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Achewood - October 5, 2004 [[Molly brushing her teeth]] / Molly: How did you sleep last night? / [[Roast Beef brushing his teeth]] / Roast Beef: Man the dogs next door yelped for an hour after that ambulance went by at 5am / <> / Roast Beef: Then lot twelve's hot tub gurgled and spat between 6:30 and 7:30 since it is low...
Achewood - October 5, 2004 [[Molly brushing her teeth]] / Molly: How did you sleep last night? / [[Roast Beef brushing his teeth]] / Roast Beef: Man the dogs next door yelped for an hour after that ambulance went by at 5am / <> / Roast Beef: Then lot twelve's hot tub gurgled and spat between 6:30 and 7:30 since it is low...
Achewood - October 5, 2004 [[Molly brushing her teeth]] / Molly: How did you sleep last night? / [[Roast Beef brushing his teeth]] / Roast Beef: Man the dogs next door yelped for an hour after that ambulance went by at 5am / <> / Roast Beef: Then lot twelve's hot tub gurgled and spat between 6:30 and 7:30 since it is low...
Achewood - October 5, 2005 <> / [[Top-down view of a doormat with an envelope resting on it. A pair of sandaled feet stand by the doormat. The doormat has a jazzy ``Hi'' emblazoned.]] / [[The feet belong to Molly; she looks back over her shoulder into the house]] / Molly: Beef?! Letter for you! No return address! / [[Roast...
Achewood - October 5, 2007 [[Long shot of Welcome to Las Vegas sign]] / Todd: You gotta treat me like a star! You gotta treat me like a god-damned star if I'm gonna talk to you Ray! / Ray: Cool, Todd. Let's go someplace we can chat. / SOON. / [[Shot of sign for Fiesta Max! Casino]] / [[Todd and Ray are sitting inside with menus...
Achewood § October 5, 2009 Todd: An-an-an I made like five hunnid' bucks las' week! Turns out these chicks never want their money back after I touch it! Total brain thing! / Téodor: Well, the problem is that you're gonna get a bad reputation, and women are eventually gonna stop calling. / Todd: Wrong again, smock-o! It ain't...
Achewood - October 6, 2003 Pat: Uh Ray I'm feelin' a little dizzy / Ray: It's just nerves, dogg! Get on out that stage and be born ANEW! / Pat: Uh... what's going on here / Could someone tell me what's goin' on / Critic one: A leitmotif of identity and desperation / Critic two: Brilliant. / Nolan: Smacks of Kerouac and Kierkegaard. / Pat:...
Achewood - October 6, 2003 Pat: Uh Ray I'm feelin' a little dizzy / Ray: It's just nerves, dogg! Get on out that stage and be born ANEW! / Pat: Uh... what's going on here / Could someone tell me what's goin' on / Critic one: A leitmotif of identity and desperation / Critic two: Brilliant. / Nolan: Smacks of Kerouac and Kierkegaard. / Pat:...
Achewood - October 6, 2003 Pat: Uh Ray I'm feelin' a little dizzy / Ray: It's just nerves, dogg! Get on out that stage and be born ANEW! / Pat: Uh... what's going on here / Could someone tell me what's goin' on / Critic one: A leitmotif of identity and desperation / Critic two: Brilliant. / Nolan: Smacks of Kerouac and Kierkegaard. / Pat:...
 
Achewood - October 6, 2004 [[Intertitle reads achewood PRESENTS --- The 2005 United States Vice Presidential Debate --- Vice President Dick Cheney (r) vs. Sen. John Edwards (D)]] / [[Téodor, dressed in a suit, sits behind a placard reading EDWARDS]] / Téodor: Mr. Vice President, you have a remarkable voting record in Congress....
Achewood - October 6, 2004 [[Silent film intertitle-style text reading: achewood PRESENTS --- The 2005 United States Vice Presidential Debate --- Vice President Dick Cheney (R) vs. Sen. John Edwards (D)]] / [[Téodor, dressed in a suit, sits behind a placard reading EDWARDS]] / Téodor: Mr. Vice President, you have a remarkable...
Achewood - October 6, 2004 [[Intertitle reads achewood PRESENTS --- The 2005 United States Vice Presidential Debate --- Vice President Dick Cheney (r) vs. Sen. John Edwards (D)]] / [[Téodor, dressed in a suit, sits behind a placard reading EDWARDS]] / Téodor: Mr. Vice President, you have a remarkable voting record in Congress....
Achewood - October 6, 2005 NOK TIP TAP / Hello / Hold on wait is this based on religions / Sir, if you have a moment I would like to sit and speak with you about the faith of the Jehovah's Witnesses. / Okay knock yourself out / Thank you, I - / uf / I...I'm Milklin. I'm not too good at this. / MILKLIN / WITNESS ONCE RESCINDED / Milklin! / He's...
Achewood - October 6, 2006 [[The strange man is standing in the doorway. Ray and Bensington Butters are standing outside of it.]] / Man: Did you just come in? / Ray: I...I ain't really sure. / Man: Ah, good. My new security system's working. I paid dearly for it. I wish I hadn't, but there you go. The man was inflexible. / Ray:...
Achewood ? October 6, 2008 Lyle: Halloween's comin' up, squirt--- you got a costume picked out? / Philippe: Oh! Yes! I'm going to be a princess! / Lyle: A boy princess? How's that work? Like, little underpants with a banana in the front? / [[A thought bubble forms over Philippe's head]] / [[Philippe wearing underpants with...
Achewood - October 7, 2002 [[Lie Bot and Phillipe are face to face, Lie Bot has hands extended, Phillipe looks very concerned]] Lie Bot: So I guess you're going to have to get a job now, Phillipe! / Phillipe: Why do I have to get a job, Lie Bot? / Lie Bot: To take care of the baby! Babies are very expensive! / Phillipe: [[small...
Achewood - October 7, 2002 [[Lie Bot and Phillipe are face to face, Lie Bot has hands extended, Phillipe looks very concerned]] Lie Bot: So I guess you're going to have to get a job now, Phillipe! / Phillipe: Why do I have to get a job, Lie Bot? / Lie Bot: To take care of the baby! Babies are very expensive! / Phillipe: [[small...
 
Animalicious [[Philippe, Téodor, Roast Beef, and Lyle are in the crowd at the rock festival]] / Téodor: Pat's dying up there! We gotta help him! / Téodor: Lyle! Philippe! Beef! Follow me! / [[Pat is on stage, scratching his head]] / Pat: Thank you...uh...those were the opening notes to Day Tripper. / Does anybody...have...
Achewood - October 7, 2004 [[Philippe in bed]] / [[Philippe wakes up]] / Philippe: I should start a newspaper! / Philippe: Lyle, do you want to write for my newspaper? / Lyle: Shaddup, you! / [[Philippe and Roast Beef on the phone]] / Philippe: Hi Roast Beef! Do you want to write for my newspaper? / Roast Beef: Sure little guy / [[Philippe...
Achewood - October 7, 2005 The Philippe Times / Back Page: Just the Animal Facts, Ma'am! / Vol 7 No. 15 / Animal Facts! / by Philippe, editor-in-chief! / [[Small image of Philippe with his mouth full]] / [[Caption: Wasn't done chewing!]] / DID YOU KNOW... / They say it's bad luck if a black cat crosses your path, but what if a white...
Achewood - Someone is at the door - October 8, 2001 <> / <> / Téodor: Hey, someone's at the door. / [[They look out a window]] / Téodor: Stanley Tucci! / Cornelius Bear: Oh man, too bad the humans aren't here. They loved him in Big Night. / Cornelius Bear: There he goes. / [[Philippe waves]] / Philippe: Bye bye Stanley!
Achewood - October 8, 2001 <> / <> / Téodor: Hey, someone's at the door. / [[They look out a window]] / Téodor: Stanley Tucci! / Cornelius: Oh man, too bad the humans aren't here. They loved him in Big Night. / Cornelius: There he goes. / Philippe: Bye bye Stanley!
Achewood - October 8, 2002 [[Roast Beef and Philippe standing and talking. Roast Beef holds a lit cigarette. Philipe appears downcast.]] / Roast Beef: What's the matter Philippe why you so down / Phillippe: I have to get married tomorrow, Roast Beef. / [[Roast Beef takes a drag on his cigarette.]] / Roast Beef: Oh yeah Lie Bot...
Achewood - October 8, 2002 [[Roast Beef and Philippe standing and talking. Roast Beef holds a lit cigarette. Philipe appears downcast.]] / Roast Beef: What's the matter Philippe why you so down / Phillippe: I have to get married tomorrow, Roast Beef. / [[Roast Beef takes a drag on his cigarette.]] / Roast Beef: Oh yeah Lie Bot...
Achewood - October 8, 2002 [[Roast Beef and Philippe standing and talking. Roast Beef holds a lit cigarette. Philipe appears downcast.]] / Roast Beef: What's the matter Philippe why you so down / Phillippe: I have to get married tomorrow, Roast Beef. / [[Roast Beef takes a drag on his cigarette.]] / Roast Beef: Oh yeah Lie Bot...
 
Achewood - October 8, 2003 [[Roast Beef is at a keyboard, dressed like an 80s rock star]] / Roast Beef: Oh yes people / We got Teodor on lead guitar / [[Spotlight on Teodor playing guitar]] / Roast Beef: Listen / He is hitting some excellent guitar notes right now / [[Closeup of Roast Beef at his keyboard]] / Roast Beef: Aww yeah...
Achewood - October 8, 2004 [[Roast Beef walking past a brick building]] / [[Roast Beef walking to "the Smoke"]] / [[Roast Beef entering the Smoke]] / [[Roast Beef, Emeril and Spongebath at the bar]] / Roast Beef: I think me and Molly gonna get our own place / Emeril: It is a fanceyful notion to make such steps as lead you to...
Achewood - October 8, 2007 [[Ray and Todd are sitting in the Fiesta Max!, Ray looking depressed and Todd looking extremely tense]] / Ray: {{thought-balloon}} How do you tell a cokehead that he ain't famous? Seems impossible... I... I got to get him on TV quick if I'm gonna cash on his crash! We ain't got no time for lunch... / Todd:...
Achewood § October 8, 2008 Lyle: GAH! If those clowns win the election I'm movin' to Canada! / Teodor: Everybody always says that. What an empty thread. Why Canada? Why not Tokyo? Why not Adelaide? / Lyle: Well, for starters, there's no water between here and Canada, unless you count the water you're gonna break when you're...
Achewood - ca. 1902 - October 9, 2001 [[Mr. Bear and Lyle wear bowler hats and period clothing.]] / Narrator: {achewood, ca .1902} / Lyle: What kind of coffin do you not care the price of? / Mr. Bear: I cannot begin to guess. / Lyle: Your own! / Mr. Bear: Oh! That is truly the limit. / [[Mr. Bear has his hat in his hand]] / Mr. Bear: My hat...
Achewood - October 9, 2001 [[Cornelius and Lyle wear bowler hats and period clothing.]] / {achewood, ca .1902} / Lyle: What kind of coffin do you not care the price of? / Cornelius: I cannot begin to guess. / Lyle: Your own! / Cornelius: Oh! That is truly the limit. / Cornelius: My hat is off to you for that wonderful joke. / Lyle:...
 
Achewood - October 9, 2002 [[Caption: THE CLIENT PRESENTATION]] / [[RAY (wearing a business suit) sits at a board room table opposite TODD SQUIRREL]] / Todd: Frikkin' hacks! / Ray: Excuse me, Todd? / [[Todd holds up a brochure, on which the word 'TODD' is printed with stylized wings]] / Todd: This l-l-logo's terrible! I ain't payin'...
Achewood - October 9, 2002 [[Caption: THE CLIENT PRESENTATION]] / [[RAY (wearing a dress shirt and tie) sits at a board room table opposite TODD SQUIRREL]] / Todd: Frikkin' hacks! / Ray: Excuse me, Todd? / [[Todd holds up a brochure, on which the word 'TODD' is printed with stylized wings]] / Todd: This l-l-logo's terrible! I ain't...
Pat's Back [[MEANWHILE, AT THE HOSPITAL]] / Dr. Andretti: Hi Ray. Sorry to keep you waiting all this time. / Ray: Oh, it's okay Dr. Andretti. I've just been pluckin' out my pubic hair and putting it in this Pepsi can. / Dr. Andretti: Nasty. Anyway, we were able to stabilize Pat with defibrillation. / Ray: That...
Achewood - October 9, 2006 Ray: So, like, what's it you do here? / Lonis: Damn it all! Is my sign out again? I paid dearly for it, but I can't watch it every moment of the day. My business would crumble! You don't know this from the way I seem to just go about answering doors, but I'm a very busy man. / Lonis: Hey! HEY! / [[The...
Achewood - October 9, 2006 Ray: So, like, what's it you do, here? / Lonis: Damn it all! Is my sign out again? I paid dearly for it, but I can't watch it every moment of the day. My business would crumble! You don't know this from the way I seem to just go around answering doors, but I'm a very busy man. / Lonis: Hey! HEY! / [[The...
Achewood - October 9, 2007 [[Cornelius is sitting in an easy chair, reading, a martini on an end-table next to him]] / Ray: Alright Connie, I need a Todd bio written. You think you got two hundred pages in you? / Cornelius: With bright, spacious typography, "wink-nudge" margins, and pull quotes that run to three pages, such an...
a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10092009">http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10092009 [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
 
Bedtime Achewood - October 10, 2001 [[Cornelius, Phillipe and Teodor are in bed]] / <> / Cornelius: Good night, everyone. / Philippe, Téodor: Goodnight! / [[completely black panel]] / [[black panel with visible word bubbles]] / Philippe: Good Morning! / Téodor: No, Philippe! Too soon!
Bedtime Achewood - October 10, 2001 [[Cornelius, Phillipe and Teodor are in bed]] / <> / Cornelius: Good night, everyone. / Philippe, Téodor: Goodnight! / [[completely black panel]] / [[black panel with visible word bubbles]] / Philippe: Good Morning! / Téodor: No, Philippe! Too soon!
Bedtime Achewood - October 10, 2001 [[Cornelius, Phillipe and Teodor are in bed]] / <> / Cornelius: Good night, everyone. / Philippe, Téodor: Goodnight! / [[completely black panel]] / [[black panel with visible word bubbles]] / Philippe: Good Morning! / Téodor: No, Philippe! Too soon!
Bedtime Achewood - October 10, 2001 [[Cornelius, Phillipe and Teodor are in bed]] / <> / Cornelius: Good night, everyone. / Philippe, Téodor: Goodnight! / [[completely black panel]] / [[black panel with visible word bubbles]] / Philippe: Good Morning! / Téodor: No, Philippe! Too soon!
Bedtime Achewood - October 10, 2001 [[Cornelius, Phillipe and Teodor are in bed]] / <> / Cornelius: Good night, everyone. / Philippe, Téodor: Goodnight! / [[completely black panel]] / [[black panel with visible word bubbles]] / Philippe: Good Morning! / Téodor: No, Philippe! Too soon!
Bedtime Achewood - October 10, 2001 [[Cornelius, Phillipe and Teodor are in bed]] / <> / Cornelius: Good night, everyone. / Philippe, Téodor: Goodnight! / [[completely black panel]] / [[black panel with visible word bubbles]] / Philippe: Good Morning! / Téodor: No, Philippe! Too soon!
Philippe's Wedding Day [[Beef and Phillipe are standing outside, Beef wearing a shirt and tie, Phillippe in a tuxedo]] / Beef: Well I guess today is the big day Phillipe! / Phillippe: How come there aren't any people at my wedding? / Beef: What do you mean I see all kinds of folks / [[The backyard is empty]] / Phillippe:...
Achewood - October 10, 2003 Oh, hold on! I forgot to explain how this all works (How Achewood works). I promise it's all quite simple . . . maybe the main thing to remember is that: if Ray or Lyle wants a submarine sandwich then they head to the "Underground." Hey! Underground: subterranean landscape of animal-run storefronts etc....
Achewood - October 10, 2005 [[Roast Beef's front door. Beef is wearing trunks, and Milklin is sitting on the ground, feeling down]] / Roast Beef: Huh Milklin so like you been havin' a rough time of getting people to be Jehovah's Witnesses / Milklin: Trina and Mr. Dan actually left the congregation after my mini-sermon on saving money...
Achewood - October 10, 2005 [[Roast Beef's front door. Beef is wearing trunks, and Milklin is sitting on the ground, feeling down]] / Roast Beef: Huh Milklin so like you been havin' a rough time of getting people to be Jehovah's Witnesses / Milklin: Trina and Mr. Dan actually left the congregation after my mini-sermon on saving money...
Achewood - October 10, 2005 [[Roast Beef's front door. Beef is wearing trunks, and Milklin is sitting on the ground, feeling down]] / Roast Beef: Huh Milklin so like you been havin' a rough time of getting people to be Jehovah's Witnesses / Milklin: Trina and Mr. Dan actually left the congregation after my mini-sermon on saving money...
Achewood - Philippe has a Walkman - October 11, 2001 [[Philippe has a Walkman. Téodor and Mr. Bear watch]] / Téodor: What's Philippe listening to? / [[Mr. Bear reaches for the casette case]] / Mr. Bear: "Welcome to the Self-Guided Tour of the Monterey Bay Aquarium."
Achewood - Philippe has a Walkman - October 11, 2001 [[Philippe is listening to a Walkman. Téodor and Cornelius Bear watch]] / Téodor: What's Philippe listening to? / [[Cornelius reaches for the casette case]] / Cornelius: "Welcome to the Self-Guided Tour of the Monterey Bay Aquarium."
Achewood - October 11, 2001 [[Philippe is listening to a Walkman]] / Téodor: What's Philippe listening to? / [[Cornelius reaches for the casette case]] / [[Cornelius reads from the case]] / Cornelius: "Welcome to the Self-Guided Tour of the Monterey Bay Aquarium."
 

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