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|Friday, May 17, 2002||[[Dewey is talking to a dark-haired woman with a red nose.]]
/ Dewey: You don't look well. Maybe you should see a doctor.
/ Woman [[angry]]: Charlatans! They just want to suppress my symptoms! / Woman [[sneezing into her bare hands]]: <
|Saturday, May 18, 2002||[[A library patron, holding a pile of books, looks disdainfully at a crumpled ball of paper by his feet.]] / [[Dewey holds his hands to his cheeks in a gesture of mock alarm.]] / Dewey: A piece of trash? Heavens! / [[Dewey rigidly bends down and reaches for the offending scrap of refuse.]] / [[Dewey,...|
|Sunday, May 19, 2002||[[Dewey and a teenager are standing in front of a sign that reads, "Eating and drinking prohibited". The teen is holding a can of soda.]]
/ Dewey [[pointing to the sign]]: You can't do that in here.
/ Teen: Oh yeah? / [[The teen chugs his soda.]] <
|Monday, May 20, 2002||"Do you have diet books for cats?" / Dewey: No ma'am -- cats can't read. / Dewey: Is that a cat or a suitcase? / Dewey: I'm sorry, no pets in the library. Shall I call you a forklift? / [[Mel is looking over Dewey's training worksheet. Mel and Dewey both have their backs to the door while a woman...|
|Tuesday, May 21, 2002||Merv: I need another library card. / Dewey: That would be what, your fifth this week? / [[Dewey hands Merv a card.]] / Merv: I wasn't counting. / Dewey: Let me guess: ninja throwing stars again? / [[Merv has put the card under the feet of a superhero action figure.]] / Merv: No dude! Surfboards for action...|
|Wednesday, May 22, 2002||[[Tamara sees Merv playing with some toys]] / Tamara: It's so great to see a boy playing with dolls! / Merv: These aren't DOLLS these are ACTION FIGURES! / Tamara: Do they have more than one outfit? / Merv: [[pausing]] Uh..yes. / Tamara: [[walking away]] They're dolls.|
|Thursday, May 23, 2002||Merv [[leaning forward in front of Dewey, hands off-panel]]: They aren't *dolls!* / Tamara [[Leaning into the panel, finger held out]]: Don't be ashamed! I think it's *wonderful!* / Dewey [[holding Merv's shoulder]]: Merv, if Tamara says action figures are dolls, *don't argue!* / Merv: Why not? / Dewey...|
|Friday, May 24, 2002||[[Two action figures are having a tea party]] / Ultra Man: Ultra tea? / Star girl: Is that soy cream organic? / Merman: Enjoy your final meal my enemies! / Ultra Man: It's DEMAN! / Ultra Man: [[to star girl]]: I'll save you! / Star girl: I don't need you to solve my problems! / Deman: Say, is that ultra...|
|Saturday, May 25, 2002||[[Tamara is talking to Dewey, who is sitting at the computer.]] / Tamara: I had fun playing tea party with Merv! / Dewey: That's nice. / Tamara [[leaning in and whispering]]: I guess I'll buy those action figures you two were CONSPIRING about. / Dewey [[surprised]]: You knew? But then why... ? / Tamara:...|
|Sunday, May 26, 2002||Son [[holding out a book]]: I want more books like this. / Mother: He wants more books like this. / Dewey: They aren't shelved yet. / Mother [[off-panel]]: Why not? / Son [[also off-panel]]: She wants to know why not. / Dewey [[picking up the intercom receiver]]: Code 3 at the info desk. / [[Mel and Colleen...|
|Monday, May 27, 2002||Teen: I'm getting a tatto in one hour and I still don't have a design! / Dewey [[typing on computer]]: Give me two minutes. / [[Dewey and teen are looking at the computer monitor together.]] / Dewey: Okay, how about this! / Teen: Cool! What is it? / Dewey: Um... does that matter? / Teen: Not really. / Merv...|
|Tuesday, May 28, 2002||[[Merv is writing a letter at one of the library tables. Dewey comes by with a stack of books.]] / Merv: Check it out! I'm taking a lesson from SPIDER-MAN! / Merv [[holding up letter]]: He was bit by a spider and got a spider's powers! So I'm writing to "The Rock" because I want to be tough like him. / Dewey...|
|Wednesday, May 29, 2002||Woman: I'm looking for romance. / Colleen: You want my advice, hon? Rented movies and fudge. / Woman: I meant a book. / Colleen [[pointing]]: Oh. They're over there.|
|Thursday, May 30, 2002||Fred: Do you need my library card? / Dewey: No, your credit card. I need new speakers. / Fred [[holding out credit card]]: Oh, okay. / Dewey: No, I was joking. You should never give this card to ANYONE. / Fred: Not even when I'm BUYING something? / Dewey [[holding up his hands]]: Okay, so there's an...|
|Friday, May 31, 2002||Matt: I hear you got the new "Star Wars" novelization in Braille! / Dewey [[looking at the computer]]: Yeah, but one of your friends already got it. / Matt [[indignant]]: "FRIENDS"? What, do you think all blind people know each other? / Girl [[holding the book]]: Hey Matt, I checked out this book for...|
|Saturday, June 01, 2002||Patron: That guy took the computer I was using. / Dewey: Why did you let him? / Patron: I was in the restroom. / Dewey: So the seat was empty? / Patron: Yes, but I left my drink there. / Dewey: I'm sorry, no drinks at the computers. I 'll have to ask you to leave.|
|Sunday, June 02, 2002||Dewey: You can't check this out -- it's a reference book. / Man: You're about to close. I'll bring it back first thing tomorrow. / Dewey: Well... okay, but be REALLY careful with it! / Merv: I want to borrow something overnight too! / Dewey: That depends, what is it? / [[Dewey is standing in front...|
|Monday, June 03, 2002||[[A dark-haired man approaches Dewey at the information desk. A large canister, full of pens and clearly labeled "PENS", is on the desk.]] / Man: Got any pens? / [[Dewey stares at the giant can o' pens.]] / [[Dewey looks back at the man. The man has turned away and is looking at the library in general.] / Dewey:...|
|Tuesday, June 04, 2002||Man: What's a good place to take a girl on a first date? / Dewey: This doesn't sound like a library question. / Man: I'm not asking a LIBRARIAN, I'm asking a MAN! / Dewey: Then I'd recommend the fiction section... / Man [[annoyed]]: That sounds like a librarian talking. / Dewey [[pointing]]: ... Row two,...|
|Wednesday, June 05, 2002||Dewey: Would you prefer the large print edition?
/ Little Old Man [[annoyed]]: Why, do I look OLD? / Dewey: Yes.
/ Man [[angry]]: Just give me the book I asked for! / [[The man is sitting in the park reading his book with a magnifying glass.]] / Man: <
|Thursday, June 06, 2002||[[The Little Old Man is handing a half-burnt book to Dewey. The man is covered with soot and still smoking. All that is left of his tie is a charred stump.]] / Little Old Man: Sorry about the book. / Dewey: What happened to you? / Man [[pointing]]: Just get me the danged large print edition! / Dewey:...|
|Friday, June 07, 2002||[[Merv is handing Dewey an old-timey picture of Melvil Dewey.]] / Dewey: What's this, Merv? / Merv: It's some old librarian named "Dewey." Get it? "DEWEY!" Hyuk hyuk! / [[Dewey hands Merv another picture.]] / Merv: Who's this? / Dewey: Merv Griffin. / [[Merv walks away, disgruntled.]]|
|Saturday, June 08, 2002||[[A scruffy-looking backpacker approaches Dewey at the Information Desk.]] / Backpacker: I need a cookbook. / [[The head and paws of a small animal emerge from the top of the backpacker's pack.]] / [[The small animal is free of the pack - it's a squirrel!]] / [[The squirrel leaps off the pack and into...|
|Sunday, June 09, 2002||[[Mel and Colleen talk in the forground. In the background Dewey chased a squirrel.]] / Mel: What's *that*? / Colleen: Looks like a pile of peanuts. / [[The squirrel jumps up, Dewey still in pursuit.]] / Mel: Don't people understand that there's *no food allowed*?!? / [[Dewey falls on his face as the...|
|Squirrel||Mel: There's a squirrel in the library? / Dewey [[brushing himself off]: Fast sucker, too! / Mel: If only we could afford an exterminator... / Dewey: No price is too high for removing that miserable rodent! / Mel: So you'd forego that new "Envideo X-Force Super Gamer" graphics card? / Dewey: "Live and...|
|Tuesday, June 11, 2002||[[Mel and Dewey are at the Information Desk in the background. Dewey is working at the computer. Mel watches as Merv walks to the right in the foreground carrying a pile of books.]] / [[Mel watches as Merv walks to the left, pile-of-books-less.]] / [[Mel watches as Merv walks to the right, carrying...|
|Wednesday, June 12, 2002||[[Fort Mallville stands proud, full of books stacked spine out. Girl bends to read spines]] / Girl: Mommy! Here's the book I wanted! / Mom: Then get it! We're in a hurry! / [[Girl pulling out book from center of fort]] / [[elsewhere in the library...]] / Mel: What was that sound? / Dewey: Experience|
|Thursday, June 13, 2002||[[Tamara is glaring at a huge pile of books. The "Fort Mallville" banner droops forlornly across the pile.]] / Merv's friend [[from somewhere under the pile]]: "Trust me," you said, "My father's an architect." / Tamara: I hope you know you're reshelving those.|
|Friday, June 14, 2002||[[Dewey is facing the reader straight on.]] / Dewey: There are two kinds of people. / Dewey [[holding up one book]]: The kind that return books on time, / Dewey [[holding up another book]]: and the kind that return them late. / [[A dark-haired young man is talking to Dewey.]] / Young man [[gesturing...|
|Saturday, June 15, 2002||[[A young man and a teenage girl are recreating the light saber training scene from Star Wars - the one aboard the Millennium Falcon.]] / Young man [[wearing a helmet that covers his eyes and quoting Luke Skywalker while brandishing a long stick as if it were a light saber]]: "I can't see a thing in this...|
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