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| Achewood - October 17, 2003 | [[Ray brings what appears to be a roast chicken to the dining room table, where Little Nephew is seated]]
/ Ray: Little Nephew! I made us up some Chicken a la King! New recipe!
/ Little Nephew: Oh, uh, I'm gettin' kind of allergic to chicken lately. Do we got any pizza rolls, Uncle Ray? / [[Header: LATER... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10172003 |
| Achewood - October 17, 2003 | [[Ray brings what appears to be a roast chicken to the dining room table, where Little Nephew is seated]]
/ Ray: Little Nephew! I made us up some Chicken a la King! New recipe!
/ Little Nephew: Oh, uh, I'm gettin' kind of allergic to chicken lately. Do we got any pizza rolls, Uncle Ray? / [[Header: LATER... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10172003 |
| Achewood - October 17, 2005 | Ray: Daaamn, my MENSA renewal is here! / [[ The letter ]]
/ Hello, Ray Smuckles!
/ It's time to renew your membership in MENSA, the international society of geniuses!
/ To renew, simply answer the following riddle, mail in your check, and prepare for another *incredible* year as *yourself*!
/ Sincerely, / [[The... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10172005 |
| Achewood - October 17, 2006 | Lonis F. Edison: You've caught me at just the right time, Smuckles. My lingering distaste for commercialism as a business model has been abating of late. / Lonis F. Edison: Soon the magazine advertisments of gap-toothed tots in backwards baseball caps will feature OUR name at bottom right!
/ Ray: Oh... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10172006 |
| Achewood - October 17, 2006 | Lonis F. Edison: You've caught me at just the right time, Smuckles. My lingering distaste for commercialism as a business model has been abating of late. / Lonis F. Edison: Soon the magazine advertisments of gap-toothed tots in backwards baseball caps will feature OUR name at bottom right!
/ Ray: Oh... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10172006 |
| Achewood - October 17, 2007 | [[Todd is sitting at a desk on the set of his television show. He is gesturing a cigarette stage left. There is a classic broadcasting microphone on the desk.]]
/ Todd: Good job, T! Great frikkin' impressions! / Todd: Now, it's time to take on the grand daddy of 'em all!
/ Todd: Ol' Blue Eyes, the... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10172007 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10172008">http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10172008 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Achewood - Guest-starring Lyle - October 18, 2001 | [[Philippe watches "TV" - a cardboard box with Mr. Bear inside]]
/ Mr. Bear: Welcome to the Mr. Bear Show!
/ Philippe: Ha ha! Hi Mr. Bear! / Philippe: Who's on your show today?
/ Mr. Bear: Lyle! / [[Lyle appears in place of Mr. Bear]]
/ Lyle: Listen, I need to borrow some money. http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10182001 |
| Achewood - Guest-starring Lyle - October 18, 2001 | [[Philippe watches "TV" - a cardboard box with Mr. Bear inside]]
/ Mr. Bear: Welcome to the Mr. Bear Show!
/ Philippe: Ha ha! Hi Mr. Bear! / Philippe: Who's on your show today?
/ Mr. Bear: Lyle! / [[Lyle appears in place of Mr. Bear, his arm outside of the frame of the "TV"]]
/ Lyle: Listen, I need to... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10182001 |
| Achewood - October 18, 2001 | [[Philippe watches "TV" - a cardboard box with Cornelius inside]]
/ Cornelius: Welcome to the Mr. Bear Show!
/ Philippe: Ha ha! Hi Mr. Bear! / Philippe: Who's on your show today?
/ Mr. Bear: Lyle! / [[Lyle appears in place of Cornelius]]
/ Lyle: Listen, I need to borrow some money. http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10182001 |
| Achewood - October 18, 2002 | [[Ray is wearing a sombrero and talking to Lyle over a bar.]]
/ Ray: What it is, Lyle! You into some Tequila? I also got some tasty sangria that Pat brought over!
/ Lyle: Sangria? / Ray: You know, when somebody puts fruits and stuff in red wine! It's a mexican thing. It represents the blood of Christ... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10182002 |
| Achewood - That's how the Internet works - October 19, 2001 | [[Philippe is seated at the computer, Téodor stands at his elbow]]
/ Téodor: Look, you just start clicking around. That's how the internet works.
/ Philippe: Like this?
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10192001 |
| Achewood - October 19, 2001 | [[Philippe is seated at the computer, Téodor stands at his elbow]]
/ Téodor: Look, you just start clicking around. That's how the internet works.
/ Philippe: Like this?
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10192001 |
| Achewood - October 19, 2004 | [[Teodor opening a door]]
/ Teodor: Hey Cornelius! You back yet? I need to look through your cookbooks for something! Hello? HelloHello? / [[Teodor looking at a bookshelf]]
/ Teodor (thinking): Huh, a little section of cookbooks by celebrity wives... / THE LINDA MCCARTNEY COOKBOOK
/ Cooking for Guests... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10192004 |
| Achewood - October 19, 2004 | [[Teodor opening a door]]
/ Teodor: Hey Cornelius! You back yet? I need to look through your cookbooks for something! Hello? HelloHello? / [[Teodor looking at a bookshelf]]
/ Teodor (thinking): Huh, a little section of cookbooks by celebrity wives... / THE LINDA MCCARTNEY COOKBOOK
/ Cooking for Guests... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10192004 |
| Achewood - October 19, 2005 | [[Lie Bot is walking towards a doorway through which is heard shouting]]
/ Lie Bot: Yo yo yo! Why am I hearin' so much fussin' comin' from in there?
/ Téodor: COME ON, PHILIPPE!
/ Philippe: NO! / [[Lie Bot is standing next to Téodor, who is admonishing a seated Phillippe at the dinner table]]
/ Téodor:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10192005 |
| Achewood - October 19, 2005 | [[Lie Bot is walking towards a doorway through which is heard shouting]]
/ Lie Bot: Yo yo yo! Why am I hearin' so much fussin' comin' from in there?
/ Téodor: COME ON, PHILIPPE!
/ Philippe: NO! / [[Lie Bot is standing next to Téodor, who is admonishing a seated Phillippe at the dinner table]]
/ Téodor:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10192005 |
| Achewood - October 19, 2005 | [[Lie Bot is walking towards a doorway through which is heard shouting]]
/ Lie Bot: Yo yo yo! Why am I hearin' so much fussin' comin' from in there?
/ Téodor: COME ON, PHILIPPE!
/ Philippe: NO! / [[Lie Bot is standing next to Téodor, who is admonishing a seated Phillippe at the dinner table]]
/ Téodor:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10192005 |
| Achewood - October 19, 2005 | [[Lie Bot is walking towards a doorway through which is heard shouting]]
/ Lie Bot: Yo yo yo! Why am I hearin' so much fussin' comin' from in there?
/ Téodor: COME ON, PHILIPPE!
/ Philippe: NO! / [[Lie Bot is standing next to Téodor, who is admonishing a seated Phillippe at the dinner table]]
/ Téodor:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10192005 |
| Achewood - October 19, 2006 | Ray: Wait, hold on. He knows for sure the exact day and time he's gonna die? / Lonis Edison: I am certain he has astoundingly vivid premonitions of the date, time, quality of light, and prevailing wind. Everything save the commemorative plastic cup and game piece. / Ray: [[thinking]] Daaamn. / [[Bensington... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10192006 |
| Achewood - October 19, 2007 | [[View of Prime Time Records' office door.]]
/ Ray, not shown: Téodor! Nice work with Todd's head exploding!
/ Ray, not shown: Viacom's been bustin' down my door tryin' to buy the rights to that footage, dude. / [[Ray is at his desk, on a cordless phone. There is a round, flat box on the table, and... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10192007 |
| Achewood - October 20, 2003 | [[Ray and Little Nepher at Ray's table]]
/ Ray: Alright, well, if you really are allergic to chicken we're gonna have to go see the doctor.
/ Little Nephew: What?! No we don't! / Ray: We gotta get you that allergy bracelet, and have them pump your butt all full with vaccine shots!
/ Little Nephew: They... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10202003 |
| Achewood - October 20, 2003 | [[Ray and Little Nephew at Ray's table]]
/ Ray: Alright, well, if you really are allergic to chicken we're gonna have to go see the doctor.
/ Little Nephew: What?! No we don't! / Ray: We gotta get you that allergy bracelet, and have them pump your butt all full with vaccine shots!
/ Little Nephew: They... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10202003 |
| Beef/Molly cold feet | [[Entrance to vehicular tunnel.]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10202004 |
| Achewood - October 20, 2005 | Ray: Well, what do you think? / Beef: How come you would chose a harlequin as your halloween costume Ray / Ray: It's a good costume, man! It symbolizes a clown! / Beef: But since you have the choice why not be like Captain Morgan or Charlie Watts you know...Both guys are seen as hotter than a clown / Ray:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10202005 |
| Achewood - October 20, 2006 | The Philippe Times
/ Vol 8 No. 5 / Back Page: When You Take a Shower, You Get Drenched! / Friday Facts!
/ by Philippe, editor-in-chief! / DID YOU KNOW... / [[Picture of Philippe, in light gray]]
/ This is what I would look like in black-and-white / *CARAMEL* isn't really "caramel" at all! It's sugar... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10202006 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10202008">http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10202008 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Achewood - October 21, 2002 | [[The title of Jeopardy, the game show, is displayed]] / Alex Trebek: I am: THE FERMULE
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10212002 |
| Achewood - October 21, 2002 | [[The 'Jeopardy' logo on a black background]] / [[Alex Trebek reads a question from a sheet of paper he holds]]
/ Alex: I am: THE FERMULE.
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10212002 |
| Achewood - October 21, 2002 | [[Title card: JEOPARDY!]] / Alex Trebek: I am: THE FERMULE.
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10212002 |
| Achewood - October 21, 2003 | [[Ray and Beef in two easy chairs]]
/ Ray: So! You think you ever gonna want kids, Beef?
/ Roast Beef: Is this like one of those emotional conversations / Ray: Seriously! You ever picture a little one on your knee, same face as you?
/ Roast Beef: I see you been readin' my nightmare journal / Roast... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10212003 |
| Achewood - October 21, 2004 | [[Roast Beef approaches the Crown Hat Bookseller magazine rack]] / Roast Beef: Dang man how long even has it been since I seen a Playboy
/ Maybe the Advisor has some advice about moving in with girlfriends / Roast Beef: Lessee here what's he got to say this time
/ Hm wow a resource for buying discontinued... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10212004 |
| Achewood - October 21, 2005 | [[Ray and Teodor stand over an open crate of bottles]]
/ Teodor: What's in the crate, Ray? / Ray: This is my new Whiskey a la Mood sampler!
/ Teodor: What's that? / Ray: Twelve bottles of whiskey, each one guaranteed to make you feel a different way! / [[Ray pulls a bottle up a few inches]]
/ Ray: This... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10212005 |
| Achewood § October 21, 2009 | [[Computer printout on spindled paper]]
/ You are peeling out in the illegal van. It goes so fast that you leave North Korea. / Suddenly, someone is in the passenger seat...sagely, benevolently observing. / C:\> who tha frick's that?! / "It's me, Kim Jong-il. You make bold choice and find secret doorway... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10212009 |
| Achewood - Liquor Cabinet Taste Test - October 22, 2001 | [[Téodor stands next to a bottle, Mr. Bear tastes from a glass]]
/ Téodor: Alright, this one's called "Vodka." What do you think of it?
/ Mr. Bear: It's nice, but it's kind of strong.
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10222001 |
| Achewood - October 22, 2001 | [[Téodor stands next to a bottle, Cornelius tastes from a glass]]
/ Téodor: Alright, this one's called "Vodka." What do you think of it?
/ Cornelius: It's nice, but it's kind of strong.
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10222001 |
| Achewood - October 22, 2002 | [KNOCK KNOCK] / Roast Beef: Aw cool man this must be my new T-shirt that I ordered / Roast Beef: awesome
/ [T-shirt: IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO HAVE A GOOD DAY] / Roast beef: JESUS...why do I always buy these things... / Roast Beef: I ain't never gonna wear none of these
/ [T-shirt: WHAT SUCKS IS LIFE]
/ [T-shirt:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10222002 |
| Achewood - October 22, 2003 | [[Teodor sits at the computer. Nice Pete speaks from outside the panel.]]
/ Nice Pete: Teodor / [[Nice Pete appears in the panel.]]
/ Nice Pete: Teodor
/ Teodor: Oh! Uh ... hi Nice Pete! / Nice Pete: Listen
/ Nice Pete: I need to admit something to you
/ [[The next line is inside a thought bubble.]]
/ Teodor:... http://achewood.com/?date=10222003 |
| Achewood - October 22, 2003 | [[Teodor, at computer]]
/ Nice Pete [Off Screen]: Teodor / Nice Pete: Teodor
/ Teodor: Oh! Uh...hi nice Pete! / Nice Pete: Listen I need to admit something to you
/ Teodor [Thinking]: Oh my god! He killed pat! / Nice Pete: I know this is going to sound kind of...weird / [[Zoom in on Teodors face, sweating]]
/ Teodor... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10222003 |
| Achewood - October 22, 2003 | [[Teodor, at computer]]
/ Nice Pete [Off Screen]: Teodor / Nice Pete: Teodor
/ Teodor: Oh! Uh...hi nice Pete! / Nice Pete: Listen I need to admit something to you
/ Teodor [Thinking]: Oh my god! He killed pat! / Nice Pete: I know this is going to sound kind of...weird / [[Zoom in on Teodors face, sweating]]
/ Teodor... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10222003 |
| Achewood - October 22, 2004 | [[[[Ray holding a bag, standing outside of the men's room]]
/ Ray: Hey Beef! I got all the magazines I wanted! You ready to take off and get some Hunan Palace? / [[Ray knocking on the door]]
/ Ray: You want to go to Hunan Palace and get Dong Ting Triple Delight? Yeah, man, I said it! Two knuckleheads,... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10222004 |
| Achewood - A Curious Therapy - October 23, 2001 | [[Mr. Bear and Téodor stand outside the bathroom door. Philippe can be glimpsed within]]
/ Mr. Bear: Philippe's been sticking his arm into the toilet for ten minutes.
/ Téodor: That's his therapy for something that happened to him as a pup.
/ Mr. Bear: Oh.
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10232001 |
| Achewood - October 23, 2001 | [[Cornelius and Téodor stand outside the bathroom door. Philippe can be glimpsed within]]
/ Cornelius: Philippe's been sticking his arm into the toilet for ten minutes.
/ Téodor: That's his therapy for something that happened to him as a pup.
/ Cornelius: Oh.
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10232001 |
| Achewood - October 23, 2002 | [[Philippe and Lie Bot.]]
/ Philippe: Lie Bot, how does Chinese Water Torture work? / Lie Bot: CWT? That's when you dip a person's hand in warm water while they're asleep, and they wet their pants!
/ Philippe: Oh my gosh! / [[Philippe and Lie Bot look upon Lyle, who is passed out on the floor next to... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10232002 |
| Achewood - October 23, 2002 | [[Philippe and Lie Bot.]]
/ Philippe: Lie Bot, how does Chinese Water Torture work? / Lie Bot: CWT? That's when you dip a person's hand in warm water while they're asleep, and they wet their pants!
/ Philippe: Oh my gosh! / [[Philippe and Lie Bot look upon Lyle, who is passed out on the floor next to... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10232002 |
| Achewood - October 23, 2003 | [[Nice Pete and Teodor around Teodor's computer]]
/ Narrator: SOON
/ Nice Pete: ...and remember the time when a lady found a chicken head in McNuggets
/ Teodor: Really? You put it there? / Nice Pete: I planned that out for ages
/ Nice Pete: Worked at McDonald's for six months to get that one right
/ Teodor:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10232003 |
| Bensington as shirtless Irish jump-dancer | Caption: ONE HOUR LATER.
/ Lonis: There, is that what you meant by "shirtless Irish jump-dancing"? / [[Bensington dances.]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10232006 |
| Bensington as shirtless Irish jump-dancer | Caption: ONE HOUR LATER.
/ Lonis: There, is that what you meant by "shirtless Irish jump-dancing"? / [[Bensington dances.]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10232006 |
| Bensington as shirtless Irish jump-dancer | Caption: ONE HOUR LATER.
/ Lonis: There, is that what you meant by "shirtless Irish jump-dancing"? / [[Bensington dances.]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10232006 |
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