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| Achewood - May 28, 2004 | Uncle Culpepper: Good morning, young 'suh! My name is Marion Adonis Culpepper, and I believe we are of relation. / Little Nephew: What's up, Yankee Doodle. / Uncle Culpepper: Forsooth! How dare you besmirch me with that GRIEVOUS appellation! / [[Uncle Culpepper shrugs off his coat]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05282004 |
| Achewood - May 29, 2002 | [[We see a scan of a line of dialogue.]]
/ Narrator: THE MAKING OF AN ACHEWOOD CARTOON STRIP
/ Narrator: featuring 01/10/2002: "Talkin' Dirty"
/ [[The line reads "Do you think you can hang with the dirtiest dudes in town?]]
/ Narrator: ... the precious genesis begins as a single thought / [[We see a scan... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05292002 |
| Recipe of the Month Club | [[Roast Beef is holding a box.]]
/ Roast Beef: Oh cool my Recipe of the Month membership finally kicked in / I wonder what they sent / Roast Beef: Oh awesome / Coq au vin / This is gonna be awesome / < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05292003 |
| Recipe of the Month Club | [[Roast Beef is holding a box.]]
/ Roast Beef: Oh cool my Recipe of the Month membership finally kicked in
/ Roast Beef: I wonder what they sent / Roast Beef: Oh awesome
/ Roast Beef: Coq au vin
/ Roast Beef: This is gonna be awesome / [[A box sits on a table, shaking]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05292003 |
| Achewood - May 29, 2007 | [[Ray reflecting on Roast Beef's impending proposal.]]
/ Ray, thinking: You know what? He's gonna go through with this. Time to get started on some wedding toast action. / [[Ray pouring himself a drink.]]
/ Ray, thinking: I got to make this special. Glenfiddich, bring out the passion in the man. Fill... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05292007 |
| Martha Stewart Weddings | [[In Roast Beef's hand: "martha stewart weddings" magazine. "la vie en rose... - classic cakes - choosing your dress - something borrowed..."]]
/ Roast Beef: Oh dang what's this / Roast Beef [[thinking]]: Jiminy Hendrix man these dresses must cost a hundred, two hundred clams in certain cases / Roast... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05292008 |
| Martha Stewart Weddings | [[In Roast Beef's hand: "martha stewart weddings" magazine. "la vie en rose... - classic cakes - choosing your dress - something borrowed..."]]
/ Roast Beef: Oh dang what's this / Roast Beef [[thinking]]: Jiminy Hendrix man these dresses must cost a hundred, two hundred clams in certain cases / Roast... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05292008 |
| Achewood - May 30, 2002 | [[Mr. Bear stands over Lyle while he drawing something]]
/ Mr. Bear: Lyle! You know calligraphy! That's quite impressive!
/ Lyle: Hey! Get lost! Go to hell! / Mr. Bear: The art of elegant handwriting is nothing to be ashamed of, Lyle! One can make quite a good living that way!
/ Lyle: Really? / [[Mr.... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05302002 |
| Achewood - May 30, 2003 | [[Lie Bot is standing inside a fake television]]
/ Lie Bot: Alright everybody! It's time to see my ass! / [[Lyle and Teodor sit on the couch, looking somewhat annoyed]]
/ Lye: NO WAY MAN
/ Teodor: BOO TO THAT / [[Cut back to Lie Bot]]
/ Lie Bot: How do you know that a robot's ass is bad?
/ [[From off screen]]
/ Teodor:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05302003 |
| Achewood - May 30, 2006 | [[Ray, Teodor, and Roast Beef discuss the cantilevered penis weight underwear phenomenon in the pool house.]]
/ Ray: Gentlemen, we must share our discovery with the world. It is in the spirit of the highest good. / Roast Beef: But I fear the world is not ready to accept the necessary apparel / Teodor:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05302006 |
| Achewood - May 30, 2007 | [[Night. Roast Beef is walking alone, wearing a black sweat shirt.]]
/ Roast Beef (thinking): Man enough of all this chitchat I got to lose myself in some won ton Go hit Chevy Ford Wo's for some of the classic old stuff / [[Outside of Chevy Ford Wo's. A few silhouetted figures can be seen through the... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05302007 |
| A Look Inside...Roast Beef Weddings | [[Inside Roast Beef's wedding magazine.]]
/ roast beef's wedding manners 101 / [["ON HUGGING OTHER MEN - Men in neckties do not wish to be hugged. Men in turtlenecks expect hugs at each encounter, no matter how trivial. Men in fezzes are unpredictable, and may be at your wedding for reasons that are... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05302008 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05302009">http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05302009 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Achewood - May 31, 2002 | [[Ray is leaning in from the left of the panel, in shirt and tie. Roast Beef is alsoin shirt and tie, but is seated at a computer, looking at ray in a concerned manner.]]
/ Ray: Roast Beef, could you come into my office? / {{single panel}}
/ {{alt text: On Monday the author is laid off for real}} http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05312002 |
| Achewood - May 31, 2002 | [[Ray is leaning in from the left of the panel, in shirt and tie. Roast Beef is also in shirt and tie, but is seated at a computer, looking at Ray in a concerned manner.]]
/ Ray: Roast Beef, could you come into my office? / {{single panel}}
/ {{alt text: On Monday the author is laid off for real}} http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05312002 |
| Achewood - May 31, 2005 | {{Beef, driving the Volvo of Despair, is calling Molly to have her prove her true love for him by jumping off a cliff. This is at the suggestion of a face imprinted in the passenger seat (Mr. Stiller) by Ray's tush.}}
/ [[Molly is at home, on the telephone]]
/ Molly: Hey Beef? This is Molly! Listen, Kelly... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05312005 |
| Page from Beef's Zine | [[A sneak preview of Roast Beef's upcoming 'zine, "MAN WHY YOU EVEN GOT TO DO A THING"]]
/ [[The Definitive Interview: Ray Smuckles]]
/ Roast Beef: In his role as a friend of mine, Ray agreed to do an interview for Man Why You Even Got To Do A Thing. This interview was conducted on May 6, 2006, at my place,... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05312006 |
| Achewood - May 31, 2007 | [[Roast Beef, wearing a black zipper sweatshirt and staring blankly downward, is walking at night.]]
/ Roast Beef, thought: Man these wise old crudgens got some points / [[The scene zooms out to reveal a lonely, lamp-lit street with a flat horizon and Beef on the sidewalk.]]
/ Roast Beef, thought: Smart... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05312007 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05312010">http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05312010 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Achewood - June 1, 2004 | [[The telephone rings]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06012004 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/?date=06012005">http://achewood.com/?date=06012005 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Achewood - June 1, 2006 | {{Title text: Page two of Roast Beef's upcoming 'zine interview with Ray. Magic underpants narrative returns Friday.}} / RAY: [looks at drink, shakes head] This is no way to treat a man. What did you say? / ME: I said that growing up wealthy, you probably should not listen to and promote music that... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06012006 |
| Achewood - June 1, 2007 | [[Ray sits alone at a computer, talking on a cordless phone.]]
/ Ray: Yo, T! Beef's proposin' to Molly! / Ray: No, not yet. But we kind of had a little talk. You could see the dude steel up. He knew it was time. / [[Ray leans back and rocks the chair.]]
/ Ray: Seriously man. Four years, dude.... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06012007 |
| Achewood - June 1, 2007 | [[Ray sits alone at a computer, talking on a cordless phone.]]
/ Ray: Yo, T! Beef's proposin' to Molly! / Ray: No, not yet. But we kind of had a little talk. You could see the dude steel up. He knew it was time. / [[Ray leans back and rocks the chair.]]
/ Ray: Seriously man. Four years, dude.... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06012007 |
| Achewood - June 2, 2003 | Philippe: Lie Bot, what is the saddest thing?
/ Lie Bot: Philippe, Philippe, Philippe. / Lie Bot: The saddest thing is a little girl who is told by her own mother and father that she will never be pretty. / [[Lie Bot pauses. Philippe is distraught.]] / Lie Bot: And then they open the front door, and... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06022003 |
| Achewood - June 2, 2004 | [[Ray is on the telephone]]
/ Ray: Hey Beef! You seen Uncle Culpepper around? He didn't come home last night! / [[Roast Beef is in a room with the shades pulled, on the telephone]]
/ Roast Beef: Oh uh yeah man you ain't gonna believe this but I saw him carryin' on with Tina last night dogg
/ Ray: What?... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06022004 |
| Achewood - June 2, 2006 | [[Ray and Roast Beef are wearing their metal weighted underwear.]]
/ Roast Beef: Dogg what got into him this is some black beans Ray what we gonna do? / Ray: I have a strong suspicion that his slip into aggression is due to a miscalibrated frontweight. What did you use? / Roast Beef: I made his weight... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06022006 |
| Achewood - June 2, 2006 | [[Ray and Roast Beef are wearing their metal weighted underwear.]]
/ Roast Beef: Dogg what got into him this is some black beans Ray what we gonna do? / Ray: I have a strong suspicion that his slip into aggression is due to a miscalibrated frontweight. What did you use? / Roast Beef: I made his weight... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06022006 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06022009">http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06022009 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Your teeth seem sharp | [[Ray peeks in from the corner of the panel at Beef, who is at the computer]]
/ Ray: Roast Beef, could you come into my office?
/ Roast Beef: okay / Ray: Listen, Beef. There's no easy way to say this... / Ray: ...but you're leaving the company.
/ [[Roast Beef starts]]
/ Roast Beef: I am? / Ray: Sorry,... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06032002 |
| Your teeth seem sharp | [[Ray peeks in from the corner of the panel at Beef, who is at the computer]]
/ Ray: Roast Beef, could you come into my office?
/ Roast Beef: okay / Ray: Listen, Beef. There's no easy way to say this... / Ray: ...but you're leaving the company.
/ [[Roast Beef starts]]
/ Roast Beef: I am? / Ray: Sorry,... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06032002 |
| Achewood - June 3, 2003 | [Ray looks in alarm at a CD] / Ray: Oh, no WAY is he playin' this heavy metal bull-crap in MY house! / [CD reads: Hyddyn Sceptyre - into the Graemlin's abyss] / Ray: Little Nephew, I'm takin' Hyddyn Sceptyre away. / Little Nephew: You can't do that! I'll just get another one! / Ray [thinking]:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06032003 |
| Achewood - June 3, 2003 | [Ray looks in alarm at a CD] / Ray: Oh, no WAY is he playin' this heavy metal bull-crap in MY house! / [CD reads: Hyddyn Sceptyre - into the Graemlin's abyss] / Ray: Little Nephew, I'm takin' Hyddyn Sceptyre away. / Little Nephew: You can't do that! I'll just get another one! / Ray [thinking]:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06032003 |
| Achewood - June 3, 2004 | [[Roast Beef is in a room with the shades pulled, on the phone]]
/ Roast Beef: Hey Emeril dogg did Ray just swing by there all in a huff
/ Emeril: He were much aggry-vated and we did send him to Hospital yes / Roast Beef: Dang was he really that freaked out by Tina jamming his uncle?!
/ Emeril: He did... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06032004 |
| Achewood - June 3, 2004 | [[Roast Beef is in a room with the shades pulled, on the phone]]
/ Roast Beef: Hey Emeril dogg did Ray just swing by there all in a huff
/ Emeril: He were much aggry-vated and we did send him to Hospital yes / Roast Beef: Dang was he really that freaked out by Tina jamming his uncle?!
/ Emeril: He did... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06032004 |
| Achewood - June 3, 2004 | [[Roast Beef is in a room with the shades pulled, on the phone]]
/ Roast Beef: Hey Emeril dogg did Ray just swing by there all in a huff
/ Emeril: He were much aggry-vated and we did send him to Hospital yes / Roast Beef: Dang was he really that freaked out by Tina jamming his uncle?!
/ Emeril: He did... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06032004 |
| Achewood - June 3, 2005 | {{Ray dropped his medallion in the Volvo of Despair. It has hell of properties, perhaps enough to save Beef (who is still trapped in the Volvo) although Mr. Bear is skeptical.}}
/ [[Ray and Mr. Bear arguing outside]]
/ Ray: Fine, then! Don't be any help at all! BE completely a dick! / [[Ray is on the... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06032005 |
| Wedding Menu | [[Molly and Téodor are walking or something.]]
/ Téodor: Okay, so for the wedding menu -- did you guys have anything in mind?
/ Molly: Well, you know Beef's greek, so-- / Téodor: --so he wants to drink wine that taste like it got to third base with a schnauzer?
/ Molly: You've had restina? He made me try... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06032008 |
| Achewood - June 4, 2002 | [[Ray and Roast Beef are standing near a wall. Pat is walking by]] / Ray: Hey, did Pat's fancy new hat!
/ Roast Beef: What a nice new pork pie hat Pat / [[Pat turns around to look at them]]
/ Ray: Hey Pat, stock market been treatin' you well?
/ Roast Beef: Where's your Rolls Royce Pat / Ray: So, Pat,... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06042002 |
| Achewood - June 4, 2002 | [[Ray and Roast Beef are standing near a wall. Pat is walking by]] / Ray: Hey, did Pat's fancy new hat!
/ Roast Beef: What a nice new pork pie hat Pat / [[Pat turns around to look at them]]
/ Ray: Hey Pat, stock market been treatin' you well?
/ Roast Beef: Where's your Rolls Royce Pat / Ray: So, Pat,... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06042002 |
| Achewood - June 4, 2002 | [[Ray and Roast Beef are standing near a wall. Pat is walking by]] / Ray: Hey, did Pat's fancy new hat!
/ Roast Beef: What a nice new pork pie hat Pat / [[Pat turns around to look at them]]
/ Ray: Hey Pat, stock market been treatin' you well?
/ Roast Beef: Where's your Rolls Royce Pat / Ray: So, Pat,... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06042002 |
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