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| Achewood - March 31, 2004 | [[Ray is shown on a typewriter in the streets of Berlin, wearing his newspaper suit as he furiously types his Lambda Manifesto, the manifesto is shown at the right and reads as follows]] / We are slaves to the LAMBDAS (waves of energy) which resonate thoughout all matter as a result of the big bang. / Retailer... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03312004 |
| Achewood - March 31, 2005 | [[Teodor holds a presentation board]]
/ Teodor: Here it is, fellows... your new logo! / [[Logo reads "Lyle and Ray's Perfect Jays", image of a joint with Ray's head on one end wearing Aviator sunglasses. He has stringy hair and holds a J in his mouth expectantly. On the opposite end of the joint, the... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03312005 |
| Achewood - April 1, 2002 | [[Lie Bot and Chucklebot.]]
/ Lie Bot: Ha ha! Chucklebot! You've still got it.
/ Chucklebot: YO I CAN'T STAY TOO LATE / Lie Bot: Why not? / Chucklebot: I HAVE TO KILL MY GIRLFRIEND TOMORROW
/ Lie Bot: Whoah! You're working some rough chuckles these days! / Chucklebot: WHAT, WAS THAT TOO MUCH?
/ Lie Bot:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04012002 |
| Achewood - April 1, 2003 | Vlad: Roast Beef! Did you get video card I am sendink!
/ Roast Beef: Yeah but Vlad why did you make me pay for priority mail / Roast Beef: I mean I live next door pretty much
/ Roast Beef: And you did not send me a peripheral it was basically just some pamphlets about tooth decay / Vlad: Excellent! So... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04012003 |
| Achewood - April 1, 2004 | Roast Beef: Hey John- Wake up!
/ Ray: Huh? What, Deanster? / Roast Beef: Your alarm clock has been going off for an hour / Ray: Oh No! I'm going to be late for my job...at the alarm clock company! http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04012004 |
| Achewood - April 1, 2004 | Roast Beef: Hey John- Wake up!
/ Ray: Huh? What, Deanster? / Roast Beef: Your alarm clock has been going off for an hour / Ray: Oh No! I'm going to be late for my job...at the alarm clock company! / {{alt text: AGH I am SO CLOSE to figuring out how to get syndicated}} http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04012004 |
| Achewood - April 1, 2005 | [[Map of Achewood Underground
/ Survey 187-B-109298 C.H. Mohr & Assoc. sn. 1 of 7 / Fig. 1: Sample cross section of the Achewood underground. / Excavation and construction of the Achewood underground began in earnest in 1945, spearheaded by billionaire (feline) developer J. Vincent J. Lemoni, who... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04012005 |
| Achewood - April 1, 2008 | Cornelius: Roast Beef! I say! Could you assist me in the selection of a personal computer? / Roast Beef: Oh yeah Cornelius definitely in the main I mean for real so like what are you looking for? / Cornelius: A sturdy little fellow, full of zip and dash! One that pops open each morning ready to put... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04012008 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04012012">http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04012012 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| The Party: Day XVI: Vlad | [[Vlad and Lie Bot are talking at a party]]
/ Lie Bot: So Vlad, how's the Make-Out King?
/ Vlad: Pretty good, Lie Bot. Been havink some pretty good make-outs. / Lie Bot: Anybody I know?
/ Vlad: < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04022002 |
| Achewood - April 2, 2003 | [[Night time in the neighborhood]] / [[Clock and Candle]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04022003 |
| Achewood - April 2, 2007 | [[Ray stands with a phone and a cocktail.]]
/ Ray: Simon Le Cowell! Nice to talk to you! / Cowell: [[off]] It's Cowell. Who am I speaking with, please.
/ Ray: The Grenchmen.
/ Cowell: I haven't got any idea what "The Grenchmen" is. / Ray: It's the Nazi skinhead band you were in! In high school! Sausage-leg... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04022007 |
| Achewood - April 2, 2008 | Teodor: Cornelius! Package from England! / Teodor: It's from...Shrovis-Bishopthorpe? It feels like...like a sturdy new head for a spade.
/ Cornelius: Ah, Teodor. Would that you narrated their television advertising.
/ Teodor: Huh? / Cornelius: I see a bright-eyed lad watching the deliveryman pull away,... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04022008 |
| Achewood - April 3, 2002 | [[PHILLIPPE and ULTRA-PEANUT are standing next to each other. ULTRA PEANUT is holding a piece of paper upon which PHILLIPPE has written. PHILIPPE is wearing a Mickey Mouse hat, a tie and pants. ULTRA PEANUT wears a skirt and top.]] / PHILLIPE: Look, this is the best that I can do. Do you like this?... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04032002 |
| Achewood - April 3, 2003 | Police officer: Hello, Pat Reynolds! Let's see now . . . armed robbery and manslaughter?
/ Why don't we just put you in with Nice Pete. / Pat: [[thinking]] "Nice Pete!" That doesn't sound like such a bad guy to share a cell with!
/ Probably just a crooked accountant or something! / Police Officer:... http://achewood.com/?date=04032003 |
| Achewood - April 3, 2003 | [[Police Station]]
/ POLICE OFFICER AT DESK: Hello, Pat Reynolds! Let's see now... armed robbery and manslaughter?
/ Why don't we just put you in with Nice Pete. / [[PAT is led through a hall reading BLOCK A]]
/ PAT: {{Thinking to self}} "Nice Pete!" That don't sound like such a bad guy to share a cell... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04032003 |
| Nice Pete | [[Police Station]]
/ Police officer at desk: Hello, Pat Reynolds! Let's see now... armed robbery and manslaughter?
/ Why don't we just put you in with Nice Pete. / [[Pat is led through a hall reading BLOCK A]]
/ Pat: {{Thinking to self}} "Nice Pete!" That don't sound like such a bad guy to share a cell... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04032003 |
| Achewood - April 3, 2006 | Philippe: Lie Bot, I can't sleep. Will you tell me a fairy tale?
/ Lie Bot: Sure, little guy! Get under the covers! / Lie Bot: Okay then. There's this Dutch kid, and he sees water leaking out of a dyke, so he sticks his finger into the leak to stop it.
/ Philippe: Wow! Phew. / Lie Bot: Unfortunately,... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04032006 |
| Achewood - April 3, 2006 | Philippe: Lie Bot, I can't sleep. Will you tell me a fairy tale?
/ Lie Bot: Sure, little guy! Get under the covers! / Lie Bot: Okay then. There's this Dutch kid, and he sees water leaking out of a dyke, so he sticks his finger into the leak to stop it.
/ Philippe: Wow! Phew. / Lie Bot: Unfortunately,... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04032006 |
| Achewood - April 3, 2007 | [[Caption: FINALLY, ON THE FILM SET]]
/ [[Ray is in his Simon Le Cowell garb and Rod is sitting with a magazine.]]
/ Ray: Alright, Rod. We couldn't find anyone else to star with you, so you just get on the bed and do what you gotta do to make this dirty.
/ [[He gives Rod an encouraging slap on the back.]] / Rod:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04032007 |
| Achewood - April 3, 2008 | [[Cornelius is working with his laptop]]
/ Laptop: Welcome to Shrovis-Bishopthorpe: good, British computing. Click anywhere on the titmouse to begin / [[Moves mouse to click on picture of a titmouse on laptop screen. A sound is played.]]
/ Laptop: Well done. Now, please click elsewhere on the titmouse. / [[Moves... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04032008 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04032012">http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04032012 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| The Party: Day XVIII: Little Nephew | Ray: Little nephew! What are you doing here? / Ray: You should be at home, practicing your musical instrument! Run along now! / Little Nephew: But, Uncle Ray! I want to party like you do! I want to get my Bone on! / Ray: < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04042002 |
| The Party: Day XVIII: Little Nephew | < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04042002 |
| Achewood - April 4, 2003 | [[PAT and NICE PETE in a cell]]
/ PAT: So... what are you in for, Nice Pete? / [[NICE PETE STARES]] / NICE PETE: I would take a picture of a child / NICE PETE: And I would put that picture on the Internet / PAT: Y-you mean naked pictures? / NICE PETE: No, they was all dressed and such
/ PAT: Then... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04042003 |
| Achewood - April 4, 2005 | Herro. This ah Ray Smuckel? / Yeah. Speak up! You got a pretty thick accent. / I am represent Japan Man. / You afraid, Ray Smuckel? / Who's Japan Man? Did we party? / You not want make enemy Japan Man. / I ain't wanna make enemies with anybody! What's this about? / Japan Man sell all the weed... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04042005 |
| Achewood - April 4, 2005 | Herro. This ah Ray Smuckel? / Yeah. Speak up! You got a pretty thick accent. / I am represent Japan Man. / You afraid, Ray Smuckel? / Who's Japan Man? Did we party? / You not want make enemy Japan Man. / I ain't wanna make enemies with anybody! What's this about? / Japan Man sell all the weed... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04042005 |
| Achewood - April 4, 2005 | Herro. This ah Ray Smuckel? / Yeah. Speak up! You got a pretty thick accent. / I am represent Japan Man. / You afraid, Ray Smuckel? / Who's Japan Man? Did we party? / You not want make enemy Japan Man. / I ain't wanna make enemies with anybody! What's this about? / Japan Man sell all the weed... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04042005 |
| Achewood - April 4, 2005 | Herro. This ah Ray Smuckel? / Yeah. Speak up! You got a pretty thick accent. / I am represent Japan Man. / You afraid, Ray Smuckel? / Who's Japan Man? Did we party? / You not want make enemy Japan Man. / I ain't wanna make enemies with anybody! What's this about? / Japan Man sell all the weed... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04042005 |
| Achewood - April 4, 2005 | Herro. This ah Ray Smuckel? / Yeah. Speak up! You got a pretty thick accent. / I am represent Japan Man. / You afraid, Ray Smuckel? / Who's Japan Man? Did we party? / You not want make enemy Japan Man. / I ain't wanna make enemies with anybody! What's this about? / Japan Man sell all the weed... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04042005 |
| Achewood - April 4, 2005 | Herro. This ah Ray Smuckel? / Yeah. Speak up! You got a pretty thick accent. / I am represent Japan Man. / You afraid, Ray Smuckel? / Who's Japan Man? Did we party? / You not want make enemy Japan Man. / I ain't wanna make enemies with anybody! What's this about? / Japan Man sell all the weed... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04042005 |
| Achewood - April 4, 2007 | [[Téodor is filming Rod as Ray spectates.]]
/ Ray: Yeah, man, yeah. I like how that leg dangles off the bed. It's like, "Where does that leg go?" / [[On the bed, Rod strikes a pose.]]
/ Ray: [[off]] Nice, man. Now gimme something else. Take me back to Broadway, baby. / [[Rod lies on his back, arm hanging... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04042007 |
| Achewood - April 4, 2008 | [[Cornelius is typing on his laptop computer.]] / < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04042008 |
| Achewood - April 5, 2002 | Lie Bot: So, what can I get you, Chucklebot? / Chucklebot: DO YOU HAVE ANY OUZO / Lie Bot: Ouzo? Who drinks ouzo? / Chucklebot: I SAW MATT DAMON DRINKING SOME IN A MAGAZINE / Lie Bot: Who? / Chucklebot: YOU KNOW, MATT DAMON. HE'S PRETTY COOL / Chucklebot: I HOPE HE POSES NUDE SOMETIME / Lie... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04052002 |
| Achewood - April 5, 2004 | [[Plush Philippe is at The Scotch Whiskey Heritage Center]] / [[Plush Philippe gestures to a sign reading "WE SELL MARS BARS IN BATTER"]] / [[Plush Philippe is on a railing]] / [[Plush Philippe is in front of a sign reading "Royal Mile"]] / {{Where will he wind up tomorrow?}} http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04052004 |
| Achewood - April 5, 2005 | [[Left Side]]
/ Map of Achewood Underground
/ Survey 187-B-109298 C.H. Mohr & Assoc. sn.1 of 7 / Hidden Hills Select Shoppes
/ 1. Napoleon's
/ 2. Schumacher
/ 3. Battori Uomo
/ 4. Soap
/ 5. Rive Gauche Brasserie
/ 6. A Dansk
/ 7. The Chophouse
/ 8. Humidor
/ 9 Gèneve Chocolaière
/ 10. Port au Fine
/ 11. Quie?
/ 12.... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04052005 |
| Achewood - April 5, 2006 | [[Phillipe is walking towards Vlad, bald at the moment. A couch is behind Phillipe]]
/ Phillipe: Saaaay, why's the couch in the front hallway? Crazy!
/ Vlad: They are gettink rid of it!
/ [[Phillipe is confused]]
/ Phillipe: What do you mean? It's going to someone else's house?
/ [[Vlad is doing a hand motion... http://achewood.com/?date=04052006 |
| Achewood - April 5, 2006 | [[Philippe is walking towards Vlad, bald at the moment. A couch is behind Philippe]]
/ Philippe: Saaaay, why's the couch in the front hallway? Crazy!
/ Vlad: They are gettink rid of it! / [[Philippe is confused]]
/ Philippe: What do you mean? It's going to someone else's house? / [[Vlad is doing a hand... http://achewood.com/?date=04052006 |
| Achewood - April 5, 2006 | [[Philippe walks past the couch. Vlad is there.]]
/ Philippe: Saaaay, why's the couch in the front hallway? Crazy!
/ Vlad: They are gettink rid of it! / Philippe: What do you mean? It's going to someone else's house? / Vlad: Goes on trash heap today! Bulldozer make it into total puckey!
/ [[Philippe... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04052006 |
| Achewood - April 5, 2007 | Teador: Ok, I finished shooting his "top" footage. He's taking a shower. / Ray: Nice. Alright, time to film me bustin' through the wall and yellin' at him. Then you can edit this all together, year? / Ray: s-sup (slurping martini)
/ Teador: Right. Now go into the next room, and turn out the lights before... http://achewood.com/?date=04052007 |
| Achewood - April 5, 2007 | [[Ray is sipping a cocktail and Téodor is still holding his camera.]]
/ Téodor: Okay, I finished shooting his "top" footage. He's taking a shower. / Ray: Nice. Alright, time to film me bustin' through the wall and yellin' at him. Then you can edit this all together, yeah? / Téodor: Right. Now go into... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04052007 |
| Achewood - April 5, 2007 | [[Ray is sipping a cocktail and Téodor is still holding his camera.]]
/ Téodor: Okay, I finished shooting his "top" footage. He's taking a shower. / Ray: Nice. Alright, time to film me bustin' through the wall and yellin' at him. Then you can edit this all together, yeah? / Téodor: Right. Now go into... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04052007 |
| Philippe and the Hibbies | {{The comic comprises four color photographs spread rakishly and captioned by Philippe; descriptions are row-major, left-to-right, top-to-bottom order}} / [[The first photograph shows Philippe (in plush form, as for all his photographic appearances; while in Britain he wears a red scarf with white tassels)... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04062004 |
| Philippe and the Hibbies | {{The comic comprises four color photographs spread rakishly and captioned by Philippe; descriptions are row-major, left-to-right, top-to-bottom order}} / [[The first photograph shows Philippe (in plush form, as for all his photographic appearances; while in Britain he wears a red scarf with white tassels)... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04062004 |
| Achewood - April 6, 2005 | [[Interior, the Onstad house - Chris and Phillipe are shown talking.]]
/ Chris: Did you do a good job of babysitting the baby, Phillipe? / Phillipe: Yes! And I wrote down everything she did so you would have an idea! / Chris: Thank you! Was she noisy much? / [[Phillipe hands a sheet of paper to Chris.]]
/ Phillipe:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04062005 |
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