You're browsing the archives of Unshelved.
You can search these comics too.
show: [ full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]
| Saturday, June 14, 2008 | Mel: Why does our library suddenly resemble a circus?
/ Dewey: Just following your example. / Mel: Policy needs to be flexible.
/ Dewey: And now ours is the Reed Richards, the Ralph Dibny, nay, the *Eel O'Brien* of policies. / Mel: [[turning to her computer]] I'd love to have one conversation with you where I don't have to access Wikipedia.
/ Dewey: It's the pause that refreshes. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080614 |
| Sunday, June 15, 2008 | The Unshelved Book Club presents "Endgame" by Derrick Jensen / [[A girl wearing leaves is reading a book under a tree and talking to a rabbit with a red X for one eye.]]
/ Girl: "Any economic or social system that does not benefit the natural communities on which it is based, is unsustainable, immoral, and stupid."
/ Rabbit: Duh.
/ You can't consume a planet and still live on it. / Girl: It *seems* obvious that the earth is still being murdered, isn't it?
/ Rabbit: What will it take for humans to stop living in denial? / Girl: This book grabs denial by the throat, shakes it, smashes it to the ground, and stomps on its ugly head.
/ It's "Endgame" by Derrick Jensen.
/ Rabbit: It's a great tool!
/ Read more. / Girl: "Sustainability, morality, and intelligence (as well as justice) require the dismantling of any such economic and social system, or at the very least disallowing it from dismantling your landbase."
/ Rabbit: [[holding up a pickax]] Here's another tool! / {{Guest strip by Stephanie McMillan at www.minimumsecurity.net}} http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080615 |
| Monday, June 16, 2008 | Eccentric Writer: Do you have "Fangs of Love, Fangs of Death" by Marty Mimmelman?
/ Dewey: Computer says no. And I've never heard of it. / Writer: It's a beautifully written vampire/ romance/ detective novel. I should know, I'm the author. / Dewey: Aaand you want us to order it.
/ Writer: Ten copies should be enough. But it's okay with me if you get more! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080616 |
| Tuesday, June 17, 2008 | Author: I'd be happy to do a reading of my new novel!
/ Mel: We'll discuss it at our planning meeting. Our schedule is pretty full. / Mel: We'd need publicity and--
/ Author: One step ahead of you! I've already printed up flyers! / Author: Here's a sheet of talking points.
/ Mel: "The most bestest book ever"?
/ Author: I edited it down to the core message. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080617 |
| Wednesday, June 18, 2008 | [[Dewey and Tamara at the Information Desk. Tamara is reading a flyer.]]
/ Tamara: "Fangs of Love, Fangs of Death"? Is this some kind of joke?
/ Dewey: Yes and no. / [[A patron drops off a huge stack of flyers.]]
/ Patron: My flyers keep disappearing! People must realize they're collectors items! / [[Dewey slyly drops the flyers in the trash can.]]
/ Tamara: I guess we *should* support local authors.
/ Dewey: Yes and no. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080618 |
| Thursday, June 19, 2008 | Author: My reading is TOMORROW and my book isn't on your shelves!
/ Dewey: None of our distributors had it. / Author: Not a problem! I always keep a case in my car! / Mel: Did we dodge the bullet?
/ Dewey: His aim is terrible, but he seems to have unlimited ammunition. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080619 |
| Friday, June 20, 2008 | [[Author bursts through doors]]
/ Author: My car's gone! I don't feel safe here! I'm cancelling my reading! / [[Dewey talking to Buddy who is sitting reading]]
/ Dewey: Thanks, Buddy!
/ Buddy the Book Beaver: Not me this time. / [[Dewey talking to Colleen who is sitting reading with Doreen]]
/ Dewey: Thanks, Colleen!
/ Colleen: He was parked in my spot http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080620 |
| Saturday, June 21, 2008 | Merv: I'm here for the reading.
/ Dewey: It was rescheduled to "never." / Merv: Did you see the cover? Leather-clad vampire babes with automatic weapons! / Dewey: What do they say about books and their covers?
/ Merv: Do you think I can get it as a poster? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080621 |
| Sunday, June 22, 2008 | The Unshelved Book Club presents Skulduggery Pleasant by Derek Landy / [[Dewey's head is seen in the corner of a large, one-panel illustration of a skeleton and a young woman seen from behind; they are standing in a hallway. In front of them is a strange blue-colored creature which is removing a costume that looks like it's a human disguise.]]
/ Dewey: After her uncle dies, Stephanie finds out that the supernatural world of his novels is real. / When she's attacked by a creature looking for a key she's never heard of, her uncle's friend SKULDUGGERY saves her. / Skulduggery is a living skeleton, a detective with a flair for fashion who refused to move on when he was killed, hundreds of years ago, in the middle of a magical war. / The sorcerer who killed him the first time is seeking the mythical weapon the ANCIENTS used to defeat the FACELESS ONES, a weapon Stephanie's uncle may have hidden. / Stephanie is determined to help. / She wants more than an adventure in the magical world. She wants justice for her uncle. / But first she needs to choose a name. / And she also needs to visit Skulduggery's tailor. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080622 |
| Monday, June 23, 2008 | Little Old Man: I've never been more insulted in my life!
/ Dewey: You need to get out more. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080623 |
| Tuesday, June 24, 2008 | [[Mel and Tamara are standing together in the library.]]
/ Mel: How was storytime?
/ Tamara: Most of the children were just great! / Mel: "Most"?
/ Tamara: One little angel had very busy hands! / [[Mel and Buddy, who is holding a stack of books, are walking together.]]
/ Mel: Translation?
/ Buddy: Every time she turned the page, Billy punched a four-year-old. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080624 |
| Wednesday, June 25, 2008 | Dewey: I've learned that you can say anything about a person so long as you immediately bless them.
/ Merve: Example? / Dewey: That woman's makeup looks like she lost a pie fight. Bless her heart. / Merve: I suppose this is one of those "with power comes responsibilty" things.
/ Dewey: Nah, you can pretty much use it indiscriminately. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080625 |
| Fact Checking | Patron: Will you swear this is true?
/ Dewey: No. / Patron: Cross you heart and hope to die, stick a needle in your eye?
/ Dewey: Still no. / Patron: I can't put it in my paper unless it's a fact.
/ Dewey: Well, you didn't find it on the Internet, so you're way ahead of your classmates. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080626 |
| Friday, June 27, 2008 | Dewey: New furniture?
/ Mel: Modular furniture. Now our patrons can rearrange to their heart's content. / Dewey: We can't even afford new books.
/ Mel: They were a gift from Outlet City! / Mel: I can't understand why they didn't want them.
/ Dewey: I can.
/ Young man [[in background, holding up block-shaped piece]]: Here's the piece we need for the trebuchet! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080627 |
| Saturday, June 28, 2008 | Caption: MALLVILLE LIBRARY, 3000 B.C.
/ [[In stone-age library, two boys are fighting with spear and club]]
/ Computer Victim [[chiseling stone]]: You kids quiet! Me trying to invent wheel over here! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080628 |
| Sunday, June 29, 2008 | The Unshelved Book Club presents "Sharp Teeth" by Toby Barlow / [[Four wolves standing in a circle]] / Tamara [[Talking to Dewey]]: I thought you said this was a book of poetry?
/ Dewey : It's a novel in verse.
/ About Werewolves.
/ Most packs are visceral and violent.
/ They seek blood, and find power, safety, and loyalty.
/ They find those who belong and introduce them to the change...
/ But Lark's dogs were different.
/ They had allies, discipline, and a plan.
/ But when a few of his boys went to check out rumors of other packs in L.A., he was betrayed.
/ The survivors returned to human form or lived as dogs.
/ They hid.
/ But LarK has another plan.
/ Tamara: Why don't you try some Shel Silverstein?
/ Dewey: Not enough carnage. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080629 |
| Monday, June 30, 2008 | [[Dewey sitting at reference desk]] / Siren: < http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080630 |
| Practically perfect in every way, Tuesday, July 01, 2008 | Emergency siren: < http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080701 |
| Wednesday, July 02, 2008 | [[ WOO WOO alarm overhead. Patrons sitting at computers. The staff is trying to get them to leave]]
/ Colleen: Hear that? The world is coming to an end. The last thing you see will be that email.
/ Tamara: Want to come outside and smell the flowers?
/ Dewey: Gamera is attacking! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080702 |
| Thursday, July 03, 2008 | [[Colleen and Dewey are standing with their backs to us, staring at people using the computers. The whole strip is gray.]]
/ < http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080703 |
| Friday, July 04, 2008 | Siren: < http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080704 |
| Saturday, July 05, 2008 | Tamara: I failed that woman.
/ Dewey: Her request was completely unreasonable. / Tamara: Who am I to judge her unique needs?
/ Dewey: She wanted you to alphabetize the phone book by middle initial. / Tamara: I guess we can't always be who we want to be.
/ Dewey: Speak for yourself.
/ Computer: < http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080705 |
| Sunday, July 06, 2008 | Unshelved Book Club: EMMY AND THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING RAT, by Lynne Jonell
/ [[A girl looks down at a rat, a boy smaller than the rat and a soccer ball]]
/ Dewey: Emmy is a good girl living under the thumb of a nasty housekeeper. Her parents are always traveling and spending their money. Her classmates and teacher hardly notice her, and can't remember her name. One day Emmy talks to the classroom's pet rat during recess. It answers back and convinces her to set it free. Professor Vole, who rents out exotic rodents, shows up hunting for her and the rat. It accidentally bites a boy looking for a soccer ball, and the boy...shrinks. They soon discover the rat isn't the only rodent with mysterious powers. Can one of them enlarge the boy? And can they help Emmy get control of her life? / Tamara: Just how many books about rats do people need to READ?
/ Dewey: All of them. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080706 |
| Monday, July 07, 2008 | Mel: Many of you are declining to send electronic receipts that you've read my emails. / Mel: So now, after you read my emails, I want you to come out here and initial this clipboard. / Tamara: Should I initial for each email, or just once a day?
/ Dewey: I hope you're both kidding. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080707 |
| Tuesday, July 08, 2008 | Fred: Do you have that book or not?
/ Dewey: The quantum uncertainty principle says that, until I look it up, the book is both there and not there. / Dewey: This phenomenon is known as "Schrodinger's Catalogue." / [[Fred walks away holding his head.]]
/ Mel: What's wrong with him?
/ Dewey: I collapsed his waveform. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080708 |
| Wednesday, July 09, 2008 | [[Tamara and Dewey are talking. Dewey's looking around.]]
/ Tamara: What are you looking for?
/ Dewey: Patient zero. / Tamara: Someone's sick?
/ Dewey: SOMEONE'S about to fall in LOVE with this BOOK!
/ And they'll tell two friends, and so on. / Tamara: Don't YOU already love that book?
/ Dewey: Do I look like I have time to read anything this thick? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080709 |
| Thursday, July 10, 2008 | [[Dewey and Merv are talking in the library]] / Dewey: This book is the disease...
/ Merv: ...and I'm the cure! / Merv: [[Merv slaps the book out of Dewey's hands]]HAI_YAA! / Dewey: I was trying to GIVE that to you!
/ Merv: [[Walks away from Dewey]] Look elsewhere for your patsy. I'm planning on having FUN this summer. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080710 |
| Friday, July 11, 2008 | Dewey: You might love this book!
/ Patron: Then why isn't it checked out? / Patron: I only read books that have hold lists a mile long. That's how I know they're good. / Dewey: SOMEONE has to be the first to read a book!
/ Patron: I'll leave that to the daredevils. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080711 |
| Saturday, July 12, 2008 | [[Tamara and Dewey are talking.]]
/ Dewey: I've been taking the wrong tack with this book. / Dewey: Treating it like an infectious disease just turned people off. / Tamara: What's your new plan?
/ Dewey: Leave it lying around until somebody steals it. [[In the background, somebody steals it!]] http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080712 |
| Sunday, July 13, 2008 | The Unshelved Book Club presents "Rock On" by Dan Kennedy / [[long-haired patron, with a guitar slung over his back, and hair covering his eyes]]
/ Patron: I'm going to be a famous musician!
/ Dewey: Dan Kennedy always dreamed of being a famous musician. / [[Dan sitting at a computer. His right half is wearing short hair, a white dress shirt, and a solid blue necktie. His left half has long hair and is dressed like a heavy-metal musician.]] / Dewey: He dressed up a Gene Simmons for Halloween, had a drum set, took guitar lessons, and was a member of no fewer than four bands.
/ Dewey: Well, three if you don't count lip-syncing.
/ Dewey: Somehow he ended up writing advertisements for off-brand cassette tapes for a living.
/ Dewey: His dream was dead.
/ Dewey: Then in 2002 he stumbled into a job at the marketing department of a major record label.
/ Dewey: He shook hands with Stevie Wonder, took meetings with Duran Duran, and designed ad campaigns for Phil Collins.
/ Dewey: But as the reality of his corporate life set in, Dan found out that life in the music business was not quite what he had imagined.
/ Dewey: It was much, much weirder. / Patron: I'm going to be a famous musician!
/ Dewey: And the worst part is, you just might. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080713 |
Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60
61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80
81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100
101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120
121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 >>