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| Friday, October 28, 2005 | [[Dewey has just re-entered Technical Services.]]
/ Dewey [[holding a cup of coffee]]: Okay, I brought you a double... / [[The piles of books that were on Elsie the Cataloger's desk are now gone, and all that's left is a stack of *Preacher* graphic novels.]]
/ Elsie [[knitting]]: It's all done. I even relabeled them for you. / Dewey [[baffled]]: I was only gone for a minute!
/ Elsie [[drinking the coffee Dewey brought her]]: Nothing mystifies more than hard work no one sees. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20051028 |
| Saturday, October 29, 2005 | [[Mel and Dewey are standing together, talking. Mel is happily looking through the stack of reclassified "Preacher" graphic novels.]]
/ Mel: Thanks for recataloging "Preacher" as a graphic novel. Problem solved!
/ Dewey [[holding out a hand to take the graphic novels back]]: I'll go shelve them now. / Mel: With the other comics?
/ Dewey [[walking away, with the stack of graphic novels in his arms]]: Yes, right where people expect to find perversity, heresy, and ultraviolence -- between "Garfield" and "The Family Circus". / Mel [[holding up a finger]]: Um...
/ Dewey [[turned back to Mel]]: I'll resubmit my request for a graphic novels section. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20051029 |
| Sunday, October 30, 2005 | The Unshelved Book Club presents Ringworld by Larry Niven / Dewey: It's one of the greatest creations in science fiction. A ring-shaped alien artifact the size of a million Earths! / [[Dewey talking to boy patron]] / Boy: Oh yeah, like in Halo.
/ Dewey: What? / Boy: The video game. Halo. It's named after the ring-shaped world on which it takes place.
/ Dewey: This is Ringworld by Larry Niven. He invented the whole concept thirty years ago. / Boy: Wow, and Microsoft hasn't sued him yet?
/ Dewey: No-- it's not-- they can't-- HE INVENTED IT! / Boy: And you think they won't sue him anyway? You read too much science fiction! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20051030 |
| Monday, October 31, 2005 | "Who are you dressed as?" / Ned: [[wearing a crown]] The emperor. / Doreen: [[wearing a mask]] The man in the iron mask.
/ Colleen: The mother of the man in the iron mask. / [[Dewey, Cathy, and Merv are dressed as characters from the Firefly series.]]
/ Dewey: Mal.
/ Cathy: Inara.
/ Merv: Reaver. We eat human flesh. / [[Mel is dressed as the pope.]] http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20051031 |
| Tuesday, November 01, 2005 | Merv: I'm planning a fund-raiser for recent natural disasters. / Merv: Volunteers will provide entertainment, catering, and promotion. / Merv: I think I can raise tens of thousands of dollars. / Dewey: You do know you have to give the money to charity, right?
/ Merv: Wait, what? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20051101 |
| Wednesday, November 02, 2005 | male patron: I can write on my screen!
/ female patron: Congratulations, you spent $2000 on a six-pound piece of paper. / female patron: This is the fastest laptop made.
/ male patron: So you can play Minesweeper really quickly? / male patron: Mine's smaller.
/ female patron: You take that back! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20051102 |
| Thursday, November 03, 2005 | [[in library, Collen standing over a patron]]
/ Colleen: It's a Reference Book, not "a printout of the internet" http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20051103 |
| Friday, November 04, 2005 | [[Tamara walks up to Dewey holding a shopping bag. Dewey is on the computer.]]
/ Tamara: I bought myself a new t-shirt!
/ Dewey: Let me guess. It's reading-related. / Tamara: Not even close.
/ Dewey: It's got a teddy bear on it? / Tamara: Wrong!
/ [[She holds up a t-shirt that has a rainbow on it.]]
/ Dewey: Oh yeah, I was way off track. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20051104 |
| Saturday, November 05, 2005 | [[Career Day in Mallville.]]
/ Firefighter: So then I cut through the flaming roof and rescued the baby! / Marine: ... surrounded. But I wasn't worried because I had Betsy here to... / Dewey: Today I was paid to eat two donuts, drink three cuts of coffee, and read a book. / Dewey: I know -- not very glamorous. But one day that will sound pretty good to you. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20051105 |
| Sunday, November 06, 2005 | The Unshelved Book Club presents "The World's Worst: A Guide to the Most Disgusting, Hideous, Inept, and Dangerous People, Places, and Things on Earth" by Mark Frauenfelder. / [[In the library, Dewey talks to Merv]] / Dewey: ... he was running around like a chicken with its head cut off!
/ Merv: Do chickens really do that? / Dewey: Yes, in fact ... no, sorry, you don't want to hear this. It's too awful.
/ Merv: What? Yes I do! / [[Dewey's head floats beside a panel showing the farmer beheading his chickens while "Miracle Mike" runs around]]
/ Dewey: One day a farmer took his chickets to the chopping block.
/ WHAM! Heads off!
/ They all ran around, like headless chickens do, then keeled over dead.
/ But one of them kept running around.
/ It scratched the ground. It even tried to crow. It just wouldn't die.
/ They called him "Miracle Mike". His owners got rich exhibiting him with a severed head.
/ (it wasn't even his head) / [[In the library]]
/ Dewey: There's more in *The World's Worst* by Mark Frauenfelder
/ Merv: [[Flipping through the book]] "Most Disgusting Behavior on a Plane"
/ "Most Dangerous Toy"
/ "Most Unappealing Fetish"
/ You got me. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20051106 |
| Monday, November 07, 2005 | [[Little Old Man and Dewey at the information desk.]]
/ Little Old Man: Someone stole the classifieds!
/ Dewey: Ah, the tragedy of the commons. / Little Old Man: That's three days in a row!
/ Dewey: I'll set up round-the-clock surveillance. / Little Old Man: Is that a joke? Because I lose my sense of humor when I don't know where the garage sales are.
/ Dewey: Please, sir, one crisis at a time. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20051107 |
| Tuesday, November 08, 2005 | [[Problem patron confronts Dewey]]
/ Problem patron: I figured out who's been stealing the classifieds! / Problem patron: He's a strange man wearing a mask.
/ At least I think it's a man. / [[As Buddy enters]]
/ Problem patron: [[Pointing at Buddy]] That's him!
/ Buddy: [[Pointing at the Problem Patron]] This guy's been lurking around the newspapers.
/ Like the smell of day-old trout. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20051108 |
| Wednesday, November 09, 2005 | [[Dewey is at the reference desk helping a patron.]] / Patron: The classifieds are gone again. I'll take your word it wasn't the man in the monkey suit.
/ Dewey: He's not a monkey... / [[The patron is peeved and points at himself with his thumb.]]
/ Patron: So I've decided to come in first thing and steal them myself.
/ Dewey: ...He's a beaver. / Patron: Son, I've moved on and you're still a sentence behind.
/ Dewey: That's because we're out of coffee. Did you say something about stealing? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20051109 |
| Thursday, November 10, 2005 | [[Little Old Man is seen putting a newspaper inside his coat, apparently stealing it. Tamara is watching him from a distance]] / [[Little Old Man is walking away from the library; Tamara is running after him]] / [[Mel and Dewey are watching]]
/ Mel: Typically I would expect to find YOU putting a senior citizen in a headlock.
/ Dewey: Well, you've been very successful in disseminating a broad skill set. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20051110 |
| Friday, November 11, 2005 | Tamara:[[her arms are extended in a consoling manner]] Once again, I'm sorry. I thought you were stealing.
/ Little Old Man:[[has a cup of coffee in his hands]] I *was* stealing. / Tamara: Then I'm sorry for...what am I sorry for?
/ Little Old Man: [[smiling]] Today I was tackled by a beautiful woman. I'm not sorry about anything. / [[Tamara walks away and Dewey enters with a piece of paper.]]
/ Little Old Man: What's this?
/ Dewey: Today's paper. I bought you a subscription. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20051111 |
| Saturday, November 12, 2005 | [[Mel and Dewey stand talking]]
/ Mel: I'm so impressed by your out-of-the-box thinking.
/ Dewey: Buying him a newspaper subscription was cheaper than all the time we were spending on him. / Mel: [[Walking]] Well you truly served his needs.
/ Dewey: [[Following Mel]] These older folks -- sometimes you can't teach them a new trick. / [[Merv and the problem patron sit at a computer terminal]]
/ Merv: ... and that's how you use Criagslist.
/ Problem patron: And in large print! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20051112 |
| Sunday, November 13, 2005 | The Unshelved Book Club presents "Captain Blood" by Rafael Sabatini / [[Peter Blood puts stitches in a soldier's gut in an old fashioned doctor's office]]
/ Dewey: Doctor. / [[Peter Blood stands in court, pleading with white wigged judges]]
/ Dewey: Prisoner. / [[Peter Blood is naked to the waist being whipped by a foreman. In the background, other slaves work while one stands in the stocks]]
/ Dewey: Slave / [[Peter Blood, with much longer hair, stands before a ship's sail, holding a broad sword aloft.]]
/ Dewey: Pirate / [[Dewey stands beside a panel showing Peter Blood, as he watches masts of a sailing fleet]]
/ Dewey: Now Peter Blood's life is about to get INTERESTING.
/ *Captain Blood* by Rafael Sabatini. / [[In the library]]
/ Ned: Why aren't there books about LAWYERS becoming pirates?
/ Dewey: Because it isn't much of a stretch. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20051113 |
| Monday, November 14, 2005 | [[Mel hands Dewey an box with two antennae]]
/ Mel: Can you make this work?
/ Dewey: It looks like a ... / Mel: Wireless access point, yes.
/ Dewey: Free WiFi in OUR library? / Mel: Sure, why not? It's no extra work for us!
/ [[Dewey frowns, looking over Mel's shoulder at the crowd of frustrated laptop users that is already forming]] http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20051114 |
| Tuesday, November 15, 2005 | [[A crowd of laptop users sit or lie on the floor around the power outlets. Dewey looks on, dismayed, while Mel pontificates.]]
/ Mel: Now that we have WiFi, no one need ever be tethered to old-fashioned wires again! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20051115 |
| Wednesday, November 16, 2005 | [[A man hands Colleen his laptop to ]]
/ Man: Can you help me configure my laptop to use the wireless connection?
/ Colleen:Sure. / [[Later, Dewey and Colleen walk through the library.]]
/ Dewey: It burst into flame?
/ Colleen: And all he did was complain! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20051116 |
| Thursday, November 17, 2005 | [[Patron wearing tin foil on his head approaches Dewey at the ref desk.]]
/ Patron: You have WiFi now? Great, more radio waves beaming messages into my brain! / Dewey: I read today that tin foil hats actually amplify certain radio frequencies used by the government. / [[Mel joins Dewey in looking at the patron, who is no longer depicted.]]
/ Mel: Why does that man have a steel colander on his head?
/ Dewey: Is that a reference question? Because I'm off duty. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20051117 |
| Friday, November 18, 2005 | Dewey: Sorry, I'm not allowed to touch your laptop. New rule. / Fred: But I need help! / Dewey: Now push the ENTER key.
/ Fred: Which one?
/ Dewey: The one that says "ENTER"
/ Fred: How do you spell that?
/ Merv: I'd offer to help, but the entertainment value of this is just too high. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20051118 |
| November 19, 2005 | [[The computer victim is showing his new laptop to Dewey]]
/ Computer Victim: I bought myself a laptop. / Computer Victim: Now that the library has wifi I never have to wait for a computer again! I'm finally independent! My own man! / Computer Victim: How do I turn it on? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20051119 |
| Sunday, November 20, 2005 | The Unshelved Book Club presents "Market Forces" by Richard K. Morgan / [[A green car is stopped along the freeway next to a bisected brown car. One man lies on the pavement while another stands over him with a gun. The sky is shaded in black and gray, making the green grass seem eerie and out of place.]] / Dewey: Richard K. Morgan's *Market Forces* imagines a world where corporate samurai wage war with cars.
/ The little people live in walled-in crime-ridden suburbs and can't afford to drive.
/ Road rage is a sanctioned part of business competition.
/ To survive, you've to armor-plate your ride.
/ To climb the corporate ladder you've got to take someone's head.
/ And to win you've got to play both sides against the middle on the battleground of the open road. / [[Dewey's motorcycle is parked beside a car. Dewey has dismounted to offer the book to the angry driver.]]
/ Driver: YOU cut ME off.
/ Dewey: You seemed upset. I thought you might want to relax with a good book. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20051120 |
| Monday, November 21, 2005 | [[Tamara approaches Dewey]]
/ Tamara: Your Grandma looks a little unsteady.
/ Dewey: I know. / Tamara: Aren't you going to do something?
/ Dewey: I tried. / [[Mel approaches Grandma]]
/ Grandma: I don't need help.
/ But if you found some lumber to shore me up, I wouldn't say no. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20051121 |
| Tuesday, November 22, 2005 | [[Dewey confronts Grandma]]
/ Dewey: You fell over.
/ Grandma: [[waving him off]] I slid gracefully to the floor. I don't need crutches. / Dewey: It's not --
/ It's a walker!
/ Grandma: I don't have a problem walking. / Dewey: It's also a seat.
/ Grandma: [[Using her cane to tap a sales clerk]] Do you have anything in a Herman Miller? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20051122 |
| Wednesday, November 23, 2005 | [[four wheeled "cruiser" walker]]
/ Voice: It's red. Red is nice.
/ Voice 2: Yes, it would look nice in my cold dead hands. / [[classic wheel chair]]
/ Voice 1: This is a classic.
/ Voice 2: So is creamed spinach, but I never made you eat any. / [[Grandma in a power scooter, Dewey looking on]]
/ Grandma: I'll take it if they can boost the horsepower. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20051123 |
| Thursday, November 24, 2005 | [[Foreground: two hands on handlebars, speedometer in the middle. Background: Merv and Sanjay are littering.]] / [[Handlebars get closer to Merv and Sanjay. They appear surprised.]] / [[Tamara and Dewey watch Grandma in her scooter drive Merv and Sanjay away.]]
/ Grandma: Two more litterers headed for the door!
/ Tamara: I think she was safer before.
/ Dewey: She said she'd wear a helmet for racing. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20051124 |
| Friday, November 25, 2005 | [[Mel approaches Dewey at a computer terminal]]
/ Mel: I heard your Grandma is using her new scooter to pick up men.
/ Dewey: True. / Mel: Is she playing on their sympathy?
/ Dewey: Not exactly.
/ Grandma [[whizzing by with the Computer Victim on her lap]]: Come here often? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20051125 |
| Saturday, November 26, 2005 | [[Dewey is speaking to Tamara]]
/ Dewey: They're making Star Wars Transformers - Like Peanut Butter and Chocolate, but better. / [[Dewey is speaking to Mel and Colleen]]
/ Dewey: Luke Skywalker turns into an X-Wing Fighter! / [[Dewey is speaking to Buddy and Merv]]
/ Dewey: Darth Vader becomes a T.I.E. Fighter.
/ Buddy: How much longer does our friendship require me to seem interested?
/ Merv: Two minutes. But you can shave off 30 seconds if you drool. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20051126 |
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