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| Achewood - November 11, 2002 | Philippe: Phew! I really thought that flower was pregnant! / Philippe: I mean, it sorta makes sense... all the pollen and stuff, and that birds and bees story...
/ Ultra Peanut: Hee hee! / Philippe: Surely you can see how a guy could get confused!
/ Ultra Peanut: You funny FeeReep! You a real Super-size... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11112002 |
| Achewood - November 11, 2002 | Philippe: Phew! I really thought that flower was pregnant! / Philippe: I mean, it sorta makes sense... all the pollen and stuff, and that birds and bees story...
/ Ultra Peanut: Hee hee! / Philippe: Surely you can see how a guy could get confused!
/ Ultra Peanut: You funny FeeReep! You a real Super-size... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11112002 |
| Achewood - November 11, 2002 | Philippe: Phew! I really thought that flower was pregnant! / Philippe: I mean, it sorta makes sense... all the pollen and stuff, and that birds and bees story...
/ Ultra Peanut: Hee hee! / Philippe: Surely you can see how a guy could get confused!
/ Ultra Peanut: You funny FeeReep! You a real Super-size... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11112002 |
| Achewood - November 11, 2002 | [[Philippe and Ultra Peanut alone together]]
/ Philippe: Phew!
/ Philippe: I really thought that flower was pregnant! / Philippe: I mean, it sorta makes sense... all the pollen and stuff, and that birds and bees story...
/ Ultra Peanut: Hee hee! / Philippe: Surely you can see how a guy could get confused!
/ Ultra... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11112002 |
| Achewood - November 11, 2003 | Road sign: NOW ENTERING THREADVILLE
/ POP 2053 ELEV 104 / Nice Pete: Oh we all gonna answer when the big bell rings / Nice Pete: We all got to answer that bell / Nice Pete: That big bell gonna come ringin' / Nice Pete: And send all the children to Hell http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11112003 |
| Nice Pete's Lullaby | Road sign: NOW ENTERING THREADVILLE
/ POP 2053 ELEV 104 / Nice Pete: Oh we all gonna answer when the big bell rings / Nice Pete: We all got to answer that bell / Nice Pete: That big bell gonna come ringin' / Nice Pete: And send all the children to Hell / {{Alt text: A family standard in the Nice... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11112003 |
| Achewood - November 11, 2004 | [[Teodor at computer]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11112004 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11112008">http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11112008 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| The Humans Show | [[Cardboard TV]]
/ Philippe: Ha ha! What show is this?
/ Mr. Bear: Today we're acting like humans! Lie Bot? / Lie Bot: Hey, look at me! I'm a human! Man, this Jeff Beck album really cooks!
/ Philippe: Ha ha! / Philippe: Hi Lyle!
/ Lyle: I'm a human! I invented a voice mail system where "7" means "delete"! / {{seven,... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11122001 |
| The Humans Show | [[Cardboard TV]]
/ Philippe: Ha ha! What show is this?
/ Mr. Bear: Today we're acting like humans! Lie Bot? / Lie Bot: Hey, look at me! I'm a human! Man, this Jeff Beck album really cooks!
/ Philippe: Ha ha! / Philippe: Hi Lyle!
/ Lyle: I'm a human! I invented a voice mail system where "7" means "delete"! / {{seven,... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11122001 |
| Achewood - November 12, 2001 | [[Cornelius is inside a cardboard TV set, with Philippe watching]]
/ Philippe: Ha ha! What show is this?
/ Cornelius: Today we're acting like humans! Lie Bot? / [[Lie Bot takes Cornelius's place, wearing a tie]]
/ Lie Bot: Hey, look at me! I'm a human! Man, this Jeff Beck album really cooks!
/ Philippe:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11122001 |
| Todd's Gift of Hi-Five | Todd: Special delivery for Ray Smuckles! / Ray: What's all this, Todd?
/ Todd: That's fifty grams of blow is what it is, grandpa! / Ray: Man, you dumbass squirrels ain't nothin' but trouble! I don't want any of this! / Ray: I start doing coke, next thing you know it's a bandana and a needle full of... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11122002 |
| Todd's Gift of Hi-Five | [[Ray at the piano]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11122002 |
| Achewood - November 12, 2003 | click / zzzzz http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11122003 |
| Achewood - November 12, 2003 | [[ A shack at night in the rain, boards on the windows ]]
/ click
/ [[ the windows glow with light ]]
/ [[Nice Pete and Philippe enter ]]
/ [[ An old man nods at his cash register ]]
/ zzzzz http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11122003 |
| Achewood - November 12, 2003 | [[Super-Secret Ice Cream Shop in the dark and rain.]] / [[The lights come on in the boarded-up windows.]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11122003 |
| Achewood - November 12, 2004 | Pat: Thank you for coming over, Roast Beef. I made us some bulgur salad as a reward for when we get done reviewing my tax return.
/ Beef: Say hi Weldon
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11122004 |
| Achewood - November 12, 2007 | [[A computer screen shows an eBay page. At the top reads "You are signed in as OrganizedMan" Below reads, "item #90824357032: CHEESE MADE FROM THE BREAST MILK OF RAY SMUCKLES' MOM. We have two lots of cheese made from the breast milk of ray smuckles' mom. milk was collected in early 70s from a pumping... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11122007 |
| Achewood - November 12, 2007 | [[A computer screen shows an eBay page. At the top reads "You are signed in as OrganizedMan" Below reads, "item #90824357032: CHEESE MADE FROM THE BREAST MILK OF RAY SMUCKLES' MOM. We have two lots of cheese made from the breast milk of ray smuckles' mom. milk was collected in early 70s from a pumping... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11122007 |
| He is strange in his sleep | [[Mr. Bear sleeping]]
/ Téodor: Watch this. He says crazy things if you mess with him.
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11132001 |
| Achewood - November 13, 2001 | [[Cornelius is sleeping. Téodor and Philippe are standing next to the bed]]
/ Cornelius: < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11132001 |
| Achewood - November 13, 2003 | [[ The old man snores at his cash register ]]
/ << Zzzzzz >> / [[ The old man slaps at his chest ]]
/ << smack smack >> / [[ He opens his eyes and looks down blearily]]
/ << snif >> / [[ Philippe stands shivering in his bumblebee suit ]] / [[ The glasses sit on the shelf, promises of Gelato long in... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11132003 |
| Achewood - November 13, 2003 | [[ The old man snores at his cash register ]]
/ << Zzzzzz >> / [[ The old man wakes up, smacking his lips. ]]
/ << smack smack >> / [[ He opens his eyes and looks down blearily]]
/ << snif >> / [[ Philippe stands shivering in his bumblebee suit ]] / [[ The glasses sit on the shelf, promises of Gelato... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11132003 |
| When geniuses and trucking collide. | [[Half the panel is a picture of the book "A Hilarious Comedy" by Nice Pete, the other half shows part of Chapter 1. Halfway through the first page, there is an illustration of two men with moustaches]]
/ A Hilarious Comedy: The truck driver felt bad about what he was doing, but at the same time was glad... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11132006 |
| When geniuses and trucking collide. | [[Half the panel is a picture of the book "A Hilarious Comedy" by Peter H. Cropes (aka Nice Pete), the other half shows part of Chapter 1. Halfway through the first page, there is an illustration of two men with moustaches]]
/ A Hilarious Comedy: The truck driver felt bad about what he was doing, but... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11132006 |
| Achewood - November 13, 2007 - 'He Meets Him' | [[Ray is sitting inside a 10 gallon cooler with one fist raised, "2008" is painted on the front of the cooler. The cooler also contains some soda bottles to his left.]] / [[Cornelius is holding a letter]]
/ Cornelius: Ray? Curious letter for you. What...what am I interrupting?
/ Ray: Oh, just workin'... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11132007 |
| Achewood - November 13, 2007 - 'He Meets Him' | [[Ray is sitting inside a 10 gallon cooler with one fist raised, "2008" is painted on the front of the cooler. The cooler also contains some soda bottles to his left.]] / [[Cornelius is holding a letter]]
/ Cornelius: Ray? Curious letter for you. What...what am I interrupting?
/ Ray: Oh, just workin'... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11132007 |
| Todd the Squirrel | [[At windowsill]]
/ Téodor: So, Todd, how is this year's acorn crop?
/ Todd: It's frikkin' AWESOME! / Todd: I found like twelve acorns, and also I found an-an-an old dead body!
/ Téodor: Really? / Todd: It-it-it was my cousin Frankie! Cousin Frankie!
/ Téodor: Oh! A dead squirrel body. I thought you... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11142001 |
| Achewood - November 14, 2001 | [[At windowsill]]
/ Téodor: So, Todd, how is this year's acorn crop?
/ Todd: It's frikkin' AWESOME! / Todd: I found like twelve acorns, and also I found an-an-an old dead body!
/ Téodor: Really? / Todd: It-it-it was my cousin Frankie! Cousin Frankie!
/ Téodor: Oh! A dead squirrel body. I thought you... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11142001 |
| Achewood - November 14, 2002 | [[Ray enters from left wearing robe with musical notes on it, open in front. Roast Beef seated, wearing short-sleeved, button-front shirt with thin, black tie.]]
/ Ray: Hey hey hey, Roast Beef! How's my music video script comin'? / Roast Beef: Uh pretty slow. I ain't too good at this Ray. / [[Ray... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11142002 |
| Achewood - November 14, 2003 | [[It is night. Rain falls on a small cabin]]
/ [[Philippe, clad in a bee costume, opens the door and runs outside]]
/ [[Nice Pete stands in the doorway]]
/ [[Philippe is behind the wheel of Nice Pete's van]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11142003 |
| Achewood - November 14, 2003 | [[It is night. Rain falls on a small cabin]]
/ [[Philippe, clad in a bee costume, opens the door and runs outside]]
/ [[Nice Pete stands in the doorway]]
/ [[Philippe is behind the wheel of Nice Pete's van]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11142003 |
| Achewood - November 14, 2003 | [[The Super-Secret Ice Cream Shop, a small cabin with lights on in the boarded-up windows, stands in the dark and rain.]] / [[Philippe, clad in a bee costume, slams the door open and runs outside.]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11142003 |
| Achewood - November 14, 2005 | Showbiz: Man, I got the skitters somethin' awful! What was that cheese called again? / Roast Beef: You might be the only guy on earth ever spread brie on a hot dog bun / Showbiz: I thought that shit was just old mayo! / Roast Beef: That don't exactly explain why you tried to eat it / Showbiz: I'm... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11142005 |
| Jack and Diane Party | [[Roast Beef and Molly are dressed like Rednecks. Roast Beef is on the phone]]
/ Roast Beef: Dogg check it out Molly and me are having a Jack and Diane party / [[There are two white gloves in a black panel]] / [[The two white gloves came together in a clap]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11142006 |
| Jack and Diane Party | [[Roast Beef wears a black mullet wig, a gas station workshirt with the sleeves torn off and wristbands. Molly has dyed her hair blonde and wears a tank top through which her nipples are visible. Molly has a drink and Roast Beef is on the phone]]
/ Roast Beef: Dogg check it out Molly and me are having... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11142006 |
| Guy Talk | DORNHEIM: You can't be serious. You drive a Cadillac Escalade?
/ RAY: Made in America, bomb-shiggedy! / DORNHEIM: Actually, your Escalade was assembled at the GM plant in Mexico, from God knows what.
/ DORNHEIM: GM isn't going to do anything to disabuse you of your "all-American" assumptions, of course. / DORNHEIM:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11142007 |
| International relations primer | Philippe: Lie bot, do other people really want to kill Americans?
/ Lie Bot: Oh hell yes!
/ Philippe: How come? / Lie Bot: Because we're so superior! We've got big vocabularies and we get fresh with the fine women! / Philippe: I don't have a big vocabulary.
/ Lie Bot: But you still get fresh with the... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11152001 |
| Achewood - November 15, 2001 | Philippe: Lie Bot, do other people really want to kill Americans?
/ Lie Bot: Oh hell yes!
/ Philippe: How come? / Lie Bot: Because we're so superior! We've got big vocabularies and we get fresh with the fine women! / Philippe: I don't have a big vocabulary.
/ Lie Bot: But you still get fresh with the... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11152001 |
| Achewood - November 15, 2002 | [[Ray is wearing a kimono and holding Roast Beef's list of music video ideas.]]
/ Ray: Beef, you got the wrong idea about music videos! / Ray: Now why don't you just try again! I know you can do better!
/ Roast Beef: Shucks man I don't know about this / Ray: Just make it fun to watch! That's all people... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11152002 |
| Achewood - November 15, 2002 | [[Ray is wearing a robe decorated with tied quarter notes.]]
/ Ray: Beef, you got the wrong idea about music videos. / [[Ray talks to Roast Beef.]]
/ Ray: Now why don't you just try again! I know you can do better!
/ Roast Beef: Shucks man I don't know about this / [[Ray, circling his arms to rally Roast... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11152002 |
| Achewood - November 15, 2002 | [[Ray is wearing a robe with music symbols and holding Roast Beef's list of music video ideas.]]
/ Ray: Beef, you got the wrong idea about music videos! / Ray: Now why don't you just try again! I know you can do better!
/ Roast Beef: Shucks man I don't know about this / Ray: Just make it fun to watch!... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11152002 |
| Achewood - November 15, 2004 | [[Pat on the phone]]
/ Pat: Ray! This is Pat! Listen to me! / [[Ray on the phone in front of the toilet]]
/ Ray: JUFF A FECOND 'UDE
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11152004 |
| Rockford Fosgate II | [[Roast Beef is working at the computer. He turns his head, surprised, when Ray suddenly enters with an envelope.]]
/ Ray: Hey, Beef! Letter came for Showbiz! What's goin' on? / [[Roast Beef reaches for the letter.]]
/ Roast Beef: Oh uh he is travelling for a while and must have had his mail forwarded... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11152005 |
| Roast Beef's Odor | < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11152006 |
| Roast Beef's Odor | < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11152006 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11152008">http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11152008 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Téodor has met a girl! | [[On couch]]
/ Lyle: I heard you met some broad on the Internet!
/ Téodor: Yeah. / Lyle: ...so?
/ Téodor: So, what?
/ Lyle: So, do you like her? / < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11162001 |
| Téodor has met a girl! | [[Téodor and Lyle are sitting next to one another on the couch]]
/ Lyle: I heard you met some broad on the Internet!
/ Téodor: Yeah. / Lyle: ...so?
/ Téodor: So, what?
/ Lyle: So, do you like her? / [[Téodor stares off into the distance and sighs]] / Téodor: I think about her in my private moments. / {{sofa,... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11162001 |
| Téodor has met a girl! | [[On couch]]
/ Lyle: I heard you met some broad on the Internet!
/ Téodor: [[looks away.]] Yeah. / Lyle: ...so?
/ Téodor: So, what?
/ Lyle: So, do you like her? / Teodor: < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11162001 |
| Achewood - November 16, 2001 | [[Téodor and Lyle are sitting on the couch]]
/ Lyle: I heard you met some broad on the Internet!
/ Téodor: Yeah. / Lyle: ...so?
/ Téodor: So, what?
/ Lyle: So, do you like her? / Téodor: < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11162001 |
| Scan of first character study page | [[A scan of an early page of drawings by Onstad, including various pictures of Teodor (referred to as Theodore at one point), Cornelius, Lyle, Philippe (drawn in older form, wearing various pairs of pants), and some kind of nonexistent bear character named E-BEAR; he may be an antecedent of Ray, as he... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11162004 |
| Showbiz and the Notice of Collections II | [[Roast Beef is holding an envelope and looks pissed.]]
/ Roast Beef: Uh Showbiz is there something you want to tell me / [[Showbiz points his finger at Roast Beef like a gun.]]
/ Showbiz: Yeah! It'd be super hot to do a chick in a dressing room!
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11162005 |
| Achewood - November 17, 2003 | [[A small shoe kicks at the keys to a van]]< http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11172003 |
| Achewood - November 17, 2004 | [[Roast Beef holding a pan of lamb]]
/ Beef: Okay Weldon now comes the part where we brown the lamb for the moussaka! Ain't that fun boy! Ain't that fun huh! / Gramma K: Roast Beef! Get that dog out of here before it starts biting!
/ Beef: Weldon doesn't bite Gramma K / Gramma K: Don't you talk back!... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11172004 |
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