You're browsing the archives of Unshelved.
You can search these comics too.

show: [ show full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]

Thursday, January 26, 2006 [[Dewey is speaking on the telephone]] / Dewey: Hi, can you tell me what charges were made yesterday on my credit card? ... No, it wasn't "stolen again." ... What? Really? ... How many? ... Yes, that is surprising. / [[Dewey turns to Buddy]] / Dewey: What would I want with three dozen earmuffs? / Buddy:...
Friday, January 27, 2006 Dewey: My what? / Granny: Your winnings. / Dewey: I gambled yesterday? / Granny: Pretty gutsy putting your condo on the line like that. / Dewey: I bet my - - / Granny: And all on a pair of twos. Made me proud to be related.
Saturday, January 28, 2006 [[Dewey and Cathy at the reference desk.]] / Dewey: Look, if I did or said anything yesterday-- / Cathy: I accept! Our flight to Vegas leaves in an hour. / Dewey: I was under the influence of-- / Cathy: The love bug, I know, you said. But I still think the ring is too expensive. / Dewey: Wait a second....
Sunday, January 29, 2006 The Unshelved Book Club presents ONE DAY IN THE LIFE OF IVAN DENISOVITCH by Alexander Solzhenitsyn / Dewey: So you need to read a Russian novel. I know what you're thinking: HEFT! / Dewey: Most of these bad boys are right off the scale. Lots of pages, and that means lots of words. Some of them long...
Monday, January 30, 2006 [[A man with a box of books is pouring them into the outside bookdrop.]] / [[A book flies at the back of his head with a BONK!]] / [[Mel and Dewy are inside at the bookdrop. Dewey has a book in a slingshot shooting books out of the bookdrop.]] / Mel: Can you explain this? / Dewey: I couldn't find a...
 
Tuesday, January 31, 2006 [[A man is holding a box of books and is talking to Mel next to the outside bookdrop.]] / Man: I tried to donate these books. / Mel: They're all covered with mildew. / Man: That's was he said. So I put them in the bookdrop. / Mel: They're worthless. We'd have to throw them out. / Man: Better you than...
Wednesday, February 01, 2006 Computer victim [[returning DVDs]]: I'm not done watching these movies. / Dewey: Sorry, someone else has them reserved. / Computer victim: You could just pay last fees. Keep them a month and it would still be cheaper than Blockbuster. / [[Computer victim walks away happy with an even larger stack of...
Thursday, February 02, 2006 [[Tamara and Buddy are in front of a computer. Buddy looks over their shoulders.]] / Tamara: Another pornographic pop-up ad? Who looks at these things? / Buddy: Woo-hoo! It's a smut avalanche!
Friday, February 03, 2006 [[Dewey and Mel are walking together.]] / Dewey: I need some time off to plan my presentation. / Mel: No you don't. / [[Dewey holds up his hand.]] / Dewey: You wouldn't send an unloaded gun to the front line, would you? / Mel: Yes, I would. / [[Dewey holds his chin in one hand.]] / Dewey: Okay, wrong metaphor...
Saturday, February 04, 2006 [[Dewey and Marv at the Reference Desk]] / Dewey: Who is hotter, chubby Belinda Carlisle or skinny Belinda Carlisle? / Marv: Girls? Suddenly you want my opinion about girls? / Dewey: Oh man, I'm sorry. I forgot who I was talking to. / Marv: No, it's cool. I'm growing up. Our relationship is maturing. We...
 
Sunday, February 05, 2006 The Unshelved Book Club presents "Peeps" by Scott Westerfeld / [[Two girls standing in the library]] / Girl 1: No way! You kissed *Eric*? / Girl 2: At least I didnt' kiss *Steve*. / Dewey [[interjecting]]: Just tell me you didn't kiss *Cal*. / Girl 1 and Girl 2 [[in unison]]: Who's Cal? / Dewey: He's a...
Monday, February 06, 2006 [[Throughout this strip, Mel addresses the library staff from outside of the panel(s), as if speaking from the front of the room before the assembled staff.]] / Mel: I have good news! / Dewey: Another random edict from upper management. / Mel: Our inventory troubles are over! / Dewey: Some vendor just...
Tuesday, February 07, 2006 [[Dewey is holding open a book and talking with Colleen.]] / Colleen: Explain this new technology. / Dewey: These metallic strips broadcast identifying data. / Colleen: I thought that was what barcodes were for. / Dewey: They were. / Colleen [[arms crossed, looking grumpy]]: Don't tell me -- barcodes...
Wednesday, February 08, 2006 [[An irritated patron takes on Mel at the check-out desk.]] / Patron: What do you mean I've finished checking out? I haven't done anything! / Patron: I don't want to hear about your new technology. I spent a long hard year getting used to your stupid scanner gun, and I won't have you changing things...
Thursday, February 09, 2006 Old man [[wearing a colander]]: RFID tags are the latest intrusion on our civil liberties! / Old man: The government can track what I'm reading and where I'm reading it! / Old man: I know, I know - you think I'm crazy. / Dewey: No, I'm pretty much with you on this. / Ned: Here's my card. Call me when...
 
Friday, February 10, 2006 Merv: Can I borrow your R.F.I.D. reader? / Dewey: No. / Merv: I won't use it to find out what my schoolmates are reading and then blackmail them. / Merv: Too detailed a denial? / Dewey: Little bit.
Saturday, February 11, 2006 [[ Dewey approaches two patrons, one with long black hair, the other a bald man with a mustache. The patrons are using the public computers.]] / Black haired Patron: I can't get this computer to work. / Bald Patron: This computer is junk! / [[Dewey goes up to the black haired patron.]] / Dewey: Don't blame...
Sunday, February 12, 2006 The Unshelved Book Club presents "Startide Rising" by David Brin / [[Pictures of several alien races]] / Dewey: In David Brin's STARTIDE RISING, "Intelligent Design" is a fact. Every species in the galaxy achieved sentience by being "uplifted" (genetically modified) by another species, which itself...
Monday, February 13, 2006 {{Guest strip by Michael Jantze}} / Dewey: Time to close, big Merv. You need a ride? / Merv: No, my dad's picking me up. / Dewey: Your dad? I don't think I've met your-- / Dewey: -- dad? / [[An army soldier looking very much like Beetle Bailey is yelling at Merv and pointing to the exit]] / Merv: Come...
Tuesday, February 14, 2006 Patron [[at reference desk]]: Excuse me, I need a globe of the earth. / Dewey [[pointing]]: We have at table-top globe just over-- / Patron [[grousing]] No! Don't you have a life sized one? / Dewey [[arms crossed]]: Yes, but it's in use right now.
 
Wednesday, February 15, 2006 Dewey: Tracing comics for art class? / Merv: I'm reinterpreting the work. / Dewey: She may not see it that way. / Merv: There are no rules in art. Only creativity. / Dewey: If you say so. / Merv: She gave me an "H". There's no such score! / Dewey: So she's creative too.
Thursday, February 16, 2006 [[A patron has approached Dewey at the desk.]] / Patron: I'm lost. Is this the Visitor's Information Center? / Dewey: This is a library. / [[Patron looks panicky and leans over the desk.]] / Patron: I came by monorail. / Dewey: There *is* no monorail in Mallville. / Patron: And I'm looking for a Waffle...
Friday, February 17, 2006 {{Guest strip by Mark Monlux}} / [[Dewey and Mel at the reference desk looking startled.]] / [[Same scene. A raccoon tail shimmies in the background as a raccoon scuttles behind a bookshelf.]] / Mel [[turning to look at the coon]]: DId you *just see*? / Dewey [[looking away]] No. No I did *not*.
Saturday, February 18, 2006 {{Guest strip by Dave Kellett of "Sheldon"}} / [[A library patron is addressing Dewey at the reference desk]] / Patron: The book title had a "the" in it. Does that help? / Dewey [[looking intently at his computer screen, typing]] <>: I get over 6000 titles in our collection with "the"...
Sunday, February 19, 2006 The Unshelved Book Club presents "Survival of the Prettiest" by Nancy Etcoff. / [[Tamara is in a pinup pose, both hands on one knee.]] / Tamara: Ever wonder why certain people are so attractive? / Read Survival of the Prettiest by Nancy Etcoff. / It's mostly evolution. / A man, for instance, is programmed...
 
Monday, February 20, 2006 [[Mel standing and speaking to Dewey who is seated and looking at the computer]] / Mel: What if everyone in Mallville read the same book? / Dewey: What if we just ate the same flavor ice cream? / Mel: I'm serious. We'll host book discussion groups and... book discussion groups. / Dewey[[turns to look at...
Tuesday, February 21, 2006 Dewey: Could we bribe people into reading the same book? / That's a lot of pizza. / Mel: There's no budget for incentives. Reading is its own reward. / Dewey: Then it will have to be naughty. / Dewey: "What if everyone read the same smut"? / Mel: Our grant won't cover that.
Wednesday, February 22, 2006 [[Dewey is at the information desk almost surrounded by books.]] / Merv: That's a lot of books. / Dewey: I'm trying to pick one that everyone in town will read. / Merv: Won't you have to buy, like, a zillion copies? / Dewey: Yeah, there's a grant. / Merv: Then it's easy. Just ask the publishers for a...
Thursday, February 23, 2006 Dewey: I couldn't find a book that everyone in Mallville would read. / Dewey: Then I thought, lower the bar! "What if everybody watched the same episode of *Cheers*?" / Mel: I object. / Dewey: No, you're right. Too dated.
Friday, February 24, 2006 [[Mel approaches the meeting room. A sign on the door reads "What if everyone watched the same T.V. show?"]] / [[Mel opens the door.]] / Dewey: Why else is Arrested Development the greatest show ever? / Person 2: Portia de Rossi! / Dewey: You read my mind. / [[Mel has closed the door, and walks away ...
 

Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60
61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80
81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100
101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120
121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 >>