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| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06102009">http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06102009 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06102010">http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06102010 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Achewood - June 11, 2002 | Ray: Aww c'mon now Roast Beef! You a pretty damn handsome fellow!
/ Roast Beef: Oh I ain't much to look at Ray Not much at all. / Ray: Seriously, Beef! You oughta go and get yourself a lady!
/ Roast Beef: Oh stop it now Ray / Ray: You a charming fellow! You doin' the ladies a big disservice just by... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06112002 |
| Achewood - June 11, 2003 | Ray: Uh, Beef?
/ Did y-you use cash or credit card for this place? / Roast Beef: Cash
/ Guy wouldn't even LOOK at my credit card
/ Why you askin anyway / [[ Ray lifts bedsheet ]] / Roast Beef: Oh my god / Roast Beef: Ray don't tell me you made PICKLES in this bed
/ Ray: Man, let's get out of here! / [[... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06112003 |
| Achewood - June 11, 2003 | Ray: Uh, Beef?
/ Did y-you use cash or credit card for this place? / Roast Beef: Cash
/ Guy wouldn't even LOOK at my credit card
/ Why you askin anyway / [[ Ray lifts bedsheet ]] / Roast Beef: Oh my god / Roast Beef: Ray don't tell me you made PICKLES in this bed
/ Ray: Man, let's get out of here! / [[... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06112003 |
| Achewood - June 11, 2004 | [[Ray is on the phone, sitting in front of his computer]]
/ Ray: Hey. Yeah. This is Ray Smuckles over at Prime Time. / Ray: Yeah, I need a picture of the guys from Steely Dan where one of them is from America's Test Kitchen and the other one has been interrupted from a phone call where he was trading... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06112004 |
| Achewood - June 11, 2007 | Magazine: Bachelor Party 101: This is not your father's stag loop!
/ Magazine: Curtis Belkin
/ Magazine: special to California Bridegroom / Magazine: It's true! The modern bridegroom needn't be subjected to traumatic, bond-betraying experiences with prostitutes and strippers in this enlightened age. ... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06112007 |
| Achewood - June 11, 2007 | [[Ray reading a magazine on the sofa.]] / [[Close up of magazine article]]
/ Bachelor Party 101: This is not your father's stag loop!
/ Curtis Belkin
/ special to California Bridegroom / [[Continuation of magazine article]]
/ It's true! The modern bridegroom needn't be subjected to traumatic, bond-betraying... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06112007 |
| Picking Up Showbiz at the "Airport" | [[Roast Beef has picked Showbiz up from the police station. They are in his car.]]
/ Showbiz: So! 'Ssssup, brah! Didn't think I'd miss your wedding, didja? / Roast Beef: Oh uh definitely not we got a seat for you and everything
/ Showbiz: 'Course you do, bro-dareeno! You always gotta have a seat for... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06112008 |
| Achewood - June 12, 2002 | Roast Beef: Uh no Todd
/ Roast Beef: Water don't have too much nutrients in it I don't believe
/ [[In the distance, Ray slaps his paws to his cheeks in alarm.]] / Ray: Stand down, Roast Beef! Water has hella nutrients in it!
/ Roast Beef: Uh hold on would you please Todd / Ray: How do you think plants... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06122002 |
| Achewood - June 12, 2002 | Roast Beef: Uh no Todd
/ Roast Beef: Water don't have too much nutrients in it I don't believe
/ [[In the distance, Ray slaps his paws to his cheeks in alarm.]] / Ray: Stand down, Roast Beef! Water has hella nutrients in it!
/ Roast Beef: Uh hold on would you please Todd / Ray: How do you think plants... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06122002 |
| Achewood - June 12, 2003: A Frank Conversation on Pornography. | [[Ray and Teodor are at home. Ray is on the sofda; Teodor approaches]]
/ Teodor: Hey, whatcha watchin'?
/ Ray: Lyle just picked up the new Candy Canyons DVD, dogg! Pull up a seat! / Teodor: That pornstar who died last year? / Ray: No, you thinkin' of Fratella San Zanille. Candy is still alive. Check... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06122003 |
| Achewood - June 12, 2003: A Frank Conversation on Pornography. | [[Ray and Teodor are at home. Ray is on the sofda; Teodor approaches]]
/ Teodor: Hey, whatcha watchin'?
/ Ray: Lyle just picked up the new Candy Canyons DVD, dogg! Pull up a seat! / Teodor: That pornstar who died last year? / Ray: No, you thinkin' of Fratella San Zanille. Candy is still alive. Check... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06122003 |
| Achewood - June 12, 2007 | MAN WHY YOU EVEN GOT TO DO A THING 5
/ your host Ed E. Haskell
/ An examination of my mouth when I sneeze / editor's hello corner
/ Hello. Dang people so like you know it is a Thing that I am engaged to Miss Lady now. There came a time. Anyhow, don't worry crafters, this ain't gonna soften up as a 'zine... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06122007 |
| Achewood - June 12, 2008 "See That You Do" | [[Ray sitting in chair reading a newspaper]]
/ Ray: Oh, police blotter. You make every newspaper a newspaper from Florida.
/ Ray: Whatcha got. / [[View of newspaper]]
/ Newspaper: Police Blotter
/ Newspaper: June 12
/ Newspaper: East Achewood -- A man was found severely beaten outside the TransBay bus terminal.... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06122008 |
| Achewood - June 13, 2002 | [[First two panels show a geometry problem for finding the length of the side of a triangle]] / Ray: Roast Beef! How long can you study geometry for?!
/ Roast Beef: 'til I get tired of it
/ Which is probably never Ray / Ray: Snoooooze!
/ That's boring!
/ Roast Beef: I love geometry Ray
/ It is extrememly... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06132002 |
| Achewood - June 13, 2002 | [[First two panels show a geometry problem for finding the length of the side of a triangle]] / Ray: Roast Beef! How long can you study geometry for?!
/ Roast Beef: 'til I get tired of it
/ Which is probably never Ray / Ray: Snoooooze!
/ That's boring!
/ Roast Beef: I love geometry Ray
/ It is extremely... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06132002 |
| Achewood - June 13, 2003 | [[RAY offers CHRIS ONSTAD a cocktail]]
/ RAY: Happy Birthday, Onstad. / So... uh... thanks for everything, I guess. / I hope you didn't want more of a fuss -- I couldn't figure out that dang "E-Vite" thing at all. / It seems like there is a difference between e-mail and Internet. Is that right? / Anyways,... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06132003 |
| Achewood - June 13, 2005 | [[Circus Penis has arrived at Teodor's house. Philippe hugs the seven dollars Circus has given him. Circus and Teodor are walking away.]]
/ Circus Penis: You ever think about doing any stud work in the adult film industry, Teodor? We'd be happy to have you. / Teodor [[looking down]]: Um, I dunno. I'm... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06132005 |
| Achewood - June 13, 2006 - The Badass Games 3 | {{Mouseover: "Cornelius has done more time than POPCORN"}} / Téodor [to Vlad]: Well, that was kinda lame. What are we gonna do next, vote? / Vlad: Is not surprisink if next challenge is to move in with mother. / Ray [gesturing to crate with airholes]: GENTLEMEN! Inside this box is a career prisoner!... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06132006 |
| Achewood - June 13, 2006 - The Badass Games 3 | {{Mouseover: "Cornelius has done more time than POPCORN"}} / Téodor [to Vlad]: Well, that was kinda lame. What are we gonna do next, vote? / Vlad: Is not surprisink if next challenge is to move in with mother. / Ray [gesturing to crate with airholes]: GENTLEMEN! Inside this box is a career prisoner!... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06132006 |
| Achewood - June 13, 2007, Marriage got to get paid, son | [[Roast Beef angry, Cornelius Bear in armchair with beverage]]
/ Roast Beef: JESUS CHRIST CAN YOU BELIEVE IT COSTS TEN THOUSAND CLAMS TO GET MARRIED ?!
/ Cornelius Bear: I certainly can. / Roast Beef: I mean there are hidden fees behind hidden fees!
/ Roast Beef: There are hidden fees which can't conceptually... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06132007 |
| Achewood - June 13, 2007, Marriage got to get paid, son | [[Roast Beef angry, Cornelius Bear in armchair reading with a beverage]]
/ Roast Beef: JESUS CHRIST CAN YOU BELIEVE IT COSTS TEN THOUSAND CLAMS TO GET MARRIED ?!
/ Cornelius Bear: I certainly can. / [[Close-up of Roast Beef]]
/ Roast Beef: I mean there are hidden fees behind hidden fees!
/ Roast Beef: There... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06132007 |
| Achewood - June 13, 2008: T-minus Three Weeks | [[Molly is reading the paper]] / [[Police Blotter. June 13. East Achewood - A midnight freight train unloading brick and flagstone was reported to have a "Flickering, glowing" area behind it, "About the size of a boxcar." Responding officers could find no supporting evidence. / East Achewood - A clerk... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06132008 |
| Birthday Party for Onstad | [[Ray hands a tiny cat-sized martini to Onstad, who is visible only from the legs down]]
/ Ray: Happy Birthday, Onstad. / Ray: So...uh...thanks for everything, I guess / Ray: I hope you didn't want more of a fuss -- I couldn't figure out that dang "E-Vite" thing at all / Ray: It seems like there is... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06142002 |
| Achewood - June 14, 2004 | [[Roast Beef is in heaven, standing before a burnt down church]]
/ roast beef: Molly? / [[Beef looks desolate. a voice comes from off panel.]]
/ voice: They's gone / [[Beef turns around]] / [[A creepy looking black cat with his left leg in a cast and a dog wearing a dope hat and smoking a pipe stand... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06142004 |
| Achewood - June 14, 2004 | [[Roast Beef is in heaven, standing before a burnt down church]]
/ roast beef: Molly? / [[Beef looks desolate. a voice comes from off panel.]]
/ voice: They's gone / [[Beef turns around]] / [[A creepy looking black cat with his left leg in a cast and a dog wearing a dope hat and smoking a pipe stand... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06142004 |
| Achewood - June 14, 2004 | [[Roast Beef is in heaven, standing before a burnt down church]]
/ Roast Beef: Molly? / [[Beef looks desolate. a voice comes from off panel.]]
/ Trouble Man: They's gone / [[Beef turns around]] / [[A creepy looking black cat with his left leg in a cast (No-No) and a dog wearing a dope hat and smoking... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06142004 |
| Achewood - June 14, 2004 | [[Roast Beef is in heaven, standing before a burnt down church]]
/ roast beef: Molly? / [[Beef looks desolate. a voice comes from off panel.]]
/ voice: They's gone / [[Beef turns around]] / [[A creepy looking black cat with his left leg in a cast and a dog wearing a dope hat and smoking a pipe stand... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06142004 |
| Onstad has a birthday | [[Roast Beef and Chris Onstad are standing around talking]]
/ Roast Beef: Dang so yeah uh I remembered that today is your birthday
/ Roast Beef: Nice / Roast Beef: So it's like if your old lady is all such as Get Up dammit and do a chore ! -- / Roast Beef: You can reply such as "I heard there was a sale... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06142005 |
| Achewood - June 14, 2006 - The Badass Games 4 | {{Mouseover: "Happy 31rd Birthday Chis Onsteadt! Sincerely, The Home Mortgage Pro's"}} / [[SOON.]] / Ray [to crated Prisoner]: Alright, Miami. Which of these dudes do you think has done hard time? / Miami: First off – Pat, when I make paper I'm gonna tear your throat out with a pair of salad tongs.... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06142006 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06142009">http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06142009 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Achewood - June 15, 2004 | Roast Beef: The ones that got out alive though, Where did they take them / Short One: None did come out / Short One: They was simply pig treated to smoke and flame / Short One: They was cured of many things at once / [[Meanwhile, on earth.]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06152004 |
| Achewood - June 15, 2004 | Roast Beef: The ones that got out alive though
/ Roast Beef: Where did they take them / Trouble Man: None did come out / Trouble Man: They was simply pig treated to smoke and flame / Trouble Man: They was cured of many things at once / [[Meanwhile, on earth.]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06152004 |
| Achewood - June 15, 2004 | Roast Beef: The ones that got out alive though, Where did they take them / Trouble Man: None did come out / Trouble Man: They was simply pig treated to smoke and flame / Trouble Man: They was cured of many things at once / [[Meanwhile, on earth.]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06152004 |
| Achewood - June 15, 2004 | Roast Beef: The ones that got out alive though, Where did they take them / Trouble Man: None did come out / Trouble Man: They was simply pig treated to smoke and flame / Trouble Man: They was cured of many things at once / [[Meanwhile, on earth.]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06152004 |
| Achewood - June 15, 2005 | {{Circus Penis and Teodor have been discussing a career in porn for the latter.}}
/ Circus Penis: Alright, Teodor, I've got you booked to stud in a half hour.
/ Teodor: Wow, already?! / Circus Penis: My friend Jim has a set over in East Achewood.
/ Circus Penis: He's shooting another installment of his... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06152005 |
| Achewood - June 15, 2007 | [[Roast Beef is reading something. Molly puts one hand on his shoulder from behind.]]
/ Molly: So, do you want to help me set up our registries? / [[Roast Beef continues reading as Molly begins rubbing his shoulders.]]
/ Roast Beef: You mean for like bone china and silver and goblets and antimacassars... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06152007 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06152009">http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06152009 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Achewood - June 16, 2003 | Roast Beef (clutching his wrist with his paw, nervously): So uh sorry I missed your birthday Onstad / Roast Beef (handing him a bottle): All I had around was this bottle of Asahi / [[Onstad reaches down and takes the bottle, crooking his finger around the neck. The bottle is about as big as his hand]]
/ Roast... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06162003 |
| Achewood - June 16, 2003 | Roast Beef (clutching his wrist with his paw, nervously): So uh sorry I missed your birthday Onstad / Roast Beef (handing him a bottle): All I had around was this bottle of Asahi / [[Onstad reaches down and takes the bottle, crooking his finger around the neck. The bottle is about as big as his hand]]
/ Roast... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06162003 |
| Achewood - June 16, 2003 | Roast Beef (clutching his wrist with his paw, nervously): So uh sorry I missed your birthday Onstad / Roast Beef (handing him a bottle): All I had around was this bottle of Asahi / [[Onstad reaches down and takes the bottle, crooking his finger around the neck. The bottle is about as big as his hand]]
/ Roast... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06162003 |
| Achewood - June 16, 2004 | Teodor: How's your campaign coming, Philippe?
/ Teodor: Did you put all your platform ideas on Post-its like I suggested?
/ Philippe: Yes! / [[Post-it note]]
/ a person who has a truck should not honk a bunch / [[Post-it note]]
/ If you get run over by a train, then that is very sad, but it could have... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06162004 |
| Achewood - June 16, 2004 | Teodor: How's your campaign coming, Philippe?
/ Teodor: Did you put all your platform ideas on Post-its like I suggested?
/ Philippe: Yes! / [[Post-it note]]
/ a person who has a truck should not honk a bunch / [[Post-it note]]
/ If you get run over by a train, then that is very sad, but it could have... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06162004 |
| Achewood - June 16, 2006 | {{Mouseover: "These are the four cars that define a man's soul"}} / Ray: Alright men, this is where the Badass Games get scientific! / Roast Beef: We gonna administer a test to determine your psychological profile doggs / Ray: This test is virtually impossible to cheat! Just go with your gut!
/ Beef:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06162006 |
| Achewood - June 17, 2002 | Teodor: Hey Pat, you wanna go check out Ray's ne brew pub?
/ Pat: That fool opened a brew pub? / Teodor: Come on, it'll be a good time!
/ Pat: That fool don't know how to open no brew pub / SOON / Ray: Hello, gentleman! Could I interest you in a fine ale, and perhaps our special half-pound Ahi burger?
/ Pat:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06172002 |
| Achewood - June 17, 2002 | [[Teodor is speaking via telephone to Pat]]
/ Teodor: Hey Pat, you wanna go check out Ray's ne brew pub?
/ Pat: That fool opened a brew pub? / Teodor: Come on, it'll be a good time!
/ Pat: That fool don't know how to open no brew pub / [[Panel Separator : SOON]] / [[Ray is standing behind a long table... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06172002 |
| Achewood - June 17, 2002 | Teodor: Hey Pat, you wanna go check out Ray's new brew pub?
/ Pat: That fool opened a brew pub? / Teodor: Come on, it'll be a good time!
/ Pat: That fool don't know how to open no brew pub / SOON / Ray: Hello, gentleman! Could I interest you in a fine ale, and perhaps our special half-pound Ahi burger?
/ Pat:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06172002 |
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