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| Tuesday, February 11, 2003 | [[Dewey makes a series of faces: gritting his teeth, expanding his cheeks, wiggling his ears.]] / [[We see a patron with a camera.]]
/ Dewey: I can do this until you run out of film.
/ Patron: It's digital. Do that thing with your ears again. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030211 |
| Wednesday, February 12, 2003 | [[The first panel is a picture of Dewey's Mallville Public Library ID badge. The badge reads "Hi, my name is Dewey, how can I help you?" There is a picture of Dewey, scowling, on the badge.]] / Mel [[smiling, pointing to the badge she is holding]]: This will help us be more secure.
/ Dewey: Is it made... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030212 |
| Thursday, February 13, 2003 | Merv: Hey, new ID badges! Nice barcode!
/ Dewey: I have a barcode? Great, now I feel even more like a piece of merchandise. / Merv: Yeah? Have you tried scanning yourself? / [[Cut to: The staff room]]
/ Colleen: Someone just checked out "a caucasian male in black t-shirt."
/ Mel: Happens every day. It's... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030213 |
| Friday, February 14, 2003 | [[Everyone is holding up their hands and running away when three men enter with rifles]] / [[Dewey and Mel are hiding under a table]]
/ Dewey: Explain again how our ID badges make us safer.
/ Mel: They don't have them, so we know they don't work here.
/ Rifleman with NRA on helmet: Excuse me, can y'all... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030214 |
| Saturday, February 15, 2003 | Library Tip #13: Read Repsonsibly
/ [[Man is reading while walking the streets]] / [[Engrossed in his book, he passes the Mallville Barber Shop and enter's Spike's Tattoo and Body Piercing Emporium]] / [[Still reading]]
/ Man: Just a little off the side.
/ Piercer: Which side, mate? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030215 |
| Sunday, February 16, 2003 | [[A blind patron, Matt, is talking to Dewey. Mel is listening in]]
/ Matt: And Daredevil went Thwock! Pop! It was so cool!
/ Dewey: I'm looking forward to it. / Mel: I'm happy Matt has a role model, but..a blind superhero?
/ Dewey: Actually, many popular superheroes have disabilities. / Dewey: Flash is... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030216 |
| Monday, February 17, 2003 | Female patron: That's the one. It just went black.
/ Colleen: Let me have a look. / [[Colleen sees that Doreen is playing with two severed wires from the inside of the computer]] / Female: Darn computers, huh?
/ Colleen [[nervously]]: You said it. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030217 |
| Tuesday, February 18, 2003 | [[Tamara standing, looking at Colleen by the computer with Doreen.]]
/ Tamara: I heard Doreen was making a little mischief today.
/ Colleen: Absolutely not. She's a dream. / Tamara: It's okay, Colleen. Babies are people. They do their own thing.
/ Colleen: Not Doreen. She does MY thing. / Tamara: And... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030218 |
| Wednesday, February 19, 2003 | Dewey: So you want recipes?
/ Man: Yes, but I only eat raw vegetables.
/ Woman: And I eat nothing but cooked meat! / [[Tamara and Dewey are talking at Dewey's cubicle.]]
/ Tamara: And then what did you do?
/ Dewey: Confirmed their last name wasn't "Sprat," then ditched them in the cooking section. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030219 |
| Thursday, February 20, 2003 | [[Merv looks to his left. His eyes are very large.]] / [[Merv looks forward.]] / [[Merv looks to his right.]] / [[Merv holds the "eyes" in his hands.]]
/ Dewey: Yup, you looked wide awake.
/ Merv: Cool. These should get me through chemistry and half of Spanish! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030220 |
| Friday, February 21, 2003 | Man: Pencil?
/ Tamara: Here you go. / Man: Sharpener?
/ Tamara: Next to the photocopier. / [[Man has apparently stuck the pencil in the side of his head and blood coming out]]
/ Man: Bandage?
/ Tamara: Same drugstore where you bought the fake blood and the pencil-in-the-head gag. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030221 |
| Saturday, February 22, 2003 | Dewey: I was supposed to conduct a tour for a class, but they're running late.
/ Mel [holding a piece of paper]: They're not teenagers? / Dewey: No, much younger.
/ Mel [waves to Dewey]: Then I'll see you tomorrow. / [Three men are in the library: Man 1 is holding a dog, Man 2 is straining to hold on... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030222 |
| Sunday, February 23, 2003 | "Is this where I volunteer to be a librarian?" / [[It's sunny outside]]
/ Dewey: Do you have a degree?
/ Mel: It takes years to qualify.
/ Tamara: Working with children is challenging.
/ Colleen: You need knowledge of computers. / [[It's raining outside]]
/ Dewey: Sure. Cover for me.
/ Mel: It's against... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030223 |
| Sunday, February 23, 2003 | "Is this where I volunteer to be a librarian?" / [[It's sunny outside]]
/ Dewey: Do you have a degree?
/ Mel: It takes years to qualify.
/ Tamara: Working with children is challenging.
/ Colleen: You need knowledge of computers. / [[It's raining outside]]
/ Dewey: Sure. Cover for me.
/ Mel: It's against... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030223 |
| Monday, February 24, 2003 | [[A skateboarder asks Dewey for help.]]
/ Skateboarder: I'm looking for the "young adult librarian".
/ Dewey: You're looking at him! / Skateboarder: Oh. I thought you'd be . . . younger. / [[Mel watches as Buddy gives Dewey a Green Lantern tattoo with a Sharpie]]
/ Mel: This seems extreme.
/ Dewey: It... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030224 |
| Tuesday, February 25, 2003 | Guy: Hey, wicked tattoo!
/ Dewey: Thanks. It's Green Lantern's symbol. / Guy: Aren't they that techno band from Twin Falls?
/ Dewey: Ah, yes. Yes they are. / Guy: Cool. I heard you were hust some old guy who only reads comics.
/ Dewey: Pshaw. / [[It's later. Dewey is telling the story to Mel]]
/ Mel:... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030225 |
| Wednesday, February 26, 2003 | Dewey: Merv, do you think I'm old?
/ Merv: Compared to whom? / Dewey: Your parents.
/ Merv: Are you kidding! You play video games! You like anime! You can identity any breakfast cereal blindfolded! / Dewey: What records should I be listening to?
/ Merv: What's a "record"? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030226 |
| Thursday, February 27, 2003 | [[Mel and Dewey are walking through the library.]]
/ Mel: Look Dewey, *I'm* not old so *you're* not old!
/ Dewey: Listen to this. / Dewey: George Foreman?
/ Merv: Barbeque salesman.
/ Dewey: Carbon paper?
/ Merv: Wouldn't that be black? How would you write on it?
/ Dewey: Shag carpeting?
/ Merv: You've watched... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030227 |
| Friday, February 28, 2003 | [[sulking Dewey]]
/ Buddy: I used to feel old, too. / Dewey: What did you do?
/ Buddy: [[thumbs up]] Started dating high school girls. / Dewey: Thanks, I'll remember that next time I want to go to jail.
/ Buddy: Don't knock jail. You'd get a cool nickname, like "Books". http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030228 |
| Saturday, March 01, 2003 | [[Ned sits at a computer. Dewey looks over his shoulder.]]
/ Dewey: Another letter to the editor?
/ Ned: No, the library system. The ergonomics here are terrible. / Dewey: Nice use of the word "actionable."
/ Ned: Wrong table height... bad viewing angle... poor lighting. I've been working all day and my... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030301 |
| Sunday, March 02, 2003 | [[Mel and Tamara are looking at the computer in Mel's office]]
/ Mel: Uh-oh. The library system got another letter about ergonomics and they're cracking down.
/ Tamara: What is it now? / [[Dewey enters on his knees and waving his hand with a knobbly cane and a blanket draped over him like a cloak]]
/ Mel:... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030302 |
| Sunday, March 02, 2003 | [[Mel and Tamara are looking at the computer in Mel's office]]
/ Mel: Uh-oh. The library system got another letter about ergonomics and they're cracking down.
/ Tamara: What is it now? / [[Dewey enters on his knees and waving his hand with a knobbly cane and a blanket draped over him like a cloak]]
/ Mel:... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030302 |
| Monday, March 03, 2003 | Dewey: This whole approach to ergonomics is wrong.
/ Mel: What approach? / Dewey: We spend all the money improving the EQUIPMENT!
/ Mel: What should we do, improve the employees? / [[Cyborg Dewey, carrying a very high stack of books passes a library patron using a computer]]
/ Patron: I'm trying to find... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030303 |
| Tuesday, March 04, 2003 | Salesman: This is our best chair. Productivity guaranteed!
/ Mel: It's perfect, but we can't afford it. / Salesman: Okay, this mid-range model has many of the features of...
/ Mel: Nice, but still too expensive. / Salesmen: Oh. Well, our economy model can still help...
/ Mel: Here's my budget. / Dewey:... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030304 |
| Wednesday, March 05, 2003 | [[Ned is sitting at a computer, two maintenance men are standing next to him]]
/ Maintenance man 1 [[holding a saw]]:You the complainer?
/ Ned: That's me.
/ Maintenance man 2 [[holding a drill]]: We're here to adjust this deskl / [[Maintenance men make adjustments]]
/ Ned: It's too high. Still too high. / Ned:... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030305 |
| Thursday, March 06, 2003 | [[An older female patron approaches Dewey at the desk]]
/ Dewey: Here to use a computer? Let's get your workspace set up correctly. / [[Dewey adjusts the desk]]
/ Dewey: First lets raise the chair and lower the desk. / [[Older female patron sits down at the computer]]
/ Dewey: I repositioned the keyboard... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030306 |
| Friday, March 07, 2003 | [[Workstation says FOR USE BY PATRONS 5'7" - 5'11" 140-190 lbs ONLY]] / [[Workstation says FOR USE BY PATRONS 4'2" - 4'4" MILD ASTIGMATISM ONLY]] / [[Workstation says FOR USE BY PATRONS 6'5" AND UP, LEFT HANDED ONLY]] / Mel: How's our new "Custom Ergonomics" program working out?
/ Dewey: Sorry sir,... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030307 |
| Saturday, March 08, 2003 | Mel: Our "custom ergonomics" program is a disaster.
/ Dewey: I know. I went back to the old system. / Mel: You reset all the desks and chairs to the same height?
/ Dewey: Yes. But with one important improvement. / Mel: They're the perfect height for you.
/ Dewey: I could sit here all day! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030308 |
| Sunday, March 09, 2003 | [[Colleen is holding an action figure, trying to get her baby, Doreen, to crawl]]
/ Tamara: Teaching Doreen to crawl?
/ Colleen: It's vital for healthy brain growth. / Tamara: Who is this little fella?
/ Colleen: Just some doll. An incentive. / Dewey: A BARNEY MILLER action figure? This is a priceless... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030309 |
| Monday, March 10, 2003 | Patron: I need some tax forms.
/ Dewey: Let me show you how to access the I.R.S. web site. / Patron: Don't you have them here?
/ Dewey: You can print out the ones you need by... / Patron: You're supposed to have them here. I'm not leaving here without my forms. / Tamara: I thought you said we were... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030310 |
| Tuesday, March 11, 2003 | [[Patron is filling out tax form while Dewey and Tamara look on]]
/ Patron: Let's see. "Number of dependents." There's me, of course... / Patron: ...Plus my cat Usagi, and my ficus George. That makes three. Thanks! / [[Patron walks away]]
/ Tamara: She could go to jail! We should say something!
/ Dewey:... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030311 |
| Wednesday, March 12, 2003 | Woman: I really need some tax advice.
/ Mel: I can't do that. But we do have a volunteer helping today. / Woman: I know. He makes me... uncomfortable
/ Mel: Really? Why? / [[Under a TAX HELP sign]]
/ Naked Ned to guy: Always use cash. Make major purchases under assumed names. Remember, taxes equal... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030312 |
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