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| Monday, August 29, 2005 | Dewey: I'm a little worried about Doreen.
/ Tamara: Really, why? / Dewey: Shouldn't she be talking?
/ Tamara: What do you mean? She talks. / Dewey: She does?
/ Mel: Doreen just said the cutest thing!
/ Colleen: Everything she says is cute.
/ Buddy: Read Uncle Buddy that book again! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050829 |
| Tuesday, August 30, 2005 | Dewey: Doreen's been talking or over a year?
/ Colleen: Yes. / Dewey: And she talks to everyone but me?
/ Colleen: Yes. / Dewey: Why?
/ Colleen: Have YOU ever tried talking to you? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050830 |
| Wednesday, August 31, 2005 | [[Doreen, Dewey, and Colleen are standing in the library. Dewey is squatting down to Doreen's level.]]
/ Dewey: Doreen, I understand that your mommy instructed you not to talk to me. / Dewey: But now she has seen the error of her ways. [[Colleen rolls her eyes.]] / Dewey: [[standing, angrily pointing an accusing finger at Colleen]] It's no use. Your brainwashing has . . .
/ Doreen: What is the fuss about Manga, anyway? I don't get it. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050831 |
| Thursday, September 01, 2005 | [[Dewey is behind reference desk, typing on computer. Merv and Doreen are in front of desk crossing paths.]]
/ Merv [[condescendingly]]: Doreen.
/ Doreen [[excited]]: Hi Merv! / Dewey: I see Doreen has been talking to you too.
/ Merv: Well, duh. She's been tutoring me. / Dewey: Don't you mean *you've* been tutoring *her*?
/ Doreen [[reappears with chessboard]]: Checkmate in five moves.
/ Merv [[with arms crossed.]]: You are harsh. But fair, always fair. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050901 |
| Friday, September 02, 2005 | [[Dewey and Colleen are standing facing each other.]]
/ Dewey: Well Colleen, your daughter and I have been talking all week. / Dewey: I hope you see how misguided you were telling her not to speak with me. / [[Doreen comes up to them in a costume. Colleen looks angry.]]
/ Dewey: I am an excellent influence on young children.
/ Doreen: How do you like my "Hellboy" costume?
/ Dewey: Outstanding. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050902 |
| Saturday, September 03, 2005 | Mother: Go on, ask him.
/ Boy: Do you have any comics? / Dewey: Actually, we do. Follow me. / Boy: He said I could check out as many as I could carry!
/ Mother: Well he's not your mother.
/ Dewey: I'll go find you a snorkel. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050903 |
| Sunday, September 04, 2005 | The Unshelved Book Club presents "The Tipping Point" by Malcolm Gladwell vs. "Freakonomics" by Steven Levitt and Stephen Dubner
/ [[A man holding up his hands next to a man of color]]
/ Mel: In the nineties, the crime rate in New York City dropped precipitously.
/ Man: Aren't you going to mug me?
/ Man of color: No, man. I'm just waiting for the bus. / Mel: A man named Malcolm Gladwell explained this and other phenomena in "The Tipping Point". A new policy called "Broken Windows" started and...
/ Voice: WRONG! / Colleen: In "Freakonomics" Steven Levitt shows that policy only accounted for a fraction of the change.
/ Mel: Well, Steven Levitt is a pop economist who doesn't understand how trends "tip" into widespread adoption.
/ Colleen: And Malcolm Gladwell is a crazy-haired journalist without two new ideas to rub together. / Mel: You're just immune to new ways of thinking.
/ Colleen: And you'll believe anything you read,
/ Mel: Ow!
/ Collen: Let go of my hair!
/ < http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050904 |
| Monday, September 05, 2005 | [[Dewey and male patron are standing at circulation computer. Patron is presenting a book to check out]]
/ Patron: I don't have my library card.
/ Dewey: Would you like a replacement? / Patron: Nah, just look up my number for me.
/ Dewey: Because I can get you a replacement. / Patron: It's easier to have you look it up for me everytime.
/ [[Dewey looks annoyed]] http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050905 |
| Tuesday, September 06, 2005 | [[Dewey and male patron are standing at the circulation computer]]
/ Patron: I took your advice and tattooed my library card number on! / Patron: Now I'll never have to ask you to look it up again! / [[Patron rolls eyes up to try to read forehead, Dewey looks irritated]]: My number is...wait a second...can you help me out here? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050906 |
| Wednesday, September 07, 2005 | [[Male patron is talking to Dewey, who is standing behind the circulation computer. Patron has library card number tattooed on forehead]]
/ Patron: Okay, I'm back with a mirror. Now I can look up my library card number without help! / Patron [[holding mirror in front of face]]: Hey, it's backwards! / [[Mel has joined Dewey and the patron at the circulation desk. Patron is bending sideways trying to read number on forehead]]
/ Dewey: It's like watching dogs discover fire. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050907 |
| Thursday, September 08, 2005 | Customer: Guess who got lucky last night thanks to his library card tattoo!
/ Dewey: You've constrained the possibilities pretty well there. / Customer: She likes the tattoo, right? But she's shy. She thinks the number is a phone number, so she sends me a text message. But she gets some guy in Turkmenistan. Now she's mad, so she pours a beer on my head! / Dewey: I thought you said you "got lucky."
/ Customer: I didn't have to pay for the beer! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050908 |
| Unshelved comic strip archive | Patron [[rudely]]: Aren't you going to offer to help me?
/ Dewey: With an opening like that how can I resist? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050909 |
| Saturday, September 10, 2005 | "Happiness is...?" / Tamara [[holding book to her chest]]: A new book by your favorite author! / Dewey[[sitting underneath a tree with a book]]: Remembering you have the day off. / Colleen: Your daughter's first sonnet.
/ Doreen [[sitting at desk behind Colleen]]: Wait, no, that doesn't scan right. / Ned [[plugged into ipod]]: Liberty. Freedom. Independence. Oh, and show tunes. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050910 |
| Sunday, September 11, 2005 | The Unshelved Book Club presents "Darwin's Blade" by Dan Simmons / [[in the library]]
/ Guy: I'm thinking of majoring in English Lit.
/ Dewey: What about Physics? / Guy: I'm not really a...
/ Dewey: Physicist Darwin Minor is the world's best accident investigator. / [[Two mean stand in front of a car wreck]]
/ Gray beard man: He strapped rockets to his car?
/ Darwin: Stupidity kills. Absolute stupidity kills absolutely. / [[A red car speeds under a yellow jet while Darwin aims a sniper rifle]]
/ Dewey: But when a string of car crashes looks like more than accidents, Darwin finds himself the target of the Russian mafia. Good thing he was a sniper in the Vietnam war. Oh, and he has a really fast car. And pilots a glider. / [[Back in the library]]
/ Dewey: He's smart, he's funny, he's an action hero! Physics majors are cool! / Guy: I take it you majored in Physics?
/ Dewey: No, English Lit. It was like watching paint dry. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050911 |
| Monday, September 12, 2005 | Dewey: I'm sorry, I can't proctor your exam right now.
/ Student: Pretty please? I need to send it in today! / Dewey: I can't sit in a room and supervise you.
/ Student: Oh, you don't have to do that! Look, you just need to sign it! / Dewey: This test is already filled out.
/ Student: You complain a lot. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050912 |
| Tuesday, September 13, 2005 | [[Tamara and Dewey are sitting in the lunchroom]]
/ Tamara: You signed it?
/ Dewey: Here. I made a copy of the form. It literally says only "sign here." / Tamara: I think the word "proctor" implies a level of responsibility.
/ Dewey: This is America, land of the contract. / Tamara [[turning away]]: Distance learning took a big step backwards today.
/ Dewey: That happened when "Bandwidth University" got accredited. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050913 |
| Wednesday, September 14, 2005 | [[A female patron is talking to Dewey at the reference desk. Dewey is reading a comic.]]
/ Patron: I need you to proctor another exam.
/ Dewey: I'm busy right now. / Patron: You don't look busy.
/ Dewey: And you don't look like you studied very hard. / Patron: Look, I need to appear to take a test and you need to appear to be working. We can help each other.
/ Dewey: Why are we standing here talking? You've got an education to continue! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050914 |
| Thursday, September 15, 2005 | [[Dewey is looking at a stack of papers given to him by a patron]]
/ Dewey: I can't proctor this exam. It requires "constant supervision".
/ Patron: I'll sit right here, in front of your desk. / Dewey: But I'm working! I might have to go to the stacks, or help someone on the computers...
/ Patron: I'll follow you! / Dewey [[hands on hips]]: What if I have to use the restroom?
/ Patron: That's why I didn't ask her. [[pointing towards Tamara, walking past]] http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050915 |
| Friday, September 16, 2005 | [[Dewey talking to Mel]]
/ Dewey: ...so this guy says he needs his exam proctored today, and he's willing to stay in view everywhere I go so I can say he wasnt cheating. / Dewey: He even went with on break to the coffee shop. / [[Patron lying on the floor writing exam beside Dewey. Mel looks on.]]
/ Patron: It's really hard to fill out these answer sheets on the floor.
/ Dewey: You should have brought a clipboard. And no talking or I'll fail you. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050916 |
| Saturday, September 17, 2005 | [[Merv and Dewey are walking somewhere]]
/ Merv: The only copy of some guy's 500-page autobiography gets deleted and everyone immediately points their fingers at *me*
/ Dewey: It *was* you
/ Merv: I know, but still. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050917 |
| Sunday, September 18, 2005 | The Unshelved Book Club presents "A Wizard of Earthsea" by Ursula K. LeGuin / Son: I want to read the new HARRY POTTER book.
/ Mother: He's waiting for Harry Potter 7.
/ Dewey: Well, I have something better. In fact, it's one of MY favorite books. / Dewey: This is Ursula K. LeGuin's A WIZARD OF EARTHSEA.
/ Mother: That book is too thin.
/ Son: I want something thicker. / [[View of Ged, on his ship Lookfar, confronting a dragon]]
/ Dewey: It's got everything. Raiders, attacks, mysteries, magic, men of great power, evil beasts loosed on the world. It's (and I don't use this word lightly) poetry, pure poetry.
/ Mother: He lives evil beasts.
/ Son: Evil beasts sound good. / Merv: Saw the movie. I give it a big yawn.
/ Dewey: The movie deserved a big yawn. But the book is fantastic. When Harry Potter is forgotten, A Wizard of Earthsea will still be loved and appreciated.
/ Merv: Forgotten? HALF BLOOD PRINCE had an initial printing of like a bazillion copies. HABITAT FOR HUMANITY is building houses out of them. / Son: Maybe I should see the movie.
/ Mother. Find him the movie.
/ Dewey: I'll be over here. Reading it again.
/ Merv: Don't take it personally. He's always like this. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050918 |
| Monday, September 19, 2005 | [[Dewey is at the information desk sweating heavily. Colleen is standing nearby with a fan attached to her shoulder.]]
/ Dewey [[pointing]]: I'll give you fifty bucks for that fan.
/ Colleen: Keep dreaming, Aquaman. / [[Tamara walks by.]]
/ Tamara: Isn't this weather beautiful? / Colleen: How can one person be so perky?
/ Dewey: If it gets her through storytime who are we to judge? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050919 |
| Tuesday, September 20, 2005 | [[Buddy is carrying an air conditioner on his back.]] / [[Buddy plugs in the air conditioner. A hose is coming out of it.]]
/ < http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050920 |
| Wednesday, September 21, 2005 | [[Dewey is at the information desk sweating. A patron walks up who is also sweating. A vase of flowers is on the desk.]] / [[The sweating patron reaches for the vase of flowers.]] / Dewey: Drinking fountain is in the lobby.
/ [[The sweating patron pours vase of flowers onto his head.]]
/ Sweating patron: I'm good, thanks. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050921 |
| Thursday, September 22, 2005 | [[Dewey is at the information desk talking to Mel. Dewey is shivering.]]
/ Mel: I finally got the A.C. working! / [[Merv and Sanjay walk up to the desk.]]
/ Sanjay: The library is the coolest place in Mallville!
/ Merv: He only means that literally. / [[A butcher appears with a huge slab of meat.]]
/ Butcher: Mind if I store this here? My freezer's on the blink. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050922 |
| Friday, September 23, 2005 | [[Mel is looking off panel. Dewey is seated at a table. Tamara stands near him, arms crossed. Colleen sits at the table with Dewey, finger upraised. Buddy, in a chef's hat and carrying a tray of steaming hamburgers is walking into the frame.]]
/ Mel: Why is there a side of beef at the front desk?
/ Dewey: I don't have a simple answer.
/ Tamara: I can't have have a dead cow in my workplace.
/ Colleen: Actually it's a steer. Was. Was a steer.
/ Buddy: Who's up for some burgers? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050923 |
| Saturday, September 24, 2005 | [[Mel and Dewey are talking at the information desk.]]
/ Mel: The air conditioner is fixed. The butcher took his beef back. / Mel: Buddy promised not to barbecue in the staff room again. And the fire department left. / Mel: It's nice to have things under control for once.
/ [[Colleen enters.]]
/ Colleen: A man in nonfiction has spiders coming out of his ears. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050924 |
| Sunday, September 25, 2005 | The Unshelved Book Club presents "GETTING THINGS DONE" by David Allen
/ Mel: I just read GETTING THINGS DONE, by David Allen.
/ Tamara: I don't know how I lived without it! / Mel: This morning I processed my incompletes.
/ Tamara: What sort of an action management system are you using? / Mel: I sync my PDA with my laptop task list and calendar. I even keep my project plans in here!
/ Tamara: I'm old school - index cards with binder clip. Everything else goes in folders at my desk.
/ Mel: Well of course the most important thing is to find out what works for you.
/ Tamara: That's right, I used to...
/ Dewey: See this stack of notes, business cards, scribbles, doodles, and illegible scrawls? / Dewey: I keep it in my back pocket throughout the week. On Sunday I do my laundry. It comes out as a nice clean compact brick. On Monday morning I start again fresh. / Tamara: But...don't you forget lots of commitments?
/ Cathy: Dewey, remember we're having dinner with my great aunt next week!
/ Dewey: I've got it right here. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050925 |
| Monday, September 26, 2005 | [[Mel and Dewey are talking at the information desk.]]
/ Mel: Your dream just came true.
/ Dewey: Dirk Benedict is hiding in the staff restroom? / Dewey: Man that was a scary one. / [[Mel walks away.]]
/ Dewey: Don't read anything into it, okay?
/ Mel: The system is bringing video games into the library. And you're in charge. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050926 |
| Tuesday, September 27, 2005 | [[Dewey and Mel are talking in the library.]]
/ Dewey: We get video games in the library? And I get to pick?
/ Mel: I was told, "Give that hip guy library decision-making authority.'' / Dewey: I bet that hurt.
/ Mel: You have no idea. / [[Dewey and Buddy are walking through the library now. Mel is covering her face with her hands.]]
/ Dewey [[to Buddy]]: Three words: Giant Plasma T.V.
/ Buddy: Can I pick the channels?
/ Dewey: Cable! I'll add that to my list. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050927 |
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