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| Sunday, March 16, 2008 | The Unshelved Book Club presents "Spud" by John Van De Ruit / Dewey: It's the end of apartheid. His father is preparing for the end of civilization as he's known it. But John "Spud" Milton has other worries. He's starting his first year at a prestigious boys-only private school. The Crazy Eight play... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080316 |
| Monday, March 17, 2008 | Patron [[returning a video to Dewey]]: There are no captions on this video.
/ Dewey: Yes there are. / Patron: How do you know?
/ Dewey [[pointing to the box]]: It says so right here. / Patron: I can't read that.
/ Dewey: Let's hope they're clearer on the screen. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080317 |
| Tuesday, March 18, 2008 | Woman customer: I could have found that information.
/ Colleen: I'm sure you would have. Eventually. / Customer: I'm just as fast as you.
/ Colleen: At some things, perhaps. / Customer: You're no better than me!
/ Colleen: I hope that's true. Because you'll be looking for your own answers from now on... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080318 |
| Wednesday, March 19, 2008 | Tamara: I hope that answered your question!
/ Male Patron: I knew the answer. / Tamara: Then I hope it made you feel good about yourself!
/ Male Patron: I always do. / Male Patron: I just wanted an excuse to talk to you.
/ Tamara: And that makes me feel good about myself! As long as you don't say anything... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080319 |
| Thursday, March 20, 2008 | [[Man at Dewey's desk. He is wearing a tie, holding a small piece of paper, and gesturing to his left]] / Man: I want to advertise my tax business on the bulletin board.
/ Dewey: You can't do that. But you *can* volunteer to give tax help in the library. Maybe you can even write it off! / Man [[looking... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080320 |
| Friday, March 21, 2008 | [[Mel and Dewey watch two children dancing at one of those dance-video-game things.]]
/ Mel: I told you we can't have people dance off their fines!
/ Dewey: But you also told me I need to apportion resources fairly. / Mel: Which resources? Bestsellers? Computer time?
/ Dewey: Tax consultant. / [[Mel leaves... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080321 |
| Saturday, March 22, 2008 | [[In the library]]
/ Colleen: You're reading a book. And smiling.
/ Dewey: I think I can deduct a work-related expense. / Dewey: Without caffeine I can't get out of bed
/ I have to get out of bed to come to work
/ So I'm writing off my coffee / Dewey: Now that I think about it, I can't come to work without... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080322 |
| Sunday, March 23, 2008 | The Unshelved Book Club presents "The Electric Church" by Jeff Somers / [[Man in dirty clothes sitting next to an open manhole cover. He appears to be holding a handgun. There's a rope coming out of the manhole. Ruins of buildings all around, and a transparent person with an non-transparent face... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080323 |
| Monday, March 24, 2008 | Dewey: Sir, I'm afraid what you're looking at is making people uncomfortable.
/ Scruffy Internet user: Tell 'em to quit looking over my shoulder. / Dewey: Please use this privacy screen, and turn your monitor screen to the wall.
/ Scruffy: It's not my problem, so I'm not doing anything. / Scruffy: Who... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080324 |
| Tuesday, March 25, 2008 | Mel: You're not allowed to complain about what he's looking at. / Mel: You're expected to foster a public space where intellectual freedom can flourish! / [[Dewey walking away from Mel]]
/ Mel: You're a professional. It's like a quarterback complaining about a tackle.
/ Dewey: I'm going to hide behind... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080325 |
| Wednesday, March 26, 2008 | Dewey: I'm told I can't force you to comply.
/ Scruffy Man: Great! Because I'm not doing anything wrong. / Dewey: I didn't say you were wrong. It just turns my stomach.
/ Scruffy: Great! Now turn your stomach away from me. / Dewey: Fortunately you can't make me leave either.
/ Scruffy: Great. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080326 |
| Thursday, March 27, 2008 | [[Patron 1 with 5 o'clock shadow is working at a computer. Dewey is standing behind him.]]
/ Patron 1: I thought you didn't like what I was looking at?
/ Dewey: I don't. / Patron 1: And you're not allowed to complain.
/ Dewey: No. But they are. / [[Dewey is standing behind Patron 1, holding a sign reading... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080327 |
| Friday, March 28, 2008 | [[A woman, two boys, and Dewey are looking over a man's shoulder at his computer screen]]
/ Young boy: What is that, Mommy?
/ Glasses boy: Could you move your head to the right?
/ Man: Fine. I'll turn the screen towards the wall. / [[Dewey is shooing the others away]]
/ Young boy: Now I can't see!
/ Glasses... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080328 |
| Saturday, March 29, 2008 | Old man: Don't take that attitude with me!
/ Dewey: Which one? I have quite a few. / Old man: It was your tone.
/ Dewey: You asked me to recommend a book. I offered several choices. / Old man: But you were so smug and knowing!
/ Dewey: I'll send out someone more ignorant to help you. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080329 |
| Sunday, March 30, 2008 | The Unshelved Book Club: GOOD CALORIES, BAD CALORIES, by Gary Taubes
/ Ned: Everything you know about nutrition is wrong. The government has been lying to you. The American Medical Association and the American Heart Association have been spouting baseless fictions. Science reporter Gary Taubes spent... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080330 |
| Monday, March 31, 2008 | [[A boy is talking to Dewey at the reference desk.]]
/ Boy: Can you help me with my physics homework?
/ Dewey: Kid, I majored in English Lit. / Boy: What does that mean?
/ Dewey: It means this library has *rug stains* more qualified to help you. / [[Tamara approaches, holding a bucket and dripping mop.]]
/ Tamara:... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080331 |
| Tuesday, April 01, 2008 | Dewey: We should get one of those live homework help services.
/ Mel: But they cost money! / Dewey: Do you want to get kids off the street, improve their grades, and make the library relevant?
/ Mel: Yes! / Dewey: Then we should get one of those live homework help services.
/ Mel: But they cost money... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080401 |
| Wednesday, April 02, 2008 | [[Mel and Colleen stand in front of a computer screen]]
/ Mel: ...and it connects you to a real tutor!
/ Colleen: Thanks for taking another step towards replacing us with machines. / [[Close up of Mel and Colleen facing each other]]
/ Mel: We can't possibly help with homework all the time.
/ Colleen: Yes,... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080402 |
| Thursday, April 03, 2008 | [[Dewey and boy standing in front of book shelves]]
/ Boy: You don't have the expertise to advise me.
/ Dewey: I agree. / Boy: You offer no value whatsoever.
/ Dewey: Maybe our online tutoring service can help you. / [[Boy sitting in front of computer as Dewey walks away]]
/ Boy: How does it work?
/ Dewey:... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080403 |
| Friday, April 04, 2008 | Dewey: Try this. It uses chat to answer your questions.
/ Patron: I don't like chat. / Patron: It's a waste of time. People talk about things that aren't relevant. They go on and on and on about nothing, right? They keep on......they just repeat......I'm not like......get to the point......ly. / Patron:... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080404 |
| Saturday, April 05, 2008 | Woman: I have a complaint about this so-called "Homework Help"
/ Dewey: This is always the most exciting part of launching a new service. / Woman: You're EXCLUDING those who don't have access to computers!
/ Dewey: We have computers here. Free for all. / Woman: Some people don't LIKE computers.
/ Dewey:... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080405 |
| Sunday, April 06, 2008 | Dewey: Thanks for covering for me tonight.
/ Tamara: My pleasure. What do you have planned? / Dewey: Reservations at the best hotel in town.
/ Tamara: Nice! / Dewey: Candlelit dinner, fine red wine.
/ Tamara: Good for you! / Dewey: I'm clearing my whole schedule so I can really be present.
/ Tamara:... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080406 |
| Monday, April 07, 2008 | Dewey: I'm sorry.
/ Computer Victim [[looking down at laptop computer]]: Don't worry, it's not your fault. / Dewey: Actually it is.
/ Computer Victim [[still looking down]]: Okay. / Computer Victim [[looking up; Dewey has disappeared]]: What? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080407 |
| Tuesday, April 08, 2008 | [[Mel is sitting at her desk, talking to Dewey.]]
/ Mel: You just walked away?
/ Dewey: There was nothing else I could do. / Mel: The patron was extremely upset.
/ Dewey: I don't blame him. His computer was broken. / Mel: Because you broke it!
/ Dewey: But that doesn't mean I know how to fix it! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080408 |
| Wednesday, April 09, 2008 | Dewey: I admit it. I made a mistake when I was helping you with your laptop.
/ Computer Victim: That's completely unacceptable! / Dewey: What would you like me to do?
/ Computer Victim: I demand compensation! / Dewey: I've got thirteen cents and a Tootsie Roll Pop.
/ Computer Victim: Ooooh, what fla... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080409 |
| Thursday, April 10, 2008 | Mel: Our legal department is on the way over.
/ Dewey: Too late. I already settled. / Mel: You can't to that! There could be damages! Repercussions!
/ Dewey [[holding up form]]: The patron signed this release. / Mel: I'm not talking about him!
/ Lawyer [[to Dewey]]: You must be the walking liability. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080410 |
| Friday, April 11, 2008 | Lawyer: You are not authorized to negotiate settlements.
/ Dewey: He's a regular. It was no big deal. / Lawyer: You are not remotely qualified to ascertain that.
/ Dewey: Tell the truth: do you get paid by the syllable? / Lawyer: . . . affirmative.
/ Dewey: See, I can respect that. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080411 |
| Saturday, April 12, 2008 | Computer Victim: Thanks for finally fixing this.
/ Dewey: My pleasure. / Computer Victim: I hope you didn't get in trouble on my account.
/ Dewey: Nah. / Computer Victim: Really? No lawyer problems?
/ Dewey: Nothing to speak of.
/ Lawyer: STOP IGNORING ME! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080412 |
| Sunday, April 13, 2008 | The Unshelved Book Club present "Magic Pickle and the Planet of the Grapes" by Scott Morse / [[A macho pickle with arms and a star on its "forehead" flies toward the reader]]
/ Dewey: The Magic Pickle secretly fights crime from his HQ under Jo Jo's bed
/ (her house is built on top of the lab that created... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080413 |
| Monday, April 14, 2008 | [[Angry Lady is talking to Dewey at the reference desk.]]
/ Angry Lady: Are you just going to sit there while I yell at you?
/ Dewey: Yup. / Angry Lady: Why?
/ Dewey: You're like a boiler. I'm allowing you to let off steam so you don't explode. / Angry Lady: But I want a reaction!
/ Dewey: I always wanted... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080414 |
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