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| Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 06 / 2003 | SHELDON: Have you ever looked up the word "dictionary" in a dictionary? / DANTE: No. Why? / / Book: dictionary \ dik-sho-ner-e n., 1:reference book containing word definitions, spellings, and pronunciations 2:THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT BOOK EVER WRITTEN. EVER. NO, SERIOUSLY...EVER. / / SHELDON: Sounds like... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030306.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 07 / 2003 | [[Bathroom]] / SHELDON: AAAH!! HEY! Get outta here - I'm in the tub! / / [[Bathroom]] / ARTHUR: Whoa. Relax. I just wanna go for a swim. / SHELDON: GET OUTTA HERE! I'm naked! / / [[Bathroom]] / ARTHUR: Big whoop. So am I. / SHELDON: OUT OUT OUT!! http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030307.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 08 / 2003 | SHELDON: I will now send undulating waves of electomagnetic energy through this comestible dish, causing its molecules to vibrate, and thus, heat up. / / / ARTHUR: Can't you just say "I'm going to microwave my corndog" like a normal kid?? / SHELDON: ...LET'S BRING THE EXCITEMENT BACK TO LUNCH, THAT'S WHAT... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030308.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 10 / 2003 | [[THE POND]] / / [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: Avast! To the port side! With a hump like a snowhill... It be MOBY DICK! / / [[THE POND]] / GRAMP: "Ha- ha" Mr. Funny... / ARTHUR: No, no call me Ishmael. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030310.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 11 / 2003 | [[THE POND]] / GRAMP: Your jokes about my weight bounce right off me. / / GRAMP: I'm lookin' pretty good these days. Yessir, slim and trim. / / [[THE POND (almost empty)]] / ARTHUR: Still, it's pretty odd that the pond does this every time you get out. / Fish: COFF COFF. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030311.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 12 / 2003 | [[Inside (non-specific)]] / ARTHUR: You're not serious. / GRAMP: I am. / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / ARTHUR: But... You're still young. / GRAMP: It must be done. / / [[Non-Specific (White background)]] / ARTHUR: But SUSPENDERS? MAAAN, you're just giving up. / GRAMP: Look, gravity is not my friend. / SHELDON: The jug... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030312.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 13 / 2003 | [[Living Room]] / SHELDON: Everytime Gramp naps on the couch, I put "MTV" on in the background. I wanna teach him pop culture words while he's asleep. / / [[Living Room]] / DANTE: Any luck so far? / SHELDON: Not that I can tell. / / [[Grocery Store]] / Clerk: Plastic bag for your groceries, Sir? / GRAMP: Fo' Shizzle... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030313.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 14 / 2003 | [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: Gramp, can I just have apple-sauce for dinner? / GRAMP: What? No... I'm cooking a proper meal. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: But if I just want apple-sauce, shouldn't I just get apple-sauce? / GRAMP: Oh... oh, I forgot! The billionaire doesn't have to eat a good dinner! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP:... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030314.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 15 / 2003 | [[nonspecific (white background)]] / GRAMP: It's an abomination, that's what it is. / ARTHUR: Yep. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / GRAMP: Just the thought of it leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
/ ...It has no place in civilized society. / ARTHUR: Yep. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: Conversations... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030315.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 17 / 2003 | [[THE HOUSE]] / / [[THE HOUSE]] / (SOUND FX): creak... / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: Why, Sheldon! You're home early from school! / SHELDON: You do this every day, do you? http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030317.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 18 / 2003 | ARTHUR: Hey Maria, ¿Hablas Español? / Maria: Si, por supuesto. Soy Cubana. / / ARTHUR: ¿De verás? Soy un pato chino, pero-- / SHELDON: WHOA WHOA WHOA!! Are you speaking Spanish? When did you learn that?? / / ARTHUR: When you downloaded that speech software into my head, I guess. / SHELDON: Really? But why... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030318.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 19 / 2003 | SHELDON: You speak 23 languages? Since when? / ARTHUR: Since I first learned to talk. That speech-recognition software that you put in my head wasn't just for English, you know. / / SHELDON: But... but... all this time... there were no signs that you were multi-lingual. / / ARTHUR: Haven't you ever wondered... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030319.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 20 / 2003 | [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: ...French, German, Russian and Mandarin Chinese. / DANTE: Wow. I can't believe you speak all those languages! / SHELDON: Wait...that was only 22. You said you spoke 23 languages. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Oh, and "Klingon." I speak Klingon. / SHELDON: You...speak Klingon? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON:... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030320.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 21 / 2003 | GRAMP: Your duck speaks 23 languages? / SHELDON: Yeah! Isn't it amazing?! Think of all the wonderful ways that a gift like that could be used for the betterment of humanity! / / / GRAMP: He... He could order for me at Chinese restaurants.... / ARTHUR: Oh heck no. It's way more fun to watch you struggle to order... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030321.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 22 / 2003 | [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: This isn't good. Your brain is 99.9% full.
/ We overdid it. Your memory can't handle all the languages we put in there. / ARTHUR: YIKES. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: Frankly, I don't know how your brain is even working! It's 99.9% full! / ARTHUR:... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030322.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 24 / 2003 | ARTHUR: So you're saying that, in order to save my brain, you have to ERASE 75% of it?? / SHELDON: Unfortunately. / / ARTHUR: But that's horrible! I'll become an empty shell! A vacuous zombie, walking around like.... Like... / / SHELDON: Steven Seagal? / / ARTHUR: HA HA HA HA / SHELDON: ....Just wanted to lighten... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030324.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 25 / 2003 | GRAMP: You have to WHAT?? / SHELDON: Erase big chunks of my duck's memory. But I need to find a safe way to do it. / / GRAMP: Hmmm... / / GRAMP: You could have him turn 65. That seems to do the trick. / SHELDON: Speaking of which, you forgot pants again. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030325.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 26 / 2003 | [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: Sheldon flips the switch, and 40,000 watts of power surge into Arthur's head. / ARTHUR: YOW! / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: The jolt is numbing...
/ wiping clean huge chunks of his memory...
/ ERASING 75% OF HIS BRAIN! / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON:... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030326.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 27 / 2003 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: You seem to be handling this well.... / ARTHUR: You mean losing my ability to speak 23 languages? / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Well, not being able to speak Chinese, German, or French is a bummer... But SUCH IS LIFE. / / [[OUTSIDE... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030327.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 28 / 2003 | ARTHUR: Boy am I in a sour mood today. Nothing is going right for me lately. / / ARTHUR: And no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to shake this feeling. / Maria: Well I know a sure-fire cure that'll fix what ails you. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: By gum, I DO feel better. / Maria:... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030328.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 29 / 2003 | [[Sheldonsoft]] / SHELDON: Ugh. I am having the worst day.
/ The computer system crashed, the fire alarm keeps going off accidentally, and we just lost our biggest customer. / / [[Sheldonsoft]] / SHELDON: If only there was some way I could take a break from it all and just relax! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest,... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030329.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 31 / 2003 | [[Sandbox]] / SHELDON: Here we see a small, family-run business. They're thinking about buying Sheldonsoft software. / / [[Sandbox]] / SHELDON: And here we see Sheldonsoft. They'd love to sell that software to them. / / [[Sandbox]] / SHELDON: ...And here we see Microsoft, muscling in on the action and acting like... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030331.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 01 / 2003 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / DANTE: A sandbox is a lot like life.
/ You spend all your time trying to build something special, and leave the world a better place. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / DANTE: But more often than not, you... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030401.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 02 / 2003 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: I am building a city on the hill. A utopia where all is bright and happy. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: The streets are wide and welcoming, the faces are happy, and all is well.
/ A perfect little world. ...That's what I'm building.... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030402.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 03 / 2003 | GRAMP: Check out this old picture of me... look at the hideous leisure suit I have on! / / GRAMP: And look - I'm standing on shag carpeting... in white elevator shoes! / / SHELDON: In so many ways, the 70's was a decade without quality-control. / GRAMP: And you can spot my lime-green "AMC Gremlin" parked ou... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030403.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 04 / 2003 | SHELDON: Every way you look at it, the 70's was an ugly, ugly decade. / / SHELDON: It had bad architecture, blocky cars, tacky colors, and shag carpeting... Everything was just UGLY. / / GRAMP: You know, you may be right... / SHELDON: ...And President Nixon wasn't exactly "Miss Universe". http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030404.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 05 / 2003 | [[Kitchen]] / SHELDON: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You got PICKLES? I hate pickles. / / [[Kitchen]] / GRAMP: But it's not pickles. It's "I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT PICKLES." / / [[Kitchen]] / GRAMP: They're made from mushrooms. / SHELDON: Oh well now you've sold me. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030405.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 07 / 2003 | [[Front door]] / DANTE: Wanna go fishing? / SHELDON: Can't. I've got a big meeting at the office. / / [[Front door]] / DANTE: But you're the boss! You can reschedule it! / SHELDON: I really can't. / / [[Front door]] / DANTE: Well I know how I'D arrange it... / SHELDON: How's that? / / [[THE POND]] http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030407.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 08 / 2003 | [[THE POND]] / SHELDON: I've heard of tennis elbow, and runner's knee... / / [[THE POND]] / SHELDON: ...But "Fisherman's Spine?" / DANTE: 'Tis a sport filled with danger, matey. / ARTHUR: Z http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030408.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 09 / 2003 | [[THE POND]] / SHELDON: Let's make a little agreement right now... / / [[THE POND]] / SHELDON: We never, EVER take Arthur fishing again. / ARTHUR: IT'S MY FISH!! MINE!! / DANTE: ...Agreed. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030409.html |
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