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| Jesus and Mo » Archive » know | Did you hear that 30% of U.K. university students believe in creationism?
/ Great news! Glad to see the satanic lie of evolution is going out of fashion / I put it down to epistemic relativism.
/ What's that? / It means that there aremany different ways of "knowing" - and that they are all equally valid
/ But... http://jesusandmo.net/2006/08/21/know/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » hell | The barmaid really should be a believer. What has she got to lose? / My self-respect?
/ But If I'm wrong and you're right, then I lose nothing because I'm just dead. But if you're wrong, you will be cast for eternity into the firest of hell! So you must believe in the lord! / Actually, you must believe... http://jesusandmo.net/2006/08/23/hell/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » rods | So, tell me more about this islamic hell. Is it really worse than Christian hell?
/ You bet your skinny white ass. / It's not just the garmets of fire and boiling water on your head.
/ You get lashed with rods of iron, too - and shackled round the neck with hot chains.
/ Ouchy. / And when you try to escape... http://jesusandmo.net/2006/08/28/rods/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » ding | I'll get it. /
/ http://jesusandmo.net/2006/08/30/ding/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » roll | Hey, Jesus. Could you throw some toilet roll in here, please
/ Sorry, Mo. That was the last one. / You are fucking joking!
/ 'Fraid not.
/ What about an old newspaper? / Nope. I put all the papers out for recycling this afternoon.
/ Could you go buy some, then?
/ Shops are closed till tomorrow. We got nothing,... http://jesusandmo.net/2006/09/04/roll/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » jeez | We get quite a lot of emails sent to us.
/ They are nearly all kind and friendly, but sometimes we get a strange one.
/ Look at this for example. / Your depiction of arabs is racist. Muhammed is given the name "Mo" liking him to one of the Three Stooges. Yet the white aryan Jesus is given his full title.... http://jesusandmo.net/2006/09/06/jeez/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » hurt | Listen you bastard. How disgraceful is your website. I wish that you will die the worst death evern and be in hell you bastard. Tell a believer what you are saying and you will surely be raped [Aziz Al_S]
/ Do you detect a note of hostility, Mo?
/ A little / What kind of a "believer" considers anal rape... http://jesusandmo.net/2006/09/08/hurt/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » pints | Ok barmaid, try this: you can imagine God as an ultimately perfect being, right?
/ Sure, I can imagine it. / And an ultimately perfect being would have to exist, right? Otherwise, by definition, it wouldn't be perfect
/ Er... / Therefore God actually exists - or your claim to be able to imagine him... http://jesusandmo.net/2006/09/11/pints/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » filth | Listen to this, Mo: "Today, in the West, there are no good excuses for religious belief - unless we think that ignorance, reaction and sentimentality are good excuses."
/ Damned cheek. / We don't need excuses!
/ Just look at the filth, degradation and moral depravity of the West!
/ Islam provides and alternative... http://jesusandmo.net/2006/09/13/filth/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » fire | So we got some sticks and papier mache and made an effigy of this guy... / Then we took it out into the street and set fire to it... / We threw it to the ground and jumped up and down on it, all the time yelling "God is great! God is great!"
/ What did this guy do to upset you so much? / He accused... http://jesusandmo.net/2006/09/18/fire/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » pope | It turns out the Pope was actually attacking secularism, not Islam, in his Regensburg address
/ Yeah, right / He sees modern scientific reason as limiting and harmful, and wants people to acknowledge biblical faith as the basis or rationality
/ You are shitting me! / What do you think, Mo? Is the pope... http://jesusandmo.net/2006/09/21/pope/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » tiny | Barmaid, how can you believe in evolution when there's no evidence that it has ever happened?
/ Yeah, my grandad wasn't a monkey! / What? You're seaying that bacteria never really evolve and become resistant to antibiotics?
/ That's tiny evolution, not big evolution
/ Big difference / So, you think that... http://jesusandmo.net/2006/09/25/tiny/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » blame | Evolution is so stupid. Have you ever seen a chimpanzee give birth to a human?
/ Ha ha! Not me. Have you barmaid? / Good grief / Tell me this: if humans are descended from monkeys - how come there are still monkeys?
/ Yeah, answer that one / I blame the education system http://jesusandmo.net/2006/09/28/blame/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » walls | Jesus, according to these gospels you came back to life you your real physical body - is that right?
/ Yeppers / So how come in John:20 it says you can walk through walls?
/ Aha! That's because I had a glorified body with special powers / Oh, I see. "Glorified" - I assumed it was just fictionalised
/ That... http://jesusandmo.net/2006/10/02/walls/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » house | A lot of people sayin' They got no time for prayin'
/ If they ain't five-times-a-dayin' They gonna end up payin'... / With their souls
/ They will be chewin' hot coals / And a lot of people dreamin' There's a right to be blasphemin' That get's my homeboys steamin' And pretty soon they schemin'
/ To kill... http://jesusandmo.net/2006/10/04/house/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » veil | These veils were a great idea, Mo. I feel so liberated
/ Yeah, I don't know why I didn't think of it before. Why should the girls have all the fun? / Well, they make me feel uncomfortable, guys. They put an unveiled interlocutor at a distinct disadvantage
/ Ha ha! it makes a welcome change to have the... http://jesusandmo.net/2006/10/08/veil/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » park | Hey, barmaid. Did you hear South Park are planning an episode making fun of atheism?
/ It's about time - they've already made fun of everyone else / Yes, I heard. Apparently, the atheist community is really upset, and atheist leaders are demanding that the show be cancelled / Some atheist fundamentalists... http://jesusandmo.net/2006/10/11/park/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » park | Hey, barmaid. Did you hear South Park are planning an episode making fun of atheism?
/ It's about time - they've already mad fun of everyone else / Yes, I heard. Apparently the atheist community is really upset, and atheist leaders are demanding that the show be cancelled / Some atheist fundamentalists... http://jesusandmo.net/2006/10/11/park/#comments |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » butt | [[Jesus and Mo are sitting on a park bench]]
/ Of all the gods ever invented, I think Ganesh must be the funniest.
/ The fat Hindu with the elephant's head? I agree. He's hilarious!
/ Hey! / [[Ganesh appears before them]]
/ I find your words really offensive. You two had better shut up.
/ Gee, Ganesh. Sorry... http://jesusandmo.net/2006/10/16/butt/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » party | [[Jesus and Mo sitting on a couch. There are two balloons, and a banner that says "Party! Party!"]]
/ Jesus: The Barmaid just phoned. She can't make it. She has to do a late shift.
/ Mo: Shit. / [[Two panels without dialogue.]] / What? Even Moses didn't turn up?
/ Jesus: You know Moses...
/ Mo: He's probably... http://jesusandmo.net/2006/10/18/party/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » lost | Jesus: Moses! You made it. Good to see you.
/ Mo: Only four days late. / Moses: Sorry. I got lost.
/ Jesus: I see your sense of direction hasn't improved.
/ Mo: 40 years he wandered about in the Sinai desert with the Israelites! / Jesus: It's not exactly a big desert.
/ Moses: Don't remind me.
/ Mo: I'm... http://jesusandmo.net/2006/10/23/lost/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » cozy | Oi! What the hell
/ are you boys
/ doing?
/ Reading / But man shall not lie with
/ mankind as with a woman!
/ It is an abomination! What
/ would your father say,
/ Jesus?
/ Oh great.
/ He's going all
/ old
/ testament
/ on us now / But Moses, I'm not
/ lying with him "as with
/ a woman". I'm lying
/ with him as with... http://jesusandmo.net/2006/10/25/cozy/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » suit | MO:this is boring, Moses, let me have the remote for a minute / MOSES:no! i need it to control the television / MO: man, you are a walking defamation suit http://jesusandmo.net/2006/10/30/suit/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » term | BARMAID,
/ THIS IS OUR
/ FRIEND
/ MOSES / PLEASED TO
/ MEET YOU,
/ MOSES. WHAT
/ CAN I GET YOU? / I'LL HAVE A
/ TEQUILA,
/ SUGARTITS / WHAT DID YOU JUST
/ CALL ME? / SORRY. I JUST
/ ASSUMED MEL
/ GIBSON'S RECENT
/ USE OF THE TERM
/ HAS RENDERED IT
/ SOCIALLY
/ ACCEPTABLE http://jesusandmo.net/2006/11/01/term/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » liar | TV: I do not know that man, and I have never had a homosexual relationship / No, wait... I do know him - and I once paid him for an oily massage. But that's all / Ok, I admit it. I am a liar and a deceiver and I have been wrestling with repulsive sexual demons all my adult life / Why doesn't he just... http://jesusandmo.net/2006/11/06/liar/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » tenet | That Muslim boy in London who called for a "9/11 all over Europe" is telling the court tat he didn't really mean it
/ We have a word for that: taqiyya / Taqiyya? Is that the Islamic tenet that states you can lie about your faith if the end result is to the glory of Allah?
/ Yep. I think it's disgusting. / In... http://jesusandmo.net/2006/11/08/tenet/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » bossy | I need to take a pss / So, what's it like having Moses as a house guest?
/ It's OK. He's a pretty funny guy
/ Kind of bossy sometimes / Yeah, he too down our Helena Christensen poster and replaced it with the ten bathroom commandments / Wow. That is bossy. What happened to Helena?
/ She's in his room... http://jesusandmo.net/2006/11/13/bossy/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » hard | You know, apart from the barmaid, I hate atheists
/ Me too / It's because they must think we're really stupid.
/ And the greater the investment we put in our faith, the more stupid they think we are, and so the more we hate them / It's hard for a Christian who gets up early for church every Sunday to... http://jesusandmo.net/2006/11/15/hard/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » yusuf | I'm so excited about CAt Stevens coming to town
/ Didn't he convert to Islam because he nearly drowned and concluded that God must have personally intervened to save him? / Yes! ha ha!
/ Ha ha ha!
/ But he's such a star. I can forgive him his egocentricity / And thenhe changed his name to Yusuf Islam / I... http://jesusandmo.net/2006/11/20/yusuf/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » sold | BAD NEWS, MO.
/ THE CAT
/ STEVENS
/ CONCERT IS SOLD
/ OUT. I COULDN'T
/ GET ANY TICKETS / SHIT! I'M
/ INCONSOLABLE / OH ALLAH, YOU ARE
/ MERCIFUL AND
/ COMPASSIONATE - PLEASE
/ FIND US TICKETS FOR THE
/ CAT STEVENS CONCERT / IF YOU DO THIS FOR ME
/ I WILL GIVE UP
/ DRINKING AND VIDEO
/ GAMES - FOREVER! / HELLO... http://jesusandmo.net/2006/11/22/sold/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » ideas | Jesus: It's funny how muslims talk about "our" prophet all the time - as if they have a claim to ownership of you
/ Mo: Christians do it to you, too / Jesus: That is true. But it doesn't actually make sense
/ Jesus: We are both historical figures. Just because our followers love us, they think they have... http://jesusandmo.net/2006/11/27/ideas/ |