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| Friday, September 12, 2008 | Dewey: As your school no longer values its library, I'm going to teach you how to fake citations on your research. / Dewey: And, as soon as we get the computers online I'll also show you where to buy term papers for a very reasonable fee. / Dewey: Basically, I'll be teaching you how to succeed. Knowledge is power!
/ Student: Where's the hidden camera? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080912 |
| Saturday, September 13, 2008 | Cathy: Good news. The school librarian position got funded after all.
/ Dewey: They just needed to see the value of the role. / Cathy: I heard you lasted less than an hour.
/ Dewey: True, my relationship with the school was short. But I like to think we parted on good terms. / [[Cathy puts the Nose & Mustache Disguise on Dewey]]
/ Dewey: What are THESE for?
/ Cathy: I still need you to come do book talks. These should get you through the front door. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080913 |
| Sunday, September 14, 2008 | The Unshelved Book Club presents Olive's Ocean by Kevin Henkes / [[A painting of a beach; a blonde girl, presumably Martha, stands at the water's edge, blonde hair whipping in the wind.]] / Tamara: Olive Barstow was a quiet loner who started attending a new school last February.
/ In July she was killed by a car while riding her bike.
/ Olive wanted to write a novel.
/ She wanted to go to the ocean.
/ And she wanted to be friends with Martha Boyle.
/ In August, Martha vacations at her grandmother's place on the Atlantic.
/ Martha's decided she wants to be a writer.
/ She and he grandmother share secrets with one another:
/ She thinks she should have been nicer to Olive, but that there may be something she can do for her. / Merv: [[as a girl goes away happily clutching a copy of the book]] SERIOUSLY? / Tamara: Not every story has explosions and car chases.
/ Merv: Well, no. That's why they have nudity and espionage. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080914 |
| Monday, September 15, 2008 | Dewey: Mel, why are you shelving books?
/ Mel: They were uneven. / Dewey: Let me rephrase: Why are YOU shelving books?
/ Mel: It took me all morning to rebind this bad boy. / Dewey: Wait, isn't next year's budget due?
/ Mel: Why can't publishers agree on a single height? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080915 |
| Tuesday, September 16, 2008 | [[Mel stands in front of a bookshelf.]]
/ Mel: See? Perfection *is* possible! / [[Mel is still in front of the bookshelf.]]
/ Mel: Every book in this section has been straightened! / [[Now we see Dewey standing behind Mel, and behind Dewey a group of people.]]
/ Dewey: That's great. And now these nice people need to get *at* those books.
/ Mel: I'm sure there are perfectly good books *elsewhere* in the library. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080916 |
| Wednesday, September 17, 2008 | Dewey: You're reading THAT!?
/ Mel: I know it's cheesy but we all have our guilty pleasures!
/ What's yours? / Dewey: Well, sometimes I like to head over by the mystery novels, and-
/ Mel: There's nothing wrong with reading a good nail biter! / Dewey: No no, I don't read them, I just walk by when other people are. And no matter what they're reading I casually say: / Dewey: Oh, that's a great book, I couldn't believe the doctor did it! / {{Guest strip by Ryan Estrada of www.ryanestrada.com}} http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080917 |
| Thursday, September 18, 2008 | Buddy: Has Mel finished arranging books?
/ Dewey: Yes. She's moved on to her office. / Buddy: Do you think she needs my help?
/ Dewey: This is only a symptom. The problem is next year's budget. / Buddy: I hear you may be looking for expertise in certain types of offshore accounts.
/ Mel: You just knocked that chair out of alignment! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080918 |
| Friday, September 19, 2008 | Mel: There's a better way to answer that reference question! / Mel: Hold that book higher! And with more verve! / Mel: If you need someone cool, I --
/ Dewey: -- Should be in your office working on spreadsheets. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080919 |
| Saturday, September 20, 2008 | Mel: You can't do this!
/ Dewey: It's the only way we can get anything done. / Mel: You're violating the fire code!
/ Dewey: I can't hear you.
/ I think your voice will be clearer once you finish next year's budget. / Mel: Let me out and I'll give your area special consideration!
/ Colleen: I think I heard something.
/ Dewey: That was my stomach. Let's go get a snack. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080920 |
| Sunday, September 21, 2008 | The Unshelved Book Club presents "Cubicle Warfare" by John Austin / Dewey: offers pranks to play on coworkers.
/ Some are playful others are just mean, but they may all be useful for getting revenge, or just making the office more interesting. / Mel: Are those CRICKETS?
/ Tamara: They're all singing to me! / Mel: We have a saboteur among us! / Dewey: It may also help you deal with other workplace trouble.
/ Try replacing the keys on a keyboard with blanks...
/ Computer Victim: How will I find new friends on FaceB--
/ [[Dewey claps]] < http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080921 |
| Monday, September 22, 2008 | Tamara: Doesn't DEWEY have desk duty?
/ Mel: There was some sort of emergency. He had to leave in a hurry. / Tamara: Maybe his grandma went to the hospital?
/ Buddy: Maybe his condo flooded?
/ Dewey: It was the last one in the store!
/ Mel: Maybe one of these days I'll learn. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080922 |
| Tuesday, September 23, 2008 | [[Dewey is holding a large box with a picture of a spaceship on it.]]
/ Dewey: It's to scale with 6" action figures. It's got smuggling compartments, an automatic boarding ramp, a training probe...
/ Merv: Cool! Let's open it up and see! / Dewey: What? And ruin it?
/ Merv: Then how do you know what's inside? / Dewey: It... I...
/ Merv: My uncle bought a new HDTV. Got home, opened it up. Sixty pounds of corn cobs. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080923 |
| Wednesday, September 24, 2008 | [[Mel and Dewey are walking, while Dewey carries a box.]] / Mel: I'm surprised you didn't take that home.
/ Dewey: I did. It didn't fit. / Mel: You mean it clashed with the decor.
/ Dewey: I mean I have so many action figures, graphic novels, and collectibles that I literally couldn't get it through the door. / Mel: Looks like you'll have to--
/ Dewey [[putting box on top of cubicle]]: Then, I realized-- Cubicle art! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080924 |
| Thursday, September 25, 2008 | [[Mel and Dewey are walking together]]
/ Mel: I don't think keeping your collectibles in the library is a good idea.
/ Dewey: You're right. It's not a good idea. It's a *great* idea! / Dewey [[alone in the panel, holding up his hands]]: Libraries are all about storing stuff! The "Dewey Collection" could be the seed of a world-famous archive of pop-culture realia! / [[Two kids run in front of Mel and Dewey with Dewey's model Millennium Falcon raised above their heads]]
/ Dewey: I can't see any downsides at all! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080925 |
| Friday, September 26, 2008 | Dewey: The first step is admitting I have a problem. / Dewey: I have more toys than I have space to keep them. But I keep buying more. / Dewey: It's time to make a choice. / Dewey: I think we should move in together. / [[Pull out. Dewey's been talking to Cathy]]
/ Cathy: You're not putting your crap in my guest room.
/ Dewey: Nevermind. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080926 |
| Saturday, September 27, 2008 | Patron: I hear it's possible to download unreleased movies.
/ Dewey: It's possible to do a lot of things that I'm not going to show you how to do. / Patron: Maybe I want to understand the technology.
/ Dewey: Maybe I want to keep my job. / Patron: I have a right to watch movies for free!
/ Dewey: The DVDs are over there. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080927 |
| Sunday, September 28, 2008 | [[Josh and Joel of the web comic HijiNKS Ensue are featured in this strip.]] / Josh: I'm worried about your brain.
/ Joel: Something... your face.
/ Josh: Exactly. You need to read more.
/ Joel: I read all the time.
/ Josh: Books? Wikipedia and LOLcats are not books.
/ Joel: Do not want book, kthxbai.
/ Joel: I swore off reading after the "Hitchhiker's Guide" trilogy. They're the only 5 books I care about. / Josh: That's why I brought you "Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency" by... wait for it... Douglas Adams!
/ Josh: It's a British-scifi-comedy-murder mystery about a broke detective, a ghost, time travel, and an alien robot that spans a few billion years.
/ Joel: Wait. "British", "time travel", "robot", "years". This sounds like Doctor Who. / Josh: Actually Adams created several of the book's characters for Doctor Who in the late 70's. So it's got automatic geek cred. / Joel: That does reek of geek. OK, I'm in. Put on a pot of coffee, fry up some bacon, and refresh my memory... how do you make a book go? [[pokes book]] Book engage! Power on! Do you shake it? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080928 |
| Monday, September 29, 2008 | Mel: For the next few days we'll be hosting a library science student! / Mel: Remember, she's the next generation of librarian. We're supposed to inspire her to public service and teach her what it's like to work the floor! / Tamara: Then why is she with DEWEY?
/ Colleen: Bet you can't stand her.
/ Mel: [[with clenched fists]] Hated her at first sight. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080929 |
| Tuesday, September 30, 2008 | Library Science Student: After I've upgraded your local network, I'll optimize your reference collection. / Library Science Student: Then I'll arrange subliminal cues to correct behavioral problems such as yours: / Library Science Student: You didn't seem very worried about my reforms.
/ Dewey: Cold drink? It'll come in handy when you finish banging your head against the wall. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080930 |
| Wednesday, October 01, 2008 | Dewey: Someone needs help.
/ Library Science Student: I'm working on something important here. / Dewey: Nothing is more important than that man right there.
/ Patron: You got that right, amigo. / Library Science Student: If his question is important he'll let me know.
/ Patron: I'm letting you know! What do I need to do to get help?
/ Dewey: I don't know. But I can't wait to find out! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20081001 |
| Thursday, October 02, 2008 | Library science student: When I'm captain of this ship I'll have you cleaned off the hull.
/ Dewey: If that ever happened I'd scuttle it and drag you down with me. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20081002 |
| Friday, October 03, 2008 | Dewey: Here you go. Have a good day.
/ Library Science Student: That's IT? / Library Science Student: You didn't tell him about databases, websites, print and online reference, relevant journals, Wikipedia... / Dewey: I gave him the book he wanted. He went away happy.
/ Tamara: How's it going?
/ Library Science Student: I'm dropping out of library school. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20081003 |
| Saturday, October 04, 2008 | [[A woman sits at a computer in the library, staring at the screen. Dewey stands behind her, also looking at the screen.]]
/ Woman: I can't connect to this file-sharing network!
/ Dewey: That's because this computer doesn't have the right program. / Woman: Will you install it?
/ Dewey: No. / [[Woman looks back at Dewey. Dewey points at woman.]]
/ Woman: I thought you were here to help!
/ Dewey: How about I help you buy a computer so that you can get into trouble by yourself? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20081004 |
| Sunday, October 05, 2008 | The Unshelved Book Club presents "Hidden Talents" by David Lubar / Dewey: Martin has a bad habit of telling people exactly what they don't want to hear.
/ He's been kicked out of so many schools that his last chance is Edgeview Alternative School, the boarding school you end up at when they've run out of other schools to kick you out of.
/ By definition everyone there has problems.
/ Fires are always starting around his roommate Torchie.
/ Cheater knows things he can't possibly know.
/ Lucky has a closetful of goods he must have stolen.
/ Flinch is weirdly quick.
/ And Trash is always throwing things.
/ All in all Martin finds himself surrounded by the biggest losers in the school.
/ To make matters worse, his big mouth quickly makes enemies of Lip and Bloodbath.
/ Then Martin starts to realize that all their loser traits might just be Hidden Talents. / Merv: Let me guess. They're actually --
/ Dewey: Spoiler Alert!
/ Sanjay: Thanks. He's always ruining things for me. / Merv: I do it for you. If you don't read this book you'll have more time to play video games with me.
/ Sanjay: Your selflessness always amazes me. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20081005 |
| Monday, October 06, 2008 | [[Dewey approaches Tamara who is leaning over the sink, filling a glass with water]]
/ Dewey: Weren't you the one who told me to drink bottled water?
/ Tamara: Bottled water? / Tamara [[holding up the glass of water]]: Making and shipping plastic bottles uses enormous quantities of fossil fuel. Not to mention the toxins that leak into the water. / Dewey [[holding up a finger towards Tamara]]: Weren't you the one who--
/ Tamara [[Walking away from Dewey, still holding the glass of water]]: Look at the *time!* I need to *go!* For a good *reason!* http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20081006 |
| Tuesday, October 07, 2008 | [[Dewey holds up a dripping bottle in a irregular shape]]
/ Dewey: Check out ICEBERG, my new favorite bottled water. / [[Dewey, looking down at the bottle]]
/ Dewey: It's direct from Antarticia! I'm drinking as much of it as I can before the glaciers melt! / [[Tamara holds a bottle, looking down in disgust, with her other hand on her hip. Dewey is carrying a case of ICEBERG]]
/ Tamara: Do you know how much carbon was pumped into the atmosphere to get this here?
/ Dewey: Don't worry, I bought enough for everybody! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20081007 |
| Wednesday, October 08, 2008 | Tamara: I bought you this water filter. It will make Mallville's water taste glacier-fresh!
/ Dewey: I strongly doubt that.
/ But I can tell you really do care about the environment. / Dewey: Tell you what - if I choose the water filter, will you pay for it?
/ Tamara: Of course! What kind? / Dewey: Sumatran dark roast medium ground. Here's the receipt. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20081008 |
| Thursday, October 09, 2008 | Tamara: Do you know how much energy was expended to get that coffee from Indonesia to your cup?
/ Dewey: What's important is that I wanted the producers to get full price for their product.
/ So I bought it directly from a grower's collective. / Tamara: Dewey, that's so--
/ Dewey: The farmer's son just sent me a picture of his new iPod.
/ Brought tears to my eyes. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20081009 |
| Friday, October 10, 2008 | [[Dewey is approached by an angry-looking nun.]]
/ Dewey: How can I help you?
/ Nun: I'm offended by your stereotypical treatment of nuns! / Dewey: I loved you in The Blues Brothers. / [[Nun has turned and is walking away from Dewey.]]
/ Dewey: Come on, it's not like I went for a penguin joke. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20081010 |
| Saturday, October 11, 2008 | Mel: People don't like it when you're right all the time.
/ Dewey: If being right is wrong, I don't want to be right.
/ Nah, I still want to be right. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20081011 |
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