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Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 08 / 2006 [[THE HOUSE (Bedroom)]] / Alarm Clock: MAWT MAWT MAWT MAWT / NARRATOR: Your brain goes through 3 stages when it hears an alarm clock. Stage 1: utter shock / GRAMP: GAH! ...Whuzza?? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Alarm Clock: Mawt mawt mawt mawt / NARRATOR: Stage 2: your brain tries to tune out the noise, and allow you to keep sleeping / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / NARRATOR: Stage 3: SUCCESS! The sound has been incorporated into an already-running dream / GRAMP: Sing me more love songs of your youth, Heidi Klum. / Heidi Klum: MAWT MAW MA
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060808.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 09 / 2006 [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: Sit, Oso! Sit! / OSO: HYPE! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: No, no…sit. SIT. Not speak. Sit. Sit. SIT. / OSO: hype hype hype hy hy / / [[THE HOUSE]] / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: Speak! / OSO: HYPE! / GRAMP: G’dog.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060809.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 10 / 2006 [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: I am no king, no gilgamesh, yet I too have needs of the flesh. / / [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: Specifically, a kingly meal. ...But not of eel, or veal, or seal. / / [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: MY kingly ransom is this wish: INTO MY MOUTH, PLEASE SEND A FISH. / / [[THE POND]] / / [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: Man. Mother Nature is a harsh poetry critic. / SHELDON: Gilgamesh?
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060810.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 11 / 2006 [[Living Room]] / ARTHUR: Hey. What's the difference between a goblin and a hobgoblin? / GRAMP: One has a limp. / / [[Living Room]] / / [[Living Room]] / ARTHUR: SHEESH. ...how you come up with lies so fast? / GRAMP: Got the mind of a ninja. Body of a manatee, but the mind of a ninja.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060811.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 12 / 2006 [[Library]] / sign: LIBRARY / librarian: Sir? Interested in signing up the lad for our summer reading program? / / [[Library]] / librarian: The goal is to get kids away from tv, video games and mp3 players. With reading! / For four weeks, all our little contestants read as much as they can! / / [[Library]] / GRAMP: ...And what does the winner get? / librarian: Choice of a 13" tv, Playstation, or iPod.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060812.html
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 13 / 2006 [[THE HOUSE]] / FLACO: SQUEE! / GRAMP: Aaaah! What happened? What'd I do?? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Oh my gosh... his tail! You leaned on his tail! / GRAMP: It... fell off... / FLACO: Squee! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / FLACO: Squee! / ARTHUR: He says that happens. They pop right off. / GRAMP: And wiggle around? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Yeah. They do that. / GRAMP: For how long? / FLACO: Squee! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: What's he saying? 3 minutes? Or 3 hours? / FLACO: Squee! SQUEE! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: Or... is that gesture not a number? / FLACO: Squee! / ARTHUR: Hey! Ha ha who's up for ice cream?
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060813.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 14 / 2006 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: Oh man little dude. I’m so sorry about your tail. / / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: That’s gotta be just the worst thing that could happen to a lizard. / / FLACO: Squee. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: But I’m here for you, champ. Whatever you need, I - / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: LORD that thing is freakin’ me out. / FLACO: Squee...
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060814.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 15 / 2006 [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: It's fascinating that Flaco's tail is still moving. / GRAMP: It just keeps flopping and flailing around. ...Even without signals from the brain. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Not unlike a white guy on the dance floor. / GRAMP: Not unlike.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060815.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 17 / 2006 [[THE HOUSE]] / FLACO: Squee / ARTHUR: Flaco wants you to know that his tail is growing back. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / FLACO: Squee. Squee. / ARTHUR: And he wants you to know that he's trying to take the high road about the accident. THE TAIL GREW RIGHT BACK, AFTER ALL. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / FLACO: Squee squee squee / ARTHUR: But in that vein, he WOULD like me to point at your hair and laugh for a bit.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060817.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 18 / 2006 [[THE HOUSE (Bedroom)]] / NARRATOR: How to survive hellishly hot summer nights / NARRATOR: 1.) Sleep naked, with the thinnest sheet imaginable / / [[THE HOUSE]] / NARRATOR: 2.) Drink ice water, and turn on every fan you've ever owned / / [[Store]] / NARRATOR: 3.) Proceed to a 24-hour grocery store, and hang out in the frozen foods section. / GRAMP: Looking for the frozen peas? / Man (Generic): I'm good.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060818.html
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 19 / 2006 [[THE HOUSE (Bedroom)]] / ARTHUR: Is... is too hot. / GRAMP: I know. I can't sleep either. / / [[THE HOUSE (Bedroom)]] / ARTHUR: Is too hot for sleep! Is too hot to stay 'wake! Is like hell! Is like hell upon the earth! Is no good. / / [[THE HOUSE (Bedroom)]] / GRAMP: ...Why do you sound Bulgarian when you're hot? / ARTHUR: Is too hot to make complete sentence.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060819.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 20 / 2006 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: So we have 12 planets now? / GRAMP: Apparently. They changed the definition of what a "planet" is. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: And they can do that? They can just decide to re-decide what a planet is? / GRAMP: Guess so. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: And that's science?? That's not science! That's just people making up new definitions to fit majority opinions! And with nerdy astronomers, who knows where that could lead! / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / Nerd 1: All those in favor of naming Carmen Electra a heavenly body? / Nerd 2: Aye! / nerd 3: Aye! / Crowd: Aye! Aye! / Nerd 4: ...When are we voting on my motion to rename Neptune the "Sith Homeworld"?
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060820.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 22 / 2006 [[Store]] / GRAMP: So lessee... we still need lettuce / ARTHUR: Lettuce entertain you! Lettuce make you smile! / / [[Store]] / / [[Store]] / GRAMP: ...And celery. / ARTHUR: Get down in the celery, Ma. There's a twister comin'! / / [[Store]] / / [[Store]] / GRAMP: ...And "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" / ARTHUR: Damn.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060822.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 23 / 2006 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Dr. Z (Dieter Zietsche, Daimler Chrysler CEO): Ya, hello. Are you za child who made fun of my Chrysler commercials? / SHELDON: DR.Z?? / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Dr. Z (Dieter Zietsche, Daimler Chrysler CEO): Mein Gott! Please don't use zat name! It is such hack lingo dreamed up by a mid-level ad exec! "Dr. Z! Dr. Z! Za kids vill love it!" / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: Um... so... why did you EVER agree to make such lame commercials? / Dr. Z (Dieter Zietsche, Daimler Chrysler CEO): Za Chrysler cars! Zey... zey are such crud! My German sense of quality has been totally watered down!
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060823.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 24 / 2006 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: Dr. Z? You Ok? / Dr. Z (Dieter Zietsche, Daimler Chrysler CEO): Why, Sheldon? Why did Mercedes buy out Chrysler? What were we thinking? / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Dr. Z (Dieter Zietsche, Daimler Chrysler CEO): I mean, yä, Chrysler has some good cars, but we're Mercedes, you know?? Mercedes! / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: C'mon champ… surely it's not that ba — / Dr. Z (Dieter Zietsche, Daimler Chrysler CEO): It's like za prom queen asking za fat, sweaty guy to za dance! It makes no sense!
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060824.html
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 26 / 2006 [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Hey Sheldon! Come check out this video I put up on Youtube! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / / [[THE HOUSE]] / / [[THE HOUSE]] / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Laptop: Ow! Need more butter... / SHELDON: ...It's just you repeatedly trying to stick a magic marker up your nose. / ARTHUR: Yet eventually succeeding!
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060826.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 27 / 2006 [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: What do you have against YouTube? / SHELDON: Nothing. It's a brilliant business. / / [[THE POND]] / SHELDON: But if I type in a search for a "beautiful, life-changing piece of film," YouTube has nothing. / / [[THE POND]] / SHELDON: Yet when I type "fat guy getting kicked into the groin," it comes up with 32,000 videos. User-created content always seems to come out so... I don't know... lowest-common denominator / / [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: Yeah... maybe... / / [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: Still... did you see the one of the fat goalie catching it in the business? / SHELDON: I think we're done here.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060827.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 28 / 2006 NARRATOR: A Limerick: / Here is the thing about YouTube: / You say you won't get caught, / ...but you do. / ARTHUR: C'mmmooooonnn... / / [[The House]] / NARRATOR: You watch one little clip / of a guy getting tripped... / SHELDON: Heh. Heh, heh, heh... / / [[The House]] / NARRATOR: Then you'll watch 90 more right away, too... / SHELDON: Here's ...here's a cat that flushes a toilet. / ARTHUR: Dude, it's past midnight.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060828.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 29 / 2006 [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: What's it gonna say on my tombstone when I die? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: I never climbed Everest. I never sailed the world. I never saved someone from fire. ...What does a guy like ME get? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: "He lived life dangerously ...with saturated fats." / GRAMP: Yeah. Pretty much.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060829.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 30 / 2006 [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: I've never been afraid of death, but I am afraid of dying. Will it hurt? How will it happen? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Catherine Zeta-Jones. / GRAMP: What? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Death by hug-a-lanche. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: Yes, well, your ideal death isn't helping me at the moment / ARTHUR: Or by smooch attack. I'm fine either way.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060830.html
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 31 / 2006 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: There's a new super-villain in town... THE TROUBLER! / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: Like Spiderman, THE TROUBLER can sense trouble before it happens! / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: But his powers are....weak. He can only sense mediocre problems. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: That makes no sense. How is that even a super-villain power? / SHELDON: A cake has been left in the oven a smidge too long! Its edges are crisping! THE TROUBLER!
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060831.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from September / 01 / 2006 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: Super-villain THE TROUBLER can sense trouble! Mediocre trouble! / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: ...And you! You have a harsh fate coming, my friend! / ARTHUR: ...Really? What? / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: Tomorrow! When you go to pour! You won't have quite enough milk for your cereal! THE TROUBLER! / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: Well that's not THAT big a dea- / SHELDON: You'll consider using water! THE TROUBLER!
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060901.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from September / 02 / 2006 [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: Super villain THE TROUBLER can sense trouble before it happens. MEDIOCRE trouble! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: You! You might want to consider switching to a softer toothbrush to avoid irritating your gums! THE TROUBLER! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: What is he on about? / ARTHUR: ...On about sixteen Pepsis, I'd imagine. / SHELDON: Somewhere! Somewhere a fridge is slightly ajar! THE TROUBLER!
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060902.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from September / 03 / 2006 [[Living Room]] / SHELDON: Arch Super-Villian The Troubler / can sense trouble. MEDIOCRE Trouble. / / [[Living Room]] / SHELDON: You! ...you have a low level leak behind the sink. You'll want to fix that in the next few weeks before you get mold damage! The Troubler! / / [[Living Room]] / SHELDON: Also your left-front tire is wearing out faster than the others. You'll want to rotate them in the next few months! The Troubler! / / [[Living Room]] / SHELDON: THE TROUBLER! / / [[Living Room]] / / [[Living Room]] / GRAMP: ...meh. / SHELDON: Ahh! The Troubler has met his match. / ARTHUR: ...The indifference of old age?
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060903.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from September / 04 / 2006 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Your reign of semi-terror is over, Troubler, for THE DUCK is here! / SHELDON: Ha! You can't stop me! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Not by myself, I can't. But I have my trusty sidekick with me... / / ARTHUR: STICKBOY! / SHELDON: Stickbo-? Oh! Hey Dante. / DANTE: 'Sup.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060904.html
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from September / 05 / 2006 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: The Troubler confuses his enemies with fear! ...Fear of small, inconsequential problems!! / DANTE: Not if I and my stick have anything to say about it! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: Waitaminute, waitaminute... hold up... that stick looks REALLY dry. You're gonna get a splinter from that thing... / DANTE: Oh shoot... really? / ARTHUR: Aigh! No Stickboy, no! Plug your ears to his siren-song of low-level concerns!!
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060905.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from September / 06 / 2006 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Stickboy! Quickly - to the Duckmobile! / DANTE: Um, I think I'm done playin'. I'm kind of bored with this. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Bored? But our fair city cries out for its hero! / DANTE: Well... its hero feels like playing wiffle ball / SHELDON: Oo! Wiffle ball! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: C'mon you guys! I wanna keep playing! / DANTE: Nah. I'm done. / SHELDON: Me too. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: The Duckmobile sits idling in a KFC parking lot. The hero's path is a lonely one.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060906.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from September / 07 / 2006 [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Whoa! Easy there, champ! You're chowin' down quite a bit for a man on a diet. / GRAMP: It's ok. These are a diet food. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Those are NOT a diet food. / GRAMP: Oh yeah, Mister Sarcastic? Then why are they called "Wheat THINS"? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: Oh. 'Cause they're THIN. Damn you, clever marketing. ...They should make "Brownie Thins." / ARTHUR: Indeed.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060907.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from September / 08 / 2006 [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: AIGH! My computer somehow lost, like, 300 of my files!! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: But... you had it backed up ...right? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / / [[Space]]
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060908.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from September / 09 / 2006 [[The House]] / ARTHUR: Is it ironic that the IKEA catalog is ten times sturdier than their actual furniture?
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060909.html
 

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