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| Thursday, October 09, 2003 | Mel: ...So now I figure Merv's going to get a paper route to buy more votes.
/ Dewey: A paper route? You don't know Merv. / Boy [[surrounded by boxes labelled with class subjects]]: This is ALL your homework from last year?
/ Merv: Well, except for my creative writing project. I already sold the movie... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20031009 |
| Friday, October 10, 2003 | [[Merv is talking to another kid]]
/ Kid: Why should I buy your homework instead of doing it myself?
/ Merv: It's a waste of time. Take math - Mr. Levine essentially uses the same tests every year. / Merv: I ran a statistical analysis on six years' worth of tests, exams and quizzes. Using this model,... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20031010 |
| Saturday, October 11, 2003 | [[Merv smiles triumphantly at Mel, holding a box of cash.]]
/ Merv: I'm back, with enough funds to buy myself the presidency for life!
/ Mel: No, you're not. We changed the bylaws. Now the president must be over 18. / Merv: Oh.
/ Mel: This isn't a game, Merv. We rely on the *Friends of the Mallville Library*... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20031011 |
| Sunday, October 12, 2003 | Dewey: You want a book about sex?
/ Kid: Yup! / Dewey: And your mom's okay with this?
/ Kid: I guess. She sent me over to ask you. / Dewey [[holding a stack of books, handing one over to the kid]]: Okay, this one's a little graphic but...
/ Unidentified elderly woman: INsects! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20031012 |
| Monday, October 13, 2003 | Dewey: Have you seen Merv?
/ Colleen: He's with Tamara. Apparently there's some new action figure. / [[Merv is holding a Nancy Pearl Librarian Action Figure and several superhero action figures]]
/ Librarian Action Figure [[shushing]]: What if every superhero read the same book? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20031013 |
| Action Figure | Dewey: A *librarian* action figure?
/ Tamara: [[pointing with left index finger at small figure held in right hand]] Isn't it cute? Look, she has a hair bun! / Dewey: [[manipulating figure with both hands]] You don't usually see the words "librarian" and "action" together.
/ Tamara: It's a great thing... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20031014 |
| Wednesday, October 15, 2003 | [[A patron's finger points to an action figure at the reference desk.]]
/ Patron: What's that?
/ Dewey: Action Figure. / Patron: What kind? Superman? Batman?
/ Dewey: Librarian. / [[Patron examines the action figure.]] / Patron: What's her secret identity?
/ Dewey: Race car driver. Just like the rest... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20031015 |
| Thursday, October 16, 2003 | [[Merv is holding a Librarian Action Figure]]
/ Dewey: What are you doing?
/ Merv: Studying the "shushing" action. / [[They watch it in action]] / Dewey: See, it's all in the shoulder.
/ Merv: I have much to learn. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20031016 |
| Friday, October 17, 2003 | [[Colleen holding Doreen.]]
/ Patron: "It's too bad you couldn't adopt a baby who looks like you!" / [[Colleen glares at patron. Doreen mimics her glare.]
/ Patron: Never mind. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20031017 |
| Saturday, October 18, 2003 | Dewey: How's that secretarial resume coming?
/ Patron [[typing]]: Great! / < http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20031018 |
| Sunday, October 19, 2003 | [[In the library. A lady patron is wearing a clown suit with boot on her head.]] / Dewey: I notice it's always the left shoe.
/ lady patron: Yes. I have it on good authority that I'm ... / Dewey and patron: ... not right in the head!
/ Buddy: Hey, I'm left-brained too! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20031019 |
| Monday, October 20, 2003 | [[Colleen is helping a patron use the computer]]
/ Patron: It says, "You have performed an illegal operation."
/ Colleen: Don't move, I'm calling the police! / [[Cut to: information desk]]
/ Dewey: Ha ha, I think she thought you were serious!
/ Colleen [[to phone]]: Hello, FBI? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20031020 |
| Tuesday, October 21, 2003 | [[Dewey and Colleen are surrounded by two police officers.]]
/ Cop #1: Somebody make an emergency call?
/ Colleen: I was trying to do my civic duty...
/ Dewey: But it was a mistake so I hung up.
/ Cop #2: On a 911 call? That's a crime! / Dewey: You don't understand, she...
/ Cop #1: You calling me ignorant,... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20031021 |
| Wednesday, October 22, 2003 | [[Merv sees Dewey in a police squad car. Dewey looks angry]] / [[Merv has disappeared]] / [[Merv takes a picture of Dewey in the squad car]] / [[Merv is gone again]] http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20031022 |
| Thursday, October 23, 2003 | Merv: What did you learn in the hoosegow?
/ Dewey [[shelving a book]]: In the what? / Merv: I understand. You don't want to talk about prison. I've seen Oz.
/ Dewey: Merv, I sat in a police car for twelve minutes while they called in my I.D. / Merv: And all the while you had to do without T.V. Truly... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20031023 |
| Friday, October 24, 2003 | Mel: You got yourself arrested?
/ Dewey: I wasn't ARRESTED, I was DETAINED. / Mel: That sort of thing doesn't reflect well on the library.
/ Dewey: Don't worry, I'm taking steps to make sure it won't happen again. / Ned: The problem with anarchists is getting them to come to meetings.
/ Dewey: I pretty... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20031024 |
| Saturday, October 25, 2003 | Tamara: Sir, the library is closing now.
/ Annoyed looking customer: No, it's not. It's closing in three minutes. / Tamara [looking at her watch] : I'm looking at my watch. It says nine p.m.
/ Annoyed looking customer [pointing to his watch]: Is yours an atomic clock, synchronized to the U.S. Naval... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20031025 |
| Sunday, October 26, 2003 | [[Dewey standing in front of a spotlight.]]
/ Dewey: To be....or not to be? That is the question. / [[Mel and Dewey standing behind the circulation desk.]]
/ Mel: How is the new "task-oriented" lighting?
/ Dewey: A little dramatic. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20031026 |
| Monday, October 27, 2003 | "What's your favorite decoration?" / [[Colleen is next to a computer with an OUT OF ORDER sign]] / [[Mel is next to the posted RULES OF CONDUCT]] / [[Tamara is next to a READ poster]] / [[Dewey is next to a crack in the wall, showing the boards underneath]]
/ Dewey to kids: ... and that's why we don't... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20031027 |
| Tuesday, October 28, 2003 | Male patron: Butterfly. / Older female patron: Australia. / Younger female patron: Greed. / [[Tamara and Dewey at the desk. Dewey has a large coffee stain on his shirt.]]
/ Tamara: I'm still sorry I spilled coffee on you.
/ Dewey: Actually it's been very educational. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20031028 |
| Wednesday, October 29, 2003 | Man: I can't get the microfilm reader to work.
/ Dewey: Give me a minute. / Mel: That's not going to help.
/ Dewey: It's therapeutic. / Mel: Well we've gotten 20 years out of it.
/ Dewey: Yeah, but how many years has it gotten out of US? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20031029 |
| Thursday, October 30, 2003 | [[Dewey comes upon a woman reading "Make yourself over". He reaches out for it.]]
/ Dewey: You don't need a book on makeovers! Let me put that away for you.
/ Patron 1: How sweet! / [[Dewey, now with another patron with unkempt hair.]]
/ Patron 2: What's this?
/ Dewey: The latest edition. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20031030 |
| Friday, October 31, 2003 | Colleen [[to Merv as The Shusher(TM)]]: No, I'm not supposed to be Barney. I'm just wearing a purple dress!
/ Tamara [[dressed as Elvira]]: This isn't the costume I ordered.
/ Mel [[Han Solo]]: It suits you!
/ Dewey [[Mr. T, to Buddy who has Grouch Marx glasses]]: I pity the fool who don't have a quest... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20031031 |
| Saturday, November 01, 2003 | Library Tip #20: You don't have to come in to the library / Dewey: You can do that from home, you know.
/ Guy: I like coming in. / Dewey: You could save yourself travel time.
/ Guy: I live nearby. / Dewey: You'd be able to...
/ Guy: You don't like me, do you? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20031101 |
| Sunday, November 02, 2003 | Dewey: No, that's entirely the wrong approach.
/ [[Woman looks angry]] / Mel: Women don't you to be right. They want you to be nice.
/ Dewey: I'd rather be right.
/ Mel: Just pretend you're their girlfriend. / Another Woman: I need some...
/ Dewey: Where did you get those shoes? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20031102 |
| Monday, November 03, 2003 | [[Mel stands behind Dewey, while he works on the computer]]
/ Mel: Dewey, can you work late tonight?
/ Dewey: How late? / Mel: Midnight.
/ Dewey: I'm sorry. I thought you said, "Midnight" / [[Buddy pokes his head over the cubicle wall beside Dewey]]
/ Mel: Kids need a place to go.
/ Dewey: The mall was... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20031103 |
| Midnight Madness | Cathy: Hi Dewey want to go see a movie?
/ Dewey: I can't. I'm working until midnight. / Cathy: Since when is the library open until Midnight?
/ Dewey: New Social Program. Keeps kids off the streets. / Cathy: What about me?
/ Dewey: You'll have to keep yourself off the streets. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20031104 |
| Wednesday, November 05, 2003 | [[Dewey stands in the stacks talking to three kids]]
/ Dewey: Welcome to the new midnight library program. Dewey: Our motto: "It beats the streets".
/ Kid 1: I'd rather be on the streets.
/ Kid 2: Me too.
/ Kid 3: Word. / [[Dewey crosses his arms]]
/ Dewey: Okay, motto change: "It beats jail".
/ Kid 1: Has... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20031105 |
| Thursday, November 06, 2003 | [[Cathy peeks in the door at Dewey, who looks glum]]
/ Cathy: I decided to stop by and see how your midnight program was going. / [[Cathy and Dewey walk through the stacks]]
/ Dewey: It was rough at first, but then I found a way to channel their violent tendencies. / [[Scene shifts to three kids playing... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20031106 |
| Friday, November 07, 2003 | [[Dewey and Cathy stand in front of two kids]]
/ Dewey: Okay guys, Ms. Reed here is going to join us.
/ Cathy: I've never played D & D. / [[Zoom in to one of the kids]]
/ Kid 1: Well you know what it's like when you're in an alley and some guy pulls a knife and you're all, "This is it, I've only got one... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20031107 |
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