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Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 11 / 2007 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: Goodbye, Mr. George Lucas! / George Lucas: Goodbye, children! / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: "Children"? ...It's just me. / George Lucas: Yeah, but I might cgi thousands more creatures into the scene later. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON:...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 12 / 2007 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: See? If I fold the dollar... like... THIS... / George Washington becomes a mushroom... / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Or, like THIS... a tree. Or... a house... or, the Eiffel tower. / DANTE: Neat. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees,...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 13 / 2007 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: THE 3 KEY STAGES OF AGING: / / [[THE HOUSE (Kitchen)]] / NARRATOR: Stage One: You start making yourself chamomile tea... and not on a dare. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / NARRATOR: Stage Two: You start falling asleep waiting for the tea to cool... forcing you to reheat it in the...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 14 / 2007 [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: Lemme ask you... if God exists, why would he design us with all these physical flaws? I mean, just look at ME. Look how hard it is for me to get my butt underwater. / / [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: Can't do it. My butt wants to float. It's totally unfair. / / [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: Although......
Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 15 / 2007 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: You're always going on and on about coffee... let me try a sip. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / (SOUND FX): Siiiiiiiiiiip / / [[nonspecific (colored background) (blue with yellow dots)]] / (SOUND FX): THIS IS THE DAWNING OF THE AGE OF AQUARIUS / / [[nonspecific...
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 16 / 2007 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: True Life Tales From Owning A Pug: #47 /
/ The average pug stands 16" tall... / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: They can run at a top speed of 30 MPH... / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: And they can leap up to two times their height / / [[nonspecific...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 17 / 2007 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Arrow: totally normal / NARRATOR: Once upon a time, vacuums were designed with dark, plastic outer shells / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Arrow: post-modern hipness, no doubt / NARRATOR: But all of a sudden, new vacuums have these clear, see-through containers / / [[nonspecific...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 18 / 2007 [[Store]] / GRAMP: Did you put your little seatbelt on? / ARTHUR: No. SHEESH! Are you ever gonna let that go? / / [[Store]] / ARTHUR: I fall out of the cart ONE TIME...and you bring it up constantly. It wasn't even that big of a deal. / / [[Store]] / / [[Store]] / ARTHUR: Because... SERIOUSLY... not to rehash old...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 19 / 2007 [[Store]] / ARTHUR: Oo! Oooo! Can we get some "Cookie Crisp" cereal? / GRAMP: Are you kidding?? NO! / / [[Store]] / GRAMP: Those things are just... little cookies! They're marketing little cookies for breakfast! Cookies! / / [[Store]] / GRAMP: ..."Why not try new 'veggie cakes'! They're shaped like veggies, but they're...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 20 / 2007 [[Public Bathroom]] / sign: Men / NARRATOR: Do you hate the idea of using a public bathroom? Of course you do. Everyone does. / / [[Public Bathroom]] / NARRATOR: Even when the bathroom is sparkling clean, your germ-a-phobic "spidey senses" start tingling / / [[Public Bathroom]] / NARRATOR: But there's a solution!...
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 21 / 2007 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / Birds: Peeping / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / Birds: Peeping / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / Birds: Peeping / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / Birds: Peeping / ARTHUR: MAN... / Some people will NOT shut up about their band
Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 22 / 2007 [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: Apparently Ikea is going to start building houses in England / ARTHUR: Ha! Yeah! I heard about that. There are three floorplans to choose from: the Fürdibür, the Skōōgle, and the Loornst. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Each house comes flat-packed, and weighs only 20 pounds. Plus,...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 23 / 2007 [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Why is Scotch tape called "Scotch tape"? / GRAMP: Because. The Scots have a 2300-year history of giving delicately wrapped birthday gifts. And they're widely credited with creating the perfect tape to wrap those gifts / / [[THE HOUSE]] / / [[THE HOUSE]] / / [[THE HOUSE]] / (SOUND FX): SIGH... / GRAMP:...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 24 / 2007 [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: It just makes no sense. They took two totally different movies and just ..... MASHED ‘em together. “Alien”.... “Predator”.... They were completely separate stories. / / [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: What if they just mashed up all sci-fi like that? “Star Trek vs. Star Wars” … How lame would...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 25 / 2007 [[THE POND]] / SHELDON: Look at the goofy expression he gets on his face when he doggy-paddles.
/ ...It's a mixture of panic, excitement, and dopeyness. / / [[THE POND]] / / [[THE POND]] / SHELDON: But I guess that's pretty much the face he makes all the time. / ARTHUR: Dogs: Nature's Little Doofuses.
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 26 / 2007 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Some group of geologists claim to have found "Kryptonite" in Serbia. / SHELDON: ...Except that it's TOTALLY NOT KRYPTONITE. It's not green, it doesn't glow, and it doesn't hurt the Man of Steel. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic:...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 27 / 2007 SHELDON: I'll tell you what really happened. Some geologist found his funding was running out... and he decided to go for some easy P.R. They didn't REALLY find kryptonite in Serbia. Who's dumb enough to believe that? / / [[Denny's]] / NARRATOR: Meanwhile, at a Denny's outside of Chicago... / Zod: I'm sorry...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 28 / 2007 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Zod: The plan is off. I just realized that we can't use kryptonite against Superman because... um... we're... also... from... Krypton... / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Zod: I'm SO sorry about this. You guys are always there when I need you - ready to fight the...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 29 / 2007 [[THE HOUSE (at night)]] / ARTHUR: From the darkness he comes... / / [[THE HOUSE (at night)]] / ARTHUR: ...THE DUCK! / / [[THE HOUSE (at night)]] / ARTHUR: While his fair city sleeps, THE DUCK hunts down criminals. And tonight is no different! / / [[THE HOUSE (at night)]] / ARTHUR: He spots them in their well-lit...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 30 / 2007 [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: I have you in my sights, superhero. / ARTHUR: ¡El Staplero! The greatest villain to ever wield a stapler!! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: It is I. And my presence can only mean one thing: YOUR DOOM. / (SOUND FX): Chunk chunk chunk chunk chunk chunk chu / / [[THE HOUSE]] / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR:...
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 01 / 2007 [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Villain! I will not allow your vile, villainous villainy to succeed! / SHELDON: There is no way you can stop me, hero! I am the invincible STAPLERO! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / (SOUND FX): Chunk chunk chunk ch- / SHELDON: OW! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: Ow ow ow I've ever-so-slightly stapled my own...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 02 / 2007 [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: ¡El Staplero! Your evil ends here... at the hands of my sidekick! / SHELDON: HA!! You don't mean "Stickboy", do you? / ...Cause Dante's at the dentist. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: No, not Stickboy. A NEW sidekick. / FLACO: SQUEE-E-E-E-E EEEE / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Behold! "Jungle Lad"!...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 03 / 2007 [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: You can't stop me, heroes. I am El Staplero - the fastest stapler in all of Mexico!* / NARRATOR: *Except for that one dude in the state of Oaxaca - Editor / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Talk all you want, Staplero... your day of reckoning has arrived. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Ask not for...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 04 / 2007 [[THE HOUSE]] / (SOUND FX): Click click click click / ARTHUR: Ha-HA! El Staplero is out of staples! Now is our time to strike! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: Curses... I am defenseless! I must reload at my super secret, hidden arctic lair of mystery and mayhem! / / [[Office Supply Depot]] / sign: All toner half off!...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 05 / 2007 [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Wait. Stop. Something's not right. Somethingss missing. I need theme music for my character. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Something that represents the finest superhero ideals of justice, honor and truth. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Stereo: Mah humps, mah humps, mah humps, mah hum my lovely / ARTHUR:...
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 06 / 2007 NARRATOR: HOW TO BE A SUPERHERO IN FIVE EASY STEPS / / [[nonspecific (colored background)]] / NARRATOR: 1.) Develop the most mild-mannered alter-ego possible / ARTHUR: My name is Bobby McHugstable ... and I sell goosedown pillows to puppies / / [[nonspecific (colored background)]] / NARRATOR: 2.) Pick a costume...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 07 / 2007 NARRATOR: HOW TO WRITE A SUPERHERO'S ORIGIN STORY... / / [[Countryside]] / NARRATOR: 1.) Give them a countryside childhood, where they scamper around like the first five minutes of "Bambi". Also, you gotta use the word "simple" a lot. / ARTHUR: ...Ah'm just a simple cowpoke. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR:...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 08 / 2007 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: Summoning a superhero is critical... but the methods evolve. For example, Batman didn't start out with the "bat signal" / / [[Street]] / Batman: Flyer...? Take a flyer. Flyer? Call me anytime ...flyer? / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: The phone hotline...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 09 / 2007 NARRATOR: HOW TOLL ROADS WORK / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: Step 1: your local gov't can't afford a new road, so they propose covering costs with tolls / Man (Generic): ...But we'll only collect tolls for 10 years. / / [[Car]] / NARRATOR: Step 2: for the next 10 years, you desperately search...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 10 / 2007 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: It's the 50th anniversary of the font "Helvetica" / ARTHUR: ...So what? / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: So what?? SO WHAT?? Helvetica is THE most awesome font of the 20th century. She's sleek, efficient and beautiful. ...And we're gonna throw her...
 

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