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Monday, October 23, 2006 [[In the library]] / Cranky patron: Graphic novels have no place in the library! / Mel: They're read and enjoyed by members of our community. / Cranky patron: Well I don't enjoy them. / Dewey: I'm willing to bet you don't enjoy much. / Cranky patron: I want them gone! / Dewey: I want you gone. / Mel:...
Tuesday, October 24, 2006 Woman: People who read graphic novels should be ashamed! / Dewey: Okay, how about this: / Dewey: Whenever anyone goes near the graphic novels a giant foghorn will sound, a bank of spotlights will train upon them, and a loudspeaker will shout their name, which will also be posted on our website. / Woman:...
Wednesday, October 25, 2006 FEMALE PATRON: I want you to put the graphic novels where no one can find them. / DEWEY: I'm afraid we can't do that. / FEMALE PATRON: Then I'm taking them all and I'm not bringing them back. / DEWEY: I hope you have a lot of money in the bank. The fines will be astronomical. / FEMALE PATRON: Then I'll...
Thursday, October 26, 2006 Woman: Scram! These books are no good for young people! / Merv: In that case I want two!
Friday, October 27, 2006 [[Mel and Dewey are standing at the reference desk. They watch a mother and son leaving, the woman is carrying a pile of books, the boy is reading a comic.]] / Mel: Look! A child enjoying comics! / Dewey: Yes. Desolation Jones--A drug-addict ex-spy tracks down pornography starring Adolf Hitler. / Mel:...
 
Saturday, October 28, 2006 Woman: I'm looking for a yoga video. / Tamara: We've got quite a selection to choose from! / Woman: I'm at a very advanced level. / Tamara: I'm sure we have one that will meet your needs. / Tamara: They're right down there. / Woman: You mean I've got to bend over?
Sunday, October 29, 2006 The Unshelved Book Club presents "Alanna: The First Adventure" by Tamora Pierce / [[Pages stand out in their practice yard.]] / Tamara: Alanna of Trebond wants to be a knight of Tortall. / She became Alan and took her brother's place as a page in the palace of King Roald. / She will find magic in an ancient...
Monday, October 30, 2006 [A female patron is talking on her cell phone in front of the "No cell phone" sign] / Patron: No, he doesn't suspect a thing. / << TAP TAP TAP>> / Patron: You worry too much. Yes, he would kill you, but he won't, because he doesn't suspect a thing! Hold on. / <> / [Merv is carrying a dictation...
Tuesday, October 31, 2006 [[Mel throws up her hands as she watches Merv using a transcription machine.]] / Mel: You *cannot* transcribe people's conversations in the library! / Merv: There's no reasonable expectation of privacy in a public space. / Mel: Well we have rules. Not to mention a professional code of ethics. / [[Mel...
Wednesday, November 01, 2006 [[Dewey with Merv]] / Dewey: How's your Overheard in the Library Blog? / Merv: Advertisers won't leave me alone. / [[Merv no on a cell phone]] / Dewey: Aren't you bothered by profiting off the violation of privacy? / Merv: Hello, I'd like to buy some commercial real estate for my internet startup. / Dewey:...
 
Thursday, November 02, 2006 Mel: What's going on? / Dewey [[making "air quotes" with his fingers]]: I think they call it "silence." / Mel: It's... golden. / Dewey: I mean, I've heard stories of quiet libraries, but I thought it was a myth. / [[Merv is typing on a transcription machine, which rests on a strap around his neck.]] / Patron...
Friday, November 03, 2006 Dewey: I want you to stop blogging what you hear in the library. Nobody's talking and the silence is disorienting. / Merv: Okay, just give me fifty thousand dollars. / Dewey: You know I can't afford that. / Merv: A thousand. A hundred. Twenty? / Dewey: I take it your startup failed? / Merv: No talking,...
Saturday, November 04, 2006 Library Tip #33: Don't make yourself at home / [[In the library stacks, a patron is sitting in front of a television with a bag of tasty-looking "Couch potatoes!". The television has the sound turned on.]] / Mel: You can't watch that here. / Television Announcer: And he misses the field goal! / Patron:...
Sunday, November 05, 2006 The Unshelved Book Club presents The Mob by Clem Martini / Crow: Are you Dewey? / Dewey: Are you a talking crow? / Crow: I want to tell you about my family, the Kinaars. / Crow: It started at our annual Gathering. Our entire family came together to tell stories and find mates. Hot-headed young Kyp...
Monday, November 06, 2006 Mel: It's NATIONAL NOVEL WRITING MONTH. / Dewey: Oh? / Mel: Across the country, would-be authors are writing thousands of words a day. Their goal: a whole novel in one month! / Dewey: Your point? / Mel: Your one-page status report is six weeks late. / Dewey: I have a good excuse for that.
 
Tuesday, November 07, 2006 Colleen: It's national novel writing month. Aren't you excited? / Dewey: No. / Colleen: Remember saying I had a book in me? / Dewey: No. / Colleen: This is the perfect chance for me to write that autobiographical romance novel! / Dewey: No!
Wednesday, November 08, 2006 [[Tamara is looking over Colleen's shoulder, hands clasped before her heart, as Colleen is typing at a computer]] / Tamara: I'm so proud you're writing a book! / Colleen: <> / Tamara: A whole novel in one month! / Colleen: <> / Tamara: How do you handle distractions? / Colleen:...
Thursday, November 09, 2006 [[In the break room, Dewey is eating a sandwich and Colleen has a manuscript in hand]] / Colleen: Here's the first chapter. It's where we meet the heroine, Moira, a smart but sexy plus-sized reference librarian with a dark secret. / Colleen: When a handsome brooding stranger walks into the library...
Friday, November 10, 2006 Mel: I love national novel writing month. It's a great way for writers to try out long form by pumping out sheer volume. / Mel: Sure, the quality won't be very high, but it's a learning experience. Is that your first chapter. / Colleen: Contract from my publisher. / Mel: Contract? / Colleen: Does this...
Saturday, November 11, 2006 Colleen: I'm done. / Dewey: But the month isn't over yet. / Colleen: It's just fifty thousand words. / Dewey: Yeah, but they have to be in a certain order. / Colleen: Like anyone cares. Besides, I've got two sequels and a screenplay to write. / Merv:You won't regret picking me as your agent. Let's talk...
 
Sunday, November 12, 2006 The Unshelved Book Club presents "The Rogue's Game" by Milton T. Burton / [[Several men sit around a table playing poker, in an imitation of that famous poker dogs painting.]] / Dewey: 1947. A hard man rolls into a small Texas town and bribes himself into a high stakes poker game. / He might be a lawyer,...
Monday, November 13, 2006 [[Mel and Dewey standing at a computer terminal]] / Mel: The accountant is coming! / Dewey: What are you so worried about? / Mel: She's responsible for balancing our books. / Dewey: What books? All purchasing is done centrally. / Mel: We collect overdue fines. / Dewey: In ten cent increments....
Tuesday, November 14, 2006 [[Mel, glum, chin in hands, scowls at a computer monitor. Library accountant hovers over her shoulder as Dewey greets them.]] / Dewey: Good morning! / Accountant: From your unreasonably cheerful air, I infer you have something to hide. / Dewey: From the cold sweat running down my manager's spine, I infer...
Wednesday, November 15, 2006 Mel: The accountant will interrogate you next. / Accountant: Your library is thirty cents short last quarter. / Dewey: Thirty cents? Have you dusted for fingerprints? / Accountant: This is serious. / Dewey: I'm just glad CSI:Mallville is on the scene.
Thursday, November 16, 2006 Accountant: I need to reconcile this financial discrepancy. / Dewey [[Dropping some coins]]: Here you go. / Accountant: So you confess! / Dewey: I'm just helping you balance the books. / Accountant: You can't do that! / Dewey: Back off. I've got a whole pocket full of Canadian nickels.
 
Friday, November 17, 2006 Dewey: Ding dong, the accountant is gone. / Mel: How'd you get rid of her? / Dewey: Creative Problem Avoidance. / Mel: That means I shouldn't ask, right? / Dewey: I've told you before - if you'd just let me do what I'm good at, your life would be easier. / Mel: I can't decide if that's an offer or a ...
Saturday, November 18, 2006 [[Dewey gives a book to a man with a full beard and mustache]] / [[Dewey gives a book to a completely bald man]] / Dewey: Sometimes I feel like we live in an age of extremes. / Tamara: Would half of my organic, gluten-free, locally-grown vegan sandwich make you feel better?
Sunday, November 19, 2006 The Unshelved Book Club presents "VEGAN WITH A VENGEANCE" over 150 delicious, cheap, animal-free recipes that rock" by Isa Chandra Moskowitz / Tamara: I've through apologizing for vegan food. And I owe it all to this book. It's a vegan book without a salad recipe. It includes mainstream food that...
Monday, November 20, 2006 [[A man and a woman reach for the same book.]] / [[They are both tugging at one side of the book.]] / [[They each bring a ripped half up to Dewey who is at the information desk.]] / Dewey: Looks like the problem took care of itself.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006 [[male and female patron addressing Dewey at reference desk]] / Male patron: I saw it first. / Female patron: I grabbed it first. / [[patrons addressing each other and pointing angrily]] / Male patron: She wouldn't let it go. / Female patron: His physical strength availed him not. / [[Patrons turn to Dewey...
 

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