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| Jesus and Mo » Archive » catch | [[Mo and Jesus. They appear to be at some sort of beachfront or boardwalk with a low railing. Mo is holding a jar, presumably with a bit of the eucharist.]] {{see http://www.jesusandmo.net/2008/07/14/mass/ and http://www.jesusandmo.net/2008/07/17/stout/ for the previous adventures of the jam jar with... http://jesusandmo.net/2008/07/23/catch/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » joke | [[Jesus and Mo are stood at the bar of the Cock And Bull]] / Jesus: Sorry Mo, but I think you need 'Desecration Therapy' as much as I
/ do - you're far from perfect.
/ Mo: What's wrong with me? / Jesus: For a start there's the Hypersensitivity.
/ Let's face it - the Over-reaction... http://jesusandmo.net/2008/07/28/joke/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » silly | Jesus: Barmaid, why is there SOMETHING rather than NOTHING?
/ Barmaid: I don't know
/ Mo: How do you explain the EXISTENCE of the laws of LOGIC?
/ Barmaid: I don't know / Jesus: Ha ha, poor ignorant barmaid doesn't know the answer
/ Mo: Ha ha ha! We do
/ Barmaid: What is it then? / Jesus: God!
/ Mo: GOD... http://jesusandmo.net/2008/08/01/silly/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » onion | Jesus: Whenever I point out something STUPID or HORRIBLE in the KORAN, you TWIST it round into something POSITIVE
/ Jesus: It's as if you have been HYPNOTISED / Jesus: I once saw a stage hypnotist hand his subject an ONION and tell her it was an APPLE
/ Jesus: She happily took a BITE out of it, and declared... http://jesusandmo.net/2008/08/04/onion/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » stuck | Mo: Islam is GOD'S LAW, and its greatest strength is that, unlike Man's law, it is ETERNAL and UNCHANGING
/ Barmaid: What's so good about UNCHANGING? / Mo: Unchanging STAYS THE SAME!
/ Barmaid: So does STAGNANT
/ Barmaid: And STUCK / Jesus: And STUNTED
/ Barmaid: As the world moves on, Islam tries in vain... http://jesusandmo.net/2008/08/07/stuck/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » novel | Jesus: I'm writing a NOVEL about a love affair between a CHRISTIAN boy and a MUSLIM girl
/ Mo: Careful - you might OFFEND the MUSLIM COMMUNITY / Jesus: Oh yes. Ok, I'll make it about a GAY boy who falls in love with a STRAIGHT girl
/ Mo: Hmm - could be offensive to the gay community / Jesus: Alright,... http://jesusandmo.net/2008/08/13/novel/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » bored | MO: I'M BORED OF GAMING / JESUS: WHY DON'T YOU WRITE A HAIKU? / MO: A HAIKU? / MO: WHAT'S THAT? http://jesusandmo.net/2008/08/19/bored/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » satan | Mo: Ya ALLAH! Those costumes must have been designed by SATAN HIMSELF / Mo: Look at those women running and jumping around in the DEVIL'S BIKINIS, exposing their bodies for the WHOLE WORLD to see!
/ Mo: What a barbaric display of DECADENCE and IMMODESTY / Mo: I tell you - NOTHING could make Satan HAPPIER... http://jesusandmo.net/2008/08/20/satan/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » alps | [[Mo reading the Oxford English Dictionary, Jesus reading Which Superbike?]]
/ Mo: Ha ha! Jesus, you are a CRETIN
/ Jesus: Gee, thanks Mo - and you are a RUG-BUTTER / Mo: No, I'm SERIOUS. According to this, cretin actually MEANS Christian - it's from Swiss Patois
/ Jesus: Really? / Mo: Yes. The term was... http://jesusandmo.net/2008/09/04/alps/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » ever | Mo: I cannot believe she called you a NARCISSIST / Mo: It is not narcissistic to insist that your beliefs be RESPECTED / Mo: Always remember - you are ENTITLED to respect because your beliefs are TRUE
/ Mo: How could the NOT be? / [[Mo gazing at himself in a mirror]]
/ Mo: How could anyone ever doubt... http://jesusandmo.net/2008/09/09/ever/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » cern | Barmaid: So the LARGE HADRON COLLIDER at CERN started up yesterday, and the END OF THE WORLD hasn't happened. Are you RELIEVED?
/ Jesus: Acutally, I was never WORRIED
/ Mo: Me neither / Jesus: The has been a lot of IGNORANT CHATTER about those CERN experiments
/ Mo: But there was never any DANGER. High-energy... http://jesusandmo.net/2008/09/11/cern/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » nine | Mo: "The PAEDOPHILE PROPHET"?!
/ Mo: That is SO UNFAIR! / Mo: I rose from HUMBLE origins to command armies of THOUSANDS - do they call me "the powerful Prophet"? - No
/ Mo: I implemented a MULTITUDE of laws upon which to base the most JUST and PERFECT society on earth - do they call me "the principled... http://jesusandmo.net/2008/09/16/nine/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » pride | [[Jesus reading the bible]]
/ Jesus: I'm just rereading this FOOT-WASHING episode. It's quite MOVING
/ Jesus: You got to hand it to me - when it comes to HUMILITY, I'm DA MAN / [[Mo reading The Jewel of Medina]]
/ Mo: BULLSHIT! I'm WAY humbler than you are
/ Jesus: FORGET it, dude - I am the CROWNED KING... http://jesusandmo.net/2008/09/19/pride/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » cult | Barmaid: Would it be fair to describe your respective religions as "CULTS"?
/ Jesus: NO
/ Mo: Not at ALL - we know all about cults / Jesus: A cult creates sharp DISTINCTIONS between its MEMBERS and the REST OF SOCIETY
/ Mo: Cult members follow a powerful LEADER who claims DIVINE AUTHORITY or is on a special... http://jesusandmo.net/2008/09/24/cult/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » blue | Jesus: The HUMAN BODY is clearly the work of a SUPREMELY INTELLIGENT DESIGNER. The idea that such miraculous PERFECTION evolved by CHANCE, isn't very ... INTELLIGENT!
/ Mo: Good one, Jesus! Ha ha h... / Jesus: The intricately interwoven COMPLEXITY of the human organism is surely the most COMPELLING evidence... http://jesusandmo.net/2008/09/26/blue/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » ninja | [[Mo clad in black burka]]
/ Mo: What a RUDE man that was! "NINJA WOMAN" indeed! Doesn't he know who I AM?
/ Jesus: He WAS rude / Jesus: But to be fair, he had no means of discerning your IDENTITY, or indeed your GENDER
/ Mo: It's so annoying. I wear this out of MODESTY, but all I get is unwanted ATTENTION / Jesus:... http://jesusandmo.net/2008/10/01/ninja/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » bill | Jesus: Listen to this!
/ Jesus: "Next time you meet an atheist, tell him or her that you know a bold, fresh guy, a barbarian who was raised in a working-class home and retains the lessons he learned there" / Jesus: "Then mention to that atheist that this guy is now watched and listened to, on a daily... http://jesusandmo.net/2008/10/03/bill/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » world | Barmaid: How can God be supremely good when there is so much evil in the world?
/ Jesus: He gave us free will!
/ Mo: If there was no ugliness, we could not appreciate beauty. / Jesus: The experience of evil and suffering helps us to become what god wants us to be.
/ Mo: Ultimately, it all a mystery - we... http://jesusandmo.net/2008/10/08/world/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » denial | Jesus: Hey Mo, there's a guy here says Islam is a violent religion because you were a violent man.
/ Mo: He is a liar who deserves death. / Jesus: He also suggests that Muslims are imperious and arrogant in their belief in the superiority of their religion.
/ Mo: How dare he! / Jesus: And he says that,... http://jesusandmo.net/2008/10/10/denial/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » moose | Jesus: That SARAH PALIN is a bit ditsy, but you have to admit she's a FINE-LOOKING woman.
/ Mo: I'll say - I'd like to VIOLATE a few ETHICS ACTS with HER / Jesus: Ha ha! I'd show her RUSSIA from MY window
/ Barmaid: That's ENOUGH. If you must be SEXIST, at least try to do it PROPERLY / Mo: I'd shoot... http://jesusandmo.net/2008/10/14/moose/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » shins | Mo: So, what have you been up to, Moses?
/ Moses: The usual - wandered about, took a couple of philosophy courses. I flirted with Radical Scepticism for a while.
/ Jesus: What's that? / Moses: It's the idea that knowledge is impossible. That we have no grounds for making any truth claims about reality.... http://jesusandmo.net/2008/10/17/shins/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » money | Moses: Making clay models again, Jesus?
/ Jesus: Yeah, Muslims at prayer. / Jesus: I'm going to sell them on the internet.
/ Moses: You won't sell many. They're cute, but completely useless. / Moses: People don't have money to throw away on useless ornaments these days.
/ Jesus: Take a closer look, they... http://jesusandmo.net/2008/10/21/money/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » line | Moses: Jesus asked me to help finance his Muslim pencil sharpener business, but I refused.
/ I think it's morally wrong to hurt the religious sensitivities of over a billion people. / Moses: To mock a person's religion is to attack the very core of their identity. It's a form of humiliation and subjugation.
/ It... http://jesusandmo.net/2008/10/24/line/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » bed | [[Jesus and Mo are in Bed. Jesus is reading 'Bed Maker' magazine and Mo is reading 'The Bible.']]
/ Mo: I DON'T GET WHY CHRISTIANS THINK YOU'RE SO GREAT
/ Jesus: WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I DIED FOR THEIR SINS. THAT'S TOTALLY AWESOME! / Mo: BUT AS AN OMISCIENT BEING, YOU KNEW FROM THE BEGINNING OF TIME EXACLY... http://jesusandmo.net/2008/11/04/bed/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » bus | [[Jesus and Mo are at the pub having a pint.]]
/ Jesus: WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THOSE MILITANT ATHEISTS AND THEIR "THERE'S PROBABLY NO GOD" BUS AD CAMPAIGN, MO?
/ Mo: I AM ENRAGED BY THEM, BUT FOR THE MOMENT I AM AFFECTING A FACADE OF SUPERIOR AMUSEMENT / Jesus: ME TOO. THAT "PROBABLY" IS VERY FUNNY. MAYBE... http://jesusandmo.net/2008/11/07/bus/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » email | Jesus: Hey Mo! We got an email from Moses! / Mo: Last we saw of him was when he went off to the gents in the pub. Where the hell is he?
/ Jesus: He's in Mexico! / Jesus: Says it suits him just fine - Nice weather. Cheep tequila. And he can siesta every afternoon. / Mo: He's seeing Esther? Does Ahasuerus... http://jesusandmo.net/2008/11/12/email/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » thick | [[At the pub]]
/ Barmaid: Are you boys OK? You look like you've been crying.
/ Jesus: We have. Hardly anyone has bought our book.
/ Barmaid: What Vol 4 - that big thick one? You suprise me. / Jesus: I'm afraid we might not be able to buy you a Christmas present, Barmaid.
/ Barmaid: Oh, you guys don't... http://jesusandmo.net/2008/11/14/thick/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » death | Barmaid: Take the euthanasia question.
/ Barmaid: If you think it is wrong to take your own life or to have another person assist you in doing so - that's fair enough. Don't do it. / Barmaid: You are entitled to your beliefs and willing to take the consequences of them - even if that means suffering... http://jesusandmo.net/2008/11/19/death/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » think | [[Jesus and Mo are down at the pub, each having drained a pint, and are staring vacantly at the Barmaid, who is lecturing them on the dubious basis for their moral claims.]]
/ Barmaid: THE PROBLEM IS THAT THE PREMISES UPON WHICH YOU BASE YOUR WORLD-VIEW - NAMELY THAT THERE EXISTS A "HOLY BOOK" INPIRED... http://jesusandmo.net/2008/11/21/think/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » zurich | I just don't get it. Being omniscient, didn't you know exactly what was going to happen when you came down to Earth?
/ Of course I did. / So it all turned out as you intended - with the Romans putting you to death?
/ Thus completing the divine sacrifice upon which salvation depends - yes. / So how can... http://jesusandmo.net/2008/11/26/zurich/ |