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| Thursday, December 02, 2004 | [[Cathy speaking to Dewey at counter, Grandma in foreground with wad of cash and a cane]]
/ Cathy: Your grandma the fortune teller had good news about us!
/ Dewey: For what you paid she'd have good news about the plague.
/ Grandma: Hold those dice! Grandma is ready to roll! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20041202 |
| Friday, December 03, 2004 | [[Patron holding up paper to Dewey, Mel in background]]
/ Patron: Part of this web page wasn't printed!
/ Dewey: Ah, but part of it *was* printed, wasn't it? / [[Patron walking away unhappily]]
/ Mel: How's your day so far?
/ Dewey [[reading comic]]: I'd say it's half full. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20041203 |
| Saturday, December 04, 2004 | [[Dewey speaking to Tamara at lunch table]]
/ Tamara: Tofu chowder
/ Dewey: Don't you mean "clam"? / Tamara: There are lots of kinds of chowder. Corn...
/ Dewey: How do you chowder corn? Could you chowder *anything*? / [[Tamara has left]]
/ Dewey: Why haven't I heard of "pork chowder"? "Cake chowder"?... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20041204 |
| Sunday, December 05, 2004 | [[Dewey stacks two piles of blocks, then Doreen knocks them over]] / Colleen: I'm so sorry she...
/ Dewey: It's okay, we're playing Godzilla. Time for radioactive breath. Spit out this fruit punch. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20041205 |
| Monday, December 06, 2004 | [[Dewey stands behind a desk. A woman approaches him.]]
/ Unidentified woman 1: Avez-vous des livres concernant l'esperanto?
/ Dewey: Huh? / [[The first woman is gone. A second woman approaches Dewey. On Deweys desk are two books titled "Russian" and "French". He has another book open.]]
/ Unidentified... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20041206 |
| Tuesday, December 07, 2004 | Dewey [[to Mel]]: I can't do bilingual storytime! I'm monolingual. If that.
/ Mel: You handled today well. / Dewey: You're punishing me for doing my job?
/ Mel: I'm rewarding you for doing it superbly. / Patron: Gutentag!
/ Mel: Opportunity knocks!
/ Dewey: Nobody's home. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20041207 |
| Wednesday, December 08, 2004 | Dewey [[to Tamara]]: I need advice on bilingual storytime.
/ Tamara: Perform a fingerplay. / Dewey: The only time I use my fingers to communicate is in traffic.
/ Tamara: Learn from me. I'm an expert. / Dewey: Then why didn't *you* get saddled with this job.
/ Tamara: I learned from you. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20041208 |
| Thursday, December 09, 2004 | [[Dewey sits with a book open for story time]]
/ Dewey: Today I'll be reading in English and Klingon. / [[Mel stands with arms crossed, while Tamara points]]
/ Mel: Does he have to worm out of *everything*?
/ Tamara: Wait. I think he's underestimated his audience. / [[Dewey takes cover behind his book... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20041209 |
| Friday, December 10, 2004 | Dewey [[to angry parents and children]]: Okay, I admit it. Everyone here speaks more languages than I. / Dewey: I'm sure if we put our heads together we can make everyone happy. / [[Parents reading to group of children with Dewey lounging in the middle]]
/ Parent 1: Ma chi traversa il mio ponte?
/ Parent... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20041210 |
| Saturday, December 11, 2004 | Computer Victim: It says "press any key to continue." I can't find the "any" key.
/ Colleen: Me neither. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20041211 |
| Sunday, December 12, 2004 | Dewey [[pointing at person off screen]]: You want the truth? / Dewey [[eyes closed, fist clenched]]: You couldn't handle the truth! / [[Tamara has her arms around a female patron on the other side of the reference desk from Dewey]]:
/ Tamara [[pointing to the right]] They only had decaf. Why don't... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20041212 |
| Monday, December 13, 2004 | [[Young male patron is talking to Dewey]]
/ Patron: There's a naked man in the bathroom!
/ Dewey: That would be Ned. He's harmless unless you ask him to contribute to society. / Patron [[pointing]]: There he is! / [[Dewey, hand covering eyes, faces Lambert wearing only a hat and a towel]]
/ Dewey: Oh... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20041213 |
| Tuesday, December 14, 2004 | [[Dewey is behind the circulation desk, talking to a bearded male in a hat who is wearing a towel around his waist and holding up a water hose]]
/ Dewey: We don't have a shower here, Lambert.
/ Lambert: You're telling me! I had to bring my own hose! / Lambert: And don't get me started about drainage!... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20041214 |
| Wednesday, December 15, 2004 | [[Mel is facing Tamara, Dewey, who is holding a helmet, Colleen and Buddy, who is holding a water hose]]
/ Mel: Libraries don't traditionally have showers.
/ Tamara: If we did I could bike to work!
/ Dewey: I bike to work. I don't need a shower.
/ Colleen: That's what YOU think.
/ Buddy: Just bring your own... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20041215 |
| Thursday, December 16, 2004 | [[Mel is speaking ofstage. Tamara is listening, Dewey is talking to Buddy]]
/ Mel: For our new shower policy I've considered all the excellent proposals you've shared with me...
/ Dewey: She has no idea what to do... / Mel: ...and I've concluded we need more information to properly address this issue.
/ Dewey:... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20041216 |
| Friday, December 17, 2004 | [[Dewey is at the circulation desk, talking to a bearded, shabbily-dressed male, identified as Lambert in a previous strip]]
/ Lambert: I joined the Y. They have decent showers.
/ Dewey: I'm happy to hear that. / Lambert [[pointing at Dewey]]: I'm disappointed. A library should meet the needs of the public.
/ Dewey:... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20041217 |
| Saturday, December 18, 2004 | [[Man at reference desk, talking to Dewey, who's pointing off panel]]
/ Man: Card catalog?
/ Dewey: Those computers over there. / Man: [[holding fingers of one hand card distance apart]] C-A-R-D. Small thing, paper, alphabetized, in a drawer.
/ Dewey: Long gone. / Man: Sears Catalog?
/ Dewey: I think you've... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20041218 |
| Sunday, December 19, 2004 | [[Dewey faces a patron at the desk]]
/ Dewey: You want to donate this book?
/ Patron: That's right. / [[Dewey opens book]]
/ Dewey: "Property Mallville Jail" / [[Dewey begins to walk away]]
/ Patron: It's not like they have a book drop!
/ Dewey: I'll take care of it. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20041219 |
| Monday, December 20, 2004 | [[Envelope addressed 'Dewey' lying on a desk]] / [[Dewey reads the contents aloud]]
/ Dewey:"Dewey my gooey friend is not chewy like caramel but inside he's so sweet / he's neat." / Dewey: "Happy Holidays, Tamara"
/ Colleen: She rhymed "Colleen" with "Spleen". http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20041220 |
| Tuesday, December 21, 2004 | Tamara [[to Colleen and Dewey]]: I wanted to let you all know how I feel about you.
/ Colleen: How about saying it with cash?
/ Dewey: Or donuts? / [[Tamara continuing to speak to Colleen in Dewey in background]]
/ Tamara: I express myself through poetry. This was my first foray into internal rhyme.
/ [[Mel... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20041221 |
| Wednesday, December 22, 2004 | [[Tamara faces Dewey with her arms crossed]]
/ Tamara: You like bad movies. Why don't you like bad poetry?
/ Dewey: Because I've never read a poem starring Rutger Haver. / [[Tamara and Dewey look at each other]] / [[Tamara sitting while Dewey stands over her]]
/ Tamara: Power...Flower...Tower...
/ Dewey:... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20041222 |
| Thursday, December 23, 2004 | Dewey [[looking at Tamara's poem]]: Ha!
/ Tamara: Hi Cathy! Can I...
/ Cathy: Help me? Yes. / Cathy: Start by not writing Dewey any more poetry. I don't need competition from a female friend who "gets" him. / Tamara: Have you tried meditation?
/ Cathy: Do you think I'll catch him by holding still? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20041223 |
| Friday, December 24, 2004 | Merv [[to Dewey]]: My English teacher told me about Tamara's B-movie poetry. / Merv: I've decided to write violent video game poetry / Merv: What rhymes with "shattered trachea?"
/ Tamara [[walking up to Merv]]: Am I missing a reading? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20041224 |
| Saturday, December 25, 2004 | Ned [[reading to group of smiling children]]: "Then one foggy Christmas Eve Santa came to say, 'Rudolph, with your nose so bright, won't you guide my sleigh tonight?' " / [[Children frowning]]
/ Ned [[from out of frame]]: "Then all the fickle reindeer bowed to the approbation of the alpha male and accepted... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20041225 |
| Sunday, December 26, 2004 | Guy: how fast are your computers?
/ Colleen: not fast at all. They just sit there. / Guy: I mean, how many gigahertz?
/ Colleen: If you're in pain you should see a doctor. / Guy: how fast are your computers?
/ Dewey: no, they can't handle Doom 3. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20041226 |
| Monday, December 27, 2004 | [[Mel is walking, holding a box marked "Emergency Only" and Colleen and Dewey are looking in it]]
/ Mel : These are our new emergency supplies!
/ Colleen : Anything good?
/ Dewey : Beef jerky. Some water. / [[Mel is standing looking at Colleen and Dewey who are sitting with the box in front of them. Dewey... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20041227 |
| Tuesday, December 28, 2004 | Mel: You never take my emergency preparedness seriously!
/ Dewey: It's not personal.
/ Tamara: I'm just optimistic! / Dewey: Yeah, me too. Optimistic.
/ Tamara: About what, the "Hellblazer" movie?!?
/ Colleen [[raising her hand]]: With me it is actually personal. / Mel [[from out of frame]]: You can debate... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20041228 |
| Wednesday, December 29, 2004 | [[Mel leading Staff Meeting with Buddy, Dewey, Tamara and Colleen in attendance.]]
/ Mel: Pay attention. What you learn today could save lives.
/ Mel: Buddy, Will you read from the training manual? / [[While Mel demonstrates, Buddy reads:]]
/ Buddy: "Step One: Light the pan of gasoline on fire." / [[Flames... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20041229 |
| Thursday, December 30, 2004 | [[Buddy, Tamara, Colleen, Mel, and Dewey are all standing in front of a big fire. Mel is holding a fire extinguisher.]]
/ Buddy: Pull the pin!
/ Tamara: Point and shoot!
/ Colleen: Duck and cover!
/ Mel: Don't rush me. It's important to read the instructions.
/ Dewey: That will look great on your graves... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20041230 |
| Friday, December 31, 2004 | Mel: And what did you learn from today's training?
/ Tamara: Don't play with fire
/ Dewey: Don't attend trainings.
/ Buddy: Use building materials that contain lots of asbestos!
/ Colleen: Nothing. As usual. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20041231 |
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