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| Monday, January 31, 2005 | [[Tamara, Dewey, and Colleen sitting at a table as Mel approaches]]
/ Mel: Why so down?
/ Tamara: My finger puppet budget was slashed.
/ Dewey: The library won't buy "Shaun of the Dead" on DVD.
/ Colleen: I still have three years until retirement. / Mel: Well I have a surprise for you!
/ Tamara: A visit... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050131 |
| Tuesday, February 01, 2005 | [[Tamara is very happy]]
/ Tamara: Mel hired a personal coach for us!
/ Dewey: I'd forgotten that you LIKE criticism. / [[The coach walks in]]
/ Tamara: It's the way we grow and learn!
/ Coach: Who made that storytime display, a gang of retards? / [[Tamara has the coach in a wrist-lock, Dewey looks on]]
/ Tamara:... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050201 |
| Wednesday, February 02, 2005 | Trainer: Dominate that computer! Click the mouse like you own it!
/ Colleen: I don't want to own it. I hate computers. / Trainer: That's good! Use that anger!
/ [[Colleen gets up and walks away]] / Trainer: I mean, on the computer.
/ Colleen: I used to, but then they started charging staff for broken... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050202 |
| Thursday, February 03, 2005 | Coach: Shelve those books! Move!
/ Buddy: But I am shelving these books. / Coach: Do it faster!
/ Buddy: If I go any faster the friction from the air will ignite my fur and I'll die a fiery death. / Coach: That's... that's not true, is it?
/ Buddy: And all the books will get out of order. So it's just... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050203 |
| Friday, February 04, 2005 | Mel [[to two young patrons]]: Sorry, you can't check out books until your fines are paid.
/ Coach: You can do better than that! Be authoritative! Say it from your small intestine! / Mel: What's the use? Every time I say something...
/ Coach: That was yesterday! Create your tomorrow! / Mel: YOU CAN'T...
/ Tamara:... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050204 |
| Saturday, February 05, 2005 | Mel: I'm sorry your visit wasn't very successful.
/ Coach: On the contrary, just changing one person's life is reward enough. / Mel: Who...?
/ Merv: Thanks for all those great tips!
/ Coach: My pleasure, young man. / Mel: He didn't really need to be more effective.
/ Merv: At last I have the self-confidence... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050205 |
| Sunday, February 06, 2005 | [[In the background, a patron is climbing a bookshelf, Mel is chasing Merv who is holding a book, Ned is reading a newspaper naked, Buddy the Book Beaver is flying a child over his head, Tamara is standing with her arms out]]
/ Patron [[hands on hips]]: I thought libraries were supposed to be QUIET!
/ Dewey... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050206 |
| Monday, February 07, 2005 | Cathy: Guess what I have!
/ Dewey: A paper-thin excuse to talk to me? / Cathy: What?
/ Dewey: Never mind. What do you have, Cathy? / Cathy: Tickets to Revenge of the Sith!
/ Dewey: The recycle bin is over there. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050207 |
| Tuesday, February 08, 2005 | Cathy: You aren't excited about the new "Star Wars" movie?
/ Dewey: Only in the sense of wanting to throttle George Lucas. / Cathy: But you and Merv reenacted the whole trilogy with Legos. Twice.
/ Dewey: That was the first trilogy. Before the dark times. Before Jar Jar. / Cathy: The floppy-eared guy?... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050208 |
| Revenge of the trailer | Merv: Let's download the *Revenge of the Sith* trailer!
/ Dewey: I'd rather gnaw my own arm off. / Merv: But there are wookees!
/ Dewey: Have you forgotten the love scenes in *Attack of the Clones?* / Merv: I never saw them. You kept covering my eyes.
/ Dewey: The horror...the horror... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050209 |
| Thursday, February 10, 2005 | [[Dewey is sitting at a computer surrounded by the staff and Merv]]
/ Colleen [[dressed as Darth Vader]]: "Don't be so proud of this technological terror you've created."
/ Tamara [[Yoda]]: For storytime late I will be!
/ Buddy [[Chewbacca]]: Nraaahh!
/ Mel [[Leah]]: Why are we staging a Star Wars intervention?
/ Merv... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050210 |
| Friday, February 11, 2005 | [[Mel, Buddy, Colleen and, off-panel, Tamara all hand Merv money.]] / [[Merv receives a box from a man in a dark alley.]] / [[Dewey is relaxing in a chair. Merv hands him a box.]] / Dewey: A sealed vintage "Star Wars Cantina Adventure" set!
/ Merv: With four action figures! If you don't want it, I... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050211 |
| Saturday, February 12, 2005 | [[Dewey is at the information desk playing with a Darth Vader figurine and an R2-D2 figurine. Cathy is leaning on his computer]]
/ Cathy: I heard you've lightened up about Episode III.
/ Dewey: I can't miss the origin of Darth Vader, can I? / Cathy: So we're on for May 19th?
/ Dewey: Okay, but it's not... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050212 |
| Sunday, February 13, 2005 | Library Tip #27: Don't take it personally / [[Guy with goatee walks up to Dewey at the reference desk.]]
/ Guy with goatee: The catalog won't work for me.
/ Dewey [[pointing to his computer screen showing the catalog down]]: It won't work for anybody. The system's down. / Guy with goatee: You must really... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050213 |
| Monday, February 14, 2005 | [[Dewey is speaking on the phone in the library.]]
/ Dewey: I'm sorry, you can't renew them again. / Dewey: Yes, that is a lot of DVDs to watch before tomorrow. / Dewey: Maybe if you had a T.V. in every room? No problem, I'm here to help. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050214 |
| Tuesday, February 15, 2005 | [[Mel and a female patron are standing with Dewey, who is behind a desk.]]
/ Mel: This woman says you told her husband to buy a T.V. for every room in their house.
/ Dewey: It was a suggestion. / Patron: You're an authority figure!
/ Dewey: Really? Loan me $200. / Patron: Don't be silly.
/ Dewey: So, not... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050215 |
| Wednesday, February 16, 2005 | [[Ned and Dewey are standing together in the library.]]
/ Ned: I'd like to complain about the facilities.
/ Dewey: I'm sure you would. / Ned: Separate restrooms for men and women? It's just like apartheid!
/ Dewey: Let's check. Ladies, would you like to share a bathroom with Nelson Mandela here? / [[Two... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050216 |
| Crichton | [[Female patron returns a copy of *State of Fear* to Dewey]]
/ Patron: This book wasn't very good.
/ Dewey: I'll have the author flogged. / [[Dewey picks up the telephone]]
/ Dewey: There must be accountability.
/ Patron: What?
/ Dewey: Surely you agree? / [[Dewey speaks into the telephone as Mel enters... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050217 |
| Friday, February 18, 2005 | [[Dewey talking to Mel, who is sitting at her computer.]]
/ Dewey: Sleeping on chairs isn't allowed, right?
/ Mel: Right. / Dewey: Or on the floor?
/ Mel: Correct. / [[Dewey is in the stacks. A homeless guy is sleeping on a shelf]]
/ Dewey: You're good.
/ Homeless man: Wake me up for the cooking class.... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050218 |
| Saturday, February 19, 2005 | Computer Victim: Can you solve this computer problem?
/ Colleen: Sure. / [[Colleen flips the power switch to off.]] / Colleen: Oh, YOUR problem. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050219 |
| Sunday, February 20, 2005 | [[Boy balances a book on his index finger.]] / [[Boy balances a book on his raised right foot.]] / [[Boy balances a book on his nose in the foreground while his mother and Dewey speak in the back.]] / Mother: You said books would put his energy to good use!
/ Dewey: If you don't think that's a good... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050220 |
| Monday, February 21, 2005 | [[Grandma, Tamara, and Dewey eating.]]
/ Grandma: Want a bite of my sandwich?
/ Tamara: No thank you. / [[Tamara leaning away from proffered sandwich]]
/ Grandma: It's roast beef. Very fresh.
/ Tamara: I'm sure it is. / [[Tamara now holding her face, upset]]
/ Grandma: Look at all that juice!
/ Dewey: She... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050221 |
| Tuesday, February 22, 2005 | Grandma [[watching Tamara]]: She doesn't eat meat?
/ Dewey: None at all. / Grandma: Too expensive for her?
/ Dewey: I think it's more of a personal choice. / Grandma: I used to be too poor for meat. Then I learned to count cards. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050222 |
| Wednesday, February 23, 2005 | [[Dewey is looking at a ham on his desk.]] / [[Tamara arrives.]]
/ Dewey: Why is there a ham on my desk?
/ Tamara: I put it there. / [[Tamara is holding a bucket and sponge.]]
/ Dewey: Why did you...?
/ Tamara: Because it was on my desk. I'm going to be scrubbing all day! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050223 |
| Thursday, February 24, 2005 | [[A ham has a note on it which reads: "Ham of the Month, Tamara - Dig in! -Dewey's Grandma"]] / [[The ham is sitting on a table where Tamara and Dewey are inspecting it.]]
/ Tamara: Maybe I can send it back.
/ Dewey: Then they can sew it to the other returned pig parts and bring it back to life! / [[Dewey... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050224 |
| Friday, February 25, 2005 | [[Tamara is holding a ham above a waste basket. Colleen is standing behind Tamara.]]
/ Colleen: Why not have some? It's already dead.
/ Tamara: That's not the point. / Colleen: Poor thing. I guess it died in vain.
/ Tamara: Fine, why don't you take it. / [[Colleen is folding her arms. Tamara is holding... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050225 |
| Saturday, February 26, 2005 | [[Dewey and Tamara are standing together in the library.]]
/ Dewey: I take it you disposed of your Ham of the Month?
/ Tamara: I gave it to the homeless shelter and canceled the other eleven. / Dewey: That won't help.
/ Tamara: Surely your grandma will get the hint. / [[Dewey's grandma is standing behind... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050226 |
| Sunday, February 27, 2005 | Patron [[holding "Health Freak" magazine]]: Who needs hormone replacement? I've got a natural solution!
/ Colleen: This looks like tree bark. / Patron: Just chew it up. No more hot flashes! / Colleen: Any side effects?
/ Patron: Aside from the slivers in my gums? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050227 |
| Monday, February 28, 2005 | [[Dewey is standing behind Mel, who is sitting at a desk while on the telephone.]]
/ Dewey: What's up?
/ Mel: All the computer speakers are missing. / Dewey: < http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050228 |
| Tuesday, March 01, 2005 | [[Dewey is sitting at a computer in the library.]]
/ Dewey: You can come out now. I know you're there. / Voice: How did you know it was me?
/ Dewey: Who else would hide every speaker in the library? / Shusher [[revealing himself]]: The Shusher(tm): Keeper of Quiet
/ Dewey: Didn't we have a discussion... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20050301 |
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