You're browsing the archives of Penny and Aggie.
You can search these comics too.

show: [ show full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]

Penny and Aggie I thought you were moving to So-Cal. / Didn't work out. / Why not? / Dad's a jerk... / You know? / No, I don't know. / There are different levels of jerkitude, you know? / Seen any good movies lately?
Penny and Aggie We need volunteers for a protest! / The historical society wants to tear down this mall and build a museum! / What? / Malls are proven stress relievers! Are they trying to give us heart attacks? / You're right! Somebody has to do something! / So good luck! / Yeah!
Penny and Aggie How did we furnish our homes before Ikea? / Everything's so simple, so lightweight... / FINIS... / ...TER? / So if you screw it up, you've really only got yourself to blame.
Penny and Aggie Oww! Ow! What if...What if I've thrown my back out? I... / SLAM / Hi, Aggie! Just had a small mishap with the bookcase and then... / Well, then I just got lost in a book! / / Dork.
Penny and Aggie You're lucky, Mr. D'Amour. / It's just a sprain. / It'll heal. / But I'm going to recommend a program of exercise. / Academics your age need - / "My age." / I'm in my thirties, doctor. / Thirties are the new twenties... / Everyone says so... / Sigh... / "My age..." / Boo hoo.
 
Penny and Aggie MENTAL AGE: 93 / You kids stay off my lawn! / MENTAL AGE: 116 / Mr. D'Amour? / MENTAL AGE: 17 / My name's Charisma. I'll be your trainer today. / H...hi.
Penny and Aggie My goal's... to get... stronger, I guess. / I mean, I'm already strong, it's just... heh heh... / always room for... / Smooth. / Says here you're a teacher, like me? / Mm? / I never get to talk with someone in my line of work. / Would you like to get protein shakes, after this? / Oh, my god. / She's not making...
Penny and Aggie WHEN I WAS SEVENTEEN, I WAS POPULAR... WITH GIRLS. BUT CHARISMA'S A WOMAN. SHE WANTS A MAN, NOT A BOY. / WHAT'S UP, DAD? / FEELIN' OLDER. / AWWW...
Penny and Aggie 2000: Pink is the new black. / 2001: Silver is the new black. / 2002: Black is the new black. / 2003: Montezuma brown is the new black. / 2004: Pink is the new black. / / 2005 / Platinum blonde is the new black, honey. Lucky coinci-- / Is it "the new black" because you say it is? / Lucky coincidence, wouldn't...
Penny and Aggie HELLO, WORLD. YOU DON'T DESERVE SUCH BEAUTY. BUT HERE I AM ANYWAY. / BECAUSE I'M A GIVER.
 
Penny and Aggie "Boys," we call them. Slobbering blobs of drool, that's all they really are. Disgusting Animals. / I hope they never grow up.
Penny and Aggie You ready? / Why do we have to go anyway? / Because families do things together. / I don't know why. / We just do. / (sign) Welcome to the Roaring Twenties Please wait to be seated / But no one under like seventy eats at "The Boring Twenties!" / Your mom likes quiet. / Now, throw something on and - / "Throw"...
Penny and Aggie Dressing for mood: / Sad / Angry / Happy / Too important to share any feelings with the likes of you.
Penny and Aggie The LATEST invention that will totally overhaul our lives is the RFID TAG! / Placed within ANY object--like a nocturnal teenager's CELL PHONE--the tag can tell you EXACTLY where it is, at ANY time! / Um... / PARENTS, YOUR WORRIES ARE OVER! / Honey, where's the RFID tag LOCATOR? / I don't know! Have you tried...
Penny and Aggie Penny? Is that a new outfit? / No, the BOOTS are old. / Sweetie... it's YOUR allowance, but spend it more CAREFULLY next time. / I'd like to see you make an INVESTMENT. / 24 hrs later... / Well... / Seasons CHANGE... don't they?
 
Penny and Aggie bo-he-mi-an (bo -he`me -?n) / N. an artistic person who disregards conventional standards of behavior and dress. / Adj. the style of a bohemian. / Bohemian? That's the Indian-Asian-African look that everyone's talking about, honey. / Stop co-opting the language! / Relying on the dictionary definition? / How...
Penny and Aggie Mom? What's the... prescription on your GLASSES? / I asked for a pair of UGG boots. / They're the most "ugh" boots I could FIND!
Penny and Aggie Hey. / Um... / I got something I think you'll enjoy. / Who are you? Who do you think I am? Drugs? God... just run! / Now the bass tempo's a little alternative, but if you...
Penny and Aggie The theory goes that as skirt hemlines rise, so does the stock market. / So how can you PERSECUTE us for this? We're doing our PATRIOTIC DUTY!
Penny and Aggie Your Daily Horoscope / Scorpio You have a way with words. Today favors writing and getting your message across. / The Sri Lankans need more than just- / He's gonna put that up his nose! / Ewwww! / I hate it when I let my horoscope down.
 
Penny and Aggie I don't feel good today... / This wouldn't have anything to do with that PIMPLE, would it? / No, I think I'm really sick! Look at this! / Well... maybe you are. / If you were just fooling, I don't think you'd resort to using the cat's thermometer. / What do you mean the pimple's why you couldn't stay...
Penny and Aggie New Year's resolution, Monday: / "To be a better poet, I'll write every day." / I think I'll try a 40-line ode. / Wednesday: / Hmmm... / Should the rhyme scheme be ABBAABBACDECDE, just to take it easy today? / Saturday: / Poem. / A tree. / It be. / The End.
Penny and Aggie WATCH OUT FOR THOSE, DUANE. / DAD SAYS WORD PROBLEMS ARE REAL BOOBY TRAPS. / YEAH, YOU THINK YOU KNOW THE ANSWER, BUT... / WHAT IS IT ABOUT HER? / SHALL I START WITH THE A'S?
Penny and Aggie She's able, attractive, athletic... / Aesthetic, assured, audacious, alluring, adorable... / Attired attractively in apricot, aphrodisiacal. / I have to admit, that is an impressive display. / Thanks, Ag... / But it doesn't help me get to know Penny. / I mean, who wants to hear somebody praise them...
Penny and Aggie DUANE, I ADMIRE YOUR TALENT--I'M A POET TOO-- BUT YOUR TASTE IN WOMEN SUCKS. / DUANE, I ADMIRE YOUR-- / DON'T SAY THAT! / BUT... / YOUR... / NONO! TALK TO THE HAND! NO... / DON'T TALK! AT ALL! / A LITERARY MAGAZINE EDITOR MUST BE UNBIASED! / I WILL HEAR NO FLATTERY! / ETIT... ETID... / EDITOR?
 
Penny and Aggie I THINK... I COULD HELP YOU. WITH PENNY. / NO WAY. / SHOULDN'T BE TOO HARD. / 'SAMATTER? SCARED HE'LL SAY NO? / I'LL SHOW YOU! / BUT DON'T YOU GUYS FIGHT. LIKE, ALL THE TIME? / ...YOU... JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND GIRL FRIENDSHIPS! / FORTUNATELY.
Penny and Aggie POP / WHAT IN THE NAME OF PEACE WAS THAT? / HELPING A FRIEND. / A "FRIEND" WHO CAN GET YOU PUBLISHED! "HELPING" HIM GET SOMETHING THAT'S NO GOOD FOR HIM! / SO WHEN DOES MY SHOULDER DEVIL SHOW UP? / YOU DON'T GET ONE! YOU KNOW WHY? YOU ARE ONE! / SHAME! SHAAAAAAAME!
Penny and Aggie SO FIX HIM UP. / PENNY'S ALWAYS GOING OUT WITH CUTE GUYS, RIGHT? / AND I KNOW HOW TO PUSH HER BUTTONS. / HOW HARD CAN THIS BE? / I'M SORRY, SEAN. I'M BOOKED THIS MONTH! BUT YOU KNOW I'LL BE CHEERING FOR YOU ON THE STANDS, RIGHT? / ON THE INSIDE, I MEAN. YOU KNOW, MENTALLY. / I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF MY VOIC...
Penny and Aggie Hey, Penny - free ticket. / If you want to thank me, I'll be two rows down, wearing the red shirt and black jeans. / I'm scary good at this!
Penny and Aggie This?... / Some stalker put in my locker. / Ticket to the Fencer show. / Tells me what he'll be wearing there. / Yik. / Technically she- he's not a stalker if he tells you what he looks like. / You think I should go, Sara? / You might learn something important. / Or...not. / How should I know? / Anythin...
 

Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 >>