 | NARRATOR: You're a young creative professional ready to produce art to make a living.
/ ARTIST: [dressed in shirt, holding artwork] Sigh. / NARRATOR: Yet surprisingly, your art school did not provide any business classes.
/ ARTIST: [dressed as a homeless person, holding cardboard sign- "Will Work 4 Food"] Sigh. / NARRATOR: To help, the Guild produces The Graphic Artists Guild Handbook: Pricing and Ethical Guidelines.
/ GUILD WOMAN: Just call it the pegs.
/ ARTIST: [reading handbook] I can't charge these prices.
/ GUILD WOMAN: Yes you can.
/ GUILD MAN: Dude, those *are* the *low* prices. [aside] Kids these days. / NARRATOR: Artsy types can learn what standard business practices are and how to apply them to the benefit of clients and themselves. Such as... / NARRATOR: The power of negotiation.
/ ARTIST: You want it when? / NARRATOR: How copyright protects your creative rights.
/ DOG [with copyright symbol]: Grr!
/ PERSON [off frame]: Nice doggy. / NARRATOR: And why you don't build a house without a blueprint.
/ ARTIST: [holds contract, points with pen] Sign. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090927 |
| Monday, September 28, 2009 | Dewey: I'm going for coffee.
/ Colleen: No one *else* leaves the building for coffee. / Dewey: Everyone else *likes* it here.
/ Colleen: Well it's not like I sleep in the reference stacks. / Colleen: ...except that one time.
/ Dewey: [[Hooks Colleen's arm]] We're going for coffee. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090928 |
| Monday, September 28, 2009 | [[Dewey pointing over his shoulder with his thumb. Colleen working at a computer]]
/ Dewey: I'm Going for Coffee
/ Colleen: No one else leaves the building for coffee. / [[Dewey folds his arms across his chest. Colleen continues to work at the computer.]]
/ Dewey: Everyone else likes it here.
/ Colleen: Well it's not like I sleep in the reference stacks. / [[Dewey links his elbow through Colleen's, and starts to pull her away.
/ Colleen has her other hand on her chin.
/ Colleen: ... Except that one time.
/ Dewey: We're going for coffee. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090928the |
| Tuesday, September 29, 2009 | [[at the coffee shop]] / Dewey: I can't believe this is your first time!
/ Colleen: Do I look like someone who would pay $4 for coffee? / Dewey: Well then this one's on me.
/ Colleen: I'd like a double tall half-caf skinny capuccino. / Dewey: I can't believe this is your first time!
/ Colleen: I'm a LIBRARIAN. I did RESEARCH. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090929 |
| Wednesday, September 30, 2009 | Colleen: We're not rushing back?
/ Dewey: I usually talk books with the other customers. / Dewey: But today you and I can talk about the library!
/ Colleen: That sounds like work. / Dewey: Don't you want to hear about my plan to sabotage the internet?
/ Colleen: I'm in. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090930 |
| Thursday, October 01, 2009 | Dewey: [[To Mel]] I introduced Colleen to the affordable decadence that is good coffee.
/ Colleen: We talked about being librarians. / Dewey: We're more aligned now.
/ Colleen: It turns out we have many common enemies. / Mel: You're not allowed to spend time together anymore.
/ [[Dewey looks disgruntled.]]
/ Colleen: Good. Because it's my turn to buy. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20091001 |
| Friday, October 02, 2009 | Woman: [[to Colleen]] Large print books give me a real sense of ACCOMPLISHMENT! / Woman: I can read a page almost as fast as I can turn it. / [[Colleen has left.]]
/ Woman: I'm the fastest reader in the building.
/ The city!
/ The WORLD!!!
/ [[Turning pages < http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20091002 |
| Saturday, October 03, 2009 | [[A girl is playing with a stuffed dog]]
/ Mom: [[to Tamara]] I want her to stop playing with that. / [[Tamara has the stuffed dog.]]
/ Mom: Now I want her to stop screaming. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20091003 |
| Sunday, October 04, 2009 | [[Dewey is holding a book and talking to Mel.]]
/ Dewey: A young foreign student is found murdered in Beszel.
/ Dewey: Inspector Tyador Borlu of the Extreme Crime Squad assumes she was killed in Ul Quoma and transported illegally across the border.
/ Dewey: It should be the responsibility of the mysterious Breach, but Borlu stays on the case, traveling back and forth across the border, investigating in both cities. / Mel: It's an international mystery?
/ Dewey: Yes, but also science fiction: Beszel and Ul Quoma occupy the same geographic space.
/ Dewey: Some streets, shops, and parks belong to one or the other, some to both.
/ Mel: How can that possibly work?
/ Dewey: Inhabitants of one city "unsee" those of the other. If they don't, Breach deals with them. / The City and the City by China Mieville / Mel: I'm confused.
/ Dewey: So are tourists. They must undergo extensive training before being allowed into either city.
/ Dewey: But it gets worse. Because Borlu finds out that there may be a third city that exists between and among the other two. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20091004 |
| Monday, October 05, 2009 | Man: What's good about Japanese comics?
/ Dewey: Manga isn't for everyone. / Man: My teens love them. I mean LOVE them.
/ Dewey: You can't like everything your kids like. / Man: I need to be able to put on a good act.
/ Dewey: I go with the truth, but everyone needs a different shtick. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20091005 |
| Tuesday, October 06, 2009 | Dewey: I'm sure we can find a manga you'd like.
/ Man: Pink ink makes my eyes feel like they're bleeding. / Man: I also hate big eyes, big heads, sweat, ghosts, fantasy, fight scenes, sexual innuendo... / Man: Boy-boy romances, historical fiction ...
/ Dewey: I'm going to get coffee. This might be a long night. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20091006 |
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