You're browsing the archives of Unshelved.
You can search these comics too.

show: [ full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]

Friday, July 20, 2007 [[Dewey approaches Tamars who looks a little sad.]] / Dewey: I'm feeling a little down today. / Tamara: Et tu, Dewey? / Dewey: Actually, I've decided to let you do your thing. / Tamara: [[looking excited]] Really? / Dewey: [[backing away with his hands out defensively as Tamara walks towards him.]] Yes. But no tickling. Unless conventional methods fail.
Saturday, July 21, 2007 [[A mother and son watch as Dewey is being chased around the library by Tamara.]] / [[Dewey and Tamara run past in one direction.]] / [[Dewey and Tamara run past in the other direction.]] / [[Tamara has caught Dewey and is tickling him.]] / Son: I'm not sure if this means "Librarian" is the best job in the world, or the worst.
Sunday, July 22, 2007 The Unshelved Book Club presents "The Devil you know" by Mike Carey. / [[Several office workers are gathered around a table.]] / Dewey: In London the dead outnumber the living-ghosts, zombies and worse. / Most aren't a problem. When they are, call someone like Felix Castor. / But Castor's been off the job for over a year. / [[Someone's finger is being pricked.]] / To make ends meet he tried to do magic at a kid's party. It didn't work out. / [[A drop of blood hits the floor.]] / Luckily he's been offered another job. / A faceless ghost has gone from haunting the Bonnington Archive to assaulting the staff. / When Castor tries to find the ghost's anchor, he's attacked. / [[The office people are attacked by flying sheets of paper.]] / Now a demon is on his trail, and a local pimp is taking more than a passing interest in his activities. / There's more going on than a simple haunting. / Castor owes the ghost. Before he can make it disappear he needs to understand what happened to her and why. / [[In the library]] / Mel: All those precious, precious office supplies. / Dewey: Yes, that was definitely the point of my book talk.
Monday, July 23, 2007 [[Library patron that looks vaguely like Harry Potter]] / Patron: I'm looking for a book. I prefer fantasy novels, but set in the present day. / Patron: It should be funny but emotionally resonant. Kids, maybe an orphan or two, fighting evil against mounting odds. / Patron: I like thick books I can sink my teeth into, with secrets that play out over many volumes. / Dewey: You're putting me on. / Patron: I knew it was too much to ask.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007 Dewey: Let me get this straight. You just finished "The Chronicles of Narnia" and you're looking for something more modern, with a sense of fun. / Patron: Yup! / Dewey: Okay, I'll bite. What about Harry Potter? / Patron: Any relation to Beatrix? / Dewey: Excuse me. [[Yells to someone else]] You'll have to leave the snitch at the door. But the broom's okay.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007 Dewey: You've never heard of Harry Potter? / Patron: Nope. / Dewey: Most popular series of, like, all time. / Patron: Sorry. / Dewey: Adored by kids and adults alike the world over? / Patron: Not this one. / Dewey: Have you been in a *cocoon*? Do you *hibernate*? / Patron: I just read a lot.
Thursday, July 26, 2007 Patron: You make this "Harry Potter" sound like the most important book in the world! / Dewey: It's not. But it's quite good. And very popular. / Patron: Well I must say it sounds exactly like my sort of book! / Dewey: Great, I'll put you on the waiting list for the first volume. / Patron: But you said everyone already *read* it! / Dewey: I guess they're rereading it? / Patron: Then let's start over, because I want something to read *today*.
Friday, July 27, 2007 [[orange stains visible on carpet]] / Tamara: Someone's been dripping on my carpet! / [[orange stains visible on book spines & top of book shelf]] / Tamara: Someone's been dripping on my books! / [[patron sitting at computer, with orange popsicle, orange stains on face, hand, desk, and computer keyboard]] / Tamara: Someone's been drippping on my computer, and he's still here! / Patron: This seat was just right.
Saturday, July 28, 2007 Tamara: There's no food allowed in the library / Patron: My mom says this isn't food. It's empty calories / Tamara: Well, that especially isn't allowed. / [[Dewey leans in from off-frame]] / Dewey: Donuts! Donuts in the staff room! / Patron: Can I finish my popsicle? / Tamara [[defeated]]: Just try not to drip.
Sunday, July 29, 2007 - Unshelved Book Club - Mouse Guard: Fall 1152 by David Peterson The Unshelved Book Club presents "Mouse Guard: Fall 1152" by David Peterson / Dewey: The Mouse Guard help the mice live safely. They keep the borders secure and find paths between villages. / Tamara: That's nice. I bet those sweet little mice need protection. / Dewey: Exactly -- they live in a dangerous world where everything is bigger than them. Three of the guard's finest, Lieam, Kenzie, and Saxon, are on the trail of a missing grain peddler when they find evidence of a plot against Lockhaven. The three travel to Barkstone in an effort to uncover the traitor. Two are attacked and one is swept up into an army led by the legendary Black Axe that marches against their home. Lockhaven's hopes rest of a mysterious hermit and the guardmouse Sadie who is trying to warn the city. / [[inset is are three panels from the Mouse Guard graphic novel. Two mice are fighting with staff and sword.]] / Staff-mouse: Are you gutting it a little too close? / Sword-mouse: It needs to look convincing. / Staff-mouse [[thwacking Sword-mouse in the face]]: Indeed. / [[Sword-mouse slashes at Staff-mouse, scratching him and drawing blood.]] / [[Cut back to the library.]] / Dewey: I thought maybe the violence would turn you off. / Tamara [[walking off with the book]]: There's a difference between being sweet and being soft.
Monday, July 30, 2007 Mel: It's official. We're no longer "The heart of the community" / Tamara: But that's our slogan! / Mel: Not any more. The city council just gave it to the mall. / Dewey: Don't you mean "transplanted"? / Mel: We need to find a new organ for our library! / Dewey: I really never know what to expect when I come to work.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007 [[Discussing a new slogan for the library]] / Tamara: How about "The Library: Hypothalamus of the community"? / Dewey: I don't even know what that *does*. / Colleen: It regulates metabolic processes, controls autonomic functions, controls the release of hormones, and serves as a link between the nervous system & endochrine system. / Colleen: Would it kill you to *read* our reference books? / Tamara: I like saying it. *Hypothalamus*. / Mel: People might even come in to ask what it means!
Wednesday, August 01, 2007 [[discussing a new slogan for the library]] / Dewey: How about "Library: *Gut* of the community" / Mel: Let's stick to organs with better p.r. / Dewey: "Guts" connotes bravery. / Tamara: "Spleen": It's a resevoir, like us! / Dewey: I edited my original suggestion: "Bowels." / Colleen: "Liver": because it promotes bile. And you know we have a lot of that.
Thursday, August 02, 2007 [[discussing a new slogan for the library]] / Mel: Our debate took too long. The rest of the town snatched up all the good organs. / Buddy: The pet store got "sacrum" / Tamara: Did we get "stem cells"? / Dewey: Is it "brain"? I still think that's too exclusive. / Colleen: "The Library: coccyx of the community."
Friday, August 03, 2007 Patron: But that is a picture ID! / Dewey: No, it's an adoption certificate. / Patron: Do you have a problem with adoption? / Mel [[pushing Dewey aside]]: Of course not! We'll take care of your daughter right away! / Mel: What's wrong with you? / Dewey: I just wasn't comfortable issuing a library card to a Cabbage Patch doll.
Saturday, August 04, 2007 [[Mel and Randy standing in front of a set of book shelves with books placed on them topsy-turvy.]] / Randy: My motto is "shelve 'em all and let God sort 'em out."
Sunday, August 05, 2007 The Unshelved Book Club presents "The Omnivore's Dilemma: A Natural History of Four Meals" by Michael Pollan / {{This strip is drawn entirely in un-inked pencil.}} / Tamara [[ holding up a copy of the book]]: This book is an attempts to help us understand the choices we face (or don't acknowledge) every day when deciding what to eat. / [[Tamara provide a voiceover for the image of three ears of corn]] / Tamara: First author Michael Pollan follows *corn* grown industrially with chemicals. Becoming feed and sweetener and other ingredients, ending up as most of the calories of a fast food meal. / [[A woman shopping, her baby is in the shopping cart.]] / Tamara [[voiceover]]: He explores the origins of the organic meal purchased from a boutique supermarket. We see what "organic" does and doesn't mean. He questions assumptions, and examines the evidence of whether it's better food. / [[A produce display case]] / Tamara [[voiceover]]: Then he goes to a farm that defies labels. It makes use of symbiotic relationships between plants and animals to produce good food for a local market. It embodies the philosophy of the farmer plus a whole lot of science. / [[A wild boar pokes its head out from behind a tree.]] / Tamara [[voiceover]]: Finally he hunts and gathers a meal (with help) in the wilds of California. / [[Tamara talking with Dewey, who is holding a popsicle]] / Tamara: Don't you care what's in that popsicle? / Dewey: The mystery makes it all the more delicious.
Monday, August 06, 2007 [[An angry patron is talking to Dewey at the computer at the reference desk]] / Patron: The way your library organizes books makes no sense! / Dewey: It's based on sound principles of logic. / Patron: I don't realize this was the Vulcan Public Library. / Dewey [[smiling]]: It's simple, really. Just tell me what you're looking for. / Patron: A biography. / Dewey: You'll need a calculator, a compass, and a sack of breadcrumbs.
Tuesday, August 07, 2007 [[An angry female patron is talking to Dewey, at the reference desk]] / Female Patron [[Throwing her arms out]]: Would it kill you to put up a few signs in here? / Dewey: It might, so we're playing it safe. / Female Patron [[looking away, over her shoulder]]: I can't even find the bathroom! / Dewey: There's a good reason for that. / Female Patron [[hands at hips]]: What? / Dewey: Job security. / [[A male patron is standing at the reference desk holding his finger up]] / Male Patron: Where's the Men's Room?
Wednesday, August 08, 2007 Mel: Let's say it was easy to find what you wanted. / Dewey [[holding his hands to his head]]: I will try to envision this fantastical reality you describe. / Mel: You'd go right to what you were looking for. You'd never find anything else! / Mel: Our system may be complex, but it breeds discovery! / Dewey [[arms crossed]]: Not to mention malnutrition. / Man with long beard: I just found my way out of the stacks! What year is it?
Thursday, August 09, 2007 Mel: I agree that it's too hard to find things in our library. But I don't want to put signs everwhere. / Mel: [[holding up a dollhouse version of the library.]] So I spent the whole weekend building this scale model of the library. It's accurate in every detail! / Dewey: Nice. But how does it help me find things? / Mel:[[lifting the roof off of the scale model and pointing]] See, there are little signs everywhere!
Friday, August 10, 2007 Mel [[head hanging]]: I give up. You're right. We need more signs. / Dewey [[hand on her shoulder]]: No, it's fine the way it is. / Mel: Really? / Dewey [[giving a thumbs up]]: Absolutely. / [[Mel walks away smiling]] / Tamara: I thought you WANTED more signs. / Dewey: The last time she was like this the place ended up looking like a Hong Kong night market.
Saturday, August 11, 2007 [[Dewey and Tamara stand back to back at computers. A coffee cup sits by Dewey's elbow.]] / Dewey: I'll be right back. / [[Tamara continues working by herself.]] / [[Dewey returns. Tamara continues working.]] / Dewey: You don't buy coffee, you just rent -- / Tamara: Stop.
Sunday, August 12, 2007 The Unshelved Book Club presents "THE EXTRAORDINARY ADVENTURES OF ALFRED KROPP" by Rick Yancey / Buddy: I know why you recommended this book to me. / Dewey: Oh? / Buddy: It's about a big, dumb guy. Like me. / Dewey: Well Alfred Kropp IS big. Off the growth charts. Before she died his mother said he was "a big boy meant for big things" but for a long time it wasn't sure what those things might be. And he IS kind of dumb. The starting quarterback started hosting "Get Kropp" days at school after he was benched by Alfred's mistake. / [[Two men with swords confront Alfred with Excalibur]] / Dewey: But his Uncle Farrell made mistakes too. He accepted a million bucks to retrieve the sword his employer "stole." And he asked Alfred for help. / Buddy: Then the recovery went wrong...[sic] / Dewey: ...and Alfred ended up back in a foster home. And the sword turned out to be Excalibur, protected by a secret order of knights. And a covert government agency got involved. / Dewey: The fate of the world rests on Alfred Kropp's oversized shoulders. Buddy, I didn't think you'd like this book because Alfred Kropp is big and dumb. I thought you'd like it because he's a HERO! / [[Buddy walks away with the book and a big smile.]]
Monday, August 13, 2007 Dewey: I wouldn't use the word "repulsive." / Ned: The color scheme made my eyes bleed. / Mel: What are you talking about? / Ned: Your website. / Mel: Our website has stood the test of time! It gets dozens of hits every month! / Ned [[to Dewey]]: Can you at least stop the strobe effect? / Dewey [[reading from website]]: "Last updated: August 1995."
Tuesday, August 14, 2007 [[Mel walks up to Dewey who is working on the computer.]] / Mel: Dewey. Good news! I found our new website designer! / Dewey: How much is it going to cost us? / [[Mel disappears.]] / [[Mel comes back.]] / Mel: Dewey. Good news! You're our new website designer! / [[Dewey frowns.]]
Wednesday, August 15, 2007 Mel: I want our new website to list all our events and activities, with librarian blogs, social networking, and message boards, crafted in concert with our community's needs and standards. / Dewey: Budget? / Mel: None. / Dewey: Resources? / Mel: None. / Dewey: Unreasonable timeline? / Mel: Tomorrow. / Dewey: I'm on it. / Mel: I want an extra helping of Web 2.0!
Thursday, August 16, 2007 [[Mel and Dewey are looking at a computer screen.]] / Mel: This website is amazing! / Dewey: I know. / Mel: It has everything I asked for! / Dewey: I know. / Mel: How long did it take you to do this? / Dewey: No time at all. This is Empire County's website. / Mel: Oh. How long will it take you to do this? / Dewey: You don't want to know.
Friday, August 17, 2007 [[Tamara approaches Dewey while he is working on the computer]] / Tamara: Can I request a feature for our new website? / Dewey: Less is more. / Tamara: Excuse me? / Dewey: Simplicity is king. I'm adding by subtracting. So tell me what feature you want me to get rid of / Tamara: Oh. Uh, the personal ads. / Dewey: Yeah, those were always kind of creepy.
Saturday, August 18, 2007 [[Ned and Dewey are at a computer terminal]] / Ned: I heard YOU'RE responsible for the new library website. / Dewey: Yes. Yes I am. / Ned: It's blank except for a link to the catalogue and one notice. / Dewey: Yes. Yes it is. / Ned: It's useless! / Dewey: Not true. It's of small but measurable use. / Dewey: And it no longer burns your retina, so you know your voice was heard.

Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60
61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80
81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100
101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120
121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140
141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160
161 162 163 164 165 >>