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| Tuesday, May 31, 2005 | Dewey [[closeup]]: The computer says we don't have this book. I looked on the shelves and it's not there. / Dewey [[pointing over his shoulder]]: None of the staff have heard of it. Nor have the six retired librarians I called. / Dewey [[holding up three fingers]]: There are only three copies... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050531 |
| Wednesday, June 01, 2005 | [[A library patron and Mel talking in the library]]
/ Library patron: You look capable and helpful!
/ Mel: Thank you! / Library patron: Everyone says you don't have this book.
/ Mel: They're right. We don't. / [[Elsewhere in the library]]
/ Library patron:You look capable and helpful!
/ Buddy the Book Beaver:... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050601 |
| Thursday, June 02, 2005 | Colleen: Don't even start.
/ Male patron: What? / Colleen: I've been warned- you're trying to find an impossible book and you won't listen to reason.
/ Patron: I just know it's here. It has to be! / Colleen: Why?
/ Patron: I had a dream. It was very vivid. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050602 |
| Thursday, June 02, 2005 | Colleen: Don't even start.
/ Male patron: What? / Colleen: I've been warned- you're trying to find an impossible book and you won't listen to reason.
/ Patron: I just know it's here. It has to be! / Colleen: Why?
/ Patron: I had a dream. It was very vivid. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050602 |
| Friday, June 03, 2005 | [[Colleen and Tamara talk to a very annoying patron.]]
/ Colleen: You DREAMT we had a copy of the book you want?
/ Patron: I don't normally believe in dreams but this was quite realistic. / Tamara: We should take him seriously. Dreams are often prophetic! / Tamara: Dreams, those misunderstood messengers... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050603 |
| Saturday, June 04, 2005 | Dewey: That guy wasted a whole day of our time.
/ Mel: It's important not to dismiss those people offhand. / Dewey: Why?
/ Men: Because, uh, that is, I mean to say... / Dewey: It's hard to tell the whackos from the voters?
/ Mel: Exactly.
/ Colleen: Plus, who would we talk about at staff meetings? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050604 |
| Sunday, June 05, 2005 | [[Dewey is working on the computer with headphones on his ears. Merv is watching him.]]
/ Dewey: I signed up for one of those online music services. / Dewey: Any time I want to listen to any song, it's right there! / Dewey: It's cheap, easy, and legal!
/ Merv: What happened to sticking it to the man... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050605 |
| Monday, June 06, 2005 | [[Dewey is working at a computer.]]
/ Dewey: Uh oh.
/ Merv: Try the cutlass. It's better for slashing. / Dewey: Not that. I'm reviewing my finances.
/ Merv: Librarians have money? / Dewey: I worked so much this year I forgot to buy anything.
/ Merv: Looking for investment advice? / Dewey: Not in your... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050606 |
| Tuesday, June 07, 2005 | [[Real estate agent talking to Dewey as Tamara and Mel look on]]
/ Agent: Are you ready?
/ Dewey: As I'll ever be. / Mel: What was that all about?
/ Tamara: Dewey is house shopping. / Mel: A house? Dewey has never owned anything bigger than an Xbox?
/ Tamara: I'm enjoying the image of him mowing a law... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050607 |
| Wednesday, June 08, 2005 | [[Looking around]]
/ Real Estate Agent: It's a bit of a "Fixer-Upper."
/ Dewey: More a like a "Condemner." / [[Looking around an apartment]]
/ Real Estate Agent: This is a great time to be house-hunting. Prices are down all over Mallville.
/ Dewey: Such an overreaction to one little toxic waste scare. / [[Walking... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050608 |
| Thursday, June 09, 2005 | [[Mel and Dewey in the library]]
/ Mel: I hear you want to buy a house.
/ Dewey: The very thought fills me with fear. / Mel: Then why are you looking at real estate?
/ Dewey: I need to do something with my cash. / [[Dewey's Grandma enters]]
/ Mel: You're afraid of inflation.
/ Dewey: I'm afraid of Grandma.
/ Grandma:... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050609 |
| Friday, June 10, 2005 | [[Bucky and Dewey are walking in the library]]
/ Bucky: When it comes to real estate just remember three simple words.
/ Dewey: Is one of them "location"? / Bucky: Huh?
/ Dewey: Nevermind. What's your advice? / Bucky [[making air quotes]]: "Marry elderly landowners"
/ Dewey [[walking away]]: Househunting... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050610 |
| Saturday, June 11, 2005 | [[Dewey is at his desk and Tamara walks by.]]
/ Tamara: How's your house search?
/ Dewey: Great! My building is going condo. / Tamara: You're...buying your apartment?
/ Dewey: It's perfect! Nothing changes and I don't have to move! / Tamara: But change is good!
/ Dewey: Only for parking meters. and la... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050611 |
| Sunday, June 12, 2005 | [[Dewey is behind reference desk]]
/ Male Patron: Can I borrow a pen?
/ Dewey: Sure / Male Patron [[turning away]]: I just needed the ink refill, thanks!
/ Dewey: [[staring at remnants of pen on desk]] / Male Patron: Can I borrow a computer?
/ Dewey: [[arms crossed and glaring]] http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050612 |
| Monday, June 13, 2005 | [[Tamara and Dewey are at the Information Desk. Tamara is reading from the newspaper.]]
/ Tamara: It says here this is a record year for allergies.
/ Dewey: Aah... / Tamara: I haven't had any problems.
/ Dewey: AAAAAH... / Tamara: I think it's a plot by pharmaceutical companies to sell more drugs.
/ Dewey:... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050613 |
| Tuesday, June 14, 2005 | [[At the reference desk, Dewey looking ill]]
/ Patron: ...and it had a gray cover. Or maybe pink. / [[Dewey is sliding down below the desk and holding his hands at his throat, as if gagging or strangling]]
/ Patron: Young man, are you ignoring me? / [[Dewey has slid below the desk; only his hand reaches... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050614 |
| Wednesday, June 15, 2005 | [[Dewey and his Grandma in the library. Dewey is shelving a stack of books.]]
/ Grandma: Allergies? What a big baby!
/ Dewey: Aren't you supposed to make people feel welcome? / Grandma: That's for paying customers. Staff gets the unvarnished truth.
/ Dewey [[dropping the stack of books and covering... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050615 |
| Thursday, June 16, 2005 | [[Buddy outside Dewey's apartment, holding flowers, Dewey standing at the door]]
/ Buddy: I heard you were home sick with allergies so I bought you flowers! / [[Buddy now holding a bottle of cologne]]
/ Buddy: And this great cologne! / [[Dewey retreats back into his apartment, Buddy holding a black pepper... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050616 |
| Friday, June 17, 2005 | Fred: I have a question.
/ Dewey [[in a large plastic bubble with air tanks]]: And I have a week's supply of bottled air, so take your time! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050617 |
| Saturday, June 18, 2005 | Mel: What happened to your allergies?
/ Dewey: I researched natural healing. / Dewey: An intensive detoxification program can restore your immune system's ability to process environmental allergens. / Mel: Wow, Dewey! I'm....
/ Dewey: But instead I took this little yellow pill. I can't even pronounce... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050618 |
| Sunday, June 19, 2005 | Merv: It say here that Kevin Smith used to be just another comic book fan. / Merv: Then he maxed out his credit cards to make Clerks, became a famous director, and married a beautiful journalist. / Merv: What are you waiting for?
/ Dewey: The Guacamole. Pass it over. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050619 |
| Monday, June 20, 2005 | [[Mel, Dewey, and Merv are at the information desk.]]
/ Mel: It's time for another reference survey!
/ Merv: What's that? / Mel: We need to measure how well we answer people's questions.
/ Merv: Say no more. It's sweeps week! / Mel: It is NOT sweeps week!
/ Merv: I wonder what crazy stunts you'll pull... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050620 |
| Tuesday, June 21, 2005 | Mel [[hands on hips]]: Dewey, you're supposed to track the types of questions you answer.
/ Dewey [[standing behind desk at computer]]: I do. / Mel [[gripping paper in hand]]: But they aren't the standard categories!
/ Dewey: They didn't capture the full flavor of my day, so I customized them. / Mel... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050621 |
| Wednesday, June 22, 2005 | Mel: How's your reference survey going?
/ Tamara: I keep getting bogged down in the essary question. / Mel: Essay question?
/ Tamara: "Did patron leave satisfied?" / Tamara [to Mel]: After all, what does "satisfaction" really mean? And isn't it different for everyone?
/ Dewey [walking by]: I just stamped... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050622 |
| Thursday, June 23, 2005 | Mel: Dewey, my tallies show you get asked fewer questions than anyone.
/ Dewey [[wearing GO AWAY t-shirt]]: I don't know why that could be. / Mel: I'm afraid this could affect your annual performance review.
/ Dewey: Well, why didn't you say so? / Young man [[tongue hanging out]]: What is she doing tonight?
/ [[Speaking... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050623 |
| Friday, June 24, 2005 | [[Colleen and Mel are standing, Colleen is holding a young child]
/ Colleen: I refuse to do the Reference Survey. It's bureaucratic nonsense.
/ Mel: But Colleen, we need to justify our staffing level! / Colleen [[squeezing the child in her arms]]: Yes, let's threaten the old lady in front of her daughter.
/ Mel:... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050624 |
| Saturday, June 25, 2005 | Buddy: Here's my reference survey, Mel!
/ Mel: But Buddy, you're not a librarian. / Buddy: Sure, but people ask me questions all the time.
/ Mel: Let me have a look at this. / Mel: [[reading aloud]] "Where can I score some herb?"
/ Buddy: I'm just glad I knew where the gardening books are! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050625 |
| Zip | [[Dewey and Tamara are both working on computers at the desk]] / [[Dewey looks down]] / [[Dewey turns away]]
/ < http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050626 |
| Monday, June 27, 2005 | Mel [[pointing to something on floor]]: What on earth is that?
/ Buddy: It's a pair of false teeth. / Mel: I literally have no idea what to do about this.
/ Buddy [[holding teeth]]: Leave it to me. / Mel [[to Tamara]]: I'm really starting to feel like I can trust Buddy.
/ Buddy [[over P.A. System]]: Gum... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050627 |
| Tuesday, June 28, 2005 | [[Tamara is standing next to an older male patron at a computer, holding a set of false teeth.]]
/ Tamara: Excuse me sir, are these yours? / [[Patron answers and turns to others sitting nearby. Tamara looks unhappy that he's asking everyone in the vicinity.]]
/ Older male patron: Nope, all present and... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050628 |
| Wednesday, June 29, 2005 | [[Merv and Dewey are standing in frond of the Lost and Found box. Dewey is holding a set of dentures.]]
/ Merv: Come on, just for a little while! / Merv: If they weren't claimed by now, they never will be! / [[An elderly man is talking to Colleen at the information desk. Merv is wearing the dentures... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050629 |
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