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| Wednesday, March 11, 2009 | {{In Love with Twitter}}
/ [[Dewey is at the computer]]
/ Colleen: [[standing directly behind Dewey, making quotation marks with her fingers]]: What *IS* "Twitter"?
/ Dewey: Microblogging. / [[Dewey faces Colleen]]
/ Colleen: [[crosses arms]] Must you define gobbledegook with *more* Gobbledegook?
/ Dewey: Short, frequent notes, as opposed to occasional longer posts. / [[Dewey returns to the computer]]
/ Colleen: Is that more work or less?
/ Dewey: It's more immediate.
/ Colleen: Is that more work or less? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090311 |
| Wednesday, March 11, 2009 | Colleen: What is "twitter"?
/ Dewey: Microblogging. / Colleen: Must you define Gobbledegook with *more* Gobbledegook?
/ Dewey: Short frequent notes, as opposed to occasional longer posts. / Colleen: Is that *more* work or *less*?
/ Dewey: It's more *immediate*.
/ Colleen: Is that *more* work or *less*? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090311. |
| Thursday, March 12, 2009 | {{I love Twitter}}
/ {{The entire strip, except the last line, is a series of tweets between Dewey and Colleen}} / [[Colleen/Doreen avatar]]
/ largelibrarian: I don't get twitter [[6 minutes ago from web]]
/ [[Dewey avatar]]
/ deweymls: @largelibrarian Just say what's on your mind. [[4 minutes ago from web]]
/ [[Colleen/Doreen avatar]]
/ largelibrarian: Some people have really bad breath [[4 minutes ago from web]]
/ [[Dewey avatar]]
/ Deweymls: @largelibrarian Good! Now try to focus more on your current experience [[3 minutes ago from web]] / [[Colleen/Doreen avatar]]
/ largelibrarian: @deweymls I am. [[2 minutes ago from web]]
/ [[Dewey avatar]]
/ deweymla: @largelibrarian Don't worry, eventually you'll pick up the nuances [[1 minute ago from web]]
/ [[In the library]]
/ Colleen and Dewey stand back to back. Colleen glares over her shoulder at Dewey with a clothes pin on her nose while Dewey, oblivious to his own halitosis, types away]] < http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090312 |
| Friday, March 13, 2009 | [[Dewey is sitting at his computer]]
/ Dewey: I've found an online circle of like-minded librarians to complain with!
/ Tamara: What is there to complain about on a day like this?
/ Patron: Your copy machine won't let me upload my follicles to the war zone! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090313 |
| Saturday, March 14, 2009 | Library Tip #56: Take it up with the manager / Patron: Get me the manager!
/ Dewey: She hates complaints / Dewey: [[pointing]] She'll get back at us by scheduling my shifts when you're most likely to come in.
/ And *neither* of us wants *that*. / [[The patron has gone.]]
/ Mel: It's so *quiet* today!
/ Dewey: Let's keep it that way. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090314 |
| Sunday, March 15, 2009 | The Unshelved Bookclub Presents: The Irredeemable Ant-Man by Robert Kirkman, Phil Hester, and Ande Parks. / [[In the background image, a human-sized merv reaches past a computer terminal to point at an ant-sized Dewey, who is lounging under the screen, against its base]] / Dewey: What would you do with a super-suit?
/ As Ant-Man, Eric O'Grady can shrink to a tiny size, float on the slightest breeze, and command an army of six-legged soldiers.
/ He saves a damsel in distress!
/ (then hits on her afterwards)
/ He defeats a master thief!
/ (then takes the loot for himself.
/ He joins a super team!
/ (then runs away from battles)
/ Eric's not much of a superhero.
/ In fact, he's not much of a man.
/ He tries to steal his best friend's girl.
/ Later, his cowardice causes that same friend's death.
/ The costume isn't even his, and the real owners are hot on his trail.
/ Eric will have to fight for the right to lurk, unobserved, on the shower doors of unsuspecting women everywhere! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090315 |
| Monday, March 16, 2009 | {{Homeschooler blues}} / [[grouchy maternal figure confronts Sanjay]]
/ Grouchy MF: Young man, why aren't you at school?
/ Sanjay: I am / Grouchy MF: Are you *Sassing* me?
/ Sanjay: I don't think so, but I'll get a dictionary so I can be sure. / Grouchy MF: I'm calling the *Truancy Officer*!
/ Sanjay: Then you'll have to dial 1957, because I don't think they have those anymore. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090316 |
| Tuesday, March 17, 2009 | {{Homeschooler Blues}}
/ [[Angry maternal figure confronts Dewey at the desk.]] / Angry MF: What are you doing about the juvenile delinquent?
/ Dewey: Which one? / Angry MF: Him! He should be in school!
/ Dewey: Oh, Sanjay is Homeschooled. / Angry MF: But ... he's not home!
/ Dewey: Neither are you, but I'm not complaining.
/ Well, not to your face, anyway. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090317 |
| Wednesday, March 18, 2009 | {{The Homeschooler Blues}} / [[Merv and Sanjay in the background look at Angery Maternal Figure in the foreground.]]
/ Merv: Is that her?
/ Sanjay: She wouldn't believe I was homeschooled. / Merv: Why didn't you show her your homeschool I.D.?
/ Sanjay: No such thing. / [[Merv develops a calculating smile and puts a thoughtful hand to his chin.]]
/ Sanjay: [[Clasps hands]] Please don't get me in trouble. Again. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090318 |
| Thursday, March 19, 2009 | Merv: I forgot to tell you. I'm homeschooled now.
/ Dewey: Oh yeah? What's your homeschool's mascot?
/ Sanjay: I sense a trick question. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090319 |
| Friday, March 20, 2009 | {{Homeschooler Blues}} / Dewey: [[Holding phone to his chest]] Your Mom denies homeschooling you.
/ Merv: I'm self-homeschooled. / Dewey: That's not really an option.
/ Merv.: Sanjay is lonely. He needs me. / [[Table with homeschooling group, where Sanjay and another girl are both raising their hands]]
/ Dewey: [[offstage]] Are we talking about the same person?
/ Teacher: Who can tell me who started the Peloponnesian War? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090320 |
| Saturday, March 21, 2009 | Merv: Well, time for me to go back to school.
/ Sanjay: Me too. / [[Merv leaves whilst Sanjay stays in the library.]] / Dewey: Any regrets?
/ Sanjay: Can't beat the commute. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090321 |
| Sunday, March 22, 2009 | {{Guest strip copyright Chris Eliopoulos www.miserylovessherman.com}} / The Unshelved Bookclub Presents: Street Gang The Complete History of Sesame Street. / Benny: Cookies! / [[Eating]]< http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090322 |
| Monday, March 23, 2009 | [[At the ref desk.]]
/ Dewey: I've got nothing to do.
/ Tamara: You might learn something by joining a work-related Listserv or Message Board.
/ Dewey: I think I experience enough conflict.
/ [[Near the desk]]
/ Man:You put *mustard* on my sandwich!
/ Woman: You weren't supposed to eat that until you were at *work*! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090323 |
| Tuesday, March 24, 2009 | Mel: Look! A work-related periodical!
/ Dewey: So it is. / Mel: You're not moving to pick it up.
/ Dewey: Be satisfied that I'm not leaving. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090324 |
| Wednesday, March 25, 2009 | [[At the ref desk. Dewey is filing his nails.]]
/ Mel: This behavior is unacceptable.
/ Dewey: You mean "Lack of behavior." / Mel: Go out in the stacks! Seek out a patron!
/ Dewey: [[checks his nails]] I've sought. No one needs help. / Mel: Then do something in back!
/ Dewey: And abandon my post? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090325 |
| Thursday, March 26, 2009 | Dewey: We're just not given enough time to think as professionals. People and paperwork get in the way. / Dewey: So I thought I'd just sit here and try to figure things out while I had a free minute.
/ And you know what? I had a great idea! / Mel: Let me hear it!
/ Dewey: Now you made me forget it. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090326 |
| Friday, March 27, 2009 | [[At the ref desk]]
/ Elderly patron: You look bored
/ Dewey: It's not just a look / Elderly patron: You need some fresh air! Or a vitamin supplement.
/ Dewey: I need someone to ask me a question. / Dewey: Do..do *you* have a question?
/ Elderly patron. Sorry, just hackneyed advice.
/ Exercise!
/ Floss! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090327 |
| Saturday, March 28, 2009 | [[Outside the library]]
/ Mel: [[Standing beside a pile of books]] This isn't a book drop! / Car driver: [[Adds a book to the pile]] The evidence belies your assertion. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090328 |
| Sunday, March 29, 2009 | The Unshelved Book Club presents Ant Farm and Other Desperate Situations by Simon Rich / [[Dewey is in the library showing the book to Kathy.]]
/ Dewey: Ant Farm and other desperate situations by Simon Rich . . . is a hard book to explain.
/ Dewey: It's FUNNY!
/ Kathy: To YOU.
/ Dewey: It's a meditation on life with lots of asides.
/ Dewey: It's sketch comedy in book form. / [[The background is a series of cartoon frames featuring scenes from the book, and Dewey summarizes the stories above each picture.]] / [[A child empties coins from a Halloween bag onto the counter]]
/ Dewey: A third grader rationalizes his desire to keep UNICEF money at Halloween. / [[An angry student confronts his teacher.]]
/ Dewey: After spending years learning arithmetic, students are introduced to the calculator.
/ Student: You . . . you knew about this machine all along, didn't you? This whole time, while we were going through this ... this CHARADE with the pencils and the line paper and the stupid MULTIPLICATION tables! / [[A soldier walks away from a basketball hoop carrying a gun while a classmate holding a basketball waves.]]
/ Dewey: Students who pass the presidential fitness test are sent to war, while those who fail are left behind to strategize. / [[Two pandas face each other in a cage]]
/ Dewey: Why panda matings fail in captivity.
/ Panda: . . . Siberia? That's pretty cool!
/ Do you have a lot of brothers and sisters there?
/ Oh, right . . . of course you don't. Sorry. / [[In the library]]
/ Dewey: Also explored: The downsides to being invisible, the problem with naming crayon colors when your relationship is in trouble, motivating ants who don't know they're in an ant farm, the impact of evolution on dating, and the joys of converting to Hinduism.
/ Kathy: You still haven't sold me on it!
/ Dewey: Good! Because now I want to read it AGAIN! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090329 |
| Sunday, March 29, 2009 | The Unshelved Book Club presents Ant Farm and Other Desperate Situations by Simon Rich / [[Dewey is in the library showing the book to Kathy.]]
/ Dewey: Ant Farm and other desperate situations by Simon Rich . . . is a hard book to explain.
/ Dewey: It's FUNNY!
/ Kathy: To YOU.
/ Dewey: It's a meditation on life with lots of asides.
/ Dewey: It's sketch comedy in book form. / [[The background is a series of cartoon frames featuring scenes from the book, and Dewey summarizes the stories above each picture.]] / [[A child empties coins from a Halloween bag onto the counter]]
/ Dewey: A third grader rationalizes his desire to keep UNICEF money at Halloween. / [[An angry student confronts his teacher.]]
/ Dewey: After spending years learning arithmetic, students are introduced to the calculator.
/ Student: You . . . you knew about this machine all along, didn't you? This whole time, while we were going through this ... this CHARADE with the pencils and the line paper and the stupid MULTIPLICATION tables! / [[A soldier walks away from a basketball hoop carrying a gun while a classmate holding a basketball waves.]]
/ Dewey: Students who pass the presidential fitness test are sent to war, while those who fail are left behind to strategize. / [[Two pandas face each other in a cage]]
/ Dewey: Why panda matings fail in captivity.
/ Panda: . . . Siberia? That's pretty cool!
/ Do you have a lot of brothers and sisters there?
/ Oh, right . . . of course you don't. Sorry. / [[In the library]]
/ Dewey: Also explored: The downsides to being invisible, the problem with naming crayon colors when your relationship is in trouble, motivating ants who don't know they're in an ant farm, the impact of evolution on dating, and the joys of converting to Hinduism.
/ Kathy: You still haven't sold me on it!
/ Dewey: Good! Because now I want to read it AGAIN! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090329 |
| Monday, March 30, 2009 | [[Tamara and Dewey behind a desk, Tamara standing, Dewey at a computer]]
/ Tamara: Do you know what I love about my job?
/ Dewey: The executive perks and fringe benefits? / Tamara: Huh?
/ Dewey: Nothing. What do you love about your job? / Tamara: People really appreciate us!
/ Angry patron: Which one of you turned my son into a *socialist?* http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090330 |
| Monday, March 30, 2009 | [[Tamara and Dewey behind a desk, Tamara standing, Dewey at a computer]]
/ Tamara: Do you know what I love about my job?
/ Dewey: The executive perks and fringe benefits? / Tamara: Huh?
/ Dewey: Nothing. What do you love about your job? / Tamara: People really appreciate us!
/ Angry patron: Which one of you turned my son into a *socialist?* http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090330 |
| Tuesday, March 31, 2009 | [[Close-up of Tamara and Angry Man]]
/ Tamara: How are you today?
/ Angry man: Not happy with any of you! / [[Tamara, Angry Man, and Dewey standing in front of bookshelf]]
/ Tamara: Let's see if we can change that!
/ Angry man: I won't fall for any of your liberal brainwashing. / Dewey: [[hands in hocus pocus mode beside his own head]] This is not the librarian your're looking for.
/ Tamara: I'll get you a cookie. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090331 |
| Tuesday, March 31, 2009 | [[Close-up of Tamara and Angry Man]]
/ Tamara: How are you today?
/ Angry man: Not happy with any of you! / [[Tamara, Angry Man, and Dewey standing in front of bookshelf]]
/ Tamara: Let's see if we can change that!
/ Angry man: I won't fall for any of your liberal brainwashing. / Dewey: [[hands in hocus pocus mode beside his own head]] This is not the librarian your're looking for.
/ Tamara: I'll get you a cookie. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090331 |
| Wednesday, April 01, 2009 | [[Angry Man standing in front of desk, Dewey seated behind it]]
/ Angry man: You exposed my son to dangerous ideas!
/ Dewey: [[Typing]] That's pretty much my job description. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090401 |
| Wednesday, April 01, 2009 | [[Angry Man standing in front of desk, Dewey seated behind it]]
/ Angry man: You exposed my son to dangerous ideas!
/ Dewey: [[Typing]] That's pretty much my job description. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090401 |
| Thursday, April 02, 2009 | [[In the stacks]]
/ Angry man [[gesticulating angrily]]: I don't have time to monitor my son every second!
/ Dewey [[busy with an armload of books]]: That's funny, neither do we. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090402 |
| Thursday, April 02, 2009 | [[In the stacks]]
/ Angry man [[gesticulating angrily]]: I don't have time to monitor my son every second!
/ Dewey [[busy with an armload of books]]: That's funny, neither do we. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090402 |
| Friday, April 03, 2009 | [[Dewey is on his knees, shelving books on the bottom of the bookshelf. An angry male patron is bending down to face him and pointing at him.]]
/ Patron: You turned my son AGAINST me!
/ Dewey: He's a TEENAGER. The odds were never in your favor. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090403 |
| Friday, April 03, 2009 | [[Dewey is on his knees, shelving books on the bottom of the bookshelf. An angry male patron is bending down to face him and pointing at him.]]
/ Patron: You turned my son AGAINST me!
/ Dewey: He's a TEENAGER. The odds were never in your favor. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090403 |
| Saturday, April 04, 2009 | Mel: What did *you* do today?
/ Dewey: Dealt with an upset parent. As you well know. / Mel: Why would you think I *knew* that?
/ Dewey: From the way you never left your office. / Mel: [[grits teeth]] I was doing *paperwork!*
/ Dewey: You were doing paperwork *S-L-O-W-L-Y*. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090404 |
| Saturday, April 04, 2009 | Mel: What did *you* do today?
/ Dewey: Dealt with an upset parent. As you well know. / Mel: Why would you think I *knew* that?
/ Dewey: From the way you never left your office. / Mel: [[grits teeth]] I was doing *paperwork!*
/ Dewey: You were doing paperwork *S-L-O-W-L-Y*. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090404 |
| Sunday, April 05, 2009 | The Unshelved Bookclub presents: Body Copy by Michael Craven / [[Background shows a man in brown slacks and a green shirt holding a pistol while surfing. Colleen and Fred stand superimposed in the foreground.]]
/ Colleen: Donald Tremaine used to be a professional surfer, the best in the world.
/ Colleen: Now, he's a private investigator who lives in a trailer park in Malibu.
/ Colleen: He was just leaving for a much-needed vacation in Australia when a beautiful divorcee showed up on his doorstep.
/ Colleen: Next thing he knew, he was investigating the death of her uncle, a world-famous ad executive.
/ Colleen: As Tremaine wades farther into the treacherous waters of the advertising world he finds it's full of sharks . . .
/ Fred: Wow, you stretched that metaphor as far as it could go.
/ Colleen: . . . and a few mermaids.
/ Fred: I stand corrected. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090405 |
| Sunday, April 05, 2009 | The Unshelved Bookclub presents: Body Copy by Michael Craven / [[Background shows a man in brown slacks and a green shirt holding a pistol while surfing. Colleen and Fred stand superimposed in the foreground.]]
/ Colleen: Donald Tremaine used to be a professional surfer, the best in the world.
/ Colleen: Now, he's a private investigator who lives in a trailer park in Malibu.
/ Colleen: He was just leaving for a much-needed vacation in Australia when a beautiful divorcee showed up on his doorstep.
/ Colleen: Next thing he knew, he was investigating the death of her uncle, a world-famous ad executive.
/ Colleen: As Tremaine wades farther into the treacherous waters of the advertising world he finds it's full of sharks . . .
/ Fred: Wow, you stretched that metaphor as far as it could go.
/ Colleen: . . . and a few mermaids.
/ Fred: I stand corrected. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090405 |
| Monday, April 06, 2009 | [[A woman points downward towards Tamara's feet.]]
/ Patron: Your socks have ANIMALS on them.
/ Tamara: Yes! / Patron: What are you, SIX YEARS OLD?
/ Tamara: Inside! / [[Woman with annoyed expression turns away from desk while Dewey looks at computer.]]
/ Patron: What does it take to get under her skin?
/ Dewey: More than YOU'VE got. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090406 |
| Monday, April 06, 2009 | [[A woman points downward towards Tamara's feet.]]
/ Patron: Your socks have ANIMALS on them.
/ Tamara: Yes! / Patron: What are you, SIX YEARS OLD?
/ Tamara: Inside! / [[Woman with annoyed expression turns away from desk while Dewey looks at computer.]]
/ Patron: What does it take to get under her skin?
/ Dewey: More than YOU'VE got. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090406 |
| Tuesday, April 07, 2009 | [[Patron in front of Desk, Tamara behind it, smiling]]
/ Patron: No one's REALLY that happy. / Patron [[pointing]]: You're working at a DESK. In a LIBRARY.
/ [[Tamara is still smiling]] / Patron [[shaking fists in anger]]: You're a LIBRARIAN, for God's Sake!
/ Tamara [[still smiling]]: Exactly! How could I be happier? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090407 |
| Tuesday, April 07, 2009 | [[Patron in front of Desk, Tamara behind it, smiling]]
/ Patron: No one's REALLY that happy. / Patron [[pointing]]: You're working at a DESK. In a LIBRARY.
/ [[Tamara is still smiling]] / Patron [[shaking fists in anger]]: You're a LIBRARIAN, for God's Sake!
/ Tamara [[still smiling]]: Exactly! How could I be happier? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090407 |
| Tuesday, April 07, 2009 | [[Patron in front of Desk, Tamara behind it, smiling]]
/ Patron: No one's REALLY that happy. / Patron [[pointing]]: You're working at a DESK. In a LIBRARY.
/ [[Tamara is still smiling]] / Patron [[shaking fists in anger]]: You're a LIBRARIAN, for God's Sake!
/ Tamara [[still smiling]]: Exactly! How could I be happier? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090407 |
| Wednesday, April 08, 2009 | {{This is a rerun of the strip originally run on February 6, 2005}} http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090408 |
| Thursday, April 09, 2009 | [[Dewey escorts an annoying woman out the door while Tamara waves]] / Annoying Woman: You can't throw me out for *bugging* her!
/ Annoying Woman: She's *waving* at me!
/ Dewey: Waving is her way of asking me to get you out of here.
/ Annoying woman: But she's still *smiling*!
/ Dewey: I interpret that as approval for your imminent departure. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090409 |
| Thursday, April 09, 2009 | [[Dewey escorts an annoying woman out the door while Tamara waves]] / Annoying Woman: You can't throw me out for *bugging* her!
/ Annoying Woman: She's *waving* at me!
/ Dewey: Waving is her way of asking me to get you out of here.
/ Annoying woman: But she's still *smiling*!
/ Dewey: I interpret that as approval for your imminent departure. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090409 |
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