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| Achewood - February 9, 2007 | [[Teodor is standing listening to music.]]
/ Teodor: Ahhhh... nothing like Brubeck to remind you that not everyone on earth is a huge, steaming pile of shit...
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02092007 |
| Achewood - February 9, 2007 | [[Teodor is standing listening to music.]]
/ Teodor: Ahhhh....nothing like Brubeck to remind you that not everyone on earth is a huge, steaming pile of shit...
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02092007 |
| Achewood - February 10, 2003 | {{PREVIEW: THE ACHEWOOD COOKBOOK}} / Perfect Oven Fries Every Time - Recipe by Ray / I know you've had some oven fries before and you're thinkin' "Man, oven fries are a joke!' / I know! I know! Usually they are! / I totally agree with you. / Somebody makes you some oven fries...they're all soft... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02102003 |
| Achewood - February 10, 2003 | {{PREVIEW: THE ACHEWOOD COOKBOOK}} / Perfect Oven Fries Every Time - Recipe by Ray / I know you've had some oven fries before and you're thinkin' "Man, oven fries are a joke!' / I know! I know! Usually they are! / I totally agree with you. / Somebody makes you some oven fries...they're all soft... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02102003 |
| Achewood - February 10, 2004 | [Roast Beef and Phillipe are standing there talking to eachother, Roast Beef giving Phillipe some bad news]
/ Roast Beef: Look Phillipe it just isn't going to work with Todd. / [Phillipe looks disappointed]
/ Phillipe: But I-- / [Roast Beef holds up his hands]
/ Roast Beef: Hey I know you really like... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02102004 |
| Achewood - February 10, 2004 | [Roast Beef and Phillipe are standing there talking to eachother, Roast Beef giving Phillipe some bad news]
/ Roast Beef: Look Phillipe it just isn't going to work with Todd. / [Phillipe looks disappointed]
/ Phillipe: But I-- / [Roast Beef holds up his hands]
/ Roast Beef: Hey I know you really like... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02102004 |
| Achewood - February 10, 2005 | Vlad: So, what are you doing for funs lately, Little Nephew?
/ Little Nephew: Man, I been in chat rooms, just RUINING nerds' lives. You ever try that?
/ Vlad: I haf only basic experience
/ Little Nephew: Dogg I am ruinous; I amaze the knees; The potty runs out of the body.
/ Vlad: Okay then! Let us be seeink... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02102005 |
| Achewood - February 10, 2005 | Vlad: So, what are you doing for funs lately, Little Nephew? / Little Nephew: Man, I been in chat rooms, just RUINING nerds' lives. You ever try that? / Vlad: I haf only basic experience. / Little Nephew: Dogg I am ruinous; I amaze the knees; the potty runs out of the body. / Vlad: Okay then! Let... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02102005 |
| Achewood - February 11, 2002 | Phillip: We buried french fry today, Ray.
/ Ray: I know. Come on over and have a drink. / Ray: You like Ketel One, right?
/ Phillip: We had to use a spatula. http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02112002 |
| Achewood - February 11, 2002 | Philippe: We buried french fry today, Ray.
/ Ray: I know. Come on over and have a drink. / Ray: You like Ketel One, right?
/ Philippe: We had to use a spatula. http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02112002 |
| Achewood - February 11, 2003 | [[Ray, Roast Beef, and Lyle sit at a table, in conversation]]
/ RAY: So is business this bad at all the Subways in town, Lyle? / LYLE: Pretty much, except for frickin' Pat's.
/ RAY: What's so special about his place? / LYLE: The guy plays all the angles! I started servin' booze to try and drum up business-- / LYLE:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02112003 |
| Achewood - February 11, 2004 | [[Ray is talking to Teodor on the phone. Teodor is playing golf at the time.]]
/ Ray: Hey Teodor! It's Ray! How you doin'? / Teodor: I'm a little busy. / Ray: Oh! I'm sorry to hear that! Listen-I just have a quick question for! / Teodor: Look Ray I just sprayed 409 onto the stove and the bubbles are... http://achewood.com/?date=02112004 |
| Achewood - February 11, 2004 | [[Ray, wearing a black jacket and holding a martini, talks on a cordless phone.]]
/ Ray: Hey Téodor! It's Ray! How you doin'? / [[Téodor is shown answering his phone. He is playing golf.]] / Téodor: I'm a little busy. / [[Ray.]]
/ Ray: Oh! I'm sorry to hear that!
/ Ray: Listen -- I just have a quick... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02112004 |
| Achewood - February 11, 2005 | [[It's dark. Roast Beef and Molly are seen from a short distance, walking on the sidewalk]]
/ Ray(out of view): Dang, is that Beef and Molly? / [[Exterior of a black car]]
/ Ray: What are they doin' way the heck out in Pat's neighborhood? / [[Interior of car. Téodor and Ray sit inside]]
/ Téodor: Maybe... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02112005 |
| Achewood - February 11, 2008 | Ray: Yo Cornelius! What's a good tea to like?
/ Cornelius: Well, that depends on what you're looking for. Are you new to tea? / Ray: Pretty much. I mean, I've had Snapple, and plus that stuff at Chinese joints, so maybe I'm, like, "intermediate." / Cornelius: The tea Americans are served at Chinese... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02112008 |
| Achewood § February 11, 2009 | [[THE SMUCKLES KITCHEN, 12:54 AM]] / Téodor: Hey, man! You feel like throwin' on a flick? / Ray: Oh...hey, T. You never call me anymore.
/ Téodor: Sorry, man. I was already in the neighborhood. / Ray: Really? How come? / Téodor: Because I was coming over. / Ray: Oh, I get it. Nice. Can't fault that.
/ Téodor:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02112009 |
| Achewood - February 12, 2002 | [[Teodor is circiling an entry in a phone book with a red pen. He is on the phone.]]
/ Phone: Hello! English-Speaking Pizza!
/ Teodor: Hi, I'd like to place an order. / Phone: Yes! Go ahead, sir! In English, of course!
/ Teodor: Listen, I've been duped by "English-speaking" pizza places before. Prove it. / [[The... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02122002 |
| Achewood - February 12, 2002 | [[Teodor is circling an entry in a phone book with a red pen. He is on the phone.]]
/ Phone: Hello! English-Speaking Pizza!
/ Teodor: Hi, I'd like to place an order. / Phone: Yes! Go ahead, sir! In English, of course!
/ Teodor: Listen, I've been duped by "English-speaking" pizza places before. Prove it. / [[The... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02122002 |
| Achewood - February 12, 2002 | [[Teodor is circling an entry in a phone book with a red pen. He is on the phone.]]
/ Phone: Hello! English-Speaking Pizza!
/ Teodor: Hi, I'd like to place an order. / Phone: Yes! Go ahead, sir! In English, of course!
/ Teodor: Listen, I've been duped by "English-speaking" pizza places before. Prove it. / [[The... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02122002 |
| Achewood - February 12, 2002 | [[Teodor is circiling an entry in a phone book with a red pen. He is on the phone.]]
/ English-Speaking Pizza: Hello! English-Speaking Pizza!
/ Teodor: Hi, I'd like to place an order. / English-Speaking Pizza: Yes! Go ahead, sir! In English, of course!
/ Teodor: Listen, I've been duped by "English-speaking"... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02122002 |
| Achewood - February 12, 2002 | [[Teodor is circiling an entry in a phone book with a red pen. He is on the phone.]]
/ Phone: Hello! English-Speaking Pizza!
/ Teodor: Hi, I'd like to place an order. / Phone: Yes! Go ahead, sir! In English, of course!
/ Teodor: Listen, I've been duped by "English-speaking" pizza places before. Prove it. / [[The... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02122002 |
| Achewood - February 12, 2004 | [[Ray is dialing a phone]]
/ [[MEANWHILE.]] / < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02122004 |
| Cornelius's Special Bowl | [[Lyle is squatting just above a bowl. Teodor looks angrily down on him. An empty bottle stands nearby.]]
/ Teodor: And...Jesus Christ! Is that Cornelius's special bowl?!
/ Lyle: Dunno. Found it inna sink with some dried noodles in it. / {{Frame caption: LATER THAT EVENING}}
/ [[Teodor is cooking. Cornelius... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02122007 |
| Cornelius's Special Bowl | [[Lyle is squatting just above a bowl. Teodor looks angrily down on him. An empty bottle stands nearby.]]
/ Teodor: And...Jesus Christ! Is that Cornelius's special bowl?!
/ Lyle: Dunno. Found it inna sink with some dried noodles in it. / {{Frame caption: LATER THAT EVENING}}
/ [[Teodor is cooking. Cornelius... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02122007 |
| Cornelius's Special Bowl | [[Lyle is squatting just above a bowl. Teodor looks angrily down on him. An empty bottle stands nearby.]]
/ Teodor: And...Jesus Christ! Is that Cornelius's special bowl?!
/ Lyle: Dunno. Found it inna sink with some dried noodles in it. / {{Frame caption: LATER THAT EVENING}}
/ [[Teodor is cooking. Cornelius... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02122007 |
| Achewood - February 12, 2008 | [[Sondra Smuckles Thought Organizer]]
/ [[Grace Jones]] http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02122008 |
| Achewood - February 13, 2002 | [[Teodor is standing next to a dining table where Phillipe is sitting with an empty plate in front of him. Teodore has a platter of pork chops in his hands]]
/ Teodor: Who wants pork chops?
/ Phillipe: Oh boy! / [[Phillipe is eating a pork chop. Teodor is out of the panel but audible]]
/ Phillipe: These... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02132002 |
| Achewood - February 13, 2002 | [[Teodor is standing next to a dining table where Phillipe is sitting with an empty plate in front of him. Teodore has a platter of pork chops in his hands]]
/ Teodor: Who wants pork chops?
/ Phillipe: Oh boy! / [[Phillipe is eating a pork chop. Teodor is out of the panel but audible]]
/ Phillipe: These... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02132002 |
| Achewood - February 13, 2002 | [[Teodor is standing next to a dining table where Phillipe is sitting with an empty plate in front of him. Teodore has a platter of pork chops in his hands]]
/ Teodor: Who wants pork chops?
/ Phillipe: Oh boy! / [[Phillipe is eating a pork chop. Teodor is out of the panel but audible]]
/ Phillipe: These... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02132002 |
| Achewood - February 13, 2003 | Vlad: Well would you look at that. Pat is havink web page for his Subway now.
/ Vlad: Oh for Please sake Pat. Do not design music into web page.
/ Vlad: Is so newbie.
/ Vlad: Well would you look at that! A messageboard just about his own restaurant! Such arrogance he has.
/ Vlad: Let us see if we cannot... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02132003 |
| Achewood - February 13, 2003 | [[Vlad is at home, on the computer.]]
/ Vlad: Well would you look at that. Pat is havink web page for his Subway now.
/ < |
| Achewood - February 13, 2004 | [[Ray and Teodor talking in person.]]
/ Ray: Okay, Teodor, here's another ten G for you guys' campaign. Let me know when you need more.
/ Teodor: Thanks, Ray. / Teodor: Whoah, are you learning guitar?
/ Ray: Huh? What did you say? / Ray: Oh, yeah, I thought it might be kinda fun.
/ Teodor: [Holding guitar]... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02132004 |
| Queueing for the Fight | [[Ray is sleeping in a motorbike's sidecar]]
/ http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02132006 |
| Queueing for the Fight | [[Ray is sleeping in a motorbike's sidecar]]
/ http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02132006 |
| Achewood - February 13, 2007 | [[Ray is at the computer. Teodor is standing behind him reading something.]]
/ Ray: I can't take this anymore, man. These dudes have got to stop it. This has just gone on TOO LONG.
/ Teodor: Yeah, but what can you do. / Ray: Gonna make 'em a new one. Go get my digital camera. You can still do Photoshop... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02132007 |
| Achewood § February 13, 2009 | [[Roast Beef is standing by a window, chewing contemplatively]] / < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02132009 |
| Achewood - February 14, 2002 | [[Pat, Roast Beef and Ray stand outside, smoking cigarettes]]
/ Pat: Man, am I glad the warm weather's back. / Ray: You're tellin' me! I must have got my Bone on six times yesterday. / [[Ray dances with one leg in the air]]
/ Pat: Hey, I don't want to hea...
/ Ray: I was like, BONE... BONE... BONE... / [[Ray... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02142002 |
| Achewood - February 14, 2003 | [[Pat and Vlad having a flame war on a Subway forum]]
/ Pat: [Typed] Daedalus_X, I would like to offer the following rebuttals to your RIDICULOUS claims.
/ 1. All our bread is bake fresh daily. Pretending that it isn't is just a waste of EVERYONE'S time.
/ 2. ALL toppings are free. Saying that you paid... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02142003 |
| Achewood - February 14, 2003 | [[Pat and Vlad having a flame war on a Subway forum]]
/ Pat: [Typed] Daedalus_X, I would like to offer the following rebuttals to your RIDICULOUS claims.
/ 1. All our bread is baked fresh daily. Pretending that it isn't is just a waste of EVERYONE'S time.
/ 2. ALL toppings are free. Saying that you paid... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02142003 |
| Achewood - February 14, 2005 | Ray: So, you guys hear the one about the priest who gave head to the mailman? / / Ray: Well, there's this priest, and he's pretty down on his luck. / Ray: He prays to god that his luck will improve, / Ray: ...and the very next day a horny mailman shows up. /
/ Ray: Well, one thing led to another.... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02142005 |
| Achewood - February 14, 2006 | [[Thousands of eager fighters stand at the gate of the field where the Great Outdoor Fight is about to commence]] / < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02142006 |
| Achewood - February 14, 2008 | T?odor: So, what did you get Molly for Valentine's Day?
/ [[Roast Beef is startled.]] / Roast Beef: Oh uh we just uh we gonna go do what she likes you know ! Plus they got desserts at just awful lots of places these days ! / Roast Beef: [[ Beef is visibly panicked ]] I mean you can't walk ten feet... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02142008 |
| Achewood - February 14, 2008 | T?odor: So, what did you get Molly for Valentine's Day?
/ [[Roast Beef is startled.]] / Roast Beef: Oh uh we just uh we gonna go do what she likes you know ! Plus they got desserts at just awful lots of places these days ! / Roast Beef: [[ Beef is visibly panicked ]] I mean you can't walk ten feet... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02142008 |
| Achewood - February 15, 2002 | [[A shot of two bottles of Alcohol, presumably Jack Daniels and Bombay Sapphire Gin are shown]]
/ Text: ACHEWOOD
/ Text: EVERY WEEKDAY BRINGS CHEER, / Text: NOSTALGIA,
/ Téodor: So, Mr. Squirrel, how is this year's acorn crop?
/ Todd: It's frikkin' AWESOME! / Text: AND TRAGEDY
/ [[Philippe is wearing some... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02152002 |
| Achewood - February 15, 2002 | [[A shot of two bottles of Alcohol, presumably Jack Daniels and Bombay Sapphire Gin are shown]]
/ Text: ACHEWOOD
/ Text: EVERY WEEKDAY BRINGS CHEER, / Text: NOSTALGIA,
/ Téodor: So, Mr. Squirrel, how is this year's acorn crop?
/ Todd: It's frikkin' AWESOME! / Text: AND TRAGEDY
/ [[Philippe is wearing some... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02152002 |
| Achewood - February 15, 2006 | Ray: The hell look at all that mayhem. Damn sloppy fightin' if you ask me. / Roast Beef: Historically nearly fifty percent of the Fight's population takes itself out in the first three hours
/ Roast Beef: Either immediately or through slow-acting injuries / Roast Beef: Anyhow gentlemen our first order... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02152006 |
| Achewood - February 15, 2007 | [[Ray is sitting in front of the computer.]] / Ray: Daaamn, there's no Wikipedia entry for "Ray's urine"! < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02152007 |
| Achewood - February 16, 2005 | [[Téodor, Roast Beef (not shown), and Molly are riding with Ray in his Escalade. Téodor and Molly look irritated. Ray is not watching the road.]]
/ Ray: You know, I used to know a guy who got AIDS once. It was a pretty rough scene. / [[The car slams into a telephone pole.]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02162005 |
| Achewood - February 16, 2005 | Ray: You know, I used to know a guy who AIDS once.
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02162005 |
| Beating Ron Sipes | [[Sipes is screaming, with his fists bared]]
/ Sipes: COME HERE! I'M GONNA TEAR OFF YOUR LEGS AND PISS UP THE STUMPS! / Ray: Man, that's crazy talk! A leg stump ain't got holes where your urine can go, Ron!
/ Sheesh, the imagination on this kid! / [[Sipes starts running towards Ray]]
/ Sipes: YAAAAAAAAH! / [[Sipes... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02162006 |
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