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| Sheldon Comics comic strip from December / 26 / 2002 | [[Sheldonsoft]] / ARTHUR: Hey, boss. Happy Friday-Eve!! / SHELDON: Happy WHAT? "Friday-Eve"? / / [[Sheldonsoft]] / / [[Sheldonsoft]] / SHELDON: That's the lamest thing ever said. / ARTHUR: YES. YES, I SUPPOSE IT IS. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/021226.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from December / 27 / 2002 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / DANTE: A constantly dripping faucet. / SHELDON: Fingernails on a chalkboard. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / DANTE: An animal crying out in pain. / SHELDON: Madonna's fake English accent. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / DANTE: Oooo... Yeah, that wins. / SHELDON: "Worst sound in the world" contest. / ARTHUR: 'Figured. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/021227.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from December / 28 / 2002 | [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Oh, don't impose your facist definitions on me. Technically, I DID "throw away" my banana peels... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/021228.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from December / 30 / 2002 | [[Playground]] / SHELDON: I'm gonna make a good start on the new year by setting up a charitable foundation. / ARTHUR: Wazzat? / / [[Playground]] / SHELDON: A foundation lets me use my money for good causes. I've already started on the first one. Come see... / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / sign: Coming Soon!
/ SHELDON MEMORIAL ART GALLERY / SHELDON: We'll be changing the "memorial" bit. / ARTHUR: I was gonna say... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/021230.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from December / 31 / 2002 | SHELDON: Hey, Dante! How'd you like a job as an ART BUYER for my new museum? / DANTE: ME? But I don't know anything about art. ...You should ask Arthur. / / SHELDON: I can't. He's being weird about it. ...He's got visions of being an artist himself. / / ARTHUR: $63,000 and it's yours. / SHELDON: I said NO. / DANTE: Is... Is that... made of BUTTER? http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/021231.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 01 / 2003 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / DANTE: Sheldon hired me to buy art for his new museum. He's gonna let me write million-dollar checks. / ARTHUR: So I heard. / / DANTE: The funny thing is...I don't even know how to write a check! / / (SOUND FX): poink! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: "A-R-T-H-U..." http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030101.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 02 / 2003 | [[Museum]] / GRAMP: You hired DANTE to buy art for your museum?? / SHELDON: Yep! / / [[Museum]] / GRAMP: But why didn't you hire an art professional? / SHELDON: ...let's just say he was willing to work with my artistic sensibilities. / / [[Museum]] / DANTE: ...where'd you want the klingon statue? / SHELDON: Lobby. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030102.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 03 / 2003 | DANTE: Like you asked, I spent the day at the library learning about art. / SHELDON: Great! So now you can spot the difference between cubism, realism, Gothic and abstract art! / / / / DANTE: Uh...I'm just gonna give that a big enthusiastic "Yes". / SHELDON: Back to the library, bub. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030103.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 04 / 2003 | [[Art Museum]] / ARTHUR: So when the media asks about your museum's new JACKSON POLLOCK painting you'll say... / SHELDON: ..."Believe it or not, this thing is supposed to be serious art." / DANTE: No, NO, NO! "We are PROUD to add this groundbreaking piece to our colection." http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030104.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 06 / 2003 | [[Art Museum]] / SHELDON: On the left, an original Mondrian painting, valued at $8 million. On the right, an identical version I paid some kid $1.39 to make. / DANTE: Are you making some sly commentary on the "difficulty" of creating modern art- / Kid: -mommy sez I did a good job...'cuz squares are the tougherest to draw. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030106.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 07 / 2003 | DANTE: Shel, if you're gonna have a decent art museum, you GOTTA include modern art. / SHELDON: But I HATE modern art... It's so random and weird... There's no SKILL with most of it. By the end of his life, Picasso could've spit on a bar napkin and called it "art". / / DANTE: So... You're saying we WON'T be displaying this, then? / SHELDON: Oh you're kidding. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030107.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 08 / 2003 | [[Art Museum]] / SHELDON: Maybe Dante's right. Maybe I AM too critical of modern art. / / [[Art Museum]] / SHELDON: I mean, I can see the possibilities here... this is clearly a comment on our struggle with machines in this fast-paced age. / / SHELDON: In a way, it's almost beautiful... metal pipes and wires sculpted into one form. / / [[Art Museum]] / sign: drinking fountain OUT OF ORDER / SHELDON: I gotta find Dante and tell him about my change of heart. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030108.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 09 / 2003 | [[Museum]] / DANTE: …All right, let’s try it again. When you see this piece, how do you feel? / SHELDON: Sick to my stomach. / / [[Museum]] / DANTE: Nooo… Try again. How do you feel? / SHELDON: Shocked, that this is considered ART. / / [[Museum]] / DANTE: No! No! No! / (SOUND FX): BAP! / / [[Museum]] / SHELDON: I… I feel… Pixies… Dancing on my eyes… To the music of… Yanni… / DANTE: Indeed. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030109.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 10 / 2003 | NARRATOR: Hey friends! Tired of looking like a fool at art galleries? Then you need Sheldon's... Guide to bluffing yer way through the world of art! / / NARRATOR: Once it arrives, you’ll learn these art phrases: / • “This painting ricochets across my very soul.” / • “Her use of color is a cornucopia upon which I feast.” / • “Surely this artist is a god… For they have birthed new worlds.” / …And many more!
/ / / [[Museum]] / NARRATOR: Then just try them out! / SHELDON: It's as though the creative angel within has vomited! / ARTHUR: Complete imbecile. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030110.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 11 / 2003 | SHELDON: Can you believe it, Dante? Here we are, two ten year-old boys... with access to billions of dollars... buying a Van Gogh painting! / / SHELDON: What do you think Van Gogh would've said, if he knew we'd end up buyin' this? / / SHELDON: "Enjoy the painting, fellas!" That's what he'd say! / DANTE: Or "I'm koo-koo for Coco Puffs!" ..."you fellas seen an ear around here?" http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030111.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 13 / 2003 | [[Kitchen]] / GRAMP: My ten-year old grandson is starting up an art museum. No, seriously! He's pouring millions of dollars into it. / / [[Kitchen]] / GRAMP: He says he's gonna make it a world-class museum, if you can believe that. ...The whole thing boggles my mind. / / [[Kitchen]] / ARTHUR: Um... you're talkin to the spice rack... / GRAMP: Look, this house has a boy-billionaire, a talking duck, and one guy who's chatting with a spice rack. I'M THE LEAST WEIRD THING AROUND HERE! http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030113.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 14 / 2003 | [[Museum]] / ARTHUR: The grand-opening of your art museum is really goin’ well, boss. / SHELDON: Thanks Arthur. / / [[Museum]] / ARTHUR: And look at all these celebrities! You’ve got movie stars, musicians, politicians, and— uh-oh… / SHELDON: What? / / [[Museum]] / ARTHUR: Who invited Gallagher? / Gallagher: It’s watermelon time! / DANTE: NO! Gallagher no! http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030114.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 15 / 2003 | Radio: Today's program is sponsored in part by "Nike", which invites you to "Just do it." / / Radio: ...And by "Skippy" peanut butter, makers of fine peanut butter since 1933. / / Radio: ...And by "General Electric", who remind you that "We bring good things to life." / / Radio: This is N.P.R., your commerical-free public radio. / GRAMP: PSHAW. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030115.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 16 / 2003 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: Let's say I had this billionaire friend... and he meets this very pretty girl. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: And let's say this friend wanted to talk to this girl, but was too shy. What would you recommend this friend do? / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / DANTE: Hmmmmm... / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / DANTE: Am I this friend? / SHELDON: It's ME you moron. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030116.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 17 / 2003 | [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: Gramp, how do I get around my shyness and introduce myself to a certain girl? / GRAMP: Well, you could do what I did with your grandmother. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: When I was working in my college cafeteria, I accidentally spilled a 40-gallon drum of pasta sauce on her. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: Umm...I don't know if that would work for m- / GRAMP: Angry woman, your grandmother. Sure could smooch, tho.' http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030117.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 18 / 2003 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / GRAMP: It's time for your grandfather to teach you a bit about relationships / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / GRAMP: Lesson one: Love is like a gentle songbird. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / GRAMP: You must open your trusting heart to its song. Accept love totally and completely. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: Ow! Love just pecked at my face! / GRAMP: ...Bringing us, sadly, to lesson two... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030118.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 20 / 2003 | [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: How does a grandfather explain the intricacies of love to his grandson? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: How does he explain the nature of relationships?? The beautiful selflessness of pure giving? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: Okay... uh... remember that one "Twilight Zone" where the - / ARTHUR: Not THAT way! http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030120.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 21 / 2003 | [[Inside (non-specific)]] / SHELDON: I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna call this girl and introduce myself! / ARTHUR: Hey, good for you! / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / (SOUND FX): beep beep beep / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / (SOUND FX): beep / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / (SOUND FX): beeeep / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / ARTHUR: Uh, I'm gonna go make myself a sandwich... / SHELDON: So... very... afraid... to dial... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030121.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 22 / 2003 | [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: So, you're gonna call that girl you like? / SHELDON: Yeah, but first I gotta put together this list... / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: I want to have an answer to ANY comment she might make, just in case I freeze up. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: You know, spontaneity is the spice of life. / SHELDON: Uh... Hold on here.... / "YES, I CONCUR. SPONTANEITY IS QUITE NICE." http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030122.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 23 / 2003 | [[Inside (non-specific)]] / DANTE: Yor're doing WHAT? / SHELDON: Making a complete list of conversational topics that might come up when I call that girl I like. / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / DANTE: It's a long list. / SHELDON: Yes.... Yes... I have to be prepared. / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / DANTE: ...You really think she'll wanna talk about "Indian elephant polo"? / ARTHUR: ...Or "ostrich-meat farming"? / SHELDON: SHE MIGHT! SHE MIGHT! http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030123.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 24 / 2003 | [[Non-Specific (White background)]] / NARRATOR: For weeks, he's been preparing for this moment. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / NARRATOR: For weeks he's been planning out the first words he would say to her. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / NARRATOR: And now, he takes one last breath... / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / NARRATOR: ...And dives into the world of romance! / SHELDON: DURRRR... / Maria: Excuse me? http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030124.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 25 / 2003 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: Uh... Hi! My name's Sheldon, and I really COFF! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: COFF COFF COFF I really... / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: COFF COFF COFF like... / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / NARRATOR: Ladies' man at work. / Maria: Dork. / SHELDON: ...YOU. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030125.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 27 / 2003 | SHELDON: If you were a girl, would you rather get flowers or chocolates? / ARTHUR: I think any sensible girl would prefer a ham sandwich. / / ARTHUR: A little toasted wheat, some mayo, fresh tomatoes, and some thinly sliced ham. / / / SHELDON: Flowers it is, then. / ARTHUR: Sweeeet hammy goodness. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030127.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 28 / 2003 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: You... You know who I am?!? / Maria: Of course I do, silly. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / Maria: I'd know YOU anywhere. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / Maria: You're Dante's friend! / SHELDON: "Dante's friend"? / DANTE: ...DANTE'S FRIEND? http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030128.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 29 / 2003 | [[Inside (non-specific)]] / ARTHUR: So Dante stole your girl? / DANTE: HEY! I didn't steal anyone's girl! / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / ARTHUR: Imagine that. The boy-billionaire strikes out at love. / DANTE: Shel, I don't even know this girl. / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / ARTHUR: I guess money can't buy love. / DANTE: In my mind girls have always been yucky. / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / ARTHUR: ...And how horrible to have your best friend steal your girl. / DANTE: I DIDN'T STEAL ANYONE'S GIRL! http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030129.html |
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