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| Achewood - June 4, 2003 | Ray: Beef, you got the wrong idea about music videos! / Ray: Now why don't you just try again! I know you can do better!
/ Roast Beef: Shucks man I don't know about this / Ray: Just make it fun to watch! That's all people want! Just make it a party! / [[Roast Beef thinks]] / LATER THAT NIGHT
/ [[Roast... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06042003 |
| Achewood - June 4, 2004 | [[A robed Roast Beef is falling before a backdrop of stars.]] / [[Ray turns his head to see Roast Beef in the doorway getting shot by Uncle Culpepper's bullet.]] / [[Further out shot. Roast Beef is still falling.]] / [[Ray turns his torso to see Roast Beef falling dead.]] / [[Further out shot. Roast... http://achewood.com/?date=06042004 |
| Achewood - June 4, 2004 | [[Roast Beef Is floating through space, ever nearer to heaven while Ray gets in a shootout with his Uncle Culpepper in the ER]]
/ {{no dialogue}} http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06042004 |
| The Ring. | [[Roast Beef is standing in front of a Tiffany & Co. store, contemplating on entering it.]] / [[Roast Beef walks away.]]
/ Roast Beef, thinking: Man I can't go in there and buy a ring they'd probably throw a shoe at me or try to lure me out with a rubber Kid Rock CD / [[Roast Beef grinds his teeth.]]
/ Roast... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06042007 |
| Wedding Vows | [[The Dude and Catastrophe sign]]
/ Cornelius: So, have you two lovebirds given any thought to your wedding vows? / [[Roast Beef stands, paw to his jaw in concentration. Cornelius is busy behind the bar, grabbing a bottle and snifter.]]
/ Roast Beef: Man well uh like ain't people like the most bored by... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06042008 |
| Wedding Vows | [[The Dude and Catastrophe sign]]
/ Cornelius: So, have you two lovebirds given any thought to your wedding vows? / [[Roast Beef stands, paw to his jaw in concentration. Cornelius is busy behind the bar, grabbing a bottle and snifter.]]
/ Roast Beef: Man well uh like ain't people like the most bored by... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06042008 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06042009">http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06042009 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Achewood - June 5, 2002 | Teodor: Hey everybody, let's get hats!
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06052002 |
| Achewood - June 5, 2003 | [[Lyle looks on at Cornelius Bear as Cornelius types at a computer. Lyle is holding a bottle of whiskey.]]
/ Lyle: Hold on -- you have a blog?
/ Cornelius Bear: I certainly do.
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06052003 |
| Achewood - June 5, 2006 | [[Teodor, behind his door]]
/ Teodor: YAH! YAHH! Look at the GENIUS! Look at him stand in his ROOM! / Roast Beef: Alright Ray we gonna do somethin' kind of nutty to catch him. What's the biggest speaker you got at your house right now / Ray: Huh. Let's see… I think the 22' Jackhammer Subwoofer I just... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06052006 |
| Achewood - June 5, 2007 | Molly: [[From Offstage]] Hey babe! Mind if I turn down the music? / Roast Beef: OH UH OH uh hey uh I didn't realize you would not be at work because you are supposed to be at work right now !
/ [[Molly presses keys on her cell phone]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06052007 |
| Achewood - June 5, 2007 | Molly: [[From Offstage]] Hey babe! Mind if I turn down the music? / Roast Beef: OH UH OH uh hey uh I didn't realize you would not be at work because you are supposed to be at work right now !
/ [[Molly presses keys on her cell phone]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06052007 |
| Achewood - June 5, 2007 | Molly: [[From Offstage]] Hey babe! Mind if I turn down the music? / Roast Beef: OH UH OH uh hey uh I didn't realize you would not be at work because you are supposed to be at work right now !
/ [[Molly presses keys on her cell phone]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06052007 |
| Achewood - June 5, 2008 (The Pre-Nup) | [[Vlad and Beef are standing around, drinking beer.]]
/ Vlad: So, you are gettink pre-nup agreement before weddink, yes?
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06052008 |
| Achewood - June 6, 2002 | [[Ray is sitting with a fork and knife]] / Ray: Roast Beef! These chimichangas are terrible!
/ Roast Beef: What's the matter with them Ray / Ray: They all soft an' crappy! How long ago did you fry them?
/ Roast Beef: Oh my / [[Close up on Roast Beef]]
/ Roast Beef: Shucks Ray I'm sorry
/ Roast Beef: I... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06062002 |
| Achewood - June 7, 2003 | [[A sign hangs above the toilet]]
/ If it's yellow let it mellow
/ If it's brown flush it down
/ If it's black call Dr. Andretti
/ 455-2123 http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06062003 |
| Achewood - June 7, 2003 | [[A sign hangs above the toilet]]
/ If it's yellow let it mellow
/ If it's brown flush it down
/ If it's black call Dr. Andretti
/ 455-2123 http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06062003 |
| Achewood - June 7, 2003 | [[A sign hangs above the toilet]]
/ If it's yellow let it mellow
/ If it's brown flush it down
/ If it's black call Dr. Andretti
/ 455-2123 http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06062003 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/index.php?dbbte=06062005">http://achewood.com/index.php?dbbte=06062005 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Achewood - June 6, 2007 | [[Roast Beef is sitting at the table with his electronics kit. He is not happy after Molly took the ring that was meant to be the engagement ring.]]
/ Roast Beef: Dang man if that ain't a sign I got to up and buy a real wedding ring / [[Roast Beef is now sitting in front of the computer tapping on the... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06062007 |
| Achewood - June 7, 2002 | [[ Pat is speaking to Ray on the telephone ]]
/ Ray: Pat, did yyyyyou steal my laundry!
/ Pat: I refuse to answer that question Ray. / Ray: Sayyy it, Pat! You just wanted to smell my dirty laundry, didn't yyyou?
/ Pat: You are unforgivable, Ray. / Pat: Are you drunk again?
/ Ray: Y--yes. Yes I am. / [[... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06072002 |
| Achewood - June 7, 2004 | [[A doctor is pushing Roast Beef on a gurney while Uncle Culpepper lies on another gurney]]
/ Ray: Hurry, Doc! Cold fix him up! Put it all on my tab, every penny! / Uncle Culpepper: Why, there you are dear nephew! I believe I did explore the greater half of Creation in pursuit of you!
/ Ray: Wait... what?... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06072004 |
| Achewood - June 7, 2005 | [[Teodor walks in on Ray and a guest in Ray's living room.]]
/ Teodor: Hey Ray, can I borrow your--oh, sorry, I didn't know you had company. / [[Closeup of Teodor; thought bubble]]
/ Teodor: Oh my god is that Circus Penis?! He looks so healthy. / [[Ray and Circus Penis smile.]]
/ Ray: Teodor! Don't you... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06072005 |
| Achewood - June 7, 2006 | [[Teodor is holding an ice pack to his head. Ray and Roast Beef stand nearby.]]
/ Teodor: Please tell me that no one saw me.
/ Ray: Just Philippe, but we told him the metal undies were part of a game we were playin'. / [[Teodor becomes angry.]]
/ Teodor: You jackass! Now he'll want to play! He'll beg everyone... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06072006 |
| Achewood - June 7, 2007 | [[The room is dark. Roast Beef sits asleep in front of the computer, when something suddenly makes him stir from his slumber.]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06072007 |
| Achewood - June 8, 2004 | [[Lie-bot, Chucklebot & Vlad are driving down a pickup truck country road at night]]
/ Lie-bot:Woo-hoo! / [[Lie bot sticks his ass over the side]]
/ lie bot: whoo!
/ chuckle bot: yeah! / lie bot: yeah! / chuckle bot:whoooooo! / lie bot: whoo! http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06082004 |
| Achewood - June 8, 2004 | [[Lie-bot, Chucklebot, Andy & Vlad are driving down a pickup truck country road at night]]
/ Lie-bot:Woo-hoo! / [[Lie bot sticks his ass over the side]]
/ lie bot: whoo!
/ Andy: yeah! / lie bot: yeah! / andy: whoooooo! / lie bot: whoo! http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06082004 |
| Achewood - June 8, 2006 - The Badass Games 1 | {{Mouseover: THE BADASS GAMES COMMENCE}} / [[Téodor is working at his computer when an envelope arrives undes the door with a small < http://achewood.com/?date=06082006 |
| Achewood - June 8, 2006 - The Badass Games 1 | {{Mouseover: THE BADASS GAMES COMMENCE}} / [[Téodor is working at his computer when an envelope arrives undes the door with a small < http://achewood.com/?date=06082006 |
| Achewood - June 8, 2006 | [[A door.]] / [[Téodor is sitting at his computer.]] / [[A letter is squeezed under the door with a FFT.]] / [[Téodor whips around to look at the letter.]] / [[A letter is squeezed with a FFT under Mr. Bear's door while he is reading and enjoying a glass of wine.]] / [[Mr. Bear turns to look at... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06082006 |
| Achewood - June 8, 2007 | [[Lyle is strolling through the house, whisky in hand.]] / [[He spies a football lying on the floor.]] / Lyle: Oh HELL yes! / [[Lyle fires a stream of projectile vomit at the football.]] < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06082007 |
| Achewood - June 8, 2007 | [[Lyle is strolling through the house, whisky in hand.]] / [[He spies a football lying on the floor.]] / Lyle: Oh HELL yes! / [[Lyle fires a stream of projectile vomit at the football.]] < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06082007 |
| Achewood - June 8, 2007 | [[Lyle is strolling through the house, whisky in hand.]] / [[He spies a football lying on the floor.]] / Lyle: Oh HELL yes! / [[Lyle fires a stream of projectile vomit at the football.]] < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06082007 |
| Achewood - June 9, 2003 | [[Teodor and Ray are talking.]]
/ Teodor: Wow, look at that watch!
/ Ray: What, this? Yeah, it's just my new Rolex. / Teodor: What does it do? It's huge! / Ray: Oh, it has all this GPS and phone and camera and internet and stuff, but the coolest thing is that it generates a diary about me! / Ray: I... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06092003 |
| Achewood - June 9, 2003 | [[Teodor and Ray are talking.]]
/ Teodor: Wow, look at that watch!
/ Ray: What, this? Yeah, it's just my new Rolex. / Teodor: What does it do? It's huge! / Ray: Oh, it has all this GPS and phone and camera and internet and stuff, but the coolest thing is that it generates a diary about me! / Ray: I... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06092003 |
| Success! | [[The robots are driving in a Datsun pickup, mooning the world after dark. Vlad is driving, with Chucklebot beside him. Lie Bot is doing most of the mooning out of the bed of the truck, with Andy next to him egging him on.]]
/ Andy: More, man, more!
/ Lie Bot: Yeah? / [[Lie Bot moons.]]
/ Lie Bot: WHOOOOOOOO!
/ Andy:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06092004 |
| Circus Penis / Seven Dollars | [[Philippe answers the door, dressed as a pirate.]]
/ Philippe: Yarr! There be hugs and kisses this way! / Circus Penis: Hello champ. Is this where Téodor lives? / Philippe: Who be wantin' to know! / Circus Penis: I'm his friend Circus. We have a meeting. / [[Philippe discards his pirate costume]]
/ Philippe:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06092005 |
| Achewood - June 9, 2006 - The Badass Games 2 | {{Mouseover: "Round One: Cornelius Bear"}} / [[Téodor, Cornelius, Vlad, Lyle, & Pat are gathered facing Ray & Roast Beef. Ray is addressing them, Beef stands silently next to Ray.]] / Ray: Welcome to the BADASS GAMES! / Ray: Badass men do not mess around! They get down to business IMMEDIATELY! / Ray:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06092006 |
| Philippe's New Shoes | [[Téodor and Philippe are standing in the house. Philippe's shoes are plugged into an outlet]]
/ Téodor: Philippe! Why are your shoes plugged into the wall?
/ Philippe: These are my new Speaker Sneakers! My mom sent them to me! / Téodor: What? What do they do?
/ Philippe: Watch! / [Philippe is running... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06102002 |
| Philippe's New Shoes | [[Téodor and Philippe are standing in the house. Philippe's shoes are plugged into an outlet]]
/ Téodor: Philippe! Why are your shoes plugged into the wall?
/ Philippe: These are my new Speaker Sneakers! My mom sent them to me! / Téodor: What? What do they do?
/ Philippe: Watch! / [Philippe is running... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06102002 |
| Achewood - June 10, 2003 | [[Ray shows off his tricked-out watch, which keeps a journal for him]]
/ Teodor: Wow! Can it write like... Tony Robbins? / Ray: I think I got that one!
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06102003 |
| Achewood - June 10, 2003 | [[Ray and Teodor are talking about Ray's watch.]]
/ Teodor: Wow! Can it write like...Tony Robbins? / Ray: Yeah, I think I got that one!
/ [[Ray fiddles with his watch.]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06102003 |
| Achewood - June 10, 2004 | Music playing from car stereo: She's a brick.... HOUSE
/ Vlad: WHOO! / Uncle Marion Culpepper: It is truly a masterful forgery! Why, that beguiling android has even scented the paper with my own private blend of tobaccos! / Ray Smuckles: Yeah, he had us goin' but good.
/ Uncle Culpepper: I understand... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06102004 |
| The R.S.V.P. | [[Roast Beef is sitting in a chair, reading the paper.]]
/ Roast Beef (thinks): Let's see if I can spend five minutes not thinkin' about this damn wedding
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06102008 |
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