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| Achewood - May 2, 2006 | [[Ray and Teodor are in Airwolf]]
/ Ray: Alright, you want a beer or anything? Help yourself - I put some Coronas in the mini-fridge before I left. / Teodor: I... is that allowed? Can you have an open container in the cockpit? / Ray: Dude, "A," the Airwolf cockpit has one-way glass...
/ Ray: ...and "B,"... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05022006 |
| Achewood - May 2, 2006 | [[Ray and Teodor are in Airwolf]]
/ Ray: Alright, you want a beer or anything? Help yourself - I put some Coronas in the mini-fridge before I left. / Teodor: boobies / Ray: Dude, "A," the Airwolf cockpit has one-way glass...
/ Ray: ...and "B," you need to calm down. We'll find Philippe using Airwolf,... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05022006 |
| Achewood - May 2, 2007 | [[Ray has just been hit in the face with a pitch]]
/ Vlad: NO photo: Absolutely there is none!
/ Cornelius: TAAAAAPE! / SOON.
/ Teodor: Ray! RAY! Can you hear me? / [[Blood spurts out of Ray's ears every time he talks]]
/ Ray: Teodor!
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05022007 |
| Achewood - May 2, 2007 | [[Ray has just been hit in the face with a pitch. Ray holds his nose in pain while Vlad and Cornelius each holds half of Ray's broken glasses.]]
/ Vlad: NO photo: Absolutely there is none!
/ Cornelius: TAAAAAPE! / Narrator: SOON.
/ [[Ray's glasses are now taped together. Roast Beef and Teodor hold Ray's... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05022007 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05022008">http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05022008 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Achewood - May 3, 2002 | {{Alt-text: It was so sad}} / [[Teodor is sitting at his computer, talking in a chat room.]]
/ > *Vlad12Roses has entered the room*
/ > Vlad12Roses: Babies, is Vlad
/ > Vlad12Roses: Whatz up 2nite
/ Teodor: Whoah, it's Vlad! / [[Teodor begins typing]]
/ > T-ADORE: Whatz up Vlad?
/ > Vlad12Roses: RU hot t-adore
/ >... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05032002 |
| Achewood - May 3, 2004 | [[Roast Beef is wearing a raccoon-skin hat and holds a telescope.]]
/ Ray: Hoo-oooo!
/ Ray: Boss kaleidoscope, Beef! / Roast Beef: Man I was digging through all my old kid stuff in the attic this morning man
/ Roast Beef: Check this thing out / [[Ray looks through the telescope.]]
/ Ray: Ha ha! / Ray:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05032004 |
| Achewood - May 3, 2004 | [[Roast Beef is wearing a raccoon-skin hat and holds a telescope.]]
/ Ray: Hoo-oooo!
/ Ray: Boss kaleidoscope, Beef! / Roast Beef: Man I was digging through all my old kid stuff in the attic this morning man
/ Roast Beef: Check this thing out / [[Ray looks through the telescope.]]
/ Ray: Ha ha! / Ray:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05032004 |
| Achewood - May 3, 2004 | [[Roast Beef is wearing a raccoon-skin hat and holds a telescope.]]
/ Ray: Hoo-oooo!
/ Ray: Boss kaleidoscope, Beef! / Roast Beef: Man I was digging through all my old kid stuff in the attic this morning man
/ Roast Beef: Check this thing out / [[Ray looks through the telescope.]]
/ Ray: Ha ha! / Ray:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05032004 |
| Achewood - May 3, 2004 | [[Roast Beef is wearing a raccoon-skin hat and holds a telescope.]]
/ Ray: Hoo-oooo!
/ Ray: Boss kaleidoscope, Beef! / Roast Beef: Man I was digging through all my old kid stuff in the attic this morning man
/ Roast Beef: Check this thing out / [[Ray looks through the telescope.]]
/ Ray: Ha ha! / Ray:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05032004 |
| Achewood - May 3, 2006 | < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05032006 |
| Achewood - May 3, 2006 - Ray Kills Philippe | [[A rocket has been launced from the Airwolf helicopter]]
/ Rocket: < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05032006 |
| Achewood - May 3, 2007 | [[Outside of medical building]]
/ Doctor: Fellows, I've evaluated Ray's condition after the softball injury. / Doctor: I have good news, and I have bad news.
/ Téodor: Is Ray...retarded now? / [[Téodor, Cornelius, Roast Beef, and Lyle are in the room with the doctor]]
/ Doctor: The bad news is, yes, Ray... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05032007 |
| Achewood - May 3, 2007 | [[Outside of medical building]]
/ Doctor from off-frame: Fellows, I've evaluated Ray's condition after the softball injury. / [[Cut to the doctor talking to Teodor. The doctor is holding a clipboard.]]
/ Doctor: I have good news, and I have bad news.
/ Téodor: Is Ray...retarded now? / [[Téodor, Cornelius,... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05032007 |
| Achewood - May 3, 2007 | [[Outside of medical building]]
/ Doctor: Fellows, I've evaluated Ray's condition after the softball injury. / Doctor: I have good news, and I have bad news.
/ Téodor: Is Ray...retarded now? / [[Téodor, Cornelius, Roast Beef, and Lyle are in the room with the doctor]]
/ Doctor: The bad news is, yes, Ray... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05032007 |
| Achewood - May 4, 2004 | [[Ray is holding a liquor bottle and talking to Roast Beef]]
/ Ray: Man , Lyle left some bottle of ghetto gut around here.
/ Ray: I hate knowin' this stuff exists. / [[Roast Beef is now holding the bottle and examining the label]]
/ Roast Beef: Gusano Rojo man that is the stiff coal
/ Roast Beef: A real... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05042004 |
| Achewood - May 4, 2004 | [[Ray is holding a liquor bottle and talking to Roast Beef]]
/ Ray: Man , Lyle left some bottle of ghetto gut around here.
/ Ray: I hate knowin' this stuff exists. / [[Roast Beef is now holding the bottle and examining the label]]
/ Roast Beef: Gusano Rojo man that is the stiff coal
/ Roast Beef: A real... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05042004 |
| Achewood - May 4, 2005 | [[A short equation of mathematical gibberish is shown, handwritten on ruled paper. Equation: e[subscript g]²=[sigma][subscript b-1](n)[omega][subscript i][delta] Below, Ray is shown looking at the paper and holding a pencil.]] / [[Ray approaches Roast Beef at the kitchen counter.]]
/ Ray: Hey Roast... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05042005 |
| Achewood - May 4, 2005 | [[A short equation of mathematical gibberish is shown, handwritten on ruled paper. Equation: e[subscript g]²=[sigma][subscript b-1](n)[omega][subscript i][delta] Below, Ray is shown looking at the paper and holding a pencil.]] / [[Ray approaches Roast Beef at the kitchen counter.]]
/ Ray: Hey Roast... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05042005 |
| Achewood - May 4, 2005 | [[A short equation of mathematical gibberish is shown, handwritten on ruled paper. Equation: e[subscript g]²=[sigma][subscript b-1](n)[omega][subscript i][delta] Below, Ray is shown looking at the paper and holding a pencil.]] / [[Ray approaches Roast Beef at the kitchen counter.]]
/ Ray: Hey Roast... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05042005 |
| Achewood - May 4, 2005 | [[A short equation of mathematical gibberish is shown, handwritten on ruled paper. Equation: e[subscript g]²=[sigma][subscript b-1](n)[omega][subscript i][delta] Below, Ray is shown looking at the paper and holding a pencil.]] / [[Ray approaches Roast Beef at the kitchen counter.]]
/ Ray: Hey Roast... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05042005 |
| Achewood - May 4, 2007 | {{A single-panel spread of Philippe's recurring newsletter}} / The Philippe Times. Does Jelly Belly make a brain one? Vol 9 No. 4 / [[Large typeface]]
/ Friday Facts!
/ [[Byline]]
/ by Philippe, editor-in-chief!
/ [[A photo accompanying the byline shows Philippe in a cap]]
/ Wear a helmet of any type! / DID... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05042007 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/?date=05042009">http://achewood.com/?date=05042009 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05042010">http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05042010 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Achewood - May 5, 2003 | Roast Beef: What's the matter Ray You lookin' sour as hell / Ray: Oh, it's Little Nephew. He cut this album speakin' out against algebra and I'm pretty upset with him. / Roast Beef: The little dogg is against algebra That's understandable at his age
/ Ray: Don't you start encouragin' him, Beef! / Roast... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05052003 |
| Achewood - May 5, 2003 | Roast Beef: What's the matter Ray You lookin' sour as hell / Ray: Oh, it's Little Nephew. He cut this album speakin' out against algebra and I'm pretty upset with him. / Roast Beef: The little dogg is against algebra That's understandable at his age
/ Ray: Don't you start encouragin' him, Beef! / Roast... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05052003 |
| Achewood - May 5, 2003 - Baby Just Come Clean | [[We see the door to Ray's office. The window bears the logo of "PRIME TIME RECORDS." A plaque below reads, "RAY SMUCKLES - PRESIDENT."]]
/ Roast Beef: What's the matter Ray You lookin' sour as hell / [[Ray sits at his desk as Roast Beef stands in front, smoking a cigarette.]]
/ Ray: Oh, it's Little Nephew.... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05052003 |
| Achewood - May 5, 2004 | [[Ray, Téodor, and Roast Beef are standing outside.]]
/ Ray: Man, the adult film industry is really gettin' rocked by all these HIV outbreaks. / Téodor: I know. I think the whole production system shuts down for like a month every time a new case pops up. / Ray: I wonder if it's havin' any effect on... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05052004 |
| Achewood - May 5, 2005 | [[Téodor and Roast Beef talk in the kitchen. Behind them, Ray, with wild white hair and a pipe, is behind them, holding a frying pan at the stove.]]
/ Téodor: What's up with Ray and that wig?
/ Roast Beef: Oh uh he thinks he's channeling Einstein / [[Ray turns toward them, still holding a pan.]]
/ Téodor:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05052005 |
| Achewood - May 5, 2005 | [[Téodor and Roast Beef talk in the kitchen. Behind them, Ray, with wild white hair and a pipe, is behind them, holding a frying pan at the stove.]]
/ Téodor: What's up with Ray and that wig?
/ Roast Beef: Oh uh he thinks he's channeling Einstein / [[Ray turns toward them, still holding a pan.]]
/ Téodor:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05052005 |
| Achewood - May 5, 2005 | [[Téodor and Roast Beef talk in the kitchen. Behind them, Ray, with wild white hair and a pipe, is behind them, holding a frying pan at the stove.]]
/ Téodor: What's up with Ray and that wig?
/ Roast Beef: Oh uh he thinks he's channeling Einstein / [[Ray turns toward them, still holding a pan.]]
/ Téodor:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05052005 |
| Achewood - May 5, 2006 | < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05052006 |
| Achewood - May 5, 2006 - Philippe imagines God | [[Inside the cooler, Philippe is being buffetted by the explosion.]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05052006 |
| Achewood - May 6, 2002 | [[Cornelius is reading the paper]]
/ Lyle: Hey, did the Lakers win last night?
/ Cornelius: I don't know. I gave the Sports section to Philippe. / Lyle: Since when does he like sports?
/ Cornelius: He's doing a pretend news show in the living room. / [[Philippe is in a cardboard television, broadcasting... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05062002 |
| Achewood - May 6, 2003 | Ray: Look at you, all dressin' the fool! What's gotten into you Little Nephew? / Little Nephew: Why you all up in my grill, Uncle Ray? Why you stickin' your wet noze all up in my shizzito? / Ray: What did you just say?!
/ Little Nephew: Seriously! Y'all be like a queer Jack Frost, cold nippin' at my... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05062003 |
| Achewood - May 6, 2003 - His Bozack is Flayed | [[Ray is looking down upon Little Nephew, who is dressed in a backwards baseball cap and a T-shirt bearing his initials, "Ln."
/ Ray: Look at you, all dressin' the fool! What's gotten into you, Little Nephew? / Little Nephew: Why you all up in my grill, Uncle Ray? Why you stickin' your wet nose all up... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05062003 |
| Achewood - May 6, 2004 | OK Phillippe it's time to work on your campaign some more
/ Did you make a list of things that you would do if you were President like I asked / No! / Ok it's getting closer to the summer campaigning season so maybe let's work on that a little today
/ Okay! / Yaaaay! / Good then now what is your opinion... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05062004 |
| Achewood - May 6, 2004 | [[Roast Beef is sitting at a desk with pen and paper while wearing a short-sleeved white dress shirt and a black tie. Philippe is standing next to the desk.]]
/ Roast Beef: OK Philippe it's time to work on your campaign some more
/ Roast Beef: Did you make a list of things that you would do if you were... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05062004 |
| Achewood - May 6, 2004 | Roast Beef: OK Phillippe it's time to work on your campaign some more
/ Did you make a list of things that you would do if you were President like I asked / Phillipe:No! / Roast Beef: Ok it's getting closer to the summer campaigning season so maybe let's work on that a little today / Phillipe: Okay! / Phillipe:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05062004 |
| Achewood - May 6, 2008 | Molly: Beef? Baby? Want to come watch Dancing With The Stars with me?
/ Roast Beef: Oh uh sorry babe can't let up got to make this money while i still got famousness
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05062008 |
| Achewood - May 7, 2002 | Ray: Roast Beef! Why are you bringing me breakfast in bed?
/ Roast Beef: I guess I had trouble sleeping / Ray: These pancakes look delicious! Thank you! Ooh, and a tasty Bloody Mary.. what a treat! / Roast Beef: Did you know that I want to commit suicide? / {{I think it's so hilarious that that... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05072002 |
| Rhymedown 2003 | [[Ray is seated on an overstuffed sofa. Little Nephew is standing next to it.]]
/ Little Nephew: Well look who it is, all sitting down on the couch!
/ It's old Uncle Ray, I can tell by the pouch! / Little Nephew: He's got his remotes, he's got one of each kind!
/ Too bad they don't make one that turns... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05072003 |
| Achewood - May 7, 2003 - Rhymedown 2003 | [[Ray is seated on an overstuffed sofa. Little Nephew is standing next to it.]]
/ Little Nephew: Well look who it is, all sitting down on the couch!
/ Little Nephew: It's old Uncle Ray, I can tell by the pouch! / Little Nephew: He's got his remotes, he's got one of each kind!
/ Little Nephew: Too bad... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05072003 |
| Achewood - May 7, 2004 | Peter and the WOLF, motherfuckin eBay!
/ Yes, that's right! / PROKOFIEV, you fuck smellers! / I just want to buy the Peter and The wolf CD, damn you! / BANG BANG BANG / No, god dammit!
/ I DON'T want the one Kirstie Alley narrated! / No! I DON'T want the one David Bowie narrated! / Oh my GOD I don't... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05072004 |
| Achewood - May 7, 2004 | Roast Beef: Peter and the WOLF, motherfuckin eBay! Yes, that's right! / PROKOFIEV, you fuck smellers! / I just want to buy the Peter and The wolf CD, damn you! / (BANG BANG BANG) / Roast Beef: No, god dammit! I DON'T want the one Kirstie Alley narrated! / No! I DON'T want the one David Bowie narrated! / Oh... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05072004 |
| Achewood - May 7, 2004 | [[Roast Beef is sitting at his computer, typing.]]
/ Roast Beef: (thinking) Peter and The WOLF, motherfuckin' eBay!
/ Roast Beef: (thinking) Yes, that's right!
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05072004 |
| Peter and the Wolf | [[Roast Beef is sitting at his computer.]]
/ Roast Beef: Peter and the WOLF, motherfuckin eBay !
/ Yes, that's right!
/ < |
| Achewood - May 7, 2007 | [[Ray, in retarded bliss, is approached by Roast Beef]]
/ Roast Beef: Alright Ray I'm here with your afternoon Guess Basket
/ Ray: Hi, Beef! Ooh! Guess Basket! Guess Basket! I been lookin' forward to this, man! / [[Close up of Roast Beef's hand. He is holding two dice]]
/ Roast Beef: Okay Ray in my hand... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05072007 |
| Achewood - May 7, 2008 - An Appreciated Man | [[Plane flying through the sky.]]
/ Flight Attendant: Okay Mister Roast Beer sir, we're about to prepare for landing! Care to share a taxi with me to the hotel?
/ Roast Beef: I would never allow a lady to travel along with an unproven chauffeur ! / Flight Attendant: Oh, Mister Beef. You are SUCH a gentleman.... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05072008 |
| Achewood - May 8, 2002 - Ray's Startup #1 | [[Ray is standing behind Roast Beef, who is sitting at his computer.]]
/ Ray: Roast Beef! Why are you programming that computer? / Roast Beef: I guess it's the only thing that I'm really good at / Ray: What are you programming it to do?
/ Roast Beef: This spreadsheet would tell a person when they... http://achewood.com/?date=05082002 |
| Achewood - May 8, 2002 | [[Ray approaches Roast Beef as he uses a computer]]
/ Ray: Roast Beef! Why are you programming that computer? / Roast Beef: I guess it's the only thing I'm really good at / Ray: What are you programming it to do?
/ Roast Beef: This spreadsheet would tell a person when they needed to buy eggs or milk / Roast... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05082002 |
| Achewood - May 8, 2002 | [[Ray approaches Roast Beef as he uses a computer]]
/ Ray: Roast Beef! Why are you programming that computer? / Roast Beef: I guess it's the only thing that I'm really good at / Ray: What are you programming it to do?
/ Roast Beef: This spreadsheet would tell a person when they needed to buy eggs or... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05082002 |
| Ten Million Kids In Fedoras | [[Ray is pointing.]]
/ Ray: Alright now, that's it! You are off to your room!
/ Your fifteen minutes are up and it's time for the broom! / Ray: Like American Idol all mixed with Survivor,
/ I vote you off this island, little free verse MacGyver! / Little Nephew: You think you can quell me? I got DSL!
/ I'm... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05082003 |
| Achewood - May 8, 2003 - Ten Million Kids In Fedoras | [[Ray is pointing.]]
/ Ray: Alright now, that's it! You are off to your room!
/ Ray: Your fifteen minutes are up and it's time for the broom! / Ray: Like American Idol all mixed with Survivor,
/ Ray: I vote you off of this island, little free verse MacGyver! / Little Nephew: You think you can quell me?... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05082003 |
| Achewood - May 8, 2006 | Téodor! WHat happened? Where am I? / You're on Ray's helicopter. We found you lost at sea. / The...the couch! We need to save our old couch! It's on the barged headed for china! / Philippe, that couch was pretty worn out, and the dog had had a lot of problems on it. / But...but it trusted us, and... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05082006 |
| Achewood - May 8, 2006 - How Couches Actually Think | [[Exterior view of the Airwolf helicopter]]
/ Philippe: Téodor! What happened? Where am I? / [[Téodor holds the cooler lid open. Philippe is standing in the cooler, holding his "King of the Dump" sceptre.]]
/ Téodor: You're on Ray's helicopter. We found you lost at sea. / Philippe: The...the couch! We... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05082006 |
| Achewood - May 8, 2008 - The Man From C.H.I.V.A.S. | [[Roast Beef is eating, holding a fork with food on it, smiling, and has a loosened tie]]
/ [[An airplane in the sky]] / Narration: (Previously.) / Stewardess: I snuck you another Chivas...don't tell!...you can drink it real quick...and here's another one for the cab! Ssh!
/ [[Several small, empty bottles... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05082008 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05082009">http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05082009 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
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