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Monday, December 17, 2007 [[Mel is pointing to something offscreen; Dewey is sitting at a computer.]] / Mel: There's gum all over the bottom of the table in the teen area. / Dewey: I'll take care of it. / [[Mel holds an object while Dewey walks away.]] / Mel: I bought you this scraper. / Dewey: Won't need it. / [[Table fastened...
Tuesday, December 18, 2007 Woman: These kids are driving me nuts with all their chewing. / Dewey: It's art. / [[Dewey is putting a piece of paper, which reads "GUM MOSAIC", on the wall.]] / Woman: They're defacing county property! / Dewey: It's art. / [[Woman has left. Tamara and Dewey are looking after her. Dewey looks satisfied.]] / Tamara:...
Wednesday, December 19, 2007 [[Mel and Dewey are looking at the gum mosaic.]] / Mel: Your gum mosaic is getting disturbing. / Dewey: It seems to be attracting dust bunnies. / Mel: That's a dust grizzly. / Dewey: I disagree. It's more like a wookiee. / [[Child walks up.]] / Child: My cat coughed up this hairball.... / Mel: Time to...
Thursday, December 20, 2007 [[Dewey is at the reference desk computer; Tamara is behind him.]] / Tamara: You can't chew gum at the reference desk. / Dewey: It's part of my overall healthcare program. / Dewey: This gum is sweetened with XYLITOL. It may help repair dental caries and reduce plaque. / Tamara: You're finally making...
Friday, December 21, 2007 [[A child is lying on the floor having a tantrum; the child's mother and Dewey are standing nearby.]] / Child: I don't want to go to school! / Dewey: Let me handle this. / [[Child is sitting up.]] / Dewey: If you don't go to school, you'll end up with a job where you have to deal with screaming children...
 
Saturday, December 22, 2007 [[Dewey is behind the desk, talking to a mother and son and showing them a stack of books. The son is tall, has a shaved head, a tattooed or scarred arm, and several piercings.]] / Dewey: ...and those are all the books I recommend. / Mother: He's very grateful. / Mother: As a teenager his expressions...
Sunday, December 23, 2007 [[The library doors are closed with a sign reading "Mallville Public Library CLOSED for the holidays". Through the windows we can see signs of a holiday party: Mel and Tamara are holding drinks and listening to Ned, who is wearing a Santa hat; Dewey and Merv are sitting with their backs to the desk playing...
Monday, December 24, 2007 [[Cathy and Dewey sitting on couch with mugs. Christmas stocking hanging from mantle]] / Cathy: Hot buttered rum, Christmas lights, and no complaining! It's a Christmas miracle! / Cathy: I just want to thank you. I know this isn't your holiday, but you've made a real effort to -- / [[Dewey with one hand...
Tuesday, December 25, 2007 [[Mel is seated in front of a Christmas tree, chatting on a phone. She is sitting with another woman. They both have martinis.]] / Mel: Merry Christmas! / Mel: Dewey? Sorry to hear that. No, if you're sick on a holiday you just get the one day off. / [[Nighttime silhouette of a house, Christmas tree...
Wednesday, December 26, 2007 [[Tamara is carrying stuffed unicorns around her apartment, talking to Dewey on her cordless phone]] / Tamara: No, I'm listening. I'm just taking care of a few chores. / Tamara: Santa brought you the stomach flu? He brought me three unicorns. (If I could just figure out where to put them) / Tamara:...
 
Thursday, December 27, 2007 [[Doreen is holding a thick tome and talking on the phone. Colleen walks by.]] / Doreen: Mom! Dewey's sick! / Doreen: Maybe I can help. What are your symptoms? / Yeah, in my new medical reference collection. / Doreen: No, it was top of my list. / Hardbound, seven volumes.
Friday, December 28, 2007 [[Buddy's party. Buddy on the phone]] / Buddy: Hey Dewey! Did you change your mind about my mascot Christmas party? / Buddy: Yes, you ARE slick! / No, I don't think there's a "RREAARGH" here. / [[Buddy putting down phone]] / Buddy: Well, gotta go! / So, are you a chipmunk in a girl suit or a girl in a...
Saturday, December 29, 2007 Mel: Dewey! Feeling better? / Dewey [[looking in door]]: About wasting my holiday? No. Still bitter. / Mel: Well, I'm glad you came in today. / Dewey [[walking away]]: I'm here under duress. / Mel: How is that different from any other day? / [[Child, holding out book toward Me]l] I'd like to return this...
Sunday, December 30, 2007 The Unshelved Book Club presents "TAKEN" by Edward Bloor / Man: I'm looking for a new book about kidnapping? Takes place in the future? / Dewey: I just read that. / [[Awoman is being taken in a stretcher from an estate with a maid in the background]] / Dewey: In 2035 the gap between rich and poor is...
Monday, December 31, 2007 [[Female Patron is standing at the information desk]] / Patron: Is my personal information safe? / Dewey: Safe-ish. / Patron: What does that mean exactly? / Dewey: We delete all records of what you checked out as soon as you check it in. / Patron: That's not good enough! / Dewey: And I was so looking...
 
Tuesday, January 01, 2008 Woman Patron: I have more questions about your privacy policy. / Dewey: I am replete with answers. / Woman: Your computer may forget which books I read, but won't YOU remember? / Dewey: Yes, I will retain for all time the detailed reading lists of you and the thousands of other patrons I serve. / Woman:...
Wednesday, January 02, 2008 Woman: Is this conversation privileged? / Dewey: I consider this more of an interrogation. / Woman: I want to make sure you won't blab to everyone in town. / Dewey: You want to make sure no-one knows you're a privacy nut. / Woman: Exactly. / Dewey: I'll do my best to keep it from the wire services.
Thursday, January 03, 2008 Woman Patron: I've decided that your privacy policy, while lacking, is acceptable. / Dewey: I'm thrilled to my very core. / Woman: I'm read to start. / Dewey: Start? / Woman: Having satisfied myself that you can keep a secret, I'm going to tell you about my divorce and the string of messy affairs that...
Friday, January 04, 2008 [[Man holds leash of large dog that is lunging at Dewey]] / Man: This is so weird!! He's not like this with anyone else! / Dewey [[in defensive posture]]: How about you? Are you better with other people, or does everyone dislike you?
Saturday, January 05, 2008 Colleen: I've been invited to a "webinar". What's a "webinar"? / Dewey: A seminar held on the web / Colleen: Why not just call it that? / Dewey: The same training by any other nme wouldn't sound half as innovative. / Colleen: What will it take to make the word "webinar" go away? / Dewey: I'm doing my...
 
Sunday, January 06, 2008 The Unshelved Book Club: THE IMPROBABLE CAT, by Allan Ahlberg, illustrated by Peter Bailey / [[Silhouette of couple feeding a cat larger than they and a smaller dog]] / Dewey: One day, a gray cat limps out of a hedge and into David's family. It eats like crazy, and it's soon bigger than Billy, the family...
Unshelved comic strip archive [[Dewey and Tamara are looking at a chair with a "Caution Wet" sign on it]] / Dewey: Chilling. / Tamara: You're overreacting / Dewey: Neither of us saw what happened. Neither of us recognizes the handwriting. Neither of us knows what the liquid is. / [[Tamara is peeking around from the end of a stack]] / Dewey:...
Tuesday, January 08, 2008 [[Dewey stands in front of a chair with a sign reading "WET", holding out his hands to ward off Little Old Lady. Mel approaches in the background.]] / Dewey: Nothing to see here, folks! / Little Old Lady: It's just a wet chair, right? / [[Mel is now standing by them.]] / Dewey [[nervous grin]]: Right. / Little...
Wednesday, January 09, 2008 [[Dewey is looking offscreen. Buddy stand by him.]] / Dewey: Where's the chair? / Buddy: What chair? / Dewey: The one marked "wet". / Buddy: It was dry, so I took the sign off. / Buddy [[paw on chin]]: Now let's see -- which one was it? / Dewey [[on phone]]: We've got a class 1 biohazard at the library. / Yes,...
Thursday, January 10, 2008 [[Dewey approaches female patron who is sitting reading at a round table]] / Dewey: Ma'am, I have to warn you that the chair on which you are sitting may have been previously marked with a "wet" sign of unknown provenance. / Female Patron: Pardon? / Dewey: You're Butt-Deep in Germtown. / Female Patron:...
 
Friday, January 11, 2008 Computer Victim: Are you making my computer crash? / Dewey: Probably not. / Computer Victim: "Probably"? / Dewey: Making your computer crash would be against the rules. Especially if I were doing it to punish you. / Computer Victim: Is this about that cookbook I accidentally frosted? / Dewey: Probably...
Saturday, January 12, 2008 Tamara: [[clapping hands]] Happify! / Tamara: Happify! / Computer Victim: [[pointing at Tamara]] I don't know what that means. / Dewey: Follow my lead. / [[Dewey and Computer Victim are wearing unnaturally large grimacing smiles.]] / Tamara: Doesn't that feel good? / Computer Victim: How long do I have...
Sunday, January 13, 2008 The Unshelved Book Club: THE SPACE MERCHANTS, by Frederik Pohl and C.M. Kornbluth / {{Bill's annual birthday strip drawn by Gene Ambaum}} / Colleen: Happy birthday! It's signed by both authors! / Tamara: What's THAT? / Dewey: One of my favorite classic science fiction novels! / [[Picture of man cutting...
Monday, January 14, 2008 Mel: Colleen is sick. I need you to work tomorrow night. / Dewey: Let me write myself a note. / Dewey: I'll put it right here so I don't forget. / Mel: How will you remember to look at it? / Dewey: Good point. I'll make another note to remind myself. / Mel: It's so nice to see you using our office su...
Tuesday, January 15, 2008 [[Mel and Dewey at computer desk. Computer desk is covered with sticky notes.]] / Mel: I'm a little concerned about your reminder system. / Dewey: It's working for me. / Mel: What about one of those nice, new mini computers you keep looking at online. / Dewey: Are you offering me a raise? Because...
 

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